Name: The Choker | The Tim Dillon Show #313
Uploaded: 2022-08-28T02:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Choker | The Tim Dillon Show #313' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Choker | The Tim Dillon Show #313' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-28. Transcript available.

The Choker | The Tim Dillon Show #313

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show.
I was coming down my elevator this morning and I opened it
and there was like an autistic kid or like a young,
maybe in his teens, late teens, and he was like,
he was in the elevator and he was going,
press four, press four!
And the guy, and I was like terrified
because the elevator opened and he was just sweating
and screaming, press four!
Like as loud as I'd ever heard.
And there was like a Saudi next to him,
like a skinny Saudi, like one of the 19 hijacked.
They just all look alike.
He didn't do it, but they, just a skinny Saudi,
think any of them, Muhammad Adah, whatever.
And he's, and not that they're all,
but you know what I mean, it's that aesthetic.
In the elevator next to this kid.
And then I'm like, all right, I'll wait for another one.
And then the Saudi walks out, he goes,
I'll wait for another one too.
And I'm like, what the fuck happened?
He goes, I don't know who this guy is.
I just walked in the elevator and he started screaming,
press four, press four.
He started hitting the call button and screaming at security.
So like the, the mental, it's crazy what's going on out there.
And then I was eating lunch in a grocery store
and a guy just came up to me.
I swear to God out of nowhere.
And he was going up to everyone in the store.
And he's going, you know, a guy I met told me,
he goes, you know what I do?
I provide drugs to the Rolling Stones.
And I said, no way.
And then he got Keith Richards on the phone
and I played him satisfaction and he liked it.
So, and then he goes, so what?
He's a drug dealer.
You never know.
And I go, okay.
And he's going up to everyone in the store and telling them that exact story
over and over, word for word, no variation.
Just going up to like the next person who's like getting a tomato and going,
I met a guy and you know what he said he did?
He got, he sold drugs.
He provides drugs to the Rolling Stones.
I said, no way.
Get Keith Richards on the phone.
And you know what he did?
And then I played him satisfaction and he liked it.
So he's a drug dealer, but you never know.
And then there'd be like a woman ladling soup into a thing.
And he goes, a guy I met came up to me and he said, I provide drugs to the
Rolling Stones.
And everybody is just kind of like nodding like, yes.
And, and it just, the level of mental illness in the country now is so obvious.
Like it's glaring.
It's in your face.
If you're not recognizing it, you're not paying attention.
It's so out in front.
I mean, so many of the people that you come across on a day-to-day basis have
lost it.
They're no longer playing the game you're playing in reality.
They're somewhere else, you know, nervous breakdowns, psychic breaks, you know,
trauma-induced schizophrenia.
I don't know, but people are wandering around the world right now.
So much so that it's not shocking anymore.
Like, you're like, yep, that guy's, you know, it used to be like, ooh, that guy's
not.
Now you're just like, yep, that's the guy that talks about the Rolling Stones
at lunch every day.
There's nothing anyone can do.
And, you know, and the thing is, he's not like frothing at the mouth, put him
in the home crazy.
He's just like, kind of like, let, we can tolerate it.
Fine.
He tells a nice little story over and over again.
Crazy.
The elevator guy, the kid in the elevator was a little, a little too nuts.
And to where even the Saudi guy walked out, he goes, I'll take the next one.
He goes, yeah, he just came in and started screaming.
He was sweating at this wiry hair and he's screaming, press fire, press fire,
fire.
And I was just like, I pay a lot of money to live in this building, but this is
what happens, right?
I mean, this is, you know, a friend of mine has a job as like a companion and
it's kind of a sober companion.
But what he also does is very wealthy families will pay him to spend time with
their children and their children could have debilitating addiction.
They could have severe autism and, you know, his job is, and, you know, I feel
for all of those people in all of those situations, you know,
what I mean?
Like, but his job is to like walk them around central park or like hang out,
like try to make things better for them.
Cause it is very difficult.
But it was just very jarring when the elevator doors open, he's got press fire.
And I don't know.
I also get mad because I think what happened was he was trying to go to four
and somehow we ended up on my floor.
And I also, you know, I've had that happen to me, but you could tell something
wasn't right with him.
Like he's like spitting as he talked and sweating, he's like press four.
And I was just like, Oh my God.
And his clothes were weird.
You know, it's just a strange, he looked like the guy, get up recess, get up
the bully on, on the show recess.
It was a cartoon that I used to watch, uh, Randall.
Yeah, Randall.
So go right, right.
Okay.
So yeah, he looked exactly like Randall from recess.
The guy in the elevator going press four, press four.
I told you to press four.
I just kept saying, press four, press four, press four.
So it was a little traumatic.
It was an interesting day.
Just noticing how many people are just not with it.
They're off and there's nothing to be done.
And as long as they're not trying to kill you, you just have to let it go,
which is what you should, you know, you go, Hey, but it is something you can
notice.
You know, um, we were talking the other day about, um, Hollywood on this show
and we had mentioned the Batgirl movie that had gotten shelved, meaning they're
not releasing it.
And there's a lot of people that, um, were confused about that.
Um, and they were thinking, was that a marketing ploy where they, you know,
trying to say like, Hey, uh, they, they thought maybe there'd be an outpouring
of like, no, we really want to see Batgirl, uh, for whatever reason, they're
not releasing it.
Um, and you know, there's this idea that everyone in Hollywood's like a lunatic,
uh, but they're, that's the only true of certain people.
And there are certain people that are actually good.
And they're actually people that are trying to do the right thing.
And they are good.
They're a good example.
They're like an example for people.
And one of them, uh, and again, this is a non-binary person.
So I'm going to try to do this the right way and use all the right things
because I believe in you, but it's hard and difficult to always remember.
So don't come for me if I say the wrong thing.
But this is about an actor who is actually a very, uh, this is someone you want
to, if you're a child, you want to kind of emulate this guy.
Um, who's not a guy who's see again, I already, I already, I already, it's hard
literally already.
I, it's this person, this entity, um, Ezra Miller, Ezra Miller is a non-binary
actor who is.
A great role model for children.
And there you see them, you see them there.
Nothing awkward about saying that.
You see them there.
You see them there.
Good.
Seems good.
English.
Everyone.
You see them there with a skull necklace and a fur coat.
Now, Ezra Miller has been having problems with the studio who is releasing the
movie, The Flash.
The studio is called Warner Brothers.
And there is a movie coming out called The Flash.
It is a superhero movie.
Of course it is.
Because, um, we will refuse to make any movies anymore unless they are about
superheroes or slaves.
Those are the two genres of film that we are interested in making.
Uh, you're either being beaten and whipped in a field or you're flying through
the air trying
to save someone.
Those are the only two representations of any person you will see in cinema at
the current
moment.
Ezra Miller was in this called The Flash.
Now, what's going on with Ezra Miller?
There's, uh, issues.
There's problems, right?
A long timeline of, uh, legal troubles here.
He's had, uh, they, they, they, they, they, they.
I'm sorry.
They!
Just because he choked someone and kidnapped someone does not mean that we can
get all loosey-goosey
here with the terms.
Uh, Ezra Miller, early in the pandemic, video leaked of Miller.
Miller choking a woman outside the, I don't even want to pronounce it, but in
Reykjavik,
Iceland.
It's a bar.
In the clip, which seems to pick up mid-confrontation, a smiling woman
approaches Miller and appears
to start a play fight.
Well, is this going to be one of those things where I have to side with them?
Miller takes her motion seriously and says, okay, you, you want to fight?
That's what you want to do?
Before grabbing the woman by the neck, pushing her against the dumpster,
throwing her to the
ground, at which point the video cuts out.
Seems excessive.
Hey, Ezra.
At the time, Variety confirmed Miller's identity with the bar, which said
Miller frequented the
location when they were in town.
So, he choked a woman.
Yes.
Not great.
Not good.
Not great PR for the flash.
In, on January 27th, 2022, Miller began their fateful year by posting a video
to social media
threatening a North Carolina faction of the Ku Klux Klan.
This is a message for the Blueville, Buleville, Buleville chapter of the North
Carolina KKK.
The actor says in the clip, look, if you'll want to die, I suggest killing
yourselves with
your own guns.
Okay?
Otherwise, keep doing exactly what you're doing right now and you know what I'm
talking
about, then you know we'll do it for you.
If that's what you really want, it's unclear what prompted Miller's threat to
the hate group.
Da-da-da-da-da.
He has no known ties to the North Carolina city.
See, that's what makes me laugh is it's not just the KKK in general.
It's a specific North Carolina, almost like he has a problem with a person in
that specific
faction of the North Carolina chapter of the Ku Klux Klan.
In Buleville.
In Buleville.
Like, listen, guys, we are going to figure out what's going on with the Buleville
KKK.
March 28th, 2022, Hawaii arrest number one.
Miller spent their spring in Hawaii.
By all accounts, they were a menace to everyone around them.
On March 28th, the actor was visiting a local karaoke bar when they grew agitated
and began,
quote, yelling obscenities and at one point grabbed the microphone from a 23-year-old
woman
singing karaoke.
Later, Miller lunged at a 32-year-old man and failed to calm down after being
asked several
times by the bar owner.
Miller's interactions with the two bar patrons earned them.
And by the way, I can't get anything made because I sat next to Alex Jones on a
podcast.
Just to give you an idea, this person is being, this is all okay.
Who does he have photos of?
They.
Who do they have photos of?
When did Ezra Miller come out as non-binary?
I think a few years back.
Okay, great.
Well, it's clearly helped their behavior.
So, Miller then posts $500.
Bail.
Miller argues that they, in fact, were the victim of assault, claiming a self-identifying
Nazi
in the bar attacked them.
There's always Nazis everywhere popping up.
A Nazi in the bar attacked them and explaining that they recorded themselves
being assaulted
in order to make NFT crypto art.
So, Ezra Miller said, I was attacked by a Nazi and I recorded it to make crypto
art?
Yeah, basically.
He's accusing, he's saying the Nazi was doing that.
They, they are saying.
They were saying.
They are saying that.
When does he, okay.
Shortly after the karaoke bar incident, Miller was arrested again in Hawaii for
allegedly throwing
a chair that struck a woman in the head.
At around one in the morning, can I do this if I become non-binary?
Can I throw chairs at women and go crazy at bars in Hawaii?
Like, can I do all of that?
Is that, because by the way, I don't feel, really, to be honest, I didn't feel
like a
man or a woman today.
I had tomatoes and onions and, and I rolled it up and I didn't eat any bread
and I rolled
it up with lox and cream cheese and I ate it in the grocery store and I just
sat there
while the crazy guy talked about the Rolling Stones.
I didn't feel my cock.
I, if I had a vagina, that would have also been okay