Name: K5 & Digidog | The Tim Dillon Show #362
Uploaded: 2023-09-25T00:34:27.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'K5 & Digidog | The Tim Dillon Show #362' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'K5 & Digidog | The Tim Dillon Show #362' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-25. Transcript available.

K5 & Digidog | The Tim Dillon Show #362

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the tim dillon show uh we are it's migrant
crisis here in new
york city um there's a lot of uh migrants that are coming in and it's tough for
everyone i guess
i don't know it's not it's it's not affected me but it's bad and it's getting
worse and it's the
new ellis island hundreds of migrants flood into new york city's roosevelt
hotel uh as big apple
becomes epicenter of the border crisis and mayor eric adams says he'll ask
judge to suspend right
to shelter rules what the mayor's doing now i think with a lot of the people
that are and this seems to
be the biggest issue that uh the world is going to face over the next however
many years outside of
climate and technology the biggest issue seems to be mass migration of people
from you know
countries that are unstable to countries that are also unstable like ours you
know they're going to
come from uh a degree of instability to to a uh a more polished degree of
instability but this is going
to be the biggest issue uh it's the reason for brexit it's the reason probably
for uh a lot of the
political upheaval you see throughout europe um this has been the issue that
everybody's talking about
it's how many immigrants migrants refugees whatever the term is can a society
absorb uh uh before the
society kind of buckles and starts to break down and um it's tough for new york
because everybody in new
york is predominantly pretty progressive and they all want to do the right
thing and but it this is uh you
know people don't like it they don't like it it becomes a burden and then you
have like the whispers
happening from all the good people that want to do the right thing uh but they
start whispering
about their block my r block has gotten
and they would these are not people that would vote for trump these are not
people that are watching
fox news these are it's new york and they live on the upper west side of manhattan
um but you know
they put migrants in hotels they put some of them uh you know some of these new
condos that people spend a
lot of money on a part of the building is being utilized for uh either low-income
housing or to kind of
house um migrants that are coming in and then people you know and you talk to
real estate agents they'll go
you go that building looks cool and they go oh no no no no no no no no no they
go not that building they go
that bits they have low-income housing they take the same elevator so there's a
lot of whispering going on
in uh in uh in in those areas in new york where people are uh uh pretty upset
that uh their neighborhoods
are seemingly uh being overrun with people they don't recognize that's becoming
now they would never
say that publicly and they take great pains to avoid that uh you know
characterization of it they won't say
that quite they'll be like well it's just it's a lot of people and you know
they need help but it's it's
just it doesn't make sense and i you know and so eric adams the mayor has
gotten hit on this they're
putting them in hotels they have been the roosevelt hotel um you know so now he's
gonna axe the right
to shelter mandate he's gonna go nope we do not have to provide housing to
people that need it
because new york has a mandate where it's like if you ask for a bed we gotta
find you a bed
if you ask for housing we gotta give you housing um new york city uh 11 000
asylum seekers went to
miami 15 000 went to la no one even noticed uh 15 000 went to houston and then
41 000
came to new york city and so now i think eric adams i think the rule is now he's
cut it down to like 60
days i think it's 30 or 60 days in the shelter so you you get here you have
nothing you know nobody
you're coming from a country that's in turmoil and you have 60 days to figure
new york out
60 days see this is why you know you lose faith very quickly in the people
running things because
at every moment they make the worst decisions like for example you might be
against new york city taking
on migrants but here's what you really should be against taking them on for 60
days and then throwing
them in the street there couldn't be a worse policy than taking people for 60
days and then telling
them that they hopefully they figured it out well you've had 60 days have you
learned the language do you
you have a job you have a down payment saved can you work they're not even
going to get a work permit in
60 days they're set up for failure they're set up to go into to be homeless or
to do some type of
crime to just survive so it's weird and there's a backlash because people are
like listen man
you know this is going to make it worse uh the roosevelt hotel the paul hotel
and the paramount hotel
are among the hotels designated for housing migrants in manhattan there's long
lines of
migrants mostly men from africa are now often seen outside the storied
locations and this is what
people are not digging they don't dig uh a bunch of people in their community
that are on the street
long lines you know people start to notice they go what's going on starting to
look a little third
world but they don't they whisper that they don't say it loudly they go i just
i you know i'm i try to
understand you know these poor people i feel i feel sorry for them there's lots
of restaurants
in manhattan right now where there's a white woman with a glass of wine going i
think this is horrible
what's happening to these people but i just don't know what good it is having
them stand outside of this
hotel up my block i don't know how does it help them and of course there are
the people that are
being uh very uh vocal about this there are protesters who are surrounding the
roosevelt hotel where eric
adams is housing hundreds of migrants and then screaming send them back which
is this is unnecessary
i think i don't know if this helps but there are people screaming send them
back uh let's let's see this clip
yeah so this is not this is not ideal and uh
all right it's not that many people but it's it's uh they're angry they're
angry and they're unhappy
and uh there's nothing more they can uh do except yell and um is curtis leeway
now involved this guy
well curtis leeway by the way is one of the famous criminals in new york liars
um who's made up fake
instances of crime that he solved people saved people from um he's a colorful
character but he's a you know
he just makes shit up it's a little hassan minaj action where it's like he
believes in the emotional
truth of the scenario and let's see what he has to say he's always excited when
there's something he
doesn't have to make up curtis leeway he literally made up stories uh of crimes
on the subway that were
happening where he would jump in and save people with his group the guardian
angels so now he gets
really excited when there's real news and he is he's a mayoral candidate and he's
angry about the
the migrants and what let's see what his solution is we will make them pay for
what they have done to us
that's like an old hippie holding that it's so funny you see like there's like
an old hippie holding
the no mic the the greatest uh thing you've seen over the last like i don't
know let's say
four years has been like hippies becoming die-hard republicans like old like
ben and jerry style
protesting the vietnam war hippies are now at these marches with like the america
first people
certainly it's it's a long line many of those hippies who lived to this point
have now gone uh
right wing i don't know what this does i don't think this helps anybody
uh screaming uh screaming send them back and no migrants these people have
nothing and one of the
reasons they have nothing is that we went around the world destabilizing a lot
of their countries
we went around pursuing this crazy policy of like regime change in libya in syria
all these places that
have sent boatloads of people into europe this is not news to anyone that doesn't
mean that we can take in the
the entire world but i don't the complexity of that seems to be lost on these
people that are in the
street with signs as it usually is um and the migrants what's funny is the
migrants are actually
the ones that are in the hotels it was an article i think it was in the post
and they're they're talking
about uh they're talking about how unhappy they are with the food they like any
everything else but
they're basically like hey like this one woman goes we came here uh she's a russian
she goes we came
here to avoid mobilization for the war said lila uzmanov who fled russia with
her husband and she
goes we have three kids 16 10 and three we don't want to fight against our own
ukrainians or russians
same people she goes we're grateful to the u.s government but complained that
the food the city was providing
at the swanky hotel turned shelter was less than nutritious my husband and i
have high blood sugar
and the food isn't very good for us our kids don't want to eat it she also
added come here in the
evening and you will see a giant pile of wasted food they're throwing out 90 of
the food here isn't
eaten well welcome to america welcome this is uh you're gonna get poisoned they're
gonna get put another
guy goes you've been here three months it's only temporary until i can get a
work permit and find
some work all i want to do is start working and build a life he said of the
shelter this is a huge help
it's clean it's safe but then he goes on as well to complain about the food he
goes they're good with
the kids they're very attentive but he goes you know listen we can't eat the
food here he goes it's
it's not good it's not good for our kids um you know he goes we don't have a
kitchen the food isn't
good for the kids we would rather make our own food so everybody all of these
uh migrants by the way
these are the most desperate people on the planet at the moment they have
nothing they have nothing and
their main problem is american cuisine that's how bad the food is in this
country that's how
absolutely terrible the food is in this country they would rather starve or go
hungry than eat the food
and god only knows what we're providing them by the way god only knows what
they're getting we're
probably giving them pop tarts and chicken nuggets they are getting what we
feed our children i mean
it's not something that we don't feed our own kids but they're so horrified
which is again it's like
this should wake americans up like americans should get woken up by this they
should go the most desperate
people in the world refuse to eat our food they can't eat the food they go this
is poison they go how is
everyone eating this this is actually poison and americans have been so desensitized
and people a
lot of people have just given up and when you have a family you got to feed
them and you got to go to
grocery stores you got to buy this shit whatever tyson fucking churns out or
whatever dole or whatever
these companies are doing you got to buy it but it's so hilarious to me that
people that are here for
like five minutes eat it and they spit it out they go no no this is
poison we can't we can't give this to our children this is crazy and uh you
know it's i this is like
when we dropped those care packages on afghanistan while they were blowing we
were blowing them up
and they appear and we dropped like you know fun dip and pop tarts on afghans
and they were we were
like go for it don't worry about the war we got you covered here we go and we're
just bombing them with
reese's peanut butter cups and all of those people were just entirely like what
the fuck is it if you
give our food to anyone else no matter how bad their lot in life is if you give
our food to anyone they're
they're stunned they're shocked by it they can't even believe it they don't if
you bring people over
here and these people aren't from europe it's not like they were living in france
they're not wealthy
there's a lot of people that lived in an italian villa these are people that
were ran out of their
country by a flood or a crazy government and they're still going what the fu