Name: #205 - Well, LA Was Fun | The Tim Dillon Show
Uploaded: 2020-06-21T04:00:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '#205 - Well, LA Was Fun | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '#205 - Well, LA Was Fun | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-21. Transcript available.

#205 - Well, LA Was Fun | The Tim Dillon Show

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. We are here. It is late
Thursday night, early Friday morning in the studio.
We are doing a lot of stuff. We got the TBS Tournament of Laughs coming up that
we made a video for.
Me and Benjamin, we're going against, I don't know, I think Godfrey, who's a
phenomenal comedian.
And maybe we'll advance. I don't know if that's an audience vote. I don't know
if they're a judge.
I really don't. I haven't paid attention. And TBS executives have tweeted. They've
called me and they're like, why aren't you tweeting anything out?
And I just, I'm like, listen, it is what it is. Don't you do any of the
marketing network? Do you do any of the marketing for the show?
One of the executive producers is like, maybe Joe Rogan will talk about it. I'm
like, maybe.
Is that, are you trying to tell me something? Maybe he will, you know, if he
likes the show, maybe he'll bring it up. I don't know.
Let's get to the most, I want to say pressing matter, but it's really not in
the world of, you know, civil unrest, pandemics, and economic catastrophes.
But it is a pressing matter. And it is something people have a lot of interest
in.
And it is something that everybody's kind of talking about this week. And it
does affect LA.
And it is serious. And it is something that I want to talk about. And it's
something I've talked about before on this show.
And that it is that Ocean Prime is back open. The Steakhouse Ocean Prime, which
has a lot of good seafood and it's in Beverly Hills.
And I think that it's back open on the patio now. They do have inside dining,
but they're encouraging people to go on the patio.
And I think that's important. It's important that people go back out on the
patio and be careful, but also enjoy yourself.
Ocean Prime is also, of course, offering curbside to go.
That's, I'm kidding. That's a joke. That's a joke.
Of course, the story I'm talking about is a lot of people are trying to recall
Gavin Newsom, the governor of California.
And people said to me, where are you on this? And, you know, he's, you know, he's
decent looking and he's done it fair, you know, whatever.
He's a little drunk on his own power, but who is it, you know?
I was watching this. There's a show on Netflix called You. Have you seen this?
Why are you laughing? Have you seen this show on Netflix called You?
I saw both seasons, yeah. It's the guy from Gossip Girl, Penn Badgley? Bagley?
I don't know how to say his name.
And he plays a serial killer. And the first episode is in Brooklyn.
The first season is in Brooklyn. And the second season is in Los Angeles,
California.
And, um, I was watching this show and this show is very fun to watch.
I mean, it is. It's, I mean, it's not fun to live, I imagine, but it is fun to
watch.
I mean, it is a very watchable show. It's a very watchable show.
Um, and you know who's in it? You know who's in the show? Comedian.
Do you know who's in the show? Is it Chris D'Elia?
No, it's comedian Zach Cherry. Can you Google Zach Cherry?
Google Zach Cherry. Chris is in it as well. Google Zach. This is the big guy.
Comedian Zach Cherry.
Oh, that guy. You know, he's in it a lot. He's a big boy.
Yeah.
But he's a fun man. Chris is in it as well. What does Chris play in the show?
A pedophile?
Well, he plays a comedian who is, uh, into an underage girl.
Here's the thing, folks.
He plays a character named Henderson.
I've spoken to Chris D'Elia about three times in my life.
They've all been to the comedy store and he's been very pleasant to me.
Now, that is not a defense and that is not me trying to qualify anything I'm
going to say here.
Uh, but I will say that Chris has been very kind to me and he's said that I'm
very funny.
And that does count, uh, a little bit.
It does, not, not, it doesn't excuse what is shaping up to be some very
disturbing allegations,
but he's always been very nice to me.
Chris is one of those guys who's like a real famous comedian.
Like when you look at his Instagram, it's like Machine Gun Kelly would comment.
He did the thing with Eminem.
He's like the L.A. comic, right?
He's like Bieber's favorite comic, right?
Like Bieber would go to the store, right?
Yes, yeah.
It's everything in comedy that like I am, I am not that.
Like I am not like the guy that's cool who has a fan base that's cool.
You know what I mean?
Like the last person to retweet something I did who was really big was Candace
Owens.
So let's just, you know, I'm like not a cool comic and Chris is a cool comic.
Not that he's done uncool things, but I mean like, but he's very sweet to me.
Listen, everybody knew the dude got laid.
We just knew he got laid because his fan base was women.
Women would attack him in the hall of the comedy store.
They would run up to him.
I'm not saying, I'm not saying that they are, but I'm saying from my own eyes,
I would see like women go up to him.
And like he was like, women don't come up to me after the set and go, I love
you so much.
I've loved you forever.
Thank God.
I saw you on InfoWars with my girlfriend.
You're so hot.
Your tits are so hot.
I saw you on InfoWars.
You're so hot.
That doesn't really happen.
Like that's not the type of comic I am.
Sadly, it would be nice if I was like, you know, pulling up in the hot car.
I usually get out of an Uber.
It's usually a frustrated Asian man because I don't know.
I don't know if the minivan doors automatically, if they're all automatic, then
why even have a hit?
But that's so, listen, if you're just fucking a lot of chicks that are of age
and they're mad at you, it's on them, right?
I mean, listen, women have agency.
Women are smart.
Women can make choices.
Now, if those women are underage, that's a serious problem.
It's a legal problem.
It's a moral problem.
It's an ethical problem.
And I imagine if more of that comes out, it's going to be dealt with in a court,
which is where, you know, unfortunately, you know, should be dealt with because
that is criminal activity.
If you're 19 and you're mad because, you know, the guy whose hotel room you
went to at 3 a.m. turned out not to be a gentleman, this is a learning
experience for all involved.
But if you're underage and you're messaged, that is fucking not right, and that'll
be dealt with in a court of law, I would imagine.
Or, you know, it's also dealt with in the court of public opinion where people
go, somebody who's doing that is just not somebody that people want to do
business with anymore or establish a friendship with.
You know, I, you know, I hope that stuff isn't true.
But, you know, I, when I was on keto, I hoped that that would work.
Do you see what I mean?
You know, Obama used to say hope is a powerful thing.
Not really.
It's not that powerful.
Facts, gravity, immutable laws, those things occasionally fly in the face of
hope.
So I hope that there is no truth to the allegations that he was messaging underage
girls.
Now, it does seem that, sadly, my hope is not going to stand up against, and by
the way, I hope that for everyone involved.
I hope it for the girls, I hope it for him.
I hope that, like, that's not going on.
Am I going to get a better spot at the store because he won't be there?
Let's be honest, yes.
I'm not, I'm not going to lie.
I mean, the week ain't over.
It might not be, a few people don't be there.
But, I'm kidding.
We're kids, a comedy show.
We're doing a comedy podcast, and I wish everyone well.
Here's the reality.
It's a bad situation for a lot of people that knew him, that are very
disappointed and disgusted.
And, you know, there's a lot of fucking, I bet that guy, sadly, has a lot of
demons, a lot of things that he's fighting, and the whole thing's bad.
Whole thing is no good.
No good.
But, everything I'm involved in is destroyed.
I got into subprime mortgages.
They were, we, you know, we had a recession.
Adam McKay was producing a show of mine, and then he dissolved his company with
Will Ferrell, Gary Sanchez.
Anthony Bourdain's company was producing my travelogue with Comedy Central, and
he hung himself in a room several days later.
My agent, who signed me in 2016, is no longer working at the agency that signed
me.
I mean, I tend to get into the party as the party is breaking up.
I tend to arrive at the party as the cop cars are being seen through the window,
and this is maybe literally now.
But, that's when I get to the party, and that's unfortunate.
So, if I walk in, I mean, it's countdown till something's gonna go down, and it's
not gonna be good.
So, again, I feel for the victims of this.
Like, the women that were messaged and were made to feel uncomfortable, that
were underage, that is illegal, and that is wrong.
I do not feel for the comedians who are complaining that they don't get better
spots.
I think it's a little disgusting to try to weave your own personal narrative
into this, and your own gripes, and your problems.
Chris killed, whether you like his comedy or not, Chris killed, he killed
harder at the store than anyone I've ever seen.
I mean, he earned his spots at the comedy store.
He had theaters of thousands of people coming to see him.
I mean, whether you liked his comedy or not, it doesn't matter.
People did, and they came to see him, and he made money.
So, the comics that are out there now, and they did this with Louie, they did
this with everybody.
They come out, and they're like,
That guy sucks.
He's stuck.
He's not even good at comedy like me.
He's not good at comedy like me.
That's...
All right, man.
Get online.
Create your own shit, then.
You know?
Just fucking stop whining.
You know?
But, I mean, this is Thursday night, early Friday morning.
More may come out.
More may come out.
I would imagine that this rocks things a little bit here in this town.
I've only been here a year.
Seems like it may be time to start thinking about pizza again in the Hudson
River.
If we could get de Blasio out of there.
Get the COVID out and the de Blasio out.
Maybe I'll waltz back.
I think Rogan's teasing that he's moving to another state.
Chris seems unfocused at the moment, because he'd be the next biggest act.
So, I don't know what's going to happen out here.
But, you know.
See me?
Here's me.
There he goes.
There he goes.
See him?
Just one taco.
One last taco.
Yeah.
You know, I feel bad for, you know, the women that were affected.
You know?
I mean, this is shitty.
And I don't know facts.
This is the other thing.
I've not done a deep dive on the facts.
Doesn't mean I'm doubting people or not believing them.
I'm saying I have not personally looked into this at all.
Have you looked at any of the facts, really?
I mean, facts.
I mean, I guess anything could be photoshopped, right?
I mean, these are just screenshots.
I mean, the idea that all these people are coming together and photoshopping a
bunch of things seems to be...
Do you think it's the Russians?
Do you think it's the Russians?
It's Russian bots.
Do you think it's the Chinese?
It would be, and I'm not saying that he should do this, but it would be beyond
funny if he came out and said this was Russia.
Yeah.
Like, if he came out and he said, first they installed Donald Trump the puppet.
Then they manufacture a bunch of screenshots and take me down.
God damn them.
God damn them.
The Russians.
Putin.
Fuck you, Putin.
I don't want to laugh, folks.
I don't want to laugh because people are going to get angry with me for
laughing.
They're going to go, I know it's a serious situation, but I deal with serious
situations with humor.
I just have to laugh, but it's, you know, wherever it goes, it goes.
I don't know what to tell you, you know?
You know, it probably was not Russia.
I don't know.
Or China.
Yeah, I imagine it wasn't China.
I mean, it seems legit.
It's unfortunate that this is happening, you know?
There's so much good news in the country.
By the way, this is like the entertainment news.
Right.
The news is so bad, now they're like, this is entertainment news, you know?
They're like, and in the entertainment corner, this is the fluff.
Right.
