Name: The Pope's Gay Bars & The Non-Binary Swiss Guard #384
Uploaded: 2024-03-25T16:00:45.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Pope's Gay Bars & The Non-Binary Swiss Guard #384' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Pope's Gay Bars & The Non-Binary Swiss Guard #384' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-25. Transcript available.

The Pope has been angering, like, conservative Catholics
because I think he owns a few gay bars in the Vatican.
A lot of these, but by the way, they do own, you know,
a lot of the gay bars in the Vatican are owned by cardinals and stuff.
And the Pope is hip to the f***ing knees.
He's big on that.
The Pope's really into the trancing right now,
which I understand because if you look at, like, the Swiss Guard
and a lot of, it just leads itself to kind of that direction.
All the non-binary people are doing is kind of becoming medieval, right?
But in, like, a weird, fun way.
Like, if you look at, like, the medieval outfits and sort of the haircuts,
isn't it, we're kind of there.
Like, you know, there's, look at the Swiss, yeah, bring that up.
Bring up the Swiss Guard.
That's, that's what, that's the highest level of non-binary is right there.
Everybody that's a non-binary person at, like, Wesleyan College just wants to
look like that.
And if that's what non-binary people look like, we'd all be f***ing awesome.
If they spent less time on verbiage and what you can say and not say,
and more time on, like, fun outfits, color, hats, get that one up to the left,
too,
because I want to get a real close-up on the hat with that.
Yeah, this, I mean, what are we doing here?
Like, so the Pope owns gay bars in the Vatican with the Cardinals.
They own gay bars.
And they're getting into the, I think the Swiss Guard is kind of getting more
into the trans world.
And that's fine with me.
I don't care.
But a lot of conservative Catholics, I have friends that are, you know, psychotic
and believe God speaks to them at night and God flies to Florida to talk to
them
and tell them what he thinks should and shouldn't happen.
And that's fine.
There's nothing wrong with that.
They're allowed to live with their psychosis.
That's all.
I mean, there's nothing wrong with it.
So, but I've never thought, like, the Catholic Church was, I'm religious, by
the way,
to the degree that I believe in God, and I believe that there is another realm
to life.
I don't know what it is, how it looks.
I can't answer any of those questions.
But I do have those thoughts.
But I believe the Catholic Church, if we look at the evidence, not great.
Can we say that?
It doesn't mean that it wasn't intended to be good.
It means that in practice, a lot of religion goes left, shall we say.
It goes the wrong way.
But not the outfits of the Swiss Guard.
I like this.
This is what, this is what, because the whole non-binary thing really just
comes down to,
like, hey, I don't identify as a dude.
I don't identify as a chick.
I just want to be something.
Fine.
Wear that, though.
You know what I mean?
Wear that.
I'm with you if you wear that.
If you come in in like a medieval garb, I'm with it.
I just want effort from everyone across the board in life.
From transparency.
I want effort.
If you're a swimmer, don't have your balls out of the thing.
Get your balls in.
Don't have your balls hanging out of the f***ing suit.
Effort in life is what I want.
So if you're non-binary and you're not even doing a surgery, you're not even
changing your physical appearance,
you're going to still date a member of the opposite sex.
You're in a heterosexual relationship.
And you're not even going to get a fun tattoo like that movie, The Girl with
the Dragon Tattoo.
If you're not going to ride a motorcycle and try to solve murders in Sweden, I
need you to dress like the Swiss Guard.
Truly.
I need you, if you're non-binary, to kick it up and not to dress like the Swiss
Guard.