Name: Tim Recaps Biden's State Of The Union Address #383
Uploaded: 2024-03-12T05:35:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Recaps Biden's State Of The Union Address #383' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Recaps Biden's State Of The Union Address #383' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-12. Transcript available.

Joe Biden looked good. He did. He looked very good. I mean, he's old. We know
he's old,
but whatever he's on, whatever drug that they have him on is working, it worked.
You know, I mean, he was a little overboard with like Russia's marching through
Europe. And
I'm not commenting on the substance of what he said, but the
the aesthetic was like, this guy came to f***ing party. He was doing crowd work.
He was
going off script, going back and forth with Marjorie Taylor Greene.
I didn't know if he was going to be, yeah, he had a couple of flubs that were
troubling,
but we're used to them. It's all about getting people used to the thing.
Everybody gets used to the thing that the press, like, uh, George W. Bush also
couldn't speak
and he would make up words. And then it just became like, oh, it's fun. It's
fun.
You know? So his Biden's thing is going to be, you know, every now and then he's
going to go,
you know, he's going to stop. He's going to look like he's dead. He's going to
search for a word.
He could not find. And then he'll eventually get it. And you're going to be
kind of hanging on in that
moment. There was a few times during the state of the union where you were like,
it's almost done.
It's almost over. Come on. You got this. You got it. And you were hanging on to
his word.
You know, you're like, whoa, what are you going for? And he goes, yeah, you got
on a plane.
We'll go to my, I'll take it to Moscow. And then he goes, well, not Moscow. He
goes, but,
but he goes, maybe Moscow. Like he, he doubled back. He saved it. So that's
what's going to end in the
debate. I mean, whoa, the debates are going to be just oof, like hanging on for
dear life
to every word he says, but it's made him kind of exciting again. His ability to
go in and do
90% of it. And then the other 10%, you're, you're like, how bad could this get?
How off the rails
could this get? Kind of makes him exciting. And you're kind of like, oh, it's
kind of interesting.
Cause there was a few times, there were a few moments during a largely coherent
speech.
There were a few moments when he, it was deer in headlights.
He didn't know where he was going. He didn't know why he had arrived at where
he was.
He was lost. You know, you could see it. You could go, he goes, how did I even
get here?
Forget like where I go next. How did this happen? You know, one of them was
when Marjorie Taylor
Green was like, say her name. And then he said the name of the woman killed by
the illegal.
What's her name? Lyle Lacey, Lincoln Riley. He's like, Lincoln Riley. Killed by
an illegal.
And then he was lost for a minute. Cause he's like, how did, how did this
happen? Do you have
that moment? I think so. Yeah. Let's see if we have that moment. Cause for a
minute, he's
like, how, how am I here? How did I get to Lincoln Riley? But all in all, a
phenomenal job
from a guy who is a corpse, whatever drug, I think it's called the Lazarus drug.
I think
this is a drug that they put people on at the end when they're in like, it's
stage four, but
they still have to be the president. Like this is the final, this is what they've
got. Make
no mistake. What he is on is the best they can do. That guy at that podium is,
you will
not get that guy any other time. You might get it in a debate. Did you see when
he was
having ice cream talking about Israel and Gaza? You're not going to get that
guy in the ice
cream shop. You're not getting them in the oval office when he kind of doesn't
know what's
happening. You're getting him very, very rarely. That level of energy, that
level of clarity.
Except for, again, a few, because nothing's perfect. No drug is perfect. Let's
take a look at
this. Not really. Here he goes. Go to the pin. Go to the pin. Lincoln, Lincoln
Riley, an innocent
young woman who was killed by an illegal. Good. He says illegal. That's right.
But how many of thousands
of people being killed by legal? To her parents, I say, my heart goes out to
you having lost children
myself. I understand. Good. He brings it back to him. How good was that? No,
but that was good.
I was shocked. I was on the couch going, who the is this? Lincoln, Lincoln
Riley. And he's like,
she was killed by an illegal. Everybody's like, okay. And then he's like, then
he brings it back
to him. He's like, and I, my heart goes out to you having lost children myself
and everyone has to
quiet down. But then he's kind of now watch. Can we watch a little more?
Because now he kind of
doesn't quite know where he is right after that moment. Right after that moment,
he's a little
confused. He's a little befuddled because, you know, you interrupted his flow.
He's been practicing
this speech, you know, every single day and they interrupted him. Marjorie
Taylor Greene interrupted
his flow. And then he's like, so then the moment after that, he's a little all
over the place. Like
he's not, but I mean, I was shocked. It's not about him. It's not about me. I'd
be a winner.
Not really. There it is. See, there he goes. Where is he? Where is he? What do
you get? Get the
pin. Get the pin. Get the pin. Get the gavel. Morgan and Morgan. Lincoln.
Lincoln Riley. That's
right. An innocent young woman who was killed. They should always have things
for him. That's
right. They should always have visual aids and props for him, by the way. To
your parents, I say, my heart
goes out to you having lost children myself. Pick something else up. But look,
if we change the
dynamic at the border, this is right. People pay people, people pay these smugglers
8,000 bucks
to get across the border. Keep going, Pop. They know if they get by. Oh, boy.
If they get by. Yep. And let
into the country. We're there. We're almost there. Six to eight years before
they have a hearing. That's
correct. And it's worth taking the chance of the 8,000 bucks. Yeah, we're
getting there. Let's start to wrap
it up. If it's only six months, six weeks. Whatever. The idea is. Come on in.
Unlikely that people will pay
that money. Come back to us. Come all that way. That's right. They'll be able
to be kicked out. That's
right. Okay. So it's, it's moments like that. You're on the edge of your seat
going, where will
it go? But I like the idea of, hey, he has a pin. During the debates, give him
visual aids. Give him
props. Let him pick something up and remind himself of what he's talking about.
If he has to reference
somebody who was murdered, put, make a pin for all of the things he has to
write. China
should be a pin. He picks it up and goes, China, Taiwan, Taiwan's a pin.
Everything should be
a pin. I like him with a visual aid. He likes it. He needs it. I want it. I
like him going
to like a Gallagher-esque bag, if you will. Pulling out props, pulling out
things. Here we go.
Take a look at what I got. He's got a big map of the border. He's, he gives it
to Kamala. There's,
you know, he's got a big map. This is a good gag. It also buys him time. He,
you know, he's on a
delay and the drugs are only working so well. So any type of, you know, prop
bag of wacky gadgets
he can bring out during the debate is absolutely essential to keep this on
track. So I love him
with this pin. What a gift Marjorie Taylor Greene gave to him. She didn't even
know.
Look at her. She's covered in pins. Marjorie Taylor Greene. She's got every pin.
Everybody,
everybody who's got killed by an illegal alien, Marjorie Taylor Greene has
their face on a pin.
By the way, what store, is that a store I can go to in Florida and just buy
dead people pins
that were killed by illegal aliens? There's gotta be a store. She's from what?
Georgia? She's the
senator, congresswoman, whatever. Who cares? Is there a store in Georgia where
people that have
been killed by illegals, you can turn them into pins? How does this work? What
a fun carnival
attraction to just be able to go and go, hey, I'd love to put this face on a
pin. And they go,
oh, who is that? Is that your wife? No, it's a girl who was killed by an
illegal. Oh, it's a fun
carnival attraction. Any death that you want to politicize in this country,
there should be a
place for you to go. Whether it's a kid who got shot at Sandy Hook or this poor
woman who was killed
by an illegal, you should be able to make them into a snow globe, a lava lamp,
a pin. You should be
able, if you, if you, you know, maybe you, I mean, really you could do
everything in this store. You
could have like, uh, you know, the, uh, targets. You can make people's faces
targets if you don't
like, but no dead people whose deaths you want to use as political pawns. You
should be able to make
them into trinkets and things to hand out key chains. If, if an illegal
immigrant kills me, please make
me into a key chain, please, for the love of God, make me into a key chain and
hand me out to these,
uh, you know, uh, whoever these are, these turning point USA people, whatever,
who's ever excited to go
to these conventions, make me a key chain, make me a nerf, maybe shoot little
Tim Dillon balls out of a
Nerf gun, figure out a way where I can live on through a kind of a really schlocky,
you know, um,
knickknack. It's a knickknack. It's very interesting to just have the pins of
dead people. Do you think
Marjorie Taylor Greene puts any of the pins of the kids who've been shot in
school shootings on?
Probably not. Right. And then the Democrats, cause the Democrats have all those
pins of pins of all
the black people who've been killed by the police and a school shooting people.
And then the Republicans
have the pins of all the fetuses that have been killed. And I mean, that's, you
got to just do one
pin per whatever, 10 million fetuses, right? That these whores have flushed
down the toilet in,
in their part, in, in what they believe. So it's just gotta be pin to pin to
pin. And I'm all for it,
man. I'm, I like this idea of turn, cause we know in America that it,
unfortunately people are going
to die in ways that we are going to then politicize. This is just what happens.
Say her name.
So what we have to do is find a way to make those people into, you know, fun
souvenirs,
become a souvenir, die in a political way, become a souvenir, be handed out
during a convention,
become a pin. Why not do it?
Yeah.