Name: Breaking Down The Tucker Carlson Vladimir Putin Interview #381
Uploaded: 2024-02-15T17:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Breaking Down The Tucker Carlson Vladimir Putin Interview #381' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Breaking Down The Tucker Carlson Vladimir Putin Interview #381' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-15. Transcript available.

It's interesting because Putin called me, you know, and we don't talk as much
as we used to.
And it is fun when he calls.
And he has, here's the thing about him, he has a subtle, very subtle sense of
humor.
And I appreciate that because I'm more gregarious and that's why it always
worked as a friendship.
Because friendships need to kind of have those opposite components.
And his clan is from St. Petersburg, and I know more people in Moscow, but we
do have, certainly there's an overlap.
And he called me and said, I'm going to have Tucker on.
And I said, I said, go.
I said, you know what?
I said, do a whole thing.
I said, give him a dissertation.
And he goes, no.
I go, do it.
And he did it.
That's for the people that think that I really know Putin.
That there are people that watch your show that think that Russia pays me.
Because I've questioned the, I've questioned our policy, our dedicated policy
of nuclear war.
The American defense establishment's dedicated policy of more nuclear war.
I watched the interview.
Favorite part was when Putin was like, hey.
He said to Tucker, he goes, hey.
Thank God you didn't get into the CIA.
Because Putin doesn't respect anyone who doesn't have real power.
And what's cool about that moment is Putin actually respects, like, the CIA.
Because he said, you know, they were always our enemies.
But he goes, a job's a job.
And he kind of smiles.
You know, because if all you fight against is the CIA, you kind of have a
respect for them.
Which is what Putin, you know, his entire life, he's been fighting against this
one group of people.
Right?
And the way he said that to Tucker, he's got, you know, Putin doesn't care
about people in the media.
He doesn't, I don't think he really respects the media.
This is not, you know, so when he said that, he's like, oh, thank God you didn't
get into the CIA.
He was basically like, I would have respected you if you were here to poison me.
Because that's the type of guy he is.
And that's the thing.
Here's why Putin is, even though he is, murders people, here's what's
interesting about Putin.
He's not on TikTok.
This is what we like about Putin.
He's a relic of another age.
Let's say that about him.
He's an armchair philosopher.
He's grandpa.
If, you know, grandpa had hundreds of nuclear weapons.
He's a relic.
He's not really interested in the new media landscape.
We can say that.
That's not, he's not interested in that.
What Putin, Putin orients himself from his position.
He's, the first answer was 30 minutes.
He goes, this is why I believe what I believe.
Is it junk?
Was he filibustering?
Is it whatever?
None of that matters because this is the guy.
This is his perspective.
You don't live in Russia.
So the reality of the situation is, my interest is that America doesn't go to
war with Russia in a capacity with nuclear weapons.
And my interest is that America doesn't instigate a wider war in that part of
the world that becomes a war that we're fighting.
This is my instinct.
This is not a veneration of his world view per se, although there are certain
things he says, which I completely get it.
And there's certain things he says where I go, okay, I was a debate guy.
I know kind of what he's doing.
But that moment was my favorite when he kind of, he kind of has that aw shucks
moment.
Because the fun of his life is over, by the way.
The fun of his, like he, he's at the top of the mountain.
It's very lonely.
He's got the big desk.
But I'm not comparing myself to Putin.
I wish.
That, if I was on a Zempick and it really worked, perhaps.
But, no, what basically, the thing about Putin is at this point, he's only
living for Russia.
Or what he thinks Russia is.
Like, he, you know, his friends are all older.
They're all dying.
The excitement of his life, being a spy, climbing the ranks, fucking the women,
killing the people.
Your life almost being taken all the time.
That's kind of over.
That's over.
It, it's now become, now he's, of course, trying to outrun these coups.
That's why the Pergosian thing, he probably felt alive again for the first time.
He's like, oh, I got to kind of take this plane out of Moscow.
He probably felt alive.
He said, this feels like the old, I guarantee you, at some point to one of his
friends, he said something like, oh, it feels like the old days.
Feels like the old day.
Because he's had absolute power over there for a while.
And he's, it gets boring.
And that's why people are like, the, oh, this interview is boring.
That's what everyone said.
It's boring.
I don't like it.
It's not fun.
That was the critique of the interview.
It's boring.
It's not fun.
It's not interesting.
It's boring.
Where's the back and forth?
Where's the yelling?
I want them to yell at each other.
Yeah, it's a little dry.
It's a little dry.
It's a little dry, but that's what it is.
What do you think Putin, like all these people, this is what's interesting
about the QAnon cult.
The QAnon people, again, not all wrong.
We know that.
But they're wildly speculative about most things.
And they're just downright insane about others.
That there are body doubles.
People have died.
But they've been replaced.
JFK Jr. is coming back.
But by the way, you want to talk about if JFK Jr. is alive and he comes back
and he runs with Michelle Obama.
It's over.
It will be over.
But what I mean by the QAnon cult is that politics by its very nature is boring.
I think the hardest thing for us in our society to wrap our heads around is
that there is a banality to the evil that we see in the world.
It is not nearly as exciting as we think it's ancient blood cults and shape-shifting
lizards and all the things.
But what it really is is the cold marble floors of a bank in Geneva.
It's the high heels of a woman walking across the cold marble floors of a bank
in Geneva.
It's a very short phone call on a line that people assure each other isn't
being tapped.
It's a lunch where people are very vague about their intentions, but there's an
underlying discomfort.
There is a banality to it.
That's where obviously the phrase, the banality of evil.
And we just aren't built like that.
So much of American culture has been imagined by Hollywood in spurts of two
hours and hours on TV or half hours even.
And there are three lines that have beginning, middle, and end.
And they are filled with intrigue.
And it's not to say that there is an intrigue in the world.
It's not to say that things aren't interesting.
But that's really what it is.
It's not these—it's this guy's talking about czars.
He's talking about Vladimir being—this guy being baptized.
Like, the greatest—one of the other great moments is Tucker's like, where are
we now?
And Putin's like, 1500s.
He's like, 1500s.
You know, you will fall asleep.
That is—most of the things where people are being killed, if you were to get
a full accounting of them, you would go to sleep.
This is not an episode of a show you like.
This is not White Lotus.
We're at the end of eight episodes.
We're like, who kills who?
White Lotus, you know the body's there.
It's in episode one, so you know it's all heading somewhere in episode eight.
But if I were to sit down, and not that I would do it, but if a scholar were to
explain to you the Israel-Palestine conflict or Russia-Ukraine—you'd be in
bed.
You'd be in bed.
You're killing each other.
Wait, what?
Prince Philip?
Vladimir being baptized, the Cossacks or whatever, it's—it's boring.
And then I think people just have this idea, and you could see there were
certain moments in the Putin interview, because my interest isn't politics, it's
always the human angle.
There was just certain moments, and that was really one of them, where Putin's
like, a job's a job.
And the way he said that, you know, he was basically saying, that was the fun
of my life.
That was the excitement of my life.
The funnest part of when you're a comedian, a lot of times, is when you're
running around open mics, not knowing what will happen.
And you have all these people, and you're all on the same level, and you're all
running around eating slices of pizza, and you're all broke, and you're all
trying to figure out how to be a comedian.
Not to say that you don't find fun throughout your career.
You do.
But it changes.
There's more pressure.
There are expectations.
Sacrifices are greater.
They're more real.
In the very beginning, you sacrifice almost nothing.
You're, you know, the expectations are very low.
You're having a lot of fun.
I think in Putin's world, when he was a spy, and he didn't know that the future
of Russia is resting on his shoulders and his mind, he had a lot more fun.
It was a lot more fun.
And you could see that when he goes, they were always our enemies, but a job is
a job.
He's like, they, without them, what are we?
What are we?
What are we?
What are we?
He has a respect for the enemy.
He does not respect media.
He does not respect interview.
He does not care.
He, in the beginning, he goes, are we having a show?
We're going to have a talk.
Because if we're going to have a talk, I'm going to talk for 30 minutes.
You're going to be bored.
Some of your viewers will tune out.
I don't care.
I don't respect you, and I don't respect them, because I'm one of the very few
people on the planet that has a nuclear arsenal.
I respect those people.
Just like when he said, I don't speak to Biden, but our agencies talk.
We have communication.
They say to me, that nuclear test is not about you.
I say the same thing to them.
Our agencies talk.
They talk.
So, seeing the kind of light, his eyes lit up only a few times, but during the
interview when he said, yeah, they were always our enemies, but a job's a job.
You could tell.
And I felt, dare I say, oh no, they're coming for me now if I say, dare I say,
I felt a little sorry for him.
Because he's locked away in that palace.
He's locked away in the palace.
And he's basically got, in his mind, the history of the Russian state on his
shoulders.
You know?
And it's not that much fun, probably.
He's not having that much fun.
And then for that second, he remembered, you know, back when it was fun, me and
the guys, people are trying to kill us, we're trying to kill them, we're trying
to turn assets, they're trying to turn us.
It's a deadly game, but it's their game.
You know?
It's their game.
And he goes, yeah, job's a job.
He respects that.
There was something interesting to me about that.
I'm familiar with his rationale for the Ukraine war.
I didn't need to know that.
I'm familiar with that.
I'm familiar with most of it.
His history lesson in the beginning, obviously, became a little bit of a
surprise.
I don't know all of that.
But I kind of know exactly why he's, his worldview, I'm aware of it.
But the human moments that dripped out where he goes, yeah, it was a fun, we
had fun.
You know, a job's a job.
They were always our enemy.
We were always going against them.