Name: Bill Burr | The Tim Dillon Show #321
Uploaded: 2022-10-30T00:55:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | The Tim Dillon Show #321' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | The Tim Dillon Show #321' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-30. Transcript available.

Bill Burr | The Tim Dillon Show #321

dude i finally saw a racer head and when i found out that his baby was born his
daughter was born
with like webbed toes that they got fixed and i saw the movie i was like that
guy is like a douche
yeah i can't imagine meeting his daughter and seeing that like he wanted to
kill me
because i was deformed and i brought like that sort of well now you're a dad
you understand
like webbed toes webbed toes and children the love of children bill burr is
with us the last
man left in la you're you've done it you're here and you're sticking it out oh
there's plenty of
guys no i know i'm kidding but you know how there's you know they try to depict
this place yeah that's
just a you know a bunch of liberals uh you know swimming around an infinity
pool and right talking
about gender neutral bathrooms it's so funny it's the same way that people out
here talk about the
red states oh they're out there you know their sister it's just like you guys
all need to do
the road yeah and intermingle and everybody can just relax yeah it's uh
stereotypes exist for a
reason but it's these lack of travel right that's right these places are big
that's the other thing
i think people don't realize how big los angeles is so yeah they don't realize
when you go over the
hollywood hills it's trump land that's right it becomes real concern i'm not
saying they're into
trump wood i'm not trying to start that i'm just saying they're conservatives i
was like you go down
magnolia there's like 12 gun shops down there uh halloween costumes sort of a
strange strange yeah
i did the san jose improv and the drive from here to up to san jose northern
california takes you through
all these farms and they're all just like there's there's like let's kill newsome
signs and trump 2024
like it's red and then you get to san jose and san fran that gets blue again
yeah but these are
california just came in the fourth largest economy in the world u.s china japan
california
just beat germany oh is that right yeah about time yeah just be just finally
finally i love that i so
don't pay attention to politics that i don't even know who newsome is the
governor i know his name is
gavin gavin newsome yeah yeah he's the governor well you're busy is he that i'm
not busy i don't pay
attention is that is that cruz guy running against him or is he mayor um and he's
running against that
lady karen bass and um uh and uh rick caruso are running for what i love is karen
is a republican right
she's a democrat she's a democrat and this guy was a republican now he says two
days ago i can't yeah
he was a very he's a right-wing guy but now he's kind of running as a democrat
and they're in a dead
heat the old billionaire the old billionaire guy the old billionaire gonna
become a politician and uh
help out the little guy yes he bought the grove he owns the grove he developed
the grove
you know that yeah that soulless place yeah i like how you go in there yeah how
it sucks your soul
out but they're playing this music like you just you know yeah you know luck be
a lady two nights
yeah she just walked around yeah you feel successful when you're there yeah it's
a hellscape and it's you
know it's a cheesecake factory and then a bunch of stores with a trolley and
there's a trolley yeah it
takes you around so he's gonna i apparently do that for the home i don't know
what he's gonna do but
he's gonna solve homelessness with i think he's gonna put them in his buildings
yeah that he's gonna make
and then there's gonna be like a 18 month period and then he's gonna kick them
all out
and then he's gonna have the building yeah i think that's how you make a
billion dollars you
just know how it works i respect the guy and he knows you know what we're gonna
do right take all
those dirty yeah stick them in this shiny everyone's gonna be like that's
awesome
then i leave office i kick all the dirty out i got this shiny thing that i'm
gonna i'm gonna make
the less lesser dirty people pay for yeah i mean that's middle class it's very
possibly what he's
gonna do or yeah or he's a billionaire with a heart of gold that's also
possible the julia roberts
maybe he's just a good guy yeah yeah maybe richard gear picked him up and took
him out on a date
yeah and now i'm a new tuxedo yeah maybe he's a good guy i mean his son's a dj
so he's kind of
connected he's connected to losers and regular people um you know perhaps he's
you know he that's the big
issue everybody at this point is either a dj or an influencer yeah there's some
there's like six degrees
of separation you either know a dj yes or an influencer or you are one your
life you've seen
everything change so much from when you started a podcaster yeah or a podcaster
you've seen it change
so much is it better now like just life in general is life in general better
now than it was when you
were growing up or do you feel like it was it had was better than overall it no
it it's a that's a
sliding scale it's all like aspects of it right we're better i think it was
better that you weren't
staring at screens all the time i think it's a better time now for artists i
think it's a better
time now for uh people who aren't white to be able to express what's really
happening to them right
uh i probably a worse time now for people in hate groups where they can kind of
be like hey man
i didn't know you hated the same i did you're up in seattle right sleepless in
seattle meets the clan
like you kind of get that shit going on uh it's i think it's just like but you
know obviously the
environment we've kind of pushed it to the limit here uh it feels like it's at
the breaking point yeah
i feel bad for young people now that they're kind of down to two seasons it's
either summer or
winter it kind of seems in a lot of places so and i think people are ignorant
too where they're looking
out at la and out here being like yeah good luck like dude like that's not
gonna slowly come your
yeah it's coming it's coming yeah and when yeah if we keep going this route
because like i i was
looking back east i look at the trees i got the lush land and the lakes and
stuff and it's just like
if it keeps getting hotter all of those trees are going to dry out and then you
might you're just
sitting around like a bunch of old newspapers so yeah i think the new thing is
going to be uh it's not
going to be to solve it it's going to be the fireproof house where you can fireproof
house
with the infinity pool inside i like that so as you sit there and you watch
people with less money than
you burning to death right as you're tweeting my heart breaks for people with
less money than me
you stay you stay in there yeah and once they're all gone then you just sort of
absorb yeah i think
we're going to go back to those massive ranches that guy like you know like how
that that one guy
owned griffith park like he gave that to la like one guy had all of that i
think we're going to go
back to that once people just sort of get you know burned out or washed away by
the sea it's very
possible what's weird about la is we do have a lot of homelessness but all of
our hit shows are about
real estate like every show on netflix like selling sunset and you know buying
peverly hills they just
start dressing like absolute horse they're hookers hookers yeah no no i watched
one of that orange
county one this woman was selling a house she's got these beautiful tits
probably not real right dude
everything but her areola yeah her tits were out and then it plunged all the
way down here and i'm just
thinking like if a guy shows up with his wife right like that's a really weird
thing where it's just
hey what'd you think of that how it looked great tell me two details of that
house right and none of
them know like none of these if you ask them what the taxes on the house are
they have no idea like
they don't know any real estate questions they're just hot and i'm sure they
know but what i'm saying
they don't seem to know that much i would those are the kinds of women you want
to as a guy if
you're successful yeah you want to stay away from yeah because they will they
will they will take your
life they'll eat you yes yeah they will eat you and then play the victim and
can't and cancel you right
yeah well i mean they're they're well yeah like look at like when i was a kid
that right there
that was a movie star right she was a movie star now she sells houses she's
selling a
fucking one level ranch with an open floor plan yeah yeah how do you not buy
the house the second
you walk in there well and i think a lot of them are are trading on the fact
that they'll meet rich
guys and then perhaps you know they might marry those guys no you know what i
think it is i think it is
that you never used to sell houses on tv right and then what happened was
probably all the ugly people
got shamed out of that business right and then all of a sudden they would just
because back in the
day stewardesses were hot right i think all the hot stewardesses are now
selling yeah because
houses they are not hot anymore they're not they look like me no flight attendants
look like they're
that's not true i've seen some there's some of them are pretty but some of them
are weathered
no if you get on if you're if you're on a uh uh um a mainstream airline flying
across the country
that's seniority so there's going to be some miles on that one right yeah if
you take a puddle jumper
yeah instead of playing denver you're doing colorado springs right maybe grand
junction right
that's where you get somebody who's cute yeah yeah yeah but at that point i'm
54 so i can't look at
her anyways or else i'm a creep new york to la or la to new york which is what
i do a lot is a lot of
it's a lot of older women you got hags yeah who have had it they've had it they've
had it i've had
it yeah they've had it yeah they're like put the strap and they go the seat
belt they go and the
shoulder strap like as soon as i walk in they're like that comic that stopped
writing jokes and he
hates his act right they just kind of keep doing it keep rolling through but
what's interesting about
uh what you said about the fireproof house is that is probably going to be kind
of a reality
as stuff gets worse nobody's gonna the sad thing is none of the politicians are
in a position
to turn on corporations right because they're they're all grossly underpaid
politicians and they
do it because they're supposed to be public service but what you're really
doing is it's so the rich
people can have them in their pockets they they need them that's why um you
know the stuff that like
those 24-hour news networks go after it's never you know they're not going to
go after like the big
guys that feed them they go after you know stand-up comedians telling jokes and
uh you know some guys
some guy yeah some guy slaps somebody at a mall right what is this what is
happening to the fabric
of america and they just kind of uh they don't go after like blackstone that
buys all these houses
now and pushes the values of them up and they've locked people out of renting
like they don't go after
companies like that like over the pharmaceutical companies yeah they're just
selling like you know
yeah synthetic heroin that's all killing hundreds of thousands of people
devastating families there's
one that's no big deal but did you see what tim dylan said right right san jose
and then that's like uh
what do they call that when you're you're it was like that joke i did uh at red
rocks when i saw a
bunch of liberal idiots out here going after dead john wayne right i'm speaking
to dead power like they
were doing their thing as a white person that day it's just so stupid right
settling scores with dead
people yeah putting them historically in perspective the alive white guy that
still
has power that i need to get my movie made i won't speak to him right but i'll
try to change the name
of an airport yeah you're welcome black people does that ever do you think what
changes that where
corporations run everything they ju