Name: Andrew Schulz | The Tim Dillon Show #307
Uploaded: 2022-07-17T01:00:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Schulz | The Tim Dillon Show #307' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Schulz | The Tim Dillon Show #307' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-17. Transcript available.

Andrew Schulz | The Tim Dillon Show #307

Andrew Schultz is with us what's up everybody uh you had a special that you
sold to 4chan
they then they then said it was I almost cut you off and I was like do we have
to talk about
right away and I was like no I think there's something here yeah because 4chan
said this
is too much for us they did they said for our platform yeah it's too much and
now you have to
no I don't want to talk about it right away but I do want to say good for you
for buying it back
thank you and doing it independently thank you see I cut out I cut down I gave
mine to Netflix for $35
listen listen you're gonna get your money's worth I owe too much in mortgages
to play games that's
what I was saying before this is like you're so smart with fucking real estate
you like understand
this game I don't know you're gonna be humble but you do understand it a little
I understand it more
than I used to because I've foreclosed on property I fucked so much up that I'm
a little better I'm
better now I think that's the confidence that's right I think it's like I'm I
have this fear
that if something goes wrong like I'm like they just take everything like I don't
understand what
foreclosure is right but you've went through the darkest part and you're like
oh you just get to
be a celebrity after it's actually fun yeah it's actually fun it doesn't really
matter
nothing matters so you might as well buy it all New York is like a non-recourse
state so they can't
even go after the money you have in your bank account they can just go after
the house
so they can just take the house you know you just you know yeah you put
everything in somebody's name
for a couple of years you declare bankruptcy you wipe it out it's fun it's not
a big deal yeah going
broke is actually kind of fun it's liberating it's liberating what a white
perspective yeah yeah going
broke is a liberating and spiritual experience it's my new seminar that I'm
running um but you take
chances all over the place if it's on me I feel more comfortable taking the
chance you'll do it
because I can control it a little bit more yes you know what I mean absolutely
like I can I can work
on the stand-up I can work on the podcast I can make them funny I can make them
interesting I can
I can actually change that I can't do anything to fucking AT&T I can't do
anything to a bitcoin I can't
do anything to these other assets that's I admire people who just like do the
research and know it's
going to happen and you were saying the interest rate's going to go like this I
don't know anything
about that but I I can make more content the game is that I don't either but it's
pretend see pretend
when you were a kid remember you would play pretend with people and you would
make up that you know
you guys were doing something you know whoever's the power rangers whatever you
are yeah uh that's
all this economy is we actually never grow out of that we never grow out of
like playing pretend yeah
people just get better at it and then they get to live in Palm Beach yeah or
Manhattan yeah or
wherever and people just really good at playing so I'm trying to play real yes
when I should be
trying to play pretend yes you just just hold forth on something like just for
breakfast you're sitting
there yeah and you're doing a shakshuka or whatever and you pierce the egg with
the knife and you eat
it and then you go the interest rates and don't even have anything planned
after that even after
that third word after rates don't even have anything planned just go the
interest rate and you'll find
it you'll find it and they don't know either yes because they're listening to
you for they have no idea
if you're loud if you're loud and kind of passionate you should do a podcast
like that yes I know
that would be like a brilliant business plan that would probably be incredibly
successful and people
around the world would listen to it regularly it would be amazing yeah it would
be amazing like I
would love that if there was a guy who did a podcast where he pretended to know
about a lot of things
yeah like a little bit about a lot of things yeah yeah and he was healthy and
smoked weed does he
need to be healthy uh yeah because it helps okay yeah yeah yeah yeah but I
think that's a great
blueprint oh you think I'm talking about Joe I'm talking about you you're not
talking about Joe
are you not talking about Joe but that's that's the brilliance of his show is
that he does know a lot
yeah but what he doesn't know he just kind of rolls with it ah you know and
that's why you that's what
you got to do just gotta roll with it this special did you know they were going
to fuck you a little
no yeah but originally listen I thought it was there was going to be maybe
issues yeah I showed
him everything so it's like you know what you're getting in bed with right and
then I think it was
the trans shit with Chappelle that that scared the fuck out of them terrified
people yeah and they said
this is too much yeah they're like we just want you to cut these different
things and I was just like
I'm not gonna do it no and I also like I'd never done stand-up for a network
right so I'd never went
through the notes process right I'd always just done YouTube and Instagram and
shit so like I I felt
weird and I was like I'm not about to water it down now that I have this big
beautiful thing no you've
built this thing on your own exactly and what now yeah you're you're past the
notes phase exactly for
sure and I felt that way and obviously they're thinking okay he's not big
enough to take the risk
which is fine you have to make that assessment that's cool I'm not even
offended by that like
right you don't love stand-up like I love stand-up you love building a business
that's cool that's
great I love this shit if it was a fucking movie or something and you wrote it
all and you want to
edit my line edit I don't give a fuck for sure I don't care about acting I hate
it yeah to be honest
with you it's more personal to us to them it's a transaction exactly so I
understand why they feel
this way about it and why they want to protect the brand sure and I'm sure they
on some level
understand why I feel so strongly about it yeah this is my whole fucking
identity my whole career
this is the that you put years into this yeah people know me from stand-up
right they they found my
podcast after right for sure so it's like yeah it was very hard for me to to
just be like willy-nilly
about it the control go away exactly and I'm not gonna ask what streamer it is
um I just know that
it's not Netflix because Netflix is so desperate right now they would take
anything they asked me
to recut my special where I say the n-word really and they because they just
want attention they cut
the joke about the n-word they said no they said can you just start screaming
the n-word but what was
that thing you were working out when the guy was giving you the parking ticket
like I saw you you
were working out that joke and then you were like just you said it was a joke
and you were just
screaming the n-word at him but you were like it's a bit no I think oh yeah
yeah yeah putting the
ticket on it was it was a bit where I said how dare you n-word give me a ticket
yeah yeah yeah yeah
what that is is I like to workshop bits in life because I find that the stage a
lot of times is
incredibly it's not honest limiting yeah no yeah it it's uh it's good to have a
I think confidence in
your fan base and in yourself that you've kind of always done you've always
done your own thing you
don't care yeah I mean that's the gamble right that's the gamble gamble is we
know so many people
that are unhappy because for whatever reason you know they feel like they're at
a job yeah and like
you also make that choice like security is nice like people will sacrifice
freedom for security like
every single fucking day so I get why they make that decision but uh and they
don't want to do this
because I think a lot of people just don't want to know how much they're worth
I think that's the
scariest thing about this to most people and that's why people don't leave
institutions like SNL is a
cozy fucking job sure right but like you don't really know if people fuck with
you or if they fuck with
the team the brand exactly so like I love everybody on the Knicks and then if
they get traded fuck them
right and you don't know if people love you or if you're tradable yeah finding
out your own value
and knowing and I think Mike Lawrence uh comedian said about Los Angeles that
like it was a terrifying
city for a lot of people in New York because they appraise your worth
immediately ah yeah yeah like
because it's all like dollars and cents yeah it's not so much like oh you're
talented or you're people
come here to make to be successful because yeah that's what people value out
here is that's right
like what is hot that's right and in New York people what's good it's yo we we
like it this sounds
super fucking corny we we kind of like art yeah and it's like you like the kid
who dresses cool or the
the music that is interesting and that has value right and like even the weird
looking fashion model
is cooler in New York for whatever reason than here exactly right here it's
just hot hot hot so when
you got hot here yeah shit changed for you when I was here before that it was
very dark and but it was
fun but it was like invisible but when you saw the flip yeah for me I would
resent motherfuckers
like for me it'd be hard because now I know we don't have the same values sure
so it'd be like okay
you like this because right you know when yeah that I would I would I would be
resentful yeah I I'm
I think that's a that's a interesting thing I think what what what it is more
is accepting of the game
because it's I I don't even blame those people they're just existing in this
singular focus how do I
make it it's just they're existing in this world that's all been decided for
them yeah and they kind
of when I had nothing going on they were like dismissive and then I had more
going on and
they were like hey what's up I think that's just the way the town operates that's
the town and you
can't at a certain point you notice you can't fight city hall but I yeah listen
it's never been it
doesn't you know you can choose who you help yeah that's true that's and that's
where the resentment
plays it's like oh and that person didn't respond to your messages when you
just were saying hey I
really thought your set was good right and now they're all up your ass yeah it's
like okay I don't
have to necessarily put my resources into helping build you because you might
not have the same like
code yeah as I have yeah I mean that's that's probably a lot of what I think
people are scared of when
they treat people like shit it's that one day it turns on them yeah right so
there's a lot of people
that treat people poorly which is never the right thing to do right but a lot
of times it does turn
yeah you know and there's many instances of that in this business where like
somebody does shoot up
for whatever reason but people were pretty nice to me I don't think anyone was
ever a dick I think
people were just kind of like they were in their own lane doing their own thing
I also think I'm not
as emotional as other people people get very emotional well people get very
emotional about
how they're um treated uh like people get very like you know they're easily
offended or their feelings
get hurt well yeah because they're probably insecure about something and they
feel that way already
about themselves right then it gets validated right I always was like yeah that
person's busy
that person is doing something why should they know me like it was always back
on me and maybe
that's a because you cold called people yeah it's well it's like you went
through immense rejection
yeah and you start to realize oh yeah that person is picking up their kids yeah
that's not why
they're home at 30 30. it's it's because to me I was always like if you
internalize every brush o