Name: #237 - Buy The Dip | The Tim Dillon Show
Uploaded: 2021-01-31T05:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '#237 - Buy The Dip | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '#237 - Buy The Dip | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-31. Transcript available.

#237 - Buy The Dip | The Tim Dillon Show

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the tim dylan show what a week it's been you
can't even get a
good scam going in this country anymore and it's not even a scam ironically
what's being what's
happening if you followed anything uh is that uh you know people uh are trying
to buy stock in a
free market um and they're trying to buy companies like gamestop and amc and
nokia these are not
companies that are under investigation and um they have pushed the prices of
these stocks up
forcing all the hedge fund managers and hedge funds that have shorted these
stocks to cover their bets
and they're not happy about it so it's it's it's it's really these independent
day traders versus
you know the goliath uh institutional big banks hedge fund people and it's been
it's been unfolding
for the last few days one of the most interesting things in finance that has
probably ever happened
in history and people are lining up on either side of it dave portnoy um and elon
musk seem to be for
this kind of you know um disruption and then you have people like elizabeth warren
who's a fraud
which we know saying things like casino-like swings and stock prices of gamestop
reflect
wild levels of speculation that don't help gamestop's workers or customers and
could lead to market
instability what a word market instability today i told the sec to explain what
it's exactly doing to
prevent market manipulation so if you had any illusion that people like elizabeth
warren wanted
you to make any money you now that illusion has been smashed permanently they
don't want you to make
any money they don't care they want they may want you vaccinated but they don't
want you to have
any fucking money okay elizabeth warren does not want you to have money to
better your life and the
life of your family okay remember everyone who is against this remember
everybody that came out and
said that this was egregious and it leads to market instability and it's uh it
what it really is is
people trying to wrestle back a little bit of power not even a lot a tiny bit
of power from these oligarchs
and they won't have it they can't do it they won't let you do it gamestop gets
to 400 they halt trading
right yeah yeah they halt it robin hood app the guy stopped selling uh amc they
stopped selling
gamestop and i'm in amc a little heavy and uh you know i didn't get into gamestop
early enough
um but this is the biggest disruption the market's seen in a very long time and
and people like elizabeth
warren are coming out and going we know what's best for you and what's best for
you is that you make
the money that we say you make we're fighting to get you another dollar an hour
at your shitty slave
wage job don't worry about it we're trying to get you that and we might get you
a little fake health
insurance too we might get you pretend insurance how about that you'll sleep
easier with pretend
insurance but don't ever think you can get into the game with the big boys
because they own us
it's it's absurd and uh i of course um have no illusions about uh i
unfortunately i think people
should hold these stocks if you can push hold their feet to the fire keep doing
that um and we're
just going to keep seeing this it's going to make it harder and harder they'll
introduce some new
regulation they'll say there's a certain net worth requirement to trade
probably they're going to
they're going to play around with all these things i mean you have hedge fund
managers crying on cnbc
leon cooperman's in tears on cnbc be like i care i care that's why i'm upset it's
because i care
do you care leon cooperman um but yeah i mean and they keep bringing him on he's
like freaking out
he's always freaking out he's freaking out this will end badly for who by the
way it's been ending
badly for the american people every day for the last 40 years now it might end
badly for you and your
friends they don't want you in the hamptons folks they don't want you at their
country club and then
he goes well i voted for biden i voted my values over my pocketbook just want
to make sure everybody
knows that i voted for biden you know um it is really interesting to watch this
all unfold and
these guys are coming out and they're crying i mean they're they're tearing up
at the idea of this at
the thought of people exercising the freedom to buy securities on an app like
robin hood is making
these people cry because they care about you remember that they're you're
making money and they're crying
because they care about you it would be like if you walked in with a winning
scratch off and you won
30 grand and everyone you told started crying you're going this isn't the way
it should work
this what about the fundamentals what well what about necessary market
functions
what they manipulate prices all the time they inflate things they short they do
everything okay
they care nothing about rules laws all they care about is winning and having
more money than you
so when you start to up their money they get on cnbc and cry and say that this
is bad for the
system it's not going to end badly uh and just be honest about it tell people
why it's not going to
end badly tell people why it's going to end real bad just look at cnbc look at
the host of cnbc go
we'll do another 911 straight up tell them they go we're prepared to go to full
we'll release more
pandemics we're working with somebody right now and we're going to do another
we're going to do a
real coronavirus soon it's going to be bad not that this one's not real but
they're like we're going
to do the plague the next thing we're going to try is the plague i'm on clubhouse
now which is a new app
that uh i have invites to and none of you are getting invites uh clubhouse is
an invite only
app it's dropping audio chat it's a social network that's based on your voice
where people around the
world come to network talk to each other have open conversations about the
issues of the day
and i was sponsored by michael gruen who is a uh bitcoin guy also he owns the
uh sway house which
is a tick tock house in los angeles and he's a very funny guy who uh is very
successful entrepreneur
and he brought me on and everybody on there not everybody but a lot of people
on there are
entrepreneurs venture capitalists investors people that uh have come up with
very successful apps
really really successful people in the tech space and a lot of the rooms are
very fun we goof around
they bring me on i'm like you know they invite me as a speaker i'm a comedian i
throw in a funny line
every few minutes but reality i listen i listen and some of the conversations
are very interesting
and informative and some of them are terrifying because you're meeting your
captors truly you're
you're you're getting into a they're running the world they're going to run the
world they're going
to win when they talk they have this very cold blooded like you know some of
them say well you know
we have to put guardrails up online don't we and you're like god they're gonna
win it's terrifying
but they're gonna win but it really is for a guy like me i'm listening to my
cat it would be like
if there was an app in the 1800s where slaves could ask questions to their
masters so you're shackled
in a barn and you get to go on an app and go what do we think tomorrow is it
field tomorrow and they go
well production has been very low and we do blame the weather but a lot of that
is because we feel
that the manpower is lacking so we are going to get in the field tomorrow and
then we're going to try to
streamline that we're going to really try to cover all of our bases i think
what is really important is
that we build an infrastructure and then you're sitting there as a slave yeah
that sounds good
one day i'll be a master i'm gonna own a plantation one day and i'll shackle
people up in a barn
and tell them what they can and can't say and how they can say it it is a
little terrifying on there and
it's fun and it's funny but when you hear these people talk um they love the
pandemic i mean they they're
they're gushing one guy goes there's gonna be a pandemic now every five years
it's just the way
the world is now it's just the way the world is everyone's gonna have to wear
masks forever we were
sharing way too many germs before everybody stay in your house stay online and
use our app use our app the
world is all the world is now different and all the things that can make the
world livable
coincidentally are all the things we've invested in isn't that nice
don't go outside there's new strains every day is another strain the andromeda
strain
they're all coming from brazil from africa yeah it's coming they're all coming
the strains won't end
and then these people on this app are talking about the new world that everyone
will live in
which will be digital forever it is the dystopian nightmare that you feared
they are preparing it
for you as you sleep truly they are and not to sound too crazy about it but
when you hear these people
talking they're they're not emotional it's very cold it's calculated they're
just like this is how it is
now we're living in the the world of pandemics we're gonna get one all the time
they're gonna be here and in order to live with this new world we're gonna have
to distance
we're gonna have to use this our infrastructure that we've built this is what
you have to use you
have to be online all the time using our apps to make a living to do anything
and by the way
if you get a little wacky we're gonna delete you delete and where are you gonna
go there's nowhere for you to go
there's nowhere for you to go because you're gonna get another strain don't
walk into an office
the strains coming that's the strain from pakistan oh it's the pakistani strain
so you have no other
option you know create your own twitter people went on parlor they said ah that
well you can make money
in the market if you want buy stocks yeah that we'll turn that off and pretty
soon and it's already
happening it's like you know we'll just start deleting you your ability to to
earn a living
if we so choose this is enforced compliance and the guys that are on the other
side of that guys like
eric weinstein who's on clubhouse all the time he's a really brilliant guy he
talks you know 19 20 hours
a day on clubhouse every day and it's still not enough you know it's like tulsi
gabbard was in a
room with him and somebody would ask our question and he'd be like tulsi what's
it like running a
presidential campaign and weinstein jumps in he's like here's what tulsi
learned you're like wait what but
he's he is an ally right eric weinstein actually doesn't want this and you hope
that he wins but
i don't know if he will because the other side seems to be very uh competent
and they seem to be
and this is just listening on this app which i spent three or four hours on a
night because it's
fucking fascinating i do a little joke every now and then everybody goes oh tim's
a comedian isn't
that funny uh but they i'm a roach in there they look at me like a row i'm like
a jester that they bring
out like hey make everyone laugh and then we're going to talk about uh you know
the type of shackles
that we get that's going to go right around the arm yeah we got a good one we're
saving money on metal
so the chain the chain we're switching from metal we're going to do an elastic
chain it's like a
polymer so you feel like you can go somewhere but it snaps you back so and that's
what they talk about
and then every now and then i come in and i make a joke and i'm like you know
and i'm like well
what about a polymer chain and they go but it to to listen to them it's it's it's
a little
uh disturbing it's a little disturbing how into it they are in terms of like
you know this pandemic
there's no end in sight and never will be there's never going to be that and
again it's not this like
vast conspiracy this is how these fuckers make their money this is how they're
going to make their money and
they're going to pretend that they're the greatest people that h