Name: Kate Middleton & Sociopaths With Logos | The Tim Dillon Show #384
Uploaded: 2024-03-17T04:00:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kate Middleton & Sociopaths With Logos | The Tim Dillon Show #384' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kate Middleton & Sociopaths With Logos | The Tim Dillon Show #384' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-17. Transcript available.

Kate Middleton & Sociopaths With Logos | The Tim Dillon Show #384

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show.
Vladimir Putin, in a nail-biter, is going to win the election in Russia.
And we do have to extend our congratulations to him.
This is kind of somewhat unexpected.
This was a very close race.
Many of the other people that were running against Vladimir fell ill at the
last minute,
were unable to perform their duties.
You know, it's shocking to him as well, I'm sure.
So, you know, he, I believe, will win.
You know, I mean, he's definitely, you know, he really is the beneficiary of
some good luck
with a lot of these challengers that just, you know, seem to have medical
issues.
They seem to have medical, unexplained medical problems that happen.
And they do happen.
That's the thing.
They do happen.
So, everybody that's, you know, conspiracy-minded or, you know, they do have
people fall.
People fall all the time.
Now, most people don't live in buildings that are high enough where they, when
they fall out
of a window, it's a real problem.
Most people fall on their steps or they fall because the floor is wet at a
Wendy's.
But some of these guys, they fall out of, you know, these are beautiful homes.
These are, these are, you know, penthouses, perhaps.
And when they fall, some of them get impaled on a gate or a fence outside.
It is difficult.
You know, it depends where you're falling from, really.
So, we do wish Vladimir Putin well, as always.
And, you know, we hope that he's happy.
We hope he's happy.
No one talks about that.
There's a lot of pressure.
Think of everything you do every day and how much pressure there is on you to
make the lunch
for the kids, to get to work, right?
And Dawn's in.
Ugh.
You got to see Dawn.
Now, imagine if you had the thousand-year history of Russia on your back.
Is that easy?
You're dreading walking into work because Dawn's back.
Imagine if the entire history and the physical security and the spiritual life
of the Russian people
was on your back.
That can't be easy.
I don't love all of the tactics of Vladimir Putin.
or Barbecue in Haiti, who we discuss on the Patreon.
I don't love all of the tactics.
We can debate tactics.
But I don't envy these men.
I don't envy Barbecue.
I don't envy that.
The pressure.
Okay?
Of having to depose a government and erect a new one.
The pressure.
And I just, I hope that everyone is mentally well because there's so much, we
talk a lot about mental health.
We talk, we never speak about it.
Has anyone ever asked, no, genuinely, has anyone ever asked how Vladimir Putin
was doing mentally?
Like, how does he feel?
Like, how does he feel?
Does he feel isolated?
He sits at that long table because he doesn't want to be poisoned.
Because people are always trying, when you're at the top, people are always
trying to take you down.
Mentally, where is he?
How is he feeling?
Is he taking time?
We never ask this.
And it's important because these people make decisions that affect people's
lives.
How is Barbecue feeling mentally?
Where is he at?
Does it upset him when he has to set people on fire and eat them?
Does it bother him?
Or is he able to compartmentalize?
Is Barbecue able to compartmentalize?
It's a real question that no one asks of these people.
We just talk about them.
We put them on the covers of newspapers.
But nobody does a deep dive into the psyche because it can't, it's not easy.
It's not easy.
I don't agree with things that are happening.
But as you get older, by the way, you don't use that word as much.
And I think it's because you actually have attained some level of wisdom.
When you're young, you tend to believe the world is only a battleground of
ideas.
Some are good, some are bad.
As you get older, you realize that good ideas and bad ideas go through the same
process.
And most of the ideas that you believe are good benefit you.
Very rarely do you believe an idea is good if it does not serve you in some way.
As you get older, you realize this.
When you're younger, the ultimate good, let's use an example.
You want a later curfew.
And you'll justify that in any way that you can.
Because it serves you.
You're a teenager.
You want to go out.
Because the good stuff at the party happens late at night.
And you don't want to be the loser that leaves early.
So the idea of your parents preventing you from experiencing the party, they
are fascists and they are ruining your life.
And you, because it's emotional and it's driven by your need, your desire, that
idea that you have, that you must be at the party and that people are stopping
you, is an idea that serves you.
It serves your insecurities, your fear of missing out, whatever.
Okay?
So when you are younger, most people in our media landscape remain 17 for their
entire life.
This is the big problem.
This is actually my diagnosis.
Every now and then I diagnose people.
And I'm rarely wrong.
I am not a doctor by trade.
Most people in our media landscape continue to be 17 years old for their entire
lives.
Meaning, they run primarily on raw emotion, not a ton of thought.
Good and evil are very clear in their heads.
What is an absolute good and what is absolute evil?
You're letting me go to the party or you are ruining my life.
What is it?
Are you ruining my life?
Or are you letting me go to a party I'll forget two days later?
And this is the media landscape.
So when we deal with the Russia situation, we deal with people like Vladimir
Putin.
The media is a 17-year-old who is very upset and incapable of understanding
anything outside of their concept of the world.
And their concept of the world is that Vladimir Putin is a psychotic dictator
looking to reconstitute the Soviet Union by marching through Europe.
That is what they have decided.
That is what they have decided.
That is the party they want to attend.
They have to go.
They got to be seen there.
Everybody is there.
The Atlantic is there.
And the New York Times and the Washington Post.
Everybody on Twitter is there.
Amy Schumer is there.
Big celebrities are there.
No hate to Schumer.
We're having a good period now.
But celebrities are there.
Everybody's there.
People are singing at the party.
That's the party you want to be invited to.
The party where you are stopping a psychotic dictator from marching through
Europe.
Well, who wouldn't want to go to that party?
I have to stay late.
Jessica's parents are letting her go.
All of Harvard and Yale are at the party.
The Council on Foreign Relations is at the party.
The Trilateral Commission.
You can Google these things.
I'm not going to explain them to you.
I don't care.
I don't care if I sell tickets at the Mall of America.
Google them.
I don't care.
They're all at the party.
It's the party that everybody's having.
And then there's going to be a few people that go,
Well, I don't know.
Is it really that fun?
Is a party really that fun?
Maybe there's another way to look at it.
It's pretty simple
If you understand the way that opinions in our country and the way they are
formed and the way that a consensus is built.
It is built, it is built, not by one person, it is built by Hollywood, by the
media, and it is built by many different actors, institutions, politicians, and
they build a consensus.
And the consensus is, and the consensus is, and the consensus is, in our
country, that Vladimir Putin is a psychotic dictator who wants to march through
Europe like a feudal lord burning down everyone's house, taking their livestock,
raping their daughter.
That's the consensus.
That's the consensus.
There isn't evidence for that over a 20-year period since 9-11, really, of
dealing with Vladimir Putin.
We can't really point to too many examples of, we have Georgia, we have Crimea,
but we don't see a ton of wars of aggression where Putin's going out.
It's hard to take over a country.
It's not easy.
I mean, we fail at it.
Us!
We tried in Afghanistan.
20 years later, we got kicked out.
We tried in Iraq.
How's that going?
It ain't easy to take over a country, install a puppet government, and then
just have everything work out.
That's not that easy.
But apparently, at the party everyone's at, the belief is that this is all
Russia wants to do, is take over countries like Poland, go to war with
everybody.
That's why France, France now, France, the pussies, have decided that they are
going to get tough, and they are now telling the Ukraine that the only way we
can end this war is to take back Crimea, which was taken in 2014.
They need that back, okay?
France is now, Macron said, I can't guarantee that there, that, hey, he's like,
there are no French troops, NATO troops on the ground now.
But he goes, who knows?
I can't guarantee that.
I can't guarantee that.
And then he marched, you know, those comments back.
But he goes, this is France, by the way, the pussies.
They're now going, someone has pictures of Macron doing something.
This is the way it works.
I'm telling you the way it works.
You don't have to believe me.
I don't care.
I'm, I'm, I don't care anymore who believes, whatever.
Look at his face.
Get, get Macron's face.
Get his face up now.
Someone said some, there is, he's being, there, no way, France, they're pussies.
They're great.
They love food and culture and sex.
They're not driven to be heroes.
It's not part of the French thing, which by the way, is nice.
Everyone in this country is always pretending to be a hero.
It's fucking exhausting.
The amount of people in America that pretend to be heroes all the time.
Well, if they had shot up my kid's school, I would have ran in there.
Everyone is pretending to be a hero all the time.
But large swaths of this country, and this is why we cannot have a draft, are
fat cowards.
And I've talked about this many times.
It's why we can't have a draft.
Fat people serving in the military is one thing.
Cowards serving in the military is another thing.
But there would be nothing more demoralizing than seeing fat people run away
from a fight,
which is what you would have if you drafted people in America.
Fat people would be heading for the hills.
They'd be running the other way.
It would be so dispiriting and demoralizing for the country to see.
Someone got to Macron and said, we got to turn it up.
And if not, whatever is they're holding over his head, I don't know.
But he made a real about face here that French people don't usually do.
This whole, now the Pope came out and goes, maybe we can, we can, maybe we can
like have,
this Pope, by the way, I think is on his way out.
Because the Pope just came out and he did the cardinal sin.
The Pope has been angering like conservative Catholics because I think he owns
a few gay bars in the Vatican.
A lot of these, but by the way, they do own, you know, a lot of the gay bars in
the Vatican are owned by cardinals and stuff.
And the Pope is hip to the trannies.
He's big on that.
The Pope's really into the trancing right now, which I understand because if
you look at like the Swiss Guard and a lot,
it just leads itself to kind of that direction.
All the non-binary people are doing is kind of becoming medieval, right?
But in like a weird, fun way.
Like if you look at like the medieval outfits and sort of the haircuts, isn't
it, we're kind of there.
Like, you know, there's, look at the Swiss Guard.
Yeah, bring that up.
Bring up the Swiss Guard.
That's, that's what, that's the highest level of non-binary is right there.
Everybody that's a non-binary person at like Wesleyan College just wants to
look like that.
And if that's what non-binary people look like, we'd all be, fuck, it'd be
awesome.
If they spent less time on verbiage and what you can say and not say,
and more time on like fun outfits, color, hats, get that one up to the left too.
Cause I want to get a real closeup on that hat with that.
Yeah, this, I mean, what are we doing here?
Like, so the Pope owns gay bars in the Vatican with the Cardinals.
They own gay bars and they're getting into the, I think the Swiss Guard is kind
of getting more into the trans world.
And that's fine with me.
I don't care.
But a 