Name: Mike Recine | The Tim Dillon Show #333
Uploaded: 2023-01-29T02:42:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mike Recine | The Tim Dillon Show #333' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mike Recine | The Tim Dillon Show #333' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-29. Transcript available.

Mike Recine | The Tim Dillon Show #333

mike has seen one of my oldest friends at comedy and we just we just looked at
an article here it
says i'm dating a 23 year old woman who looks like an eight-year-old i'm not a
creep yeah
nobody thought that show this article sometimes old to catch a predator clips
will come up on my
tiktok yeah and it's really funny i mean you like you forget that how wild that
show was it was so
fun but they all thought they were like gonna get to go home afterwards yeah
well they thought it
was like a warning yeah yeah they were like i get it yeah no you're right i'm
sorry no i won't i won't
tell an eight-year-old boy i want to suck his cock ever again i'm wrong here
yeah uh never happen again
thank you yeah now this guy's dating he's he's 23 and he's date wait the woman's
23 yeah but she looks
eight it's not really a story i mean what's the big deal yeah she looks like
this she literally looks
she looks like a ventriloquist yeah she's uh and tlc of course has done a show
about her because why
wouldn't tlc and her name is shauna ray and there's something wrong with her uh
clearly um
people don't understand that i am an adult she's from long island she's from
long island um
it's it's uh she's the second season oh yeah the second season of the show
premieres
uh and follows ray as she looks for love and considers whether she wants to
pursue a college
degree looks for love so it's just it this is to catch a predator yeah now the
show is called my
eight-year-old girlfriend yeah my eight-year-old bride my child i mean this is
not can you imagine if you
brought her she does look like a child can you imagine if you brought her to
your parents
and you said this is my girlfriend shauna ray yeah if you look at me you see an
eight-year-old she
told the post but if you took the time to look at the details of my face my
hands and maturity my body
if you take the time to actually talk to me you really understand that i'm a 20
but i'll tell
you what i have tits and my gets wet okay what is the dude like what's his
story she's kind of
attractive though she's not badly yeah i mean what's the problem here i mean uh
well look at this photo
look at that photo it's just the way she's dressing she's got to dress a little
older i mean he's a
pedophile yeah just you know right yeah but that's the best way to be a pedophile
don't you think it's
the best look at him look how happy he is yeah yeah he found it he found it
like look how thrilled
he's like wait a minute what he's like god she's like i have this condition i'm
actually 23 he's like
yeah thank you jesus he goes to the chat room he goes guys i found a 23 year
old she looks like she's
eight and the guy's like man i just i just molest kids in my neighborhood yeah
he's like writing he goes
listen guys the thing that we all want does exist yeah yeah you can have your
cake and eat it too
yeah i do a bit about how like the day you realize that you're not a pedophile
that's a great day in
your life right right you know this is it's it's weird to see yeah and uh it's
unfortunate
that but she deserves probably gets carded a lot she's carded she's not allowed
in the thing they'll
go this is a fake id she'll go it's a government issued id they'll go get the
out yeah it is not
i mean at the end of the day i think that she deserves love yeah yeah does she
have a condition
or something she has a condition uh-huh i mean she has to yeah right the
condition is called eight
year old syndrome and they met they met i mean let's let's see let's hear here
let's see here what he
says the way me and shauna met was i saw the first season of the show i was
really inspired by her
emotional strength the way me and shauna met was i went to thailand and i said
hey are there any
eight-year-olds in this hotel where i can get some action and then yeah i mean
like
it's sad because this is a girl who deserves companionship she's 23 years old
yeah the problem
is you're inherently suspect of the guy that wants to take her out well you
just can't like kiss her in
public or i mean it's every single restaurant is this your restaurant yeah is
this your daughter yeah
you know right imagine take her to nobu if you go to the honeymoon suite with
her the police will
be called they will call the police so it's difficult yeah now she's 23 she
needs to find
somebody that has her condition sure but they probably don't look good or just
like another
an eight-year-old boy or she needs to start dating a nice and horny but they
can't dick her down
yeah she wants to get dicked down yeah right and this guy is willing to dick
her down when you start
getting boners like around like 30 like probably 12 or something i don't know
yeah i imagine but
still she wants a man she's fully formed 23 year old in her brain right right
so she's looking for a guy
yeah and the problem it look go up go up go up for a second look at this look
at this hold on
he looks so young who's that guy i don't know on his blind date with a
firefighter yeah let's watch
this so they have like the same condition i guess what like just date other
kids can you imagine yeah
your parents yeah and coming home and saying this is my girlfriend shauna ray
yeah look
hi hi nice to meet you by the way stop this for a second what the is tlc doing
yeah yeah can we arrest
the people that work at tlc can we arrest the executives that work at tlc she's
like some
people think i'm eight but you know this mouth ain't eight years old this mouth
does things that
only a 47 year old woman knows how to do don't worry about me my mouth knows
exactly what to do
i'm no eight year old let's get you in my pussy let's watch this
beautiful come on right this way but what this isn't even like came around the
corner i was like
oh he's taller i was like oh he's not like that there's already a foot
difference i was like we'll
see how the similarities are there people who watch this are so are just sick
you know my wife my wife
said i mean my wife likes to send me instagram reels she sent me one the other
day it was like
it started off it goes this child's eyes were glued shut women like to watch
like we watch like beheading
videos right you know and people shitting or whatever but the stuff that women
watch is actually
way more sick it's sick you know they want it well disability kids disabled
kids well the thing
there's shows on tiktok that show the most deformed people that are all in like
relationships yeah and it
really makes you feel sad if you're not in a relationship because you see
people who are like
truly like it'll just be a head with feet and they'll be like this person is in
a relationship
you'll be at some guy in india who's like a snake yeah it's the body of a snake
and his wife's a
mongoose yeah and then this is his wife and she's like a normal looking person
so this is the boyfriend meeting the parents oh yeah this is great sean now it
doesn't help that
her bedroom is decorated like a like an eight-year-old yeah and what do y'all
plan on doing
i've been talking to this guy named dan recently and we've been talking for a
bit and he's actually
visited once what are you supposed to feel watching this what is the audience
what is like
what do they want you to like get out of this you know i mean how do we know
she's not an eight-year-old
by the way what if it comes out she's eight yeah yeah the whole thing about her
23 that was a lie
that's the season finale that's the season for that she's like we're kidding
around yeah you are a pedophile
tlc dan remember how shauna always needed lube and she would she would cry
after you came inside of her
she would just yeah that's because she was a kid here at tlc nathan for you it's
a new nathan for
you it's a new season for you let's watch a little bit more of this this is
this long and this is
also be the first time he's meeting my mom so how often do you guys talk
i don't know but then why are the parents like vetting him like he like they're
like a muslim family
you know what it is the parents know that whoever walks through that door is a
problem is a problem
they know uh whoever walks through that door is a a normal male is not dating
her yeah sorry yeah
shauna yeah a normal male right who doesn't have any problems right is not
going to date a girl who
appears to be oh so you guys are going to chili's tonight can i just see your
browsing history really
yeah yeah could uh okay tell us about your last relationship yeah last
relationship
i'm not really irritated by my family when they bring up those future questions
i haven't talked
about it with dan i'm kind of letting it go as it may but it's nice to kind of
try to see if you can
answer it why do we have to label anything so it's a question mark or now what
are you going to do in 30
years when she looks like she's 12. yeah i just don't understand number one is
this girl going to
live yeah right that's a question right how long is she going to live like i
don't know she has some
type of condition and it may be fatal um that's kind of weird they're making
sushi okay that's kind of a
red flag odd just go get just go get it just go support the asian community why
would you make sushi
well you know why he doesn't want the embarrassment of sitting down at a table
with her right and having
every japanese person yeah whatever you might get your head cut off with a
samurai sword yeah because
they're really into honor over there well they'll think it's the daughter and
they'll be like happy
birthday yeah yeah yeah all right i mean let's just a little bit more because
this is fascinating okay
i definitely think all those questions scared dan just a little bit like i feel
like he tensed up just
slightly when my mom walked in just cut you think that at some point you might
settle down and
kind of base yourself in one place and then travel when you i don't know i'll
see i think
traveling will always be a big part of my life so i'll always be going
somewhere yeah i'm out running
the police yeah i just really like places like indonesia thailand you know a
lot traveling because
sometimes i get a knock on the door and it's a bunch of men and they want to
see my computer so you
know a lot to get around afghanistan's really fun this time of year i got a
friend who's a warlord
yeah he's got a beautiful house in kabul this is not is this her sister i think
so questions i'm tied now
i'm like they're just rapid firing questions at you well i guess what would be
yeah i'm gonna ask another question what would be the expectation if you and
shauna and one daughter
looks like she's at the other vote for hillary clinton get along get along if
something buds
yes something buds is the expectation like for her to travel with you or um
yeah one thing i'd love
to gift to shauna is the ability to see the world in different cultures yeah
the planes are tied and
are very small and the hotel rooms are very also very small and they have rules
in those countries about
who you can travel with you know they don't really have the attitude like to do
here i don't get the
kind of looks i'm trying to take your daughter out for a nice meal it's mostly
business
yeah taller and they treat people like human beings they're not nosy about
everything
i'd love to show us somewhere amazing around the world
i think dan would be a really good match for shauna because he's very smart
adventurous shauna's smart
not very adventurous i think that he could pull her out of the comfort zone but
still
make her feel safe jesus christ look at this lineup of people look at this
lineup of freaks on dlc
what the is are they couldn't join are they going to are they going to bring
out the indian doctor
for my 600 pound life you are a pedophile my friend my friend you want to
children this is very bad my
friend now all that actually i'll she's 23. yeah nobody she looks like she's
eight stop cut the
stop with the
but but i would love to just go into a development meeting at tlc yeah would
there be anything off
limits can we do that can we d