Name: #238 - Keep Your Mouth Shut | The Tim Dillon Show
Uploaded: 2021-02-07T08:30:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '#238 - Keep Your Mouth Shut | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '#238 - Keep Your Mouth Shut | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-07. Transcript available.

#238 - Keep Your Mouth Shut | The Tim Dillon Show

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show.
We do apologize for there being no video.
We also apologize for our lateness.
I don't think we've really ever been late with an episode before.
We may have been, but don't bring it up.
And the reason that we were late is because we are traveling.
We are moving the studio across the country.
That is also the reason for no video.
We were just at Whataburger, which is very average.
And I know people get angry when I say that, but I mean, I don't understand the
hoopla.
Have people never been out of their homes?
I mean, what is the pride with that?
It's fine.
I mean, the barbecue bacon burger is good, but the plain Whataburger, I mean,
what are we doing?
It's the same thing with In-N-Out.
You know, Devin and Ida get really excited about In-N-Out.
You know, I mean, the people get excited about fast food, you know, and they're
not embarrassed either.
They're shamelessly.
Now, Taco Bell is different.
Taco Bell is an iconic cultural experience, but these other places are not.
They're simply not, and I don't know what to tell you, but we did just want to
apologize to that, you know.
You know, you're consuming something that's completely free, so you deserve it
exactly when we give it to you, to be quite honest, most of you.
Some of you are paying for the Patreon, but we're always on time with that.
Ben showed me a video.
It's still kind of, it still sits with me, and can we play the audio?
Yeah.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, I'll put the audio in right here.
Are we allowed to put the audio in?
I wonder if it could get flagged, especially this early in the episode, too.
Really heinous.
I mean, not a lot of stuff rattles me, and this rattled me.
It's a murder, double murder, suicide in Philadelphia over the shoveling of
snow.
I don't even, I guess there was a couple, and they were using a snowblower or
they were using shovels.
Shovels, yeah.
And they were shoveling snow onto another dude's driveway?
Onto his lawn.
Onto his lawn.
Yeah.
And he, they were at war.
Yeah, this has been removed from Twitter now, if you're trying to find it, by
the way.
And it's a video of the guy, and they're calling him, it's a couple, and they're
like, what are you going to do, pussy?
And it's like a scene from Fargo.
I don't know, because it's snowing, and it's just blanketed with snow.
And then the guy comes out of his house.
The guy that they, the couple is shoveling the snow on his lawn.
They're calling him pussy.
What are you going to do, pussy?
We're going to make your life a living hell.
We're going to make your life a living hell.
Yeah.
I mean, what a, you know, when you say something like that, it gets to people.
When you choose those words, we're going to make your life a living hell.
And he leaves his house, shoots them both in the street.
They're crawling around in the street.
Then he goes back into his house.
What does he get, an AK-47?
AR-15.
AR-15.
He comes back out, and he looks at the woman.
And this is where I, even as I talk about it, it's creepy.
You're watching the end of somebody's life.
He looks at her, and he goes, you should have kept your mouth shut.
And then he shoots her in the head, and then he goes and shoots the husband.
It was so viscerally disturbing, and I'm usually not disturbed.
I usually don't watch executions all the time, but I've seen things, and I'm
still, this video,
for whatever reason, lodged in my head.
And it's because I'm horrified watching it.
You get a bad feeling.
From the moment the video begins playing, you know something very bad is going
to happen.
It's eerie.
Usually you don't feel that, but from the minute it starts playing, you go,
this isn't something fun.
This doesn't end in a fun, this isn't a snowball fight.
There's something about, I don't know what it is, but there's an energy there.
You go, you know this is going to go off the rails, but you don't know how bad
it's going to be.
And then when he comes out and he shoots them both and goes back in, gets an AR,
then comes back out and shoots her.
And here's the thing, and then he kills himself, right?
Goes back inside, the cops come, he blows his head off, yeah.
And here's the thing, right?
You watch this guy shoot a woman point blank in the face in the middle of a
street with an AR-15.
And right before he shoots her, he says to her, he goes, you should have kept
your mouth shut.
And you're watching it.
And it's so horrifying.
But, now, now I have to be delicate here.
But, three little letters, what a word.
But, she should have kept her mouth shut.
And the last things she's going to hear on this earth is the greatest lesson
she'll ever learn.
And it's sad that it had to be that way.
I'm not condoning his actions.
But there's something about shooting someone point blank in the face and
delivering a message that they need to hear.
But, it's tough to watch.
You can probably find it on the dark web or something.
It's floating around.
You don't even have to go to the dark web.
It's tough to watch.
I don't even know where Ben finds these things.
I don't know what he even does.
I don't know what he does with his time.
When he's not with me, I don't know what he does.
He just sits in his garage and watching people murder each other.
What is wrong with him?
But, I felt bad that it ended the way it did where everybody died.
But, I did feel that that woman needed to hear, and her husband, it's not about
gender, that that woman needed to hear those words.
And it's sad that after that he shot a point blank in the face with the AR.
But, it's hard because you watch it and you just, you watch the video and you
go, you know, well, number one, how's the quarantine working out for everyone?
Because, this probably, this might have happened before the pandemic or before
this, you know, whatever.
It is a pandemic, but I mean before this shutdown.
I don't know.
This last year has sent people to the edge, to the brink.
And when you watch this, you go, yeah, this seems to be something that is the
result of people being pushed to their breaking point.
And he broke, and he shot this woman and her husband.
Watching them crawl around on the snow is so rattling.
It's disturbing.
Watching them crawl around.
For a good 60 seconds.
They crawl around on the snow.
Watching that is really, really disturbing.
But, but, but, but, but, they were being very antagonistic.
They were.
This is the thing.
It's, you, it, it, they're saying to the guy, you're going to make your life a
living hell, call him pussy, pussy, what are you going to do, what are you
going to do?
And he just had it.
I'm not saying I enjoyed watching it.
It disturbed me.
I've covered that.
But what I'm saying is that it's very difficult to not understand a fraction of
the man's anger.
He did not handle it in a productive way.
You know, I was taken back by the, like, I've watched it.
I've watched videos that are similar to that before.
Never that I found.
Like, this freak.
But people show me shit.
I go, look at this.
I go, ugh.
You know, and, and this really took up mental residence in my mind.
Because it was just this snowy, bleak day in Philly.
And people, it was just hatred on display.
Like a scene out of Fargo, like the end of Fargo.
It was rough to watch.
It made me deeply sad, truly, about the future of humanity and about the
effects that this period has had on everybody.
But I did like seeing that woman get shot in the face.
Because, because sometimes you do want to shoot somebody in the face, point
blank.
And when he looks at her, he goes, you should have kept your mouth shut.
And she knows what's coming.
And she knows she pushed the wrong person.
And she's laying in the snow, about to get shot in the head.
This, this episode will get lighter.
But as she's about to get shot in the head, she's laying in the street.
Probably what went through her mind is, I should have kept my mouth shut.
Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut.
And it's, hey, sad all around.
Not advocating it.
Wouldn't do it.
Wouldn't advise it.
Tough to watch.
Not good.
Don't go look for the video.
It will be disturbing.
Unless you're into that.
In which case, it's great.
If you're into it, don't get into it.
Don't be that guy.
Unless this is how you come.
And try not to be that guy either.
What were your feelings on the video?
Because you're the one who fucking brought it into my life.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
No, I mean, I, I think I've, I think I've been quite clear here.
It was a little, it was a mixed bag.
It's like this weird, like Norman Rockwell scene where it's just a couple
shoveling their snow.
And then all of a sudden, like within 30 seconds, they're both laying in a pool
of their own blood.
It's just, I mean, it's horrific.
It's a horrific thing.
All caught on the, the, by the way, the videos from a, one of those doorbells.
Like a ring cam?
A ring cam, yeah.
And then, you know, halfway through it too, their autistic son runs out, the
couple, to check on them.
And then when he sees him coming back in with the AR-15, he runs off.
And then that's when he does the execution shots.
So there's like a whole scene developing there of them trying to help the mom
and, him trying to help his mom and dad.
And then the guy just comes back out and does the deed.
Well, I'll tell you one thing.
That kid's not going to step out of line.
You know, you want to talk about a polite kid?
You want to talk about a polite kid?
I watched my mother get shot in a grill for running her fat mouth.
And I've learned to just let it happen.
Let life happen.
And I feel bad for him.
And I feel bad for everyone involved here.
But is there any better way to ensure that somebody is going to be, you know, a
little passive?
I mean, by the way, those parents were no great shakes for that kid.
I'm not saying they should have been executed in front of him.
But they were not, that was not going to be a great life with them.
You know?
Maybe there's family.
Maybe the grandparents took him in.
I read in the article.
Better situation.
Better situation.
Do you think in that woman's high school yearbook, she was voted most likely to
get shot in the face outside of her house while shoveling snow?
Because that should be a new category in Philly high school yearbooks.
It should be most likely to get shot point blank range by an AR-15 by an angry
neighbor who you are harassing.
It would be so much easier to feel bad for them if they weren't like, pussy,
what are you going to do, pussy?
That was their whole thing.
They were like, what are you going to do?
You're going to do something about it.
You know?
They were just like, do something about it, do something about it, do something
about it.
And then finally the guy stabbed.
What's interesting is he shot them both.
He comes out with what, a handgun?
Yeah, with a nine millimeter.
And he shoots them and goes, that's not enough.
And you watch the guy crawl into the garage.
Again, very disturbing.
And then he goes back in the house.
And you think the video's ending because she's like, call the cops.
Right.
And you think, oh, the video's ending.
And I got to be honest, as a video, as a piece of media, as media, it's
disappointing because it doesn't feel like there's closure.
I'm being very honest.
The guy crawls into the garage and then the woman's like, call the cop.
And she's still being annoying.
Right.
She's shot and in the street and still pushing everybody's buttons.
And you're like, you know, this is, needs a resolution.
And then he comes out with the AR and a part of you goes, oh, no.
But then a part of you perks up because you go, just a second ago, I said there
was not going to be a resolution here.
Now, I think there might be.
Ooh, and there is.
And there's something about the final words.
There really is.
And again, if you know these people, I mean, you know, sorry.
There's something about the final words.
You should have kept your mouth shut.
He goes, you should have kept your mouth shut.
He says that to her.
And 