Name: Why Movies Suck Now & Our Favorite Things About Stalkers #385
Uploaded: 2024-03-29T19:00:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Why Movies Suck Now & Our Favorite Things About Stalkers #385' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Why Movies Suck Now & Our Favorite Things About Stalkers #385' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-29. Transcript available.

What is happening in this world?
I also think the parents that put their kids through all that acting stuff,
it makes the kids insane.
Because the kid's 14, he hasn't had a single friend,
but he's got the stardom and his parents have all this money.
I tried and I couldn't get anything.
I did a lot of theater.
I never got big stuff.
I think when you get big stuff, you get-
Theater still works because you have friends in the theater class.
What was that?
He pursued a career as a child actor.
Dylan got a role in the famous news show Sesame Street.
Even though he got a good role, Dylan's career as an actor never took off.
Hey!
Listen, bitch, he was in an Eli Roth movie.
Bro, I got my fucking head cut off.
Yeah, I just met Eli recently and I was like,
hey, I'm friends with Tim.
He didn't give a shit about me.
He did the LA thing where he's looking at every different direction but you.
He's like, yeah, man, for sure.
Yeah, no, anyways, yeah, sick.
Yeah, I love Tim.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where was he?
Where'd you guys meet?
Some movie premiered.
I was in a movie.
I had one role.
I played a vape store employee.
It was pretty fun.
What movie?
Drugstore June.
It's one with Bill Burr and Esther.
I mean, can we be honest?
These movies are just over.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I'm not trying to make fun of anyone.
I'm saying, does anyone care about any of these things?
No.
I mean, it's interesting.
I mean, I'm in the scene with Bad Baby, Danielle Bregoli.
You know, she's making like 50 hits.
It's a lot.
Yeah, just try to overthrow the government.
That's why I'm going to RFKs.
I'd rather overthrow the government than do this.
I'd rather die in like a revolutionary struggle than be in Drugstore June.
Movies don't need to be comedies anymore, but it's like you can do Marvel.
You can do the action.
You can do all that.
Because then that's fun.
Watching a comedy movie and it's not funny funny, you're like just pissed.
Maybe I am because I'm like, oh, that could have been funny.
Well, any movie they make now is going to suck unless a comedian does it on
their own
and doesn't have any of this.
Like, they don't, you can't get notes from unfunny.
We've established that all the fucking risk takers have left, they're out.
Yeah.
They're out.
It's replaced by fucking people that went to Wesleyan College.
I mean, these are like-
Well, you got a guy giving you notes who does like ad sales.
Yeah, they suck.
Well, you look at the resume and they're doing, they're now the head of comedy
at BuzzFeed
and you're like, you were selling ads in Florida.
How did you come to this?
Well, a lot of these people just, again, they shouldn't be giving anyone notes.
And if comics don't have full autonomy to do funny shit, then it's not that
funny.
There's too many cooks in the kitchen.
There's too many people saying yes or no on what's funny.
That's true.
I mean, no joke would ever get off the, on stage of, before you told the joke,
you're
like, hey, before I talk about this, do you guys want to hear this?
Ah, maybe, yes.
No, you just do it.
And then out of the audience, you get 70% laugh, 100% laugh, 100% laugh.
Do you have like crazy fans, people show up to the crib?
I have a few stalker-ish people who scare me a little bit.
Interesting.
Men, women, both?
Women.
Wow.
I like it.
Now, what's their thing?
What do they say?
We're meant to be together?
That.
My favorite thing about stalkers, they would show up outside of Lady Gaga's
house or like
Taylor Swift's house.
And they're like, and the cops would be dragging them out.
They'd be like, no, I'm here to protect her.
That's my favorite thing stalkers do.
They go, ah, excuse me.
I'm here to protect her.
So what do they do?
It's just overly loving.
It's just overly, it's a lot of messages.
It's a lot of gifts.
It's a lot of, um.
It's too much.
It's just, yeah, it's just not, I would, yeah, it just scares me a little bit
because it's
like, what do they say?
Like the closest people are the scariest.
Do they ever show up?
Uh, to shows, some.
Okay.
Yeah, I've had a few where I go like, or we'll give the security before the
show.
Like, hey, if this person comes to the show, be on the lookout.
Right.
But they're all nice.
So that's the hard part because you don't want to do anything that would
essentially
anger them.
Right.
So if you block them or ban them from a show, I think it's only going to raise
the stakes.
So I think it's just best to just be like, oh, thank you for whatever you're
doing.
You know, then deep down you're like, oh, that's a little interesting.
Thank you for whatever you're doing.
What a great way to say.
You know, I don't know.
Thank you for whatever you're doing.
Well, my chances are, they're probably listening right now and being like, is
he talking about
me?
So I'm just very blanket statement like, oh, yeah, hey, you got to do what you
do.
I'm going to put out my Dan Schneider.
Sorry to my soccer.
Hey, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to talk about that.
But if you're uncomfortable, get a therapist.
I know.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Do you have a lot of stalker?
No.
Well, I have people that are mentally unwell that send stuff.
You know, there's a lot.
When you talk about conspiracies, you talk about anything like that, you have a
group.
There's an amount of the audience is probably suffering from schizophrenia.
You know, I think about 10% of the country is schizophrenic now.
I really, truly believe that.
Yeah.
So when you do an individual show where you talk to people and they'll just
hear your voice
over and over again, you know?
Yeah.
But it's, um, I've had women weirdly show up to stuff too.
Really?
I've had a couple of crazy women.
And they find shows at your house?
I've had a guy or two that seems to be a problem.
Okay.
One showed up at a hotel in New York City.
Ah.
Yeah.
And then what?
I was just like, I don't know who this person is, but he kept coming every
single day and
sitting in the lobby.
Oh.
Let's check.
Yeah.
It was a little weird.
Interesting.
A little weird.
Like Postmates or Tim, they just have no food on them at all.
It's just a gun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Delivered for Mr. Dillon.
Yeah.
It's terrifying.
Yeah.
I mean, it can be weird, but it's not nearly as weird as it gets for other
people.
Well, it's just so weird because you're like at any given moment, here's my
tour
date.
It's here exactly where I'll be.
And then these people are like, oh, he's doing a show here.
Do you like living out where you live?
You're kind of far out.
Yeah.
I like it.
I like it a lot.
It's calm.
It's quiet.
I miss a little bit of the buzz out here.
But I mean, the goal would be kind of what you're doing is get a place in New
York and
then like kind of do like a bi-coastal thing if I ever need.
Yeah.
I just like to jump around.
I get bored.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I get bored easy too.
But I'm not at my house a lot.
If I'm at my house, I'm working.
It's not like I just sit there.
Anytime I sit there, I'm like, oh, this sucks.
All my neighbors are old.
One guy is so old, he just rakes the street every day.
Every day he rakes the street.
I'm like, that marriage is not going well.
Right.
Yeah.
Everybody's just old and where I live.
So it's not very motivating, but I love it for comfort and space.