Name: #275 - Cool Mom! | The Tim Dillon Show
Uploaded: 2021-10-31T04:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '#275 - Cool Mom! | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '#275 - Cool Mom! | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-31. Transcript available.

#275 - Cool Mom! | The Tim Dillon Show

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. Take a look at this.
I have a hot take. I have a hot take. I actually like candy corn.
I do too!
I'm too scared to say it!
A little pumpkin!
Me too!
That's so funny. I'm too scared to say it.
You're also dressed like a candy corn.
It's so controversial to say these days.
If you say that you like candy corn, people will walk away.
It's so funny. I just said that yesterday and I was like,
it tastes like buttery syrup to me.
Like Mrs. Buttersworth.
Melts in your mouth and has like a little crust on the outside.
Dude, I'm not kidding.
I wrote out a tweet that said, guys, I kind of like candy corn and I deleted it.
Or I backspaced on it because I was like too controversial.
Canceled!
I was like, not anymore.
Oh my God, please stop that.
Not anymore.
Please stop that.
Don't you see my point now that if Chrissy Teigen was eating children,
it would be the coolest thing about her.
Like, don't you get it now?
Don't you understand that a lot of this QAnon shit makes these people look
cooler than they are?
Like, oh yeah, she's some like high priestess of the satanic religion.
She's like a dumb trash bitch who somehow figured out a way to get famous.
And she's sitting here with Whitney talking about candy corn.
And I mean, you know, God bless Whitney.
That Wendy Williams, what a woof.
That was a big disaster that week.
And we love Whitney.
But that week was a very large disaster.
Whitney subbing in for Wendy Williams, who's, I believe, in rehab or something.
Something like that, yeah.
Or, and I don't, if she's not in rehab, I don't want to say she's in rehab.
And mental health relief.
Let me double check on that.
Whatever's going on with her, we wish her well.
And DeStefano went on there and he had a rough go of it.
Yeah.
It's not an audience for comedy.
They don't really want jokes.
They want Wendy Williams, which, who is hilarious.
And you can't compete with Wendy Williams.
Just like the SNL audience, they don't really want comedy.
They want to hear stuff and they want to go, yeah.
Like they want to like, like energetically agree.
And they want, it's like a pep rally.
It's just like a pep rally for people that like are not doing good and feel
upset and got
free tickets to a show and they want to get like, you know, pumped up.
That's what it is.
What is this?
I want to talk about this, this cool mom who's going to jail because I hate
that.
I hate when a rat implicates a cool mom.
Everybody knows that when you were in high school, you were in this weird in
between, between
being a child and being an adult.
You got to learn how to be an adult and learning how to be an adult involves
drinking, using
drugs and having sex.
And a lot of times you need like a safe environment or sometimes an unsafe
environment to do all
of those things.
That's where the cool mom is, you know, becomes a thing.
Kathy Griffin used to talk about this, like how Lindsay Lohan's mom, Dina Lohan
was like,
you know, one of the moms that would like, you know, do coke with the kids and
stuff, you
know?
But, you know, we had families like that.
We had a woman when I grew up who had like a, you know, a big eye, one big eye
and sold
us all drugs.
And we, we loved her because it's in, someone's got to treat you like an adult.
This is my point.
Somebody has got to treat you like an adult, even when you are undeserving of
being treated
like an adult.
This woman had the goal, the unmitigated goal to treat children like adults.
Kids that are raging hormones that need a place to do drugs and fuck each other
safely in a
wealthy suburban home.
This woman provided a, what, a 6,000 square foot house?
Big.
Yeah.
A huge house with many different rooms and alcoves and places to go.
And she created this environment where cool kids or kids that were in the group
were able
to go and get really drunk, test their limits, find out how much booze was too
much booze.
How are you supposed to learn this before you go to college and you look like
an idiot?
You have to learn it.
In high school, you have to learn how much booze is too much booze.
What do you, what, what drugs agree with your system?
What drugs don't, you know?
And what she did was, was create a vibe.
Truly.
And, and she threatened a few people because cool moms, bad-ass bitches like
this woman have
to threaten the weak because the weak are would-be rats who ruin it for
everybody.
And I mean, let's get into this story a little bit because as soon as I read it,
I knew that
a great injustice had been done.
And one of the things that you know about me is I feel comedy is a way to
correct all
the injustices of the world.
That's the way I feel.
I don't think it is funny or should be funny.
I think it should be about injustices and just to discuss trans people from any
angle.
Pro, against, confused.
And you know that the Democrats are new doing, they're now doing the bill, that
Joe Manchin
and Kristen Sinema, they're going forward with the bipartisan infrastructure
bill and they're
carving out money so that Dave Chappelle does five more specials all about
trans people.
And I thought it was a good compromise.
I like that.
Quote here, glad she's gone.
Los Gatos reels after mom arrested for drunken teen sex parties.
Shannon O'Connor was known as the cruel, the cool but creepy mom.
Read some of this, Ben, because I read this, I was incensed and enraged.
And I don't really have an infrastructure to go and try to help this woman.
But if I did, I really would.
So O'Connor is now facing 39 criminal charges, including 12 felony counts of
child endangerment.
This is more than Bin Laden.
This is more than Osama Bin Laden would have faced.
By the way, all of the people who've done all of the things, the destroying of
people's property,
the burning down of small businesses, nobody's like facing anything.
This woman is facing 39 criminal charges, 12 felony counts of child endangerment
for, quote,
allegedly applying teens with alcohol, getting them drunk to the point of
vomiting and encouraging
them to have sex.
You know what that used to be called?
Being cool.
What the fuck?
It used to be called being cool.
She's not fucking the kids.
She's not watching them fuck.
She doesn't have a Jeffrey Epstein-style surveillance system.
Right?
Right.
From what I understand, she's simply creating the conditions, facilitating what
may happen
anyway.
Maybe she's lighting a fire under a few of their asses to get it going.
And she's being charged with, I knew parents back in the day who would buy us
alcohol.
My grandmother would buy us a bottle of vodka when we were in senior year.
What is going on here?
What are you supposed to do at a high school party?
You're supposed to get drunk.
If you're not drinking at a high school party, you're planning a school
shooting.
What is wrong?
It's like the craziest thing I've ever heard.
This woman is being treated.
Now, she did chase down one of the girls and threaten her in the car.
But again, you have to keep a tight circle.
And this is the thing that I, there was one kid we used to hang out with where
his parents,
if there was a fight at the party, like his mother would start beating people.
And she'd start, like, there was a kid on the ground, she was kicking them.
They have to defend their homestead.
Because when you decide to be the parents that allow debauchery and that type
of thing to
go on, when you allow parties, when you allow fun, when you make room for fun,
when you open
the door to a good damn time, people will threaten it.
Outsiders come in, they get too drunk, they disrespect you, they threaten a rat,
and you
got to control them physically.
Many a time have I seen fights where, like, the parents just get involved
because they
have to defend their home.
The arrest comes a year after a number of Los Gatos high school students
started a, quote,
Me Too, Los Gatos movement.
Can you imagine this?
Can you imagine this, by the way?
High school students started a Me Too, Los Gatos movement complaining about,
quote, rape culture
at the school and staging a rally on campus.
At the time, school officials said they could do little but contact local
police about activities
off campus, which they said they did in the O'Connor case when a parent
complained.
O'Connor, 47, was arrested in Idaho.
A message left on her cell phone Wednesday afternoon was not returned.
She and her husband, tech executive Robert Amaral, put their $4.7 million home
on sale, right,
to move to Idaho with O'Connor and her three sons.
She's got three kids, a 15-year-old and a 13-year-old middle schooler.
And I think it was a 15-year-old and his friends that she was, which is a
little young.
It is a little, in the defense of the people maybe overreacting, 15 is a little
young.
17, senior year is a little bit more appropriate, but we had some fun junior
year, too.
But, and I guess when you start junior year, you are 15.
Okay, so she would go on Snapchat and talk to the kids and get them all to come
to their house
and get boozed up and, fuck, this is what she did.
And people have a problem with this.
I mean, again, doesn't, don't people realize, one sophomore girl goes,
I'm glad she's gone, it makes me feel safer.
She purchased alcohol of the teenager's choosing.
How cool is that?
And encouraged them to have sex in her home, in a rented beach house in Santa
Cruz,
and in a cabin in Lake Tahoe.
Jesus Christ!
You kids don't know how good you have it!
Don't you know that this is never going to happen again?
Nobody's ever going to buy you the alcohol you want and say,
come fuck in Lake Tahoe on my dime.
It will never happen again.
Yes, this bitch had some freak shit going on.
Yes, probably there was something wrong.
I don't know.
I'm not a doctor.
But just looking at this, if somebody says, come fuck in my beach house in
Santa Cruz,
and I'll get you fucking lubed up with the booze of your choice,
I'm telling you right now, I know it's offensive and horrible,
but wait a few years, you're going to be dying.
These same puritanical monster children are going to be at college with their pussies
hanging out of a window,
trying to get fucked, and they're assholes and dicks.
I'm not gendering this.
But these same kids in a few years are just going to be,
they're going to be dying to fuck in a beach house in Santa Cruz.
Now, I do understand the concern here that the parents, I get it,
because it's like, is she fucking the kid?
It is weird, because why is she so into it?
Which is weird.
I get it.
I understand that.
But I'm talking really more to the kids now.
If you're a parent and you're freaked out about this, I totally understand.
But to the kids right now, you're kind of being bitches about this.
Truly.
So, in one case, when a girl was so drunk, she passed in and out of
consciousness in a bedroom.
O'Connor brought in a teenage boy who sexually assaulted her while the girl
cried.
Okay, well, now this isn't good.
I don't read the whole article before I do the show.
I don't really do the whole thing.
I do cliff notes.
You know what I mean?
I don't go in and I'm, am I a prosecutor?
Am I a lawyer?
Do you think I'm a lawyer?
So, now this isn't good, but this is the first I'm hearing of this.
And the girl says, quote, why did you leave me in there with him?
The girl later asked O'Connor, the complaint said, like, why, like, why did you
do that?
You knew, like, what he was going to do with me.
First of all, too many likes.
I'm not saying it deserves sexual assault, but way too many likes.
O'Connor just laughed.
It's unclear whether any of the boys who are juveniles will face any penalty.
Some of the teenagers were so drunk they told authorities that one nearly
drowned in a hot tub and another in a bathtub.
But that's funny.
Now, the rape is not.
But I don't know.
Here's the thing.
That's one boy suffered a concussion when he fell off the back of O'Connor's
car.
She had been driving the boys around while they were drinking and allowed her
son to drive in the school parking 