Name: Fake Business In San Diego
Uploaded: 2023-11-25T18:33:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fake Business In San Diego' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fake Business In San Diego' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-25. Transcript available.

What do you guys, you seem like a young guy, and you're young, how old are you?
24, what do you do with your life? 24, what's that look like?
24, what do you do? You work, school?
Real estate, could you sell some houses?
You have your own firm?
Development, you have a real estate development firm at 24 years old.
That's it. You started a real estate development firm at 24 years old.
By yourself.
No one in the family said it?
Your dad's here.
That's the craziest thing I've ever heard.
He has a job. He just works at a job.
There's nothing wrong with that.
His dad is a real estate development firm, and he works there.
There's nothing wrong with that.
He probably works from home.
He jerks off, and he goes into the living room, and signs on, and does a Zoom
meeting.
It's like, but I asked him what he did for a living, and with a straight face,
with a straight face, he looked in my eyes, and he goes, I have a real estate
development firm, and I go, you started it?
He goes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I did.
And then I go, so no one else in your family works there?
And then I go, and you go, and you're like, my dad does.
So does your dad work for you?
Are you employing the old man?
Is that what it is?
Is he running on tough times?
You're like, pop.
Listen.
In between surfing and getting high in the water, I'm starting a real estate
development firm.
And I'd like you to work for me.
I know you've had a tough time, and I want to bring you into my thing that I'm
doing.
I've got a real estate development firm.
Yeah.
Well, we were skating in a parking lot in Encinitas, and I turned to a few
idiots, and I was skating with them.
And we decided to stop taking Fento for an hour and start a real estate
development firm.
We skipped over selling retail real estate, residential or commercial.
We said that's a waste of our fucking time.
We want to do big business, malls, strip malls, hotels, major real estate
projects.
So I've got a real estate construction business right now that I've started
myself, and I want you to be involved in it.
It's the craziest thing I've ever had.
The confidence of a white 24-year-old from California is insane.
It's insane.
It's amazing.
It's amazing.
It's like, he's like, our governor's a six-year-old fuckboy.
If he lives in a vineyard, I could be a fake real estate developer.
I'll just be a fake real estate developer.
And the way he said it to me, too, was like, I wouldn't understand it.
He's like, well, you're not going to understand this, you scum dog.
You stupid clown.
You won't get it.
I've developed real estate.
I'm a genius.
I'm a fucking, I look at the area, I just look at the numbers immediately.
I'm a fucking genius.
You know, here's what the job really is.
The job really is this.
His father sat down at the kitchen table and went, I don't know what happened
with that girl,
but we've sent two lawyers.
We've sent two lawyers to St. Louis Obispo to get you out of the room for how
we did.
I don't know what you did, but that girl disappeared.
Now, I'm not accusing you of anything.
I love you no matter what happened.
We've all made mistakes.
It's awkward for you to go back to school.
We've spent a lot of money keeping this out of the press, okay?
And she was half Native American.
How do you think that looks?
How do you think that looks?
They're saying in the papers that you raped and killed a Native American,
indigenous woman, my son.
Because you have one last chance
to go work in my real estate development.
There's one last chance, you scumbad.
You're a scumbad rapist.
And you're probably a murderer, too.
You probably killed people.
And then,
a few months later,
he's at a comedy show,
and somebody goes,
what do you do?
And he goes,
I own real estate development.
This went very well.
I'm going to take you to different towns.
I'm going to do this.
It's all bad.
You're going to take you out a few months to go on tour.
I got something good happening here.
I can.
What do you guys do?
What's Thanksgiving?
You guys are brothers, friends?
Friends.
Friends.
What's Thanksgiving like tomorrow with the house?
Yeah.
Where do you live?
What part?
In Santa Fe.
The projects?
Is Rancho Santa Fe nice?
I don't know.
All I know that's nice here is La Hoya.
Because that's all I know.
Because I'm from New York,
and you don't think of San Diego as a real place.
I don't care.
But,
we begrudgingly tolerate San Francisco.
But,
good for you.
Good for you.
Hey, dude.
It's not easy
to be 24 years old
and buy a house in Rancho Santa Fe.
That's not fuck easy, dude.
After you murdered a Native American woman
in San Luis Obispo
and their puppy ate her,
you sick animal fuck.
Some of the women here are just like,
I don't know about this.
Some people here are like,
you can always feel the vibe
if someone's here like.
Here's what's funny.
These seats
are more expensive
than the back.
So,
he's going to get in his car
and I spent that extra $10
to get called a rapist
and a murder.