Name: #290 - Let's Take A Beat | The Tim Dillon Show
Uploaded: 2022-03-06T02:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '#290 - Let's Take A Beat | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '#290 - Let's Take A Beat | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-06. Transcript available.

#290 - Let's Take A Beat | The Tim Dillon Show

Ladies and gentlemen, sorry, we had a Han Dynasty Chinese food, and it's spicy,
and Ben loves Chinese food.
It's his favorite kind of food. It makes him feel. Very few things do.
And you would say it's your favorite food by far. Is Thai food more than
Chinese food?
I would say it's Chinese and then Japanese kind of in a Thai right there.
Interesting. It's all East Coast.
I mean, Eastern.
Eastern world, yes.
Phenomenal. That's great. I like Chinese. I don't, you know, I mean, I'm a, you
know, I don't, I don't know.
It's not my favorite, you know, because I'm a civilized person, so I don't eat
chicken feet and stuff, but I don't mind it.
I like countries with tablecloths.
Welcome to the alt-right Nazi food hour.
Thank you for coming, and this is when we, I'm watching a show on HBO right now
called The Gilded Age, which isn't good, but it's not bad.
And it's about all these old money families in New York that are being
displaced by new money families, and it's about like a family that's supposed
to be the Vanderbilts because it's a railroad tycoon and his wife, and they're
trying to break into old New York.
And you see in the show how bad the Irish had it, you know, everybody, we
always hear about, you know, you know, slaves, but we never hear about Irish
slaves.
And there were like a ton of them, and that's what my podcast is now about,
telling the story of Irish slaves.
But, you know, one of the maids is Irish, she's like a gambler, and a guy's
just beating her up and throwing her on the street, trying to get his money.
But now, you know, HBO's got to force all these storylines.
They've got to force diversity, so you have like a black character who, you
know, it's just, you're watching this thing.
A girl gets robbed.
The black lady lends her money, and then she goes to this, you know, rich
family in New York, and then they just take her in.
So, here's what you have to believe now.
You have to believe that America was this stunningly racist, horrible society,
which there's a lot of merit to that belief.
But you also have to suspend that belief to enjoy a show where they just move a
black woman into the home within two days of meeting her.
Because you need the diversity in this show.
So, it's like the craziest storyline ever.
It's like, oh, yeah, she lent me money to get on the train, and then she gets
there, and they're like, oh, you can dictate my letters, you can read or write,
live with us.
Live with us and be a principal character on the show.
And that's where the diversity start going, it's odd.
I'm all for having another black family on the show in Brooklyn where it's
believable.
Where it's not like you're not forcing this thing that would really just never
happen, in my estimation.
I'm not saying it's never happened.
But the idea you have this old money, New York, rich family just taking in this
black girl after knowing her for less than 24 hours ago.
Just live here.
Just live here.
It's odd.
But, again, this is part of the new ethos in Hollywood where even if it doesn't
make sense, just do it.
Just throw it in.
And no shade to anybody.
Hey, get your money.
I'd rather watch a show where there's a black family experiencing truly what it
was like in that era than that forced storyline that we're seeing, which
clearly seems to be not what would have happened.
Or maybe I'm wrong, but it doesn't seem to be.
Like, the whole show is about this woman being terribly uncomfortable with her
white neighbor.
That's the entire show is about these two women who are just, you know, one's
old money, one's new money, and they don't get along.
The new money one is garish and vulgar.
She's a vulgarian.
And the old money one, Christine Baranski, doesn't like her.
Now, we're supposed to believe that she's terribly uncomfortable with, but she
moves in the black girl in under 24 hours and goes, come live in the house.
Late 1800s, by the way.
Civil war ended hours ago.
And we're supposed to believe she just, oh, just come on in the house.
The whole show is about she hates different classes of white people who have
money.
They have more money than her.
It's not even a bad, it's just, the whole show is about how you hate the other.
Like, you just, there are, people are tribal by nature, and people hate disruptions,
and they hate change.
And she hates this woman who lives across the street who has real money, and
her husband's this, you know, brash railroad tycoon who's a, you know, a big
money player in New York, and she's terribly uncomfortable with that, and she
doesn't like it.
But she moves into black girl, and we're supposed to just, you know, kind of
ease past that, what seems to be a glaring contradiction, because HBO needs to
do that now.
And you go, okay, all right.
It's also, whatever the show is, nobody asked for the show, either.
Nobody was like, you know, we, because the guy who made it to Downton Abbey,
which a lot of people loved, my grandmother loved it, which was like a show
about British aristocracy.
And he's doing it for America, for New York.
But, you know, nobody was pounding on the door saying, please, God, make a show
about this.
And not only have they made a show about it, but they've made a show about it
where one of the key plot points, to me, feels a bit ludicrous.
Or maybe it wasn't that racist.
Maybe those old white women who lived on Fifth Avenue weren't that bad.
That's kind of what you have to deduce.
You have to go, she's not that bad.
She lives a black girl, live in a house.
That's lovely.
I'm sure that's not a common thing.
Again, it's, you can't have it both ways, you know?
Oh, the country was horribly racist.
I'm with you there.
I agree with that.
I think you're right about that.
But this old bitch loved this black woman and moved her in in under 24 hours,
having not even known her, moved her right in.
Oh.
And that's the show.
Just, just go with it.
Just go with the show.
And you go, okay.
I was reading about, you know, I'm trying to, you know, the diet that we're all
being fed right now was war.
It's just a steady diet of Ukraine war.
And it's unhealthy.
It's unhealthy.
The TV just went on.
It's unhealthy to just hear about the war.
I'm not saying it's unimportant.
I'm not saying it doesn't matter.
I'm saying there's how many explosions should you watch?
It's a fair point.
It's a fair question, right?
How many buildings should you watch being shelled before you have coffee?
Four.
Because we are now being fed a steady war diet.
The troops are advancing.
They are, they may launch an amphibious assault on Odessa.
They are in the Black Sea.
The convoy has been stalled on the way to Kiev, which everyone has pronounced
Kiev.
And now it is Kiev, whatever.
Are people on Twitter are fighting?
Is Vladimir Putin a rational actor acting in his self-interest after being goaded
into the war by the expansion of NATO?
There's something to that, for sure.
Certainly.
And the other side, or is Vladimir Putin a psychopath who's behaving erratically?
Which there's also room for that because when you look at what he's going to
have to do with Ukraine, have a military presence there for a long time, bleed
his country there, bleed his country dry financially, have, you know, to deal
with an insurgency for as long as they're there.
And the Ukrainians are never going to forget about this.
It's not like he could just install a puppet government and be done.
This is a real project.
We just got done with this in Iraq and Afghanistan.
How did it work out for us?
We were humiliated.
The Taliban came back 20 years later.
But a lot of people made a lot of money in that period.
I'm not, you know, naive.
But these things don't usually work.
So a cost-benefit analysis of this.
But I think he was like, listen, I'm in my 70s.
There's rumors that he has Parkinson's.
He's like, hey, he's concerned with his legacy.
He goes, I'm not going to let you put missiles all around Russia.
I'm just not going to do it.
I'm a nuclear power.
We have more nuclear warheads than anybody else.
I'm going to act like it.
There's a great line in succession.
What good is having fuck you money if you can't say fuck you?
And I think Putin goes, well, what good is having all these goddamn nukes?
Just so what?
I could talk to Oliver Stone?
No.
I want a party too.
America's running around the Middle East pretending they're democratizing
things and they ain't.
You know?
You know, with Palestine, the whole thing, Saudi Arabia is doing a genocide in
Yemen.
Why don't I get involved?
I feel like, you know, he feels like, hey, you're not going to put me in a box.
But we, so we have that reality.
Now, that being said, he's invaded a country and it's terrible to watch, right?
Now, a lot of Americans don't seem to feel any which way about the people that
are being killed.
In fact, some of them think it's a good thing or that Putin is doing something
to be cheered on.
Like you would cheer on the Dallas Cowboys.
And they are saying that Vladimir Putin isn't your enemy.
Which is, okay, sure, but who is my enemy?
I mean, why does there need to be an enemy all the time?
Because inherent in Vladimir Putin isn't your enemy.
Is that?
No, it's Kamala Harris is your enemy.
You go, well, okay, can I live in a world where I'm not in direct conflict with
either Vladimir Putin or Kamala Harris?
Say, I'm trying to, Kamala has more effect on my life.
She could raise my taxes.
She could do things that I don't like.
That being said, I'd rather live here in America than live in Moscow.
Which people have forgotten.
I think somehow, somewhere, people have forgotten that.
They go, well, no, America's got a lot of problems too.
Yeah, pound for pound though, it would be hard to really make the argument that
you'd be better off living in Russia.
I mean, I know you may be upset about what's happening in the country.
You don't like certain things.
Critical race theories, you know, got you bent out of shape.
You know, whatever drag queens, you know, read the cat in the hat in the
library.
That's keeping you up.
You know what I mean?
You know, there's not enough diversity in the Marvel movie franchise on the
other side.
Whatever your problems happen to be, it's probably pound for pound still better
to live here.
Not maybe by that much and maybe not for much longer, depending on how we go.
But when you hear people talk about this idea, there seems to be this idea that,
you know, the debate is kind of about, you know, like, that we, that the CIA
and America has done bad things.
Which we are well aware of.
We've had all of this on the show.
We've been completely aware that we are an empire in the stage of decline.
That empire was established by CIA coups, military conquest, as all empires are.
I mean, we're very aware of this, right?
There's been no empire in history that's ever gotten to the size we are or any
approximation of it without doing all those things.
It's just not the way empires are built.
That doesn't excuse them.
That doesn't make them right.
But there is a weird idea or a strange idea that everything Russia does, which
is a bad thing, has to be immediately countered by reminding people that we've
also done a bad thing.
It's like an interesting kind of a knee jerk.
Whereas if Putin were to go in and nuke Ukraine tomorrow, people would tweet,
well, we also dropped the atom bomb on Japan.
I don't know what that does.
I don't know what that accomplishes.
I don't know what, where that, I don't know.
But it's people are very, it's kind of people, if nukes came flying over here,
there'd be a fair amount of the population that went, and he's right.
Good for him.
Like, I mean, would they stop at that?
That's a fair point.
If Putin were to invade America, which he's not going to do, but if he were to
do that,
would there be a segment of the population that goes, good, good for him?
I don't know.
I'm not saying it's, it just does feel like it's a little bit of a knee jerk
reaction where a lot of the stuff coming out of the Ukraine is propaganda for
sure.
