Name: #221 - Epstein's Favorite Podcast | The Tim Dillon Show
Uploaded: 2020-10-11T04:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '#221 - Epstein's Favorite Podcast | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '#221 - Epstein's Favorite Podcast | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-11. Transcript available.

#221 - Epstein's Favorite Podcast | The Tim Dillon Show

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the tim dylan show we are here in arizona don't
worry about it
tour is over very soon and then we are back in the studio i've had enough it's
been very fun uh
going out and doing stand-up comedy again you begin to realize how much you
love it uh and how
much it is also uh destroying your life so it is nice to be out uh come mid-november
we're shutting
it down till the spring and then we'll do another month in the spring um but
this will not this this
constant you know airbnbs and rental cars and planes is like this was great not
doing this was
phenomenal and uh we'll i'm gonna get back to that shortly i'm just gonna have
a pandemic no matter
what in my head i don't care if everybody gets vaccinated i don't give a i'm
going back home
locking the door going back inside i will i'm not so when i put out dates if
you want to come see me
cool if not don't but then it's going to be three or four months of doing
nothing this this what i was
going to do last year is be on the road 40 weeks or something crazy like that i
will never do that
again um i'm happy doing these month month and a half intensive tours and then
being done with it
uh because uh you know enough's enough i can reach more people like this to be
honest than i can you
know comedy club by comedy club you know and they're all lovely environments
these comedy clubs are all
great you know i have owners of clubs coming in and giving me uh you know re-gifted
ear pods as a gift
selling it out i appreciate it um but i will i will uh i'll pass on that um but
it's been a lot of
fun the shows are really really fun none of the problems that i have ever have
to do with the shows
which are the most fun it is every other minute and hour of the day getting to
that stage that is taxing
um so you know we're out when we're out we're out come see us we have a lot of
fun and then when
we're in we're in and that is that is what i've learned about this pandemic is
that it reprioritized
a lot of things for me i'm gonna put a lot more into digital we're putting a
lot into digital already
that's the future the future is not i see all these comics and i love them and
i respect them
you know they're performing in fields and on rooftops and wherever they can and
i get it and i respect the
hell out of that that is not the future that is over and i don't know what to
tell you it's not
maybe you don't like that that's over many people don't like many things um
doesn't matter the future
is the future um and we're here in arizona which is the worst state in the
union uh by far there is no
comparison there is nothing worse than arizona uh arizona is uh it is an
absolute i mean it has no
redeeming qualities it is a hot arid desert landscape uh with some of the trashiest
least
intelligent human beings uh to have ever uh you know graced the you know planet
here it is bad
there are some hot people there's some probably big only fans accounts there's
some aspiring porn stars
there's a few guys it's probably fun to get into a ponzi scheme within scottsdale
there's a few people
that own houseboats on lake havasu that it's probably fun it's a great place to
be when you're 23
and you're trying to or whatever i don't know but i mean get me out of here get
me out of here i've
had fun the shows are fun the crowds are fun um but the crowds always hold they
also feel like it's like
you know in it you gotta if you lose them for a minute you know god only knows
what happens here
god only knows what people are just screaming people are yelling and screaming
um it is it is a
it is truly an embarrassment the state of arizona there's just no other way to
put it you know the
owner of the club was like i'm staying in this place peoria the owner of the
club's like oh you're
staying in peoria what are you doing i'm like buddy the whole state should be
firebombed what are you out
of your mind you think you have an estate in the pacific palisades it's a you're
on the surface
of mars here and everybody's a retard so what does it matter where i am the
whole place is
it's irredeemable one of your best restaurants in phoenix has fried bread it's
called the fry bread
house and they take refried beans and put it on fry bread it's disgusting i've
really had it with the
west i really have the country shot i drove from utah to fucking arizona i'm
sick of the red clay canyons
and here's the general store i'm sick of that hokey horse shit frontier town
crap it's enough already grow
the fuck up i'm sick of it give it back to the indians give it back to them the
native americans
my apologies but the country's shot it's disgusting the grand canyon we passed
that
looks the same as it did when i was a kid it's disgusting do something else
i'm it's just enough already with these and of course i'm with this 24 year old
who's opening for
me i love he's an idiot so i mean he's like oh isn't it beautiful isn't it
beautiful isn't it nice
you stop it's not nice and it's not beautiful civilization is beautiful people
working is beautiful not rock
formations get out of the national parks please you know it's beautiful uh
families progress
that's beautiful not a red clay rock formation that looks like somewhere aliens
land and face
fuck you
oh is that national park is so beautiful yeah it's great can you get me to arizona
please
so i could perform for these fry bread heads so i get the fuck out of here jesus
christ
these fucking tan leathery people spent their entire life just marinating
themselves in vodka
i mean i appreciate arizona they're open they're letting shows happen i'm down
with that man
they're letting things happen we're all taking a few risks these motherfuckers
do not care they are out
there maskless just fucking partying what are you gonna do we gotta live we
gotta do things some
people don't want to live that's the other thing i mean we're all creating
government policy based on
the idea that everybody wants to be here that isn't true a lot of people's
actions suggest otherwise
so let them uh infections are now up in new york city they tried what are they
trying to do they
tried to shut down the uh hasidic jews yes because the hasidic jews aren't
having it in new york yeah
they're not having it they're not having it and listen they're doing what they
want to do
so meatball and de blasio who are destroying the city and state respectively
are now picking on the jews
because nothing else is going right because the economy can't reopen because
they've destroyed the
entire city so now they're picking on the hasidic jews who they really don't
bother anybody they just
they walk around with big hats and some of those hats are furry and i like
those hats and i don't
know what they call them i always wanted to wear one you know without you know
culturally appropriating
or being a victim of a hate crime what is that hat called it's called the strimal
or a shabbat hat
yeah you don't know what you're talking about there's another type of hat that's
furry it's like a big
furry hat this one right by the way i watched that documentary about hasidic
jews one of us and it
was supposed to be uh groundbreaking and it was just the same they're like
during a divorce uh
there's a oh the war of the family i'm like it's the same can we stop
pretending that everything's
so different please the hasidic jews are the same as these people that want to
get drunk on like
half they just don't give a they don't care if they're gonna go they're gonna
go
stop trying to keep everyone on earth for what i mean this country is going to
hell and everybody
wants to keep everyone here no there are no jobs and everybody goes we need
more people to not do
the jobs that don't exist right god forbid anyone die god forbid the employment
the unemployment office
lines a little shorter if you take away people's freedom and you make them live
in a fucking uh
prison of of apps and algorithms they are going to rebel because that is not a
life that is not a life
they want to be free trump is running as ty rivera who's opening for me very
funny comic said trump is
running with freedom biden is running with maybe more lockdowns maybe more it's
probably going to be neck
and neck but i will say this if you're running as a candidate of making
decisions and being free
your pro you might win in this country because we are deeply uncomfortable
people like me are deeply
uncomfortable with just having a federal government uh stop us from working
indefinitely for for something
where there may not be a vaccine this may be the best we do we may have to let
herd immunity build up
there isn't another option the economy cannot be decimated completely to
protect
a small amount of people doesn't mean the covet isn't real or that it isn't
serious or that
there aren't lasting effects all of that is true and it is tragic the tragedy
in this country is is
it's all tragic by the way you know what about the people remember pre-covered
all the people that
didn't get health care and dropped dead was that not tragic what about the
soldiers who got back from
iraq who didn't have mental health care and they blow their brains out a
staggering amount of them
every month was that not tragic is this the only thing that's tragic by the way
is coronavirus is there
anything else that upsets you people how about the kids that go to bed hungry
every night is that
tragic how about all the people whose jobs were shipped to bangladesh and they
were told to rot in
towns and do opioids with their kids is that tragic or is there no tragedy that
doesn't begin
and end with a fucking cough okay let's reign it in here act like a fucking
adult everything's tragic
life is suffering in hell not for me at the moment i'm in a nice airbnb but it
ain't great
i don't like the design scheme it's arizona it's the best we're gonna do i'm
not complaining i'm just
saying this this attitude now that this is the only problem we've ever fed
nobody ever died before this
god forbid i'm not saying you shouldn't protect yourself if you're immunocompromised
or if you
don't want to risk you don't have to buy a ticket to one of my shows i think
you should buy it and not
come nothing would make me happier nothing would make me happier than to sell
out these shows and have
no one come and walk out onto the stage and say my fans are responsible then go
back to the airbnb
so please if you are responsible buy tickets for chicago and denver and kansas
city and oklahoma
city and do not come none of you come just sell out the venues let me walk in
let me sit on the stage
i'll feel safe you'll feel safe and then i'll do an instagram live from the airbnb
it's a win-win
i come i get to check i never need to work i don't need to work and i think
people who do are very sick
i need to earn money i get that i don't need to work for it
yelp is now yelp this is where we're at we have police brutality we have a very
bad situation with the
brianna taylor with the no knock warrant which is a one of the stupidest things
that i've ever read about
have known about the idea that the government can enter your house without
knocking in the middle of
the night to me is insane we have that we have uh derek chauvin um stepping on
a man's neck for eight
nine minutes almost killing him we have protests erupt all over the country we
have instances of police
brutality on film and on camera police need to be retrained they need to be demilitarized
they need to
re-establish um you know a trust with with communities there needs to be more
community policing there needs
to be more stuff to fight poverty in those communities so that people aren't
necessarily
uh given no other option but to uh you know embrace a life of crime we need to
fight that battle on all
fronts now we're not doing any of that but yelp yelp has stepped in and is now
allowing fat americans to
to identify which restaurants are racist because like everything else in america
uh the solution involves food
and dining there's nothing in america t