Name: #264 - Time Is A Fat Circle | The Tim Dillon Show
Uploaded: 2021-08-15T04:00:27.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '#264 - Time Is A Fat Circle | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '#264 - Time Is A Fat Circle | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-15. Transcript available.

#264 - Time Is A Fat Circle | The Tim Dillon Show

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. I'm here joined by an old
friend of the program,
podcaster, hilarious person, Ray Kump is with us.
Hello, thank you for having me.
Thank you.
Getting over COVID-19, baby, I finally got it.
Did you eat a pangolin?
I don't know how I got it, but I just, it was probably just because everybody I
know has it.
Everyone in LA has it.
But you're vaccinated.
So it's helping you.
I mean, you know what's so funny is you could tell that no one has any trust in
the vaccine
because as soon as you tell people you have it, they're like, oh my God.
Oh my God.
And I'm like, well, I'm vaccinated.
I'm supposed to be okay, right?
They're like, dude, be careful.
Literally people would text me.
They're like, be careful.
I'm like, and these are the same people that were like, you've got to get faxed.
As soon as you get it, they're like, how long do you have?
Yeah.
They're like, it's my aunt's texting me.
She's like, it's scary.
It's very scary.
I'm like, I thought the whole idea was that you got the vaccine so that you,
you wouldn't,
you wouldn't be inundated with texts.
It's like, are your affairs in order?
No one wants, people are addicted to the death drama now.
Yes.
No one, we can't go back.
We're not going to go back to like, you know, occasionally someone dies and we
just live our
lives.
If people don't have a death every day to talk about or someone dying or
someone in the hospital,
they're going to lose their minds.
It gives their lives meaning.
Yeah.
It gives their life culture now.
Yeah.
It's a death culture.
It's a good point.
And what's interesting about having this is it is, you know, you worry some,
you know,
you try to stay off the internet when you have it.
Right.
Because there's always like a case.
There'll always be something to read about where you go.
Oh, fuck.
You know?
Right.
There's always someone who's died of everything, like everything out there you
could die of.
Someone has.
Right.
And what's interesting about COVID now is people act like it's the only thing
killing
people in America.
Right?
Like it's the only thing.
This is a country, okay, that has mass shootings, an insanely high homicide
rate, an opioid crisis,
school shootings all the time, insane rates of cancer, heart disease, all kinds
of problems,
suicide, PTSD, untreated mental illness, horrible roads, traffic accidents.
But people act like COVID is just the only danger out there.
Cops are fighting hookers with like their throats cut going, COVID's getting
nasty.
Which variant is this?
Yeah.
Which variant is this where I shoot an innocent black guy in a 7-Eleven parking
lot?
What variant is that?
I don't know.
So I went and I got this monoclonal antibody infusion, which really helps.
It's the same thing they gave to Trump.
Right.
And, you know, being bigger.
Now I'm going to try to really lose weight now because this is not going
anywhere, COVID,
clearly.
And it's just going to be around.
If we survive COVID, why lose the weight?
Well, I just think it's still, it's a better idea.
I got to prepare for whatever the next variant is going to be.
Sure.
The next variant is going to be like this.
It's going to be hilarious.
They're going to be like, not only does the vaccine not help the next variant,
it hurts.
They're going to be like, are you vaccinated?
Well, then the next variant is going to fuck you up.
Watch the fuck out.
Right.
So I went and I got this monoclonal antibody infusion.
It's made by a company called Regeneron, which is the thing that Trump got.
Now, I don't know why it's not widely available.
It is kind of like a miracle drug.
I feel much better in under 48 hours.
Really, I felt better in 24 hours.
I mean, it's hard to mass produce when you're based out of Argentina using old
Nazi science.
Right.
Well, but what's good about Texas is all the doctors here are queuing on.
So they'll literally, they'll do anything, right?
Like when I went in, the doctor's like, did you get vaccinated?
I was like, yeah.
He was like, all right.
Like he wasn't like good for you or he goes, ah, all right.
And then he goes like this.
He goes, you want some ivermectin?
And I went, well, I don't know.
And he goes, how about this?
He calls me up.
He goes, why don't you go to a website?
It's going to tell you all about the ivermectin.
He didn't even say, like, he didn't say what ivermectin is.
He just like, he goes, like, he's like, watch the trailer.
Yeah.
He's like, have you seen Zeitgeist?
Uh, no, he, he, he goes, he calls me.
He goes, how are you doing after the antibodies?
I said, good.
Uh, he goes, okay.
He goes, you want some ivermectin?
And I went, well, I don't really know.
I'm like, I don't know that I need it.
I feel better.
He goes, listen, just go to this website and it'll tell you all about it.
He goes, these doctors, he goes, they're highly peer reviewed.
He goes, they're well published.
He goes, they're well known.
And he goes, so I go to the website and, and I'm not saying anything about ivermectin.
I'm sure it has success and the people that believe it or whatever, but like
Brett Weinstein's
being interviewed on this website.
Brett Weinstein's not a doctor though.
He's not a doctor.
He's a, he's perhaps a doctor of something, but whatever.
He's like not a doctor.
So it's very interesting.
Like what?
So I'm looking at a YouTube link.
It's, if you want to take ivermectin.
Linkin bio.
Yeah, no, it's, it's literally a fucking, I forget what it's called.
It's called, it's like the COVID coalition or something.
Oh, that's, I forget the name of it.
I, I wish I had the name of it.
Right.
And it's like the, um, let me try to find it.
And, uh, it's a website where they just have all these different.
It's Gary V on there.
Okay.
It's called COVIDcriticalcare.com.
FLCCC Alliance, frontline COVID-19 critical care Alliance.
We thank you for your continued support.
This is starting to remind me of the mortgage crisis.
So if you go to this, it just is like a bunch of interviews with people.
And one of them is Dr. Pierre Corey and Paul Marek discuss this impression of
good science
and more with Brett Weinstein.
Dr. Corey on how ivermectin defeats the variants, blah, blah, blah.
So it's just so funny.
I was like, okay, I'd never been told by a doctor before to go to a website.
You know why though?
It's because when the trial happens and it's like, and so you advise Mr. Dillon
to take ivermectin.
No, you're no, uh, actually to clarify, I sent him to a website.
He made his own decisions.
There's no, there's no doctor advice going on.
It's like he's selling you a speedball.
Yeah.
The doctor calls me and goes, listen, uh, we've had a lot of success with a new
drug.
Have you heard of the compound media network?
I want you to log on to compound media.
And, uh, I mean, listen, maybe it works.
I don't know.
But I, I mean, I, I feel better.
My oxygen levels are good.
I walk, walking two or three miles a day.
Um, did you take the ivermectin?
No, I have a script for it.
I picked it up.
I was like, Hey, if I, if I felt bad, I was going to take it.
Right.
It's like seven pills a day or something.
That's, that's a lot of pills.
It's a lot of pills.
Um, but I made it through, but you, you've never had this as far as you know.
COVID?
No, I'm, I'm, I'm a, I'm a very healthy man.
And I've managed to keep it, uh, keep it at bay with my, uh, physical acumen.
Well, and you don't leave your home.
I leave occasionally.
I mean, I go out to dinner.
I go to the movies.
I've seen four or five movies since they reopened.
How 1950s of you, you're like, I go to the dinner.
I go to the movies, you know, I walk around and, and yeah, my girlfriend, uh,
Lucy, she
walks, you know, she leaves the house a lot.
So, you know, if she caught it, I would get it.
So, you know, I mean, it's, uh, I think it's not, it's not tearing through New
York at
the moment, but yeah, I'm sure it will at some point.
Yeah.
Again, the doctor calls me back and he goes, I want you to watch a documentary.
Sit down.
Just sit down.
Do you know that Jesus, that Jesus is actually based on the Sumerian myth?
Anyway, take this pill.
Do you know that Jesus was based on Horace?
Do you know that?
Oh, interesting.
That's very interesting.
I'm like, can you take my blood pressure?
He goes, sit down, sit down and relax for a little bit.
Okay.
You know, our money's not backed by gold.
Did you know that?
It's backed by nothing.
You understand?
It's like, hey, what's, what, what are my, uh, what are my platelets, uh, count
look like?
Oh, uh, you know, debt is slavery.
I'm a Bitcoin maximalist.
You know, it's the only way to keep the government in check.
I'm like, I understand.
Is my oxygen good?
Is it above 95?
How, what, what's the?
Thermite paint.
It's also some of these doctors in Texas, you go, where did you go to school?
Like, cause some of them go to like Texas Christian Academy of Jesus, you know?
Well, the weird thing is like, don't a lot of them go over, like, I know like
when people
come from other countries, they like can't, their medical license can't
transfer for some
reason, but like, aren't a lot of those guys, don't they go down to like South
America
to get their licenses a lot of the times?
Isn't there a thing that they go to Brazil or they go to like, is that true?
I didn't know that.
I don't know.
Or like, or like some, I think there's like, I think there's like med schools
in the Cayman
Islands that like some of these guys go to.
Oh my God.
Next to the banks that like, you know, fund all the money.
I mean, listen, I'm happy though.
I got the antibody infusion.
Like, I am glad that they were like, let's throw everything at it.
Yeah.
No one's taking chances with you.
No one, no one thinks you're fighting it off on your own.
That's not true.
I'm white.
This is disproportionately affecting people that are non-white.
They don't get the blood of the children injected into them like you did.
Well, I was given it because it's given, there is a group in Texas called the
Society for
the Preservation of White Men.
And that's who, that's literally, I'm not even kidding.
That's who gave me the infusion.
That's who paid for it.
What?
That's who paid for the infusion.
I swear to you.
What?
Why?
It's, it's, it's about preserving European heritage.
Um, that sounds sketchy.
Is it?
A little bit.
I'm not sure what we're getting at here.
That's the reason I was able to get this.
It said to preserve the lineage of Europeans.
I mean, is, are you really what they want to preserve?
This is what, this is, I don't, I don't ask, you know, I don't ask, um, what's
going on
in, uh, in New York?
Um, you know, it's, it's, it's fine.
I mean, there's a lot more, uh, homeless under the overpasses now, but you know,
they
got to go somewhere.
So you have a camp now under like on Meeker Avenue, uh, that that's the biggest
difference
I see.
Um, I get people just walking around.
Some of them have masks, some don't, everyone's just kind of living their, uh,
living their
best life.
Yeah.
I haven't gotten stabbed yet.
No, I mean, you know, it's gonna, it's gonna take a while for this shit to
write itself.
It's very weird.
And, um, it's a very strange fucking time, uh, to do anything.
Um, you know, or to plan anything, you know, I mean, I know that a lot of
people have tour.
I have a tour.
I I'm pretty sure the tours are going to be okay.
I think they'll just, you know, basically, uh, start requiring the vaccine
everywhere as
opposed to shutting things down.
Right.
That seems to be the direction things are heading in.
Otherwise, I have to get my Excelsior pass.
What is that?
And the Excelsior pass is your proof, I guess, that you have the vaccine and
you'll need that
to get into clubs and, uh, restaurants.
Uh, because I'm a man about town, so I'm going to need my Excelsior pass.
How are they going to keep track of all this?
Like, who is going to be checking this?
Some goon?
Yeah.
So, well, look, the same guy who fucking checks my ID to go into some shitty
bar and it's like,