Name: Den Of Snakes | The Tim Dillon Show #378
Uploaded: 2024-01-20T17:00:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Den Of Snakes | The Tim Dillon Show #378' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Den Of Snakes | The Tim Dillon Show #378' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-20. Transcript available.

Den Of Snakes | The Tim Dillon Show #378

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. We are always grateful to
have you here with us.
Tuning in, my voice raspy as always here, with no smoking for months and months
and months,
and still the rasp, but it's not cigarettes. And I don't think it ever was. I
think it's,
um, I think it is dairy. That's, I think, that's what I figured out, not
smoking cigarettes.
That the real killer, so to speak, dairy. There was a book called Milk, Some
Type of Killer,
but that's, we're not doing that. That's not where we're going. The noose is
tightening. I don't know
if I can even, is that allowed? That one? The noose is tightening? Probably not,
but the noose is
tightening. I'm using it for Arizona white suburban kids, so that's okay. But
there is a noose and it
is tightening on the necks of the Gilbert Goons, the story that we talked about.
We broke on this
show. We broke the story of the Gilbert Goons in Arizona and I was the one
leading the charge to try
to get justice for this sad, this poor child who was killed. And I was leading
the, but also let's give
credit where credit is due to the people of Arizona. I made fun of them lightly,
jokingly,
and they have actually stood up. They've risen up and they've demanded justice
and they forced the
police department that was seemingly covering this up. At the very least, the
police department didn't seem
as motivated as they should have been. And then there were all these theories
about the parents
and the school and the Mormon temple. And I, I don't know what's what.
Um, now there's group of people we know is largely suburban and white, although
one of them is black.
Maybe there's a few of them that are black, but the, was it the New York post
that decided to put
the black guy, like the one or two black guys, this group again, largely white
middle, you know,
upper middle class rich. If you want to buy the standards of Arizona and the
New York post,
look at this affluent, uh, members of an affluent Arizona gang busted in string
of caught on video
attacks on high schoolers. But who do they, who do they have here for the, uh,
front page?
We have a black guy on the front page of the newspaper and there's no pictures
of any of the white people.
So people tend to get maybe confused.
The black guy's name is Mr. Fantastic, which again, it's not helping. That
doesn't help anybody.
Um, but more white kids are going down to do it. It is more of a white thing
than it is a black thing,
but it is the New York post. So they saw an afro and they said, Hey, we're
going, we're going to,
we're running with that. We're going to run with that. But Hey, if this guy's
involved, he's got,
everybody's got to get caught. That does the wrong thing in that part of
Arizona.
So there's all these theories, lurid theories about the parents in Costa Rica
and who's hiding who.
And you go on the reddits and you read and you go on next door and you read and
people have,
and all these kids' names are like Braylon and Taylin and Jalen. And it's all
silly and ridiculous.
And you don't know what's what and who's who. And then the, one of the kids'
mothers seems to be in it.
And she's writing, well, he didn't, he's show me proof that he killed anyone.
And everyone's like,
we know you're his mother in the reddit. They're like, we, you're his mother.
And she's like, no,
I don't even know. Um, but again, show me the proof that he killed. And it's
like such weird mom energy
that it's gotta be the mom. And what a weird time. And it's a boomer.
Probably. Or someone younger than a boomer. But it's just funny, like the idea
that you're on a reddit thread
on a reddit thread, hiding behind an avatar. Well, why don't you show me the
proof that he did? Show me one photo.
DM me the proof. And people are like, Hey, and people are laying out the case
and
she's like arguing. And it's like, why would you care that much? Who cares that
much?
It's gotta be the mom.
Or maybe it's somebody the mom knows or something. And then there's people out
there that are like,
maybe the moms are out there spreading disinfo, like spreading disinformation
and I'm trying to buy the IP. I call CAA. I call these people, you know, and I
call them. I go,
give me the intellectual property rights to this story. It's my fucking story.
If there's a movie
about this, so help me God, this is my story legitimately. And I want justice
for the kid
thousand percent. And I want intellectual property rights to a Netflix thing as
well on this from
legit. I'm telling my, I've texted my agent that I want the intellectual
property rights. This rights
itself. I get ignored in this town, Hollywood, not the town I'm in now, which
is New York, but I'm also
kind of ignored here as well. Some of the people I would like to pay attention
to me, but I'm
ignored in this town because I'm always pitching myself, which is not always
easily digestible.
But I go in there with white suburban kids, Mormons killing in the streets, the
cops covering up.
This is the story I've wanted to pitch my entire life. I go in there, I go, I'm
a fat faggot and I like
Trump a little bit. I mean, I'm thrown out. I get thrown out. That's not what
you do. No one will.
Who's that? Who's buying that? Who's buying that? I got all these, you know,
these lovely people,
lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely Jewish people in the rooms staring at me. I'm
always like someone's wife's
favorite, someone's crazy wife who they like can't bring the cocktail party, stash
her in Palm Beach.
They're always like, my wife loves you. She's down in Palm Beach. She's given
to spells.
We put her down in Palm Beach. She tells me you're great, but we can't. I mean,
we can't write you any
checks here. We can't be involved. We can't do anything with you. But this time
I'm going in and I can tell their eyes
are going to roll when I walk in because I'm, but they enjoy me as a, as some
type of novelty. I'm a fun
break in the day to a lot of these executives. Thank God I have the good people
here, the public, which
is, supports me, you know, but I would go in and their eyes are going to roll.
They're going to go,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We get it. We get it. We get it. We get it. We get it.
We get it.
Yeah. Fat faggot Trump, blah, blah, blah. I go, not this time. This time I have
white suburban
kids, a police coverup, rich people and desert landscapes, which you fucking
love. You people
love shooting things in the desert. Am I right? Am I right? Okay. Sasha or Yale
or any of these
names who I'm pitching, Ben or Yale or Sasha or, you know, did you see that New
York Times?
Get this New York Times article because by the way, I love me some Israel and
some Palestine
and I'm the only one that has the balls to say it. I'm the only one who has the
balls to say
it. I want everyone to thrive and prosper. Okay. The New York Times has this
article. They
come out with this article. We all know the bombing campaign in Gaza has been
insane. The loss of life
is tremendous. There's nothing like it. Andrew Sullivan in a piece on his blog
called it infanticide. It's
hard to argue with that. A genocide is means a deliberate, you know, wiping out
of a race.
That's certainly a different charge. That's in the Hague and people are
debating that.
I'm not, we're not debating genocide today. We're trying to have a nice time of
it. I just got back
from Palm Beach. What I'm saying is when you are killing large amounts of
children indiscriminately,
infanticide does seem somewhat appropriate. So there's a lot of stuff going on
here. A lot of stuff.
And in the front page of the New York Times, we have scope and quality of Gaza
tunnels, all Israelis,
a network as large as 450 miles that has over 5,000 shafts. Now, okay. Okay.
That's a piece of news.
And we get that Hamas has tunnels, but the tremendous bombing campaign, the
insane loss of life
and dislocation of peoples and things like that. And now that this is written,
you gotta, folks,
you gotta, I mean, just for a little, I, I get it, but have a little, just have
one Gentile write the
thing because here's the, who's written this article, by the way, on when, by
the way, everybody's
protesting. I can barely get to my show in DC because of these protests. They're
in New York.
They're everywhere. They're in LA. They're in every major city. Massive
protests. Biden's poll numbers
are crashing. They're calling him genocide, Joe. It's a, it's a nightmare for
the democratic party,
especially among young people. Scope and quality of Gaza tunnels are Israelis.
Now what's funny about
this headline is that the scope of the bombing is on many people too, right?
Around the world. That's
also on people. This article is written by Adam Goldman, Ronan Bergman, and Gal
Koppelwitz. It's
like, and then Patrick Kingsley, we throw in the Gentile. Guys, I mean, I
understand, but just in the idea of
objectivity, throw in a Billy O'Brien, throw in Tommy Iannucci in there. This
article about the Hamas
tunnels was written by Tommy Iannucci and Billy O'Brien. Instead of, this is
almost like in Windy City
Heat, Saul Steinbergowitz, the character of the agent, whose name is Saul Steinbergowitz.
And Windy City
Heat, he goes, God, I got really fucked. Saul Steinbergowitz fucked me. This is
kind of the vibe of that. A
little bit. I'm just saying, throw in something a little different. Throw in a
Tommy Perez, Perez Lopez,
something. Something. Something. A little different. But I'm saying I want this
IP for this story because
it is my story that I own, that I've brought attention to, and that finally I
could go in
to these companies with something that fucking, for Christ, they might make.
Because it's rich white
people being, uh, murderers in the, in the desert landscape. Nice desert
landscape, purple sunsets.
It's, uh, kids on dirt bikes. It's their mothers. Everybody's there covering it
up. They own a gym
or whatever. I'm not saying they do. I'm not saying, I'm not, I'm not saying it.
Don't sue me. I'll sue you.
I will sue you too. I'll sue you too. But I'm saying, give me this IP. I hope
my agent is on this,
but they always yes me to death. They always yes me to death, these people. And
then send me to Reno.
They're like, you're going to Reno. Which I have no problem with. But what I'm
saying is finally a story
that makes sense for Tim Dillon to, to be the steward of. I bring in great
writers.
Every, I'll bring in, I will bring in, I will make this thing perfect. This
will be perfect. And we'll
telegraph it. What meaning that art now, we need to tell you what the themes
are because you're so
stupid out there. Not you, but you are so dumb out there that we need to tell
you what's happening
during the thing. Nobody in the, in, in girls, I watched the pilot of that and
Lena Dunham,
you know, for all her other issues is we did a great job with that show. And
the pilot's very funny
and all these things like white privilege, you know, whatever, economic
privilege, whatever you want
to talk about, right? They're all in there. Misogyny. They're all in there, but
nobody's telegraphing
it. Nobody's telling you what is happening moment to moment because back in the
early days of 2010
or whenever that was 2012, people trusted something to convey a message without
banging you over the
head. But I won't do that with this. I will bang you over the head. Right
before they kill the kid,
they will go and we'll get away with this because we're white men. And then
they do it. I will tell,
I will bang you over the head with the message. You will, it will not be lost.
Give me the IP.
Give me the IP. It will not be lost on you. It will not be lost. Everyone that
sees this will know
exactly what it is. But with this, and I know I'm being facetious, but I'm not
because I want the IP.
I'm dead serious about this. This is my ticket and not, listen, don't
misunderstand. This is a tragedy.
And I'm calling for that. I want these kids to go to jail and convert to Islam
season two, but no,
I want them all in jail, death penalt