Name: #303 - Meeting In The Woods | The Tim Dillon Show
Uploaded: 2022-06-19T01:00:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '#303 - Meeting In The Woods | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '#303 - Meeting In The Woods | The Tim Dillon Show' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-19. Transcript available.

#303 - Meeting In The Woods | The Tim Dillon Show

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show from the Gas Digital
Studio in New York City.
The original home of the show that you are now watching.
Ben Avery is with us. The economy is tanking.
I feel silly that I spent $50,000 on the sunglasses that you're looking at
right now.
$50,000.
I feel stupid about that. There is a diamond in the middle of the $50,000.
These sunglasses once belonged to Dodi Al-Fayed.
Do you know who Dodi Al-Fayed is?
I have to look this up.
Look up Dodi Al-Fayed. These were his sunglasses.
R.I.P.
R.I.P.
Who was he for the retards in the audience that don't know anything?
He was an Egyptian film producer and the son of billionaire Mohammed Al-Fayed.
How did he die?
He was the romantic partner of Diana, Princess of Wales, when they both died in
a car crash in Paris.
And the sunglasses were taken off his head.
They were sent to an auction house.
And I have them now.
That's what doing well means.
That's what doing well means.
And I don't apologize for it.
But, of course, it's Pride Month.
We're here.
Ben's queer.
Get used to it.
Lil Nas X is angry that he was not nominated for a BET award.
Neither was I.
Lil Nas X.
He's saying that it's homophobic.
That's what his contention is.
He's saying that the BET awards is homophobic and that it has prevented him
from being nominated.
Yeah, zero nominations.
Zero nominations for Lil Nas.
Who, in fairness to BET, which is homophobic, but in fairness to them, he's a
horrible musician.
So you have a very strange thing there where you have a horrible musician.
He's a meme musician, right?
He's not good.
Right.
The whole point is that it's so bad, it's kind of good.
It's like a joke.
And BET that probably doesn't like him because he goes really hard with the
sexualized lyrics, as he should be able to do as a gay guy.
He should be able to say anything he wants, sell shoes with blood in them, you
know, whatever he does.
What does he do?
Doesn't he do, like, really wild?
Yeah, he does.
These things are spectacles, so he puts blood in a shoe.
But I mean, with the sex stuff, isn't he like, I'll eat your ass.
Yeah, yeah, he'll do music videos, too, where, like, he's having sex with the
devil and stuff like that.
That's right.
Lil Nas X.
Bobby, did you have something?
That was a drop.
Oh, is that just a drop?
If you have something, play it.
No, I was just going through his videos now.
Oh, okay.
I had the wrong audio up.
No, it's okay.
That's all right.
Well, we feel bad for him because I think he should be able to fuck the devil
and be rewarded.
What kind of society do we live in?
Where you can make millions of dollars simulating sex with the devil,
but are not rewarded for it by BET?
Do you want to live in that society?
Do you want to live in a society where your only reward for having sex with
Satan
is millions and millions and millions of dollars and fame
and not a statue given to you by BET to confer legitimacy on whatever it is
that you're doing?
But we feel bad for Lil Nas X, but we feel worse for the people.
I just remembered these sunglasses cost $70,000.
I remembered that now.
These are $70,000 I had to pay for this.
Tell us about this economy because it is one of the worst we've ever seen
and people are going to probably, I mean, I don't even know.
I can't even speculate how bad it's going to get.
So the Dow right now is-
Sex work.
I mean, Doug Stanhope had that great bit, strengthen up your shit pussy.
Go Google that.
But sex work's not even going to cut it really in this economy.
Like, I don't know what you're going to be able to do.
Selling your children to a human trafficker in the Philippines ain't going to
do it.
Robbing elderly people of medication and reselling it on the dark web ain't
going to do it.
It's the type of economy where the most horrible things that you can think
about,
the lengths that you would push yourself, the things that you could never even
imagine justifying,
but on some level you know that if you had to, eating a person, whatever it is,
whatever your line is,
going well over that line just to survive, the things that you know that you
might,
in some horror, hell world, end game apocalypse, have to do,
won't even cut it in this economy.
It won't help.
It won't help.
The allowances that you make morally to steal, to cheat, to take advantage of
others,
to manipulate, to engage in outright acts of violence, intimidation, betrayal
against friends,
against family, the lies that you will tell, not only yourself, but those close
to you,
the things that you, in the dark recesses of your mind, know that you could
only do
with your back against the wall and a gun to your mother's head will not suffice.
In this economy, they won't suffice.
It's going to have a whole new game plan because everything that you're
prepared to do,
even things that you're not prepared to do, it's going to get so bad out there
that it's,
I mean, I can't even describe how bad it will get.
In fact, I can't even begin to fathom.
Every film about things that are bad cannot even get close to what they predict
is coming.
Bread lines will be quaint, cute, you will wish you were on a bread line.
When this hits, and it's going to hit, and this is, by the way, every YouTuber
in the financial space,
but when this hits, you will wish you were on a bread line.
You will pray to God that you could just stand peacefully on a line without the
threat of murder
to get a nice loaf of warm bread.
It will not happen.
It will be a minute-to-minute, scratch-that, second-by-second test of your wits
and your ability to survive.
And the only thing, the only thing that might help you in such a time is my
newsletter,
which you can subscribe to when we email you once a week.
Not annoying, just my newsletter, is the only thing that might help you out,
where we give you all the up-to-date information.
No, but tell us how bad it's going to get, because Bitcoin is now under $20,000.
Bitcoin, the thing that was here to save us, is now under $20,000.
$18,900.
$18,000.
And you know what's coming next?
The house.
The house is coming.
Meaning, people, you know, people think that they're safe with their money in a
fucking house.
Well, that's coming next, the housing collapse.
But tell us, Bitcoin is where?
$18,900.
$18,000.
I'm looking at the graph.
It hasn't been here since December 11, 2020.
That's right.
Yeah.
And then the Dow is basically right where it was at pre-pandemic.
So it collapsed, it rose, rose, rose, rose, rose, and now it's back to where it
was in January of 2020,
right before everything went to show.
Well, there were some ill-gotten gains.
And, you know, I don't know what to tell everybody.
Unfortunately, there's a big correction.
They are driving the market into – pull up what Mike Novogratz said here
about the economy and how they are going to combat inflation.
They're going to drive the economy into a recession.
It's a minute, 24-second clip.
And I should have sent it to you last night, but I like seeing you struggle.
I'm sending it to Bobby.
But this clip kind of explains what's going on.
The rate hikes, they're making you pay to borrow money now.
They're making you pay for it.
And when the interest rates go up, the party goes down.
And Mike Novogratz, he's the CEO of something or other.
You know these people.
They're always the CEO of, like, you know, I don't know, Poseidon Capital,
whatever it is.
Mike Novogratz basically says, Jerome Powell at the Fed has decided to push the
economy into a recession to combat inflation, which is probably the only way to
do it.
That is what people are now kind of waking up to, that there's not going to be
a soft landing.
They were using the term soft landing where, like, you get to keep your house.
They've decided that's not possible.
You cannot have a soft landing.
What you will have now is the hardest of landings.
Like hitting water from thousands of feet, a smack to the concrete.
It will feel like you fell off your bike in front of all of your boys in sixth
grade, like I did.
And you will get rocks in your elbows, like I did, and permanent scars because
your parents don't care about you and they don't take you to a plastic surgeon.
It will feel like that wind getting knocked out of you, hitting the concrete in
front of everyone you know, pain but also embarrassment, shock but also disgust
with a little bit of disgrace.
That is what they've decided.
Do we have the clip up?
It's nine minutes of vamping.
Do we have the clip?
Great.
Let's play this clip because I do believe this man is entirely correct.
Soft landing is out.
Brutal, vicious, like 9-11 guy who jumps out of the towers the way he landed.
That's the way this economy is going to land.
I feel like an idiot spending $80,000 on these sunglasses.
And you want the one on Bloomberg, right?
That is correct.
Yeah, Bloomberg Technology.
I just emailed it to you, Bobby.
It's 11 minutes on YouTube.
We should do a show where it's just at the hour of getting the clips, where we
just cut from getting the clip to the clip.
Because between him and Bobby, we could do a show of this and we have 60
minutes of the show of just finding the clips.
Because that's the real fun.
Thank you.
We had a conversation about how this year could have been the year for DeFi.
It was actually the top pick you had for this year.
Now, fast forward six months.
How do you feel about that part of the industry at large?
Not great.
You know, like, listen, you have to hold crypto in context to what's gone on
macro, right?
And we talked about there were going to be headwinds this year because the Fed
was going to have to withdraw liquidity.
And so assets that went up based on cheap money forever, if they're-
This is not the clip, but that's okay.
The clip is the economy is going to fail very quickly.
Mike Novogratz, I can't wait till podcasting's over.
It's going to be over in about six months because all of these people are going
to live on the street, including him right next to me.
They're all going to live on the street.
Podcasting is quickly coming to an end.
Imagine the money they've made.
You think I've made money.
I have talent.
Imagine the money that has been made by podcast producers over the last few
years.
If you knew what these people made, you would be enraged.
Like Chris Rock had a great line.
He said, if Americans knew how rich, rich people were, they would never stop
rioting.
If you knew how much podcast producers made, you would go to their houses and
kill their families.
But Bobby, thank you.
That was the correct clip.
Six more months.
I also need to ask you a question that we're getting from a customer, actually,
a Bloomberg Terminal customer, who wants to know from you, why would you use a
200-day moving average here after the Fed funds went up 25 basis points for 730
days before the rate hiking cycle started?
So how do you recalibrate here with the 75 basis point hike?
How do you recalibrate given that we're in a new paradigm?
Listen, I think what the Fed said really clearly was, and we've been talking
about this for a while, when you have inflation as strong as we've had, you
need to put the economy in a recession to stop inflation.
And what Chairman Powell said yesterday very clearly is, I will put the economy
in a recession to stop inflation.
Even though I have a dual mandate and I had talked cheeky about trying to get a
soft landing, guys who have done this for a long time realize the soft landing
isn't possible.
And so the economy is going to go into a recession, and it's going to go into a
recession fast.
You saw housing starts today, they collapsed.
You're going to see the economy just screech to a halt.
That's what the Fed needs to do to get inflation down.
And so we're going to go through this awkward period where growth is going to
be rolling over and inflation is still going to stay stubborn before it rolls.
When the Fed sees it rolling and they signal the pause, then you'll see crypto
take off, you'll see other assets fall up.
Okay, so that is 