Name: #288 - The Real Housewives of Cotino | The Tim Dillon Show
Uploaded: 2022-02-20T05:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '#288 - The Real Housewives of Cotino | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '#288 - The Real Housewives of Cotino | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-20. Transcript available.

#288 - The Real Housewives of Cotino | The Tim Dillon Show

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the tim dylan show a lot of fun we're gonna
have this episode
uh a lot of fun but first let's do some housekeeping i'm going to be the ridgefield
playhouse on february 25th i believe yeah in ridgefield connecticut if you want
to grab your
tickets to that small room intimate show about 500 seats we're going to see um
half of them sold out
today when we announce and then hopefully we'll get to a second show uh up
there as well our friend
janice papas may stop by and do some guest spots he lives right in that area so
that should be a lot
of fun prince andrew friend of the show uh settled a sexual uh what was it misconduct
lawsuit civil
sex case civil sex case now you know prince andrew friend of uh jeffrey epstein
uh jeffrey epstein
and jislaine maxwell named in uh this lawsuit uh with virginia guffrey guffrey
who claimed she was
forced to have sex with him forced uh to have sex with him on three occasions
in 2001 after being
trafficked by his pedophile pal jeffrey epstein and jislaine maxwell and it was
the result of intense
negotiations between both sides that were finalized on monday a source with
knowledge of the complex deal
suggested it was only after andrew was able to provide proof that the remaining
funds would be
available from the 17 million dollar sale of a swiss chalet he owned with his
former wife sarah ferguson
you know what i say to virginia uh guffrey get that money baby a lot of people
might be angry at her
because they want to see this guy you know you they want to see him in jail but
these people she
doesn't owe you anything she's a trafficking victim and listen she went through
hell and however she
decides to deal with it is uh how she and the queen is giving her money queen
elizabeth to the sex
abuse charity so it's like it's into a sex abuse charity what's the queen's
name is it elizabeth elizabeth
yeah queen elizabeth donating money to the i mean you know that's coming up at
christmas
when she talks to prince andrew and are donated two million dollars to a
charity because of your behavior
so you know that's going down um a royal source said quote she cannot be seen
making a
payment to a victim of sexual assault who accused her son of being an abuser
but a deal was structured
in such a way to arrange a sizable financial contribution to the settlement by
way of a
charitable donation instead so everything's over now covet's over epstein's
over you got to get a new
script everything is over whatever you want to talk about is done there was no
reckoning there was no
bomb that went off there was no explosion q anon was fake nothing happened
nobody went to jail they didn't
open up gitmo nobody got locked up nothing happened all your q anon influencers
have moved on to the
vaccine they're going to move on from that in a few months too trust me uh it's
you know there is no
season finale that anybody was happy with and this will be the final story of
this case which again
was a pretty earth shattering case that there was an island in this which now
everyone's bored of it
already and everyone's like whatever but let's just because we're not going to
talk about i get flack
people go we want more and i go there's nothing left we've picked it all off
the bone there's nothing here
but just a fun recap as we leave uh the topic for a while unless there's
something new there was an
island in the south pacific owned by a guy who is a billionaire pedophile and
people would go to it to
kids on the island and those people uh were uh running the world that's all
proven
that's all real and proven and this will be the final story that uh this weird
kind of guy prince
andrew who seems a little he's on the spectrum uh neurodivergent um is uh you
know paying this
woman some money who went through hell and was trafficked by jeffrey and jis
lane she's laying i guess
will just be in jail until they kill her or whatever however they're gonna deal
with her but it's over and
i mean there again there there was no real uh resolution as there wasn't going
to be i mean
just lane maxwell they'll sacrifice her she'll end up in jail and they'll
either get rid of her or
whatever is going to happen is going to happen but again this wasn't going to
bring down like all the
dominoes were not going to fall here i mean that's pretty obvious to everyone
now this is seemingly the
final story this reminds me of coven now it's like it's like they're taking the
last mask you know
they're gonna take the mask off the last kid at gym and they'll be like and
done and they throw it in
the garbage run free run free and breathe now sorry we masked you for two years
outside seems insane
run free so this is what it is now i mean blackmail is gone i guess pretty
digital i'm sure that you'll
still see a honeypot here and there but this is the uh this is it and they'll
they'll sell that island
they'll flip that island to somebody else who'll do the same thing on it
probably what is that island
suited for what are you gonna do blackrock which is uh the the what's amazing
to me now is the uh
the and we've been following this i spoke to mullen about it when i was in new
york and he made some
great points about corporate landlords just owning everything in america
individual landlords uh
disappearing people not having to pay their rent so then a lot of these
landlords have to sell their
properties and then um you know who comes in and buys them blackrock blackrock
or blackstone same thing
right um blackstone buys 12 000 uh sunbelt apartments for 5.8 billion dollars
um this is from zero hedge
wall street won't rest until it becomes the biggest and perhaps only landlord
in the us on wednesday
blackstone cemented its position as america's largest residential and
commercial landlord by buying uh
apartment owner preferred apartment communities in a deal valued at 5.8 billion
demonstrating the
unstoppable investor demand for multi-family i.e rental properties in sunbelt
states according to wall street
journal blackstone will pay 25 a share in cash for the atlanta-based real
estate investment trust
that represents a premium of roughly 39 percent over the closing price on february
the 9th the day uh
before bloomberg news reported the reit was exploring options including a sale
so the deal includes more
than 40 uh rental apartment properties including 12 000 units in states uh
including florida tennessee
and georgia that's what they mean by sunbelt preferred apartment also owns 54
grocery anchored shopping
centers anchored by grocery stores probably like public's about 70 percent of
the deal's value is in its rental
apartments wow so black stone now they're ramping up its bet on u.s rental
housing blackstone i want
you to think about this is fun we like we like we like to read the article and
go huh why is this this
keeps falling down here i keep i keep adjusting this and it doesn't matter it
just keeps um so listen to
this blackstone has been aggressively ramping up its bet on u.s rental housing
the firm has agreed to buy
two other companies that own apartments in the past two months building up its
presence in states including
colorado texas arizona and georgia well what do they mean by that ramping up
its bet on u.s rental housing
well they're betting and they're correct that people are not gonna be able to
own homes or that more people
in the future are going to rent this is their bet and they're probably correct
because the cost of
home ownership in this country is i mean ludicrous especially in places where
you'd want to live
so companies like blackstone go listen the future is going to be the gig
economy
where you have people that hop from gig to gig and they're going to be
permanent renters
and that's what it's going to be they're not going to own property they may not
even own a car
they're going to use services like uber and lyft and they're going to rent an
apartment
they're not going to own much of anything and according to that article you're
going to love
it you're going to be happy and you know the american dream is is is uh turning
from home ownership and
family to something else entirely it's really what it's becoming it used to be
the american dream as
as stated now you know the how possible it was and you know whether it was
legit then certainly more
legit seeming than now yes of course it didn't include every but what about non-binary
poets
i know yes i know that that's i under yes thank you they were left out
but the american dream it was a family and property kind of right community
based on those things family
property you own property you have a family you're in a community there's
industry the community
thrives everybody kind of succeeds together fails together there's a an
investment there are social
commitments things are more local now things are global you don't have a family
everybody lives in a city everybody's alone
everybody's on only fans flicking their bean everybody's taking multiple pills
just to get out
of bed in the morning and then another round of pills just to get back into bed
at night
people are severed from their community they're severed from any social
commitments the only communities
they're a part of our digital communities that are incredibly toxic that are
centered around overthrowing
the government or owning a picture of an ape but life has changed the american
dream has changed
and blackstone gets this they know where we're going they're not dummies they
can see it they
go how the hell they can afford this they're gonna rent and they'll be happy to
do it
people go why do i need a home i don't have a family
you gotta what do i need a home you know i have houses and i don't really need
houses my they're good investments and i like houses and i certainly have
friends over but i don't
i don't need a house because i don't have a family so i don't need a house but
i guess nobody needs
anything but the reason to have it like ben and his wife always remind me that
i don't need
a home they always go you don't need to live in a house you don't have a family
because they're heterosexuals so they're gonna have a family so it means they
deserve a house
so i should give my house to them i have multiple homes i should give them all
to them
but that's the point because i don't need it as a gay guy who's single i don't
need square footage
i don't need space i'm to give it to them uh well no they can get it they can
get their own
but i'm always constantly told i don't need a house and they're they're they're
they're right to that
to an extent because i don't have a family but that is why most people buy
houses so as families
um you know family formation is low and it's happening later in life people
just don't need
to buy houses now you've brought up an interesting chart here the national rent
index up 18 year over
year why don't you tell the people about this chart that you've brought up so
it's why are you laughing
i didn't i didn't ever say you didn't you know you and your wife have
constantly
i've never said that you've constantly if a house is like seven bedrooms before
i'm like i don't think
you need seven badge i think i've said that but i don't think i've said but it's
it's because yes it
is you've made me feel bad for being gay and you've said that gay people don't
deserve homes well gay
people a lot of us have more money than you as a straight person because if you
didn't meet me you'd
be working uh tilling the land i don't know what the hell you'd be doing but
gay people have higher than
average incomes in their creative but you're telling what if i want to adopt
kids what if i want to adopt
uh uh children i'm i'm for that to fill the rooms buy the space and and fill
fill the rooms now if
i adopted a child would i could you get it for me and figure it out yeah it's a
long process though
you need lawyers how involved do i have to be i read a book about it it's a
pretty why did you read
a book about it it was in a you read a book about gay adoption no