Name: #184 - Skid Ray | The Tim Dillon Show
Uploaded: 2020-01-26T05:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '#184 - Skid Ray | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-01-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '#184 - Skid Ray | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-01-26. Transcript available.

#184 - Skid Ray | The Tim Dillon Show

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the tim dylan show it is tim dylan we are here
from our new
studio which is a work in progress keep your mouth shut keep your criticisms
down you there's no such
thing as constructive criticism from any of you so shut up roger deakins wants
to chime in he can
who the hell's that he's one of the most famous cinematographers in the world
shut up you haven't
been introduced they know me ray's been in l.a three days until walking around
telling everybody
how hollywood works okay we're here in the new studio from an undisclosed
location so none of
you people get cute and show up uh and we're very excited uh to be doing video
because
i know it's very important for the people on youtube who get this show
absolutely for free
who pay nothing they demand video and then they're gonna they're not gonna like
they're
gonna yeah the background i really like the background yeah i want to listen it's
all gonna
it's all coming together it's all coming together folks okay as ray said once
during what the best
bomb i've ever seen was ray in a winery in cape may new jersey do you remember
that is right yeah west
cape may new jersey thank you for clarifying west cape may new jersey a fan of
this show yeah had booked
us inexplicably yeah he booked me inexplicably he wanted us to come down to do
a show we thought
potentially there'd be fans of the podcast right in cape may new jersey not
only was that not the case
the room was like older wine people it trashy though trashy but not not our
kind of trashy not our fans
right nobody that would enjoy this like billy joel fans more right right billy
joel fans right but but
like turn on him because he hasn't supported trump enough those are the types
of people you're correct
write a song about trump pussy remake piano man about trump you pussy like they
like the idea of brief
springsteen until he writes a song about a cop getting shot yeah i mean a cop
shooting a black guy they
don't like that they listen to you know uh born in the usa and think it's like
the biggest pro america
song in the world yeah they don't like 41 shots yeah so let me tell you right
now i saw bruce brigstein
amazing one of the best concerts at at the uh madison square garden e street
band 1999 with my friends aunt
deb and deb took us and he did that song 41 shots about amadou diallo okay boy
did that cool the room
boy did that cool the room everybody was really into it and then he was like 41
shots and you could
tell people were just walking milling around going to get you're going to have
a cigarette they're like
he was just reaching for his wallet yeah and it's like you know the people like
there was no chorus
for them to sing you know so they were just like he had it coming what were
they supposed to do
split second decisions aren't easy so those are the types of people in cape maine
new jersey and
then we go out right you know and you went up and you had an epic bomb you
started out talking about
i riffed something and it went well well no you're right you had one great riff
it was a sentence and
it really went well do you remember what it was i don't i don't i'm talking
about me being a fat
perhaps i don't know whatever it was it was instantly pleasing to them they
were like indeed and they
laughed and then you made a joke about heroin yeah i've been doing this bit
about you know it's not a
heavy thing it's i love the bit it's just about how heroin addicts like you
know at least they can make
new friends in their 30s i love that bit it's a good bit thank you now the
people in cape may i
guess their kids are just dropping like flies right because of this stuff it's
a bit of an epidemic who
knew who knew i do heroin jokes now but now it's gone the other way where even
the parents of the
kids who died don't care anymore they're like they're like um so ray did that
and they they they
turned on him they started yelling like move on move on right they're like move
on move on and then you
dug deeper and deeper and then you got to a point where you go listen to me you
can't just say you
brought up heroin you're fat we hate you you went you looked at them and you
went it's all coming
together folks it's all coming together and then one of the greatest things
ever you started going
into this bit about feminism oh right yeah and ray is a progressive guy he
doesn't appear progressive
he doesn't sound progressive and many progressive people wish you would just
not say anything
progressive they don't want me on the team you would just go away you know you
think you think
they're mad at rogan's endorsement what about you know so he's like i endorse
marianne williamson
um but ray goes i'd love if you married marianne williamson but so ray then he
does this bit about
feminism where the basic gist of the bit is you go you can't just say hey like
the rights don't work
explain the bit but it's like you oh yeah it's the one so basically i was
friend from long island
who's talking about um what was the premise it was basically like but basically
hey like we you know
we gave you the right to vote um and you're like that's not how the rights work
yeah that's not how
rights work you can't turn around and one of my favorite lines of the bit which
is just an aggressive
line yeah is you go we we we stopped fisting you on the subway and so they just
a group an older
crowd of wine drunks just hear him they're not listening anymore to every word
and every nuance if
they ever were so they just hear you talking about fisting on the subway right
and then i've never heard
this in any comedy show i've done and it's hilarious a loud chorus of booze
filled with this literally
they went get off get off get off get off get off get off get off get off get
off frenzy get off
and he then sat down he he finished up and sat down but it was an epic
bomb in the way that it was so much more entertaining than most people's
specials right now that's the
problem with comedy is it's one of the least entertaining things you could put
your you put
you could focus your eyes on right literally anything is funnier literally
anything people
like i have a new special no one cares i mean good good for you we're proud of
you but no i mean it's
just not i mean no one's even putting themselves out there it's it's so much of
just like it's the
kind of stuff you it's such a milk toast middle of the road yeah like what are
we doing here right
i'm not and look chapelle i love it but it's it there's a certain level of like
i know i'm gonna
be doing the controversial thing right now yeah i mean look it's cliche we talk
about so much i'm a
carlin guy i go back as a kid and it was like he had a point he was making a
point he was he wasn't
holding him back but there was there was a construction of the of the the joke
that was you know intricate
and it was funny but you know he but he was he he was also like conveying he's
not chompsky but he
wasn't you know chapelle's doing that too no chapelle is yeah it just feels a
little more like
i i never feel like carlin was trying to be like but he also wasn't dealing
with this woke culture
shit whatever it is it's just like nobody it's rare that we need an hour from
anyone unless they
are chapelle right unless you're a legend it's like tough to need out so it's
like when i watched
that bomb and i put on instagram and people are like they're invested in it
because they're watching
something happen that what's interesting about is like you don't know which
ways is gonna go yeah
what's happening right and with a comedy special you know it's relatively good
because that's why it
somebody put it out right right it's i mean part of the problem is that so many
comedy fans it's not
their fault we you know we love them but like they want a lot of time like the
edgier stuff or whatever
like you're dealing with that was raw because you're dealing with people who
like why am i even
watching this right what am i watching who is this maniac like that that level
of just kind of well
it's yeah i mean we took raising her leg he's here he's visiting we go down to
to nobu and malibu
which is a sushi obviously a hot spot in malibu right on the water beautiful we
don't have
reservations we go in we're like do you have anything for two they go yeah the
sushi bar like
face face the wall right you two face the wall logics the rappers walking out
of there i would
not even know who he is until right number one he's white and i know that he
says the n-word a lot
because he has a black parent god bless him but it's you're white so whatever
but i get it and he
walks out like you know and i'm like ah good for him and then he wasn't saying
the n-word in nobu i'm
just saying i i've noticed that that you know he has that license that was you
and i don't know right
that was me that was me um and we go in there and and and ray first of all it's
no longer sunset it's
dark you can't see anything nobu's like infested with celebrities and other
people that don't want
to be like filmed ray does the craziest thing i've ever seen in my life he swivels
around in the chair at
the sushi bar which by the way they put us into sushi bar to face the wall so
that nobody would have to
see us eating slurping fish because you know what sushi is you slurp it with
your fingers you're like
and nobody nobody needs to see ray or myself playing with soy sauce you know so
they go face the wall he
turns around with his phone and starts filming the restaurant it's absolutely
true you know that's why
you're laughing it's a horror show first of all we're conspicuous in there
already i'm like low profile
keep it low keep it low he turns around with his phone and he's like and i go
what the
are you doing i said you can't do this this is crazy because i'm trying to get
a view i'm trying to
there is no view it's dark tell everyone what happened if i'm first of all as a
preface you've
taken me very nice restaurants i've never you know you've never done this
before i've met some famous
people lost your mind no i've met something i'm i don't go out of my way
introduce myself to people
you had a moment of temporary insanity with this i was only thinking about my
girlfriend lucy okay that's
sweet but she's like she was um did she ask you to film a restaurant for her
but i was like i forgot
there was even celebrities there i don't i don't even know who magic is i
understand that i'm saying
like they're just regular people if you really it would have been wrong in a
sizzler which we were
in earlier next to the fat store if you took out a phone in a sizzler and did
that it would be also
wrong and probably criminal i would just lose a nice architecture i understand
that it's a nice
looking like i'm just gonna show her man she's stuck at home in our apartment a
man such as yourself
should not be filming people in a restaurant it was very quick it was a picture
wasn't it i wasn't
filming this is not a documentary i wasn't trying to get like some i wasn't
trying to do some kind of
pedophilia documentary in nobu i'm just trying to like you know get like show
her hey look at the
the wood's very nice here i understand what you were trying to do but it was a
moment of temporary
saturday sure you were completely insane i forgot about how exclusive can this
place be if we me and
you could just walk in because we've talked about it before nice restaurants
are the only thing that
can't legally keep us out right that's why food is our only luxury we've
discussed this before people
say why do you like nice red well then you let me in your country club then and
i won't be as fat i can't
go anywhere else i can't get on someone's jet i can't just waltz into bel air
and walk through the
gates and enjoy myself right the only thing that so far legally they cannot
stop me and you from doing
is going to a nice restaurant it is the only luxury for the poor and i get
beaten up on fatty i'm not
fat positive fat activist i get it it's bad for you it causes diabetes i kn