Name: The Negotiator | The Tim Dillon Show #345
Uploaded: 2023-05-07T01:00:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Negotiator | The Tim Dillon Show #345' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Negotiator | The Tim Dillon Show #345' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-07. Transcript available.

The Negotiator | The Tim Dillon Show #345

check check jews jews jewish people is it popping just funny like an alt-right
podcasting like sound checks you know they're like white white people
people white people jews is it popping when i say jewish people
um that's a bit we're doing about with an alt-right podcast we're doing a sound
check
uh welcome to the tim dylan show thank you very much for listening for watching
for consuming
for digesting this content thanks to those two dudes harry and chris that came
on for our little
bonus episode we had fun we had so much fun hanging out with them they're
awesome fucking dudes they
do trigger a lot of people that supposedly can't be triggered it's the right-wing
people
got so mad and they're young they're in their early 20s and they're yelling
about biden and they do it
in a cringy way but that's the point that's the whole point look at all the
attention that you're
giving them and they're actually off you know when they're not going like biden's
you know biden's
coming bitches which is what they do which i get um they're awesome dudes and
now we're all uh friends
so uh you know and no one's happy about it i'm sure like their people are not
happy
about it and my people might not love it but and everyone's like oh you
destroyed them i'm like we
had a an argument i don't think they were destroyed there's people that will
agree with them there's
people that'll agree with me am i a better talker yeah i'm fucking 38 and i get
paid millions of
dollars every year to talk i hope i'm better than a 20 year old tick tocker
that doesn't mean i'm right
i'm right for other reasons that's the thing about debates debates aren't who's
right or wrong it's who
can talk and i can talk but awesome dudes and respect the hell out of them for
coming on the show
and you know really cool and i'm gonna i'll make a tick tock with them when i'm
when we're
in the same area but let's talk now about this wga strike it is directly
affecting me
these are the issues i care about these are the issues i have deals in this
town now because i got
something going on i got something going on now for the first time in years and
uh people are
we're excited about projects and these projects have they've grinded to a halt
because of the wga the writers guild of america and i support them i'm in full
solidarity with them
however i do have to maybe try to negotiate something because i don't have
faith that the people doing
this are going to be able to do it so i have to do it um the writers guild is
angry because they're not
they're not making the money they want to make and the streamers netflix amazon
paramount hulu disney
fox fox and others they have the money and the writers go we want more of the
money so
here is the demands of the writer now i this is the way i look at the strike
number one
there's not a ton of great entertainment on tv right now or in the streamers
right now there's not
there's not an amazing amount right there's not a lot of it that's great
now so you know that's that's something that we all have to acknowledge too
during this strike
we are in a recession disney just laid off 7 000 jobs ibm's laying off jobs ai's
taking over a lot of
people's jobs a lot and the show and people go but can ai write la brea the
show about the hole
that opened in los angeles where people fall through it and are they end up
somewhere else
could ai do that and the answer is perhaps the answer is could ai could
artificial intelligence
write the show uh la brea about people falling through a hole into a different
world and then
falling in love and getting angry at each other could that happen perhaps i don't
know i don't know
what we are seeing now is a you know ai has now become real chat sheet bt is
real the idea of uh this
is not as far off as it once was this is actually something that you could
imagine writing shows so
this is what they want the pattern of demands is a constitutionally required
statement of general
objectives these are the general objectives increase minimum compensation
significantly to
address the devaluation of writing in all areas of television new media and
features
no we can't do that that one we can't do that's i'm speaking now for i'm
speaking now
because i know because i know because these are my friends the billionaires i'm
speaking now for them
because i wear the glasses that they wear do you understand do you have a furry
polo thing that's 3x
and it was bought uh in a bin and eyes i'm going to tell you what we can do and
what we cannot do
this doesn't mean i'm i'm i'm the person who's representing the billionaires
but i'm for the
writers so it's easy to get confused here i'm in solidarity with the the communists
that don't want
to work i'm kidding it's a comedy podcast i'm in solidarity with writers but i'm
representing the
billionaires in this exercise to help everybody come to the table do you
understand yes or yes
you get it right i want the writers to win even though many of them have called
me a nazi on twitter
i want the writers to win but i'm also representing the billionaires first
first demand increased minimum
compensation significantly that cannot no that is not going to happen i
understand why you would want
that we are not going to do that standardized compensation in residual terms
for features
whether released theatrically or on streaming this is an interesting one also
know also know because we
can't if it's on streaming or if it's in the feature it's different it's we don't
know what's going
how it'll all play out so what we need to do is not establish any type of
uniform standard about
how much money you should get paid address the abuses of many rooms now i like
this we can do this put
them now many rooms mean tiny little rooms of tiny writers and they're abused
because they're small
and they put them in a small place and nobody likes that we can do a larger
room for them and i think
that's we can put in the contract right now many rooms become major rooms or
mega rooms we'll take five
or six writers and we'll put them in a very large room and let them do what
they want but
we we cannot pay them anymore ensure appropriate television series writing
compensation throughout
the entire process of pre-production production and post-production meaning
from the from the pilot
to the to the you know oh we're gearing up to do it to the actual doing of it
to so this is it's kind of
like when you think about abortion with the chart and you go you know to 15
weeks and this and that and
you know post-production is like late-term abortion you know here's what i
think about this i think
we can we can make sure ensure appropriate television series writing
compensation throughout the entire
process we can't do it for the entire process from the people that i've spoken
to we can do it for a week
any week you want and i think this is a good thing whether it's pre-production
post-production
actual production we will for one week during the production make sure you're
appropriately compensated
for one week during the process any the week is up to you but if it takes
17 weeks or something to get something happening it's we can't one week we'll
do it expand span
protections to cover all television writers i don't know what that is and i so
we're not doing it
apply mba minimums to comedy variety programs made for new media like
should a show on snapchat about two people that are dating despite one of them
not having a face
because they're on snapchat you've seen these shows where the person's face
caves in but they have a wife
and they're in india i think that's what this is talking about i don't know
what i imagine this is
talking about is that's a new uh type of uh new media snapchat and that's a
comedy variety show now some
sick fucks will find it funny but it's really a variety program it's like it'll
be a man who's like
a snake it's like he has no bones and he's a snake with a head but he has a
kind of a regular looking
wife she ain't great but those are the shows on snapchat and one of them is
called born different
and it's like somebody who's just goes i don't have a nervous system but i'm
here and this is my wife
and they're saying should people get paid to write this i don't know but maybe
i kind of enjoy them
sometimes so maybe we'll give them money for that increased residuals for under
compensated reuse
markets like when it's you know the thing is we're going to use it again no uh
pension plan and health
fund increased contributions to pension plan and health fund here's the thing
no but because too many of them smoke cigarettes too many writers i see in the
silver lake at the echo
park area are always smoking cigarettes outside of a cafe i don't think we can
increase the contributions
to the health plan for future contracts okay some of this is boring we gotta do
something here where
we're like let's like we're not getting rid of chat gpt you're not getting rid
of ai like a lot of
people are going we want no ai that's what they want right no ai that's not
realistic we can do no people
from the netherlands like no dutch people in a writer's room we can exclude
races of people much
easier than we can exclude artificial intelligence because that's just the that's
the new game in town
but we could say like no eastern europeans because they creep everyone out that's
fair let's negotiate
along those terms now what are the top shows on tv right now this is how we're
going to make this
decision because sag is going to strike the union i'm a member of i'm the
screen actors guild i'm an actor
on the screen like unlike many of you i'm an actor on the screen and i'm and i'm
uh participating in uh
in many of different projects right now um
so i don't know i'm just saying
i'm looking at these shows and this is what is that beef with ali wang she's
done well huh
why don't i have more asian fans to be honest all i do is talk about china how
much i love china
my chinese godson and you know matt reif they're saying has all these asian
fans
this is what i'm being told is matt reif now is huge in china and i'm nowhere
i'm not i like matt reif but does he know who president z is
i do nothing but advocate for z and i have nothing no asians come very few asians
one asian fan to me
is worth a thousand whites it's true so if you come to my show and you're asian
man i am um i'm
happier than you'll ever know well i hope the writer's strike is okay i don't
know what's going to happen
but i i'm just saying that it's going to be it's going to be pretty difficult
to get everybody to the
table because i think when the writers have a good point these streamers are
making a lot of money
let's see what all of these people make because the writers keep focusing on
the ceos of these companies
like david zaslav and uh ted sarandos at netflix shout out to ted my specials
on there i'm not even
talking to these hoes ted but you know everybody is like you know what's the
average salary of a tv
writer in america 62 000 a year that's the average yeah that's not great
but i know a lot of them that make a lot more but i i understand what they mean
they want more money
it's fair now go to there's a chart here that'll show you what all the ceos of
the streamers make
you can easily find it because that's what these writers are saying they're
like why should this guy
who's running warner brothers make more than me i'm the fourth writer on abbott
elementary
why should the guy who runs warner brothers make more money than me i wrote on
a failed pilot three
years ago about uh a gym teacher um who discovered uh square dancing and got
all the kids to square
dance and hulu bought it but it didn't work and i don't know why i don't also
have a yacht
ari emmanuel ceo of endeavor 308 million david zaslav discovery ceo and this is
what they all made
last year 246 million bob eiger 45 million bob chay pack disney 32 million eiger's
disney as well
murdoch 31 million at fox reed hastings 40 million at netflix sarandos 38
million at net