Name: Boomer Bashing & Campus Protests | The Tim Dillon Show #391
Uploaded: 2024-05-04T16:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Boomer Bashing & Campus Protests | The Tim Dillon Show #391' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Boomer Bashing & Campus Protests | The Tim Dillon Show #391' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-04. Transcript available.

Boomer Bashing & Campus Protests | The Tim Dillon Show #391

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show.
I'm doing a little bit of an addendum right now.
I recorded an episode a day ago that will come out that you're watching now.
But that night, after I recorded, I talked a little bit about the encampments
at these schools, right?
Like Columbia and UCLA.
I visited the UCLA encampment.
I got out of my show at the Hollywood Improv.
I said, I've got nothing to do.
So I went to check it out.
What was going down at the UCLA encampment.
And I was very surprised.
I drove my Bentley onto the campus and I parked it.
And I threw the hazies on, put the hazards on, and got out and just started
walking around.
And I quickly found a bunch of protesters protesting.
And then some of them started to recognize me.
And I took a few selfies with them.
They were lovely people.
You know, they were like, you know, thanks for coming and everything.
And, you know, of course, you're welcome.
And, you know, whatever I can do.
You know, anything I can do, really.
You know, to stop the, you know, genocide and the war and the imperialism.
And, you know, it's to take some time out of my day to do it, which I don't
mind doing.
You know, and I think it was kind of certainly brave and kind of inspirational
for many of them to see me.
And I don't want to ever take that away from them.
I don't want anyone to ever feel like, you know what I mean?
Because I, it was important for them to see me with them struggling in the
struggle.
You know, the whole thing.
The whole thing.
We were really doing it.
I was there for about 30 minutes.
But the whole thing.
And then a few people go, do you want to go see the actual encampment?
And I was like, okay, am I even allowed in?
And they're like, yeah, you're allowed in if you're with us.
So these Muslim kids, I think they were Muslim.
One of them was a tiny Chinese person, but in the Muslim garb, which I enjoyed
as just a kind of a, you know, it's like a variation.
The white kids are all in the Muslim scarf.
I don't know if that's appropriate or not, but it certainly was festive.
You know, I think that's kind of the game here is it's a little fight.
It's a little fun.
It's a little, you know, they're mad about stuff.
I get it.
I'm not saying it's wrong to be mad about it.
But there's a human element to any of these things where some of them, you know,
get, you know, they spiral out of control.
So you have small Asians in the thing.
Kefia, whatever it's called.
Am I pronouncing it?
You got it right.
Yeah.
Of course I do.
And whites, white guys, tall white guys in that.
Everyone was in that.
I wasn't.
But no one told me.
I just showed up.
And then I go to the campus and to get into the encampment, you go, you have to
say you're not a Zionist.
And to get in, because here's what they've smartly realized at the encampment
is that no member of the FBI would ever lie.
So the reality was, are you a Zionist?
I went, no Zionism here.
And they just let me in.
And I look like a cop.
I've got my, I'm in pajama pants.
I have my hoodie.
And I'm walking around the encampment and just kind of meeting people.
You know, just kind of making it a nice night for them.
Really kind of a special evening for them.
And just kind of being there with them and their movement.
I don't know if I helped.
I certainly didn't hurt, you know.
And I was there kind of avoiding photos.
You know, it's not, it's not the most ideal place for someone like me to be
photographed.
But I mean, I would have pinned it on someone else or something if I, if my
photo would, I would have denied that I was there.
And I was there and then the kids are like, it's, and there's helicopters circling
up top.
And it's about to pop off.
I'm there.
It's about 1230 at night.
And some kid comes up to me.
He's like, what's up, bro?
He goes, I'm a fan.
I'm like, thanks, man.
He goes, I think it's going down at one.
I go, what is that?
What would be that going?
Where are we doing?
Who's that and why?
He goes, well, they're going to come in with like tear gas and rubber bullets
and everything at one.
I was like, well, that feels a lot.
You know, I feel I'm fine to go.
I'm fine to kind of see people.
I'm fine from meet and greet, but we don't want to start taking rubber bullets
to the face, tear gas.
It seems unnecessary.
It's not.
I didn't even know where the Bentley was parked because in these university
campuses, you get turned around.
So I kept asking people where it is and they were going in fatata.
And I'm like, no, Bentayga, it's white and it has a red leather on the inside.
And they were very unhelpful finding the car, to be honest.
But that's fine.
They were friendly.
They were nice.
They were, I get it.
You know, they're not happy.
They get, it's too convoluted.
It's all, it's we get it.
You're mad at Israel, which is okay.
But then it's also like Kill Whitey and George Floyd.
It's very, it's all over the place.
There's no focus.
This is what happens with these protests.
There's no focus.
It's all, it's all over the place.
You know, they have a, they have a van where there's just this pro-Palestinian
speaker, but he's not real.
They're just playing his speech over and over again.
And he's like, he has a British accent.
And he's like, the United States, France and Israel are wrong.
And he just keeps doing this all.
And I wondered if we could just get a van and play this show.
If I could play this show over and over again, outside of these encampments.
But all in all, it was a good time.
The kids were awesome.
They were big fans.
You know what I mean?
I'm, I, hey, I came there to kind of shake some hands, do a few selfies, you
know, just kind of experience it.
See what it was, feel what it was like to be in college again, which I never
was.
So for me, it was kind of like a summer camp.
But again, brief, just a little bit, like, let's jump into it.
These kids are in Hamas.
They don't have it.
You know what I mean?
They just don't have it.
You can't be in Hamas and be excited to see me.
You know what I mean?
Like, you know, they don't have it to be in Hamas.
So this episode that's coming out that you're listening to right now, that's
about to come out, nothing that I say in it, I take back.
And I, it's the, pretty much the same thing I say.
But, you know, going there and seeing it, it was nonviolent.
They were not being violent when I was there at all.
It was very, you know, it was an environment where Jewish people probably
wouldn't be comfortable.
You know, I, you know, again, it was like, it didn't seem like anybody there
was being overtly threatening to anyone else.
But again, I was there for a half hour.
What it seemed like was a bunch of kids who were mad and felt like they had to
do something.
And they were doing it to whatever, you know, to the best of their ability.
That's what it felt like.
But the reality is we're not going to let kids, college kids, take over
universities in this country.
You know, the cops have a monopoly on violence in this country.
And in most civilized countries, the police have a monopoly on violence,
meaning that if you riot, if you cause damage to property, if you are using
violence, you are going to be confronted by the police.
This is not to say the police are always great or the way that they handle
things are great.
But you, you, you know, look at what happened at that autonomous zone in
Seattle called Chaz, right?
After a few weeks, everybody started shooting each other.
What happens to the Columbia encampment if left, if they don't break it up or
the UCLA encampment or any of these encampments?
What goes on?
How long?
Do people just get sick of it?
You know, so I was happy.
I was there on the last night.
It felt like it was like a big night.
It was kind of an event.
It was fun to kind of be on the edge of the rioting, the police, but not fully
be there for it.
I thought it was very good.
It was because it was like danger in the air.
And I kind of like, it was fun.
And I liked it.
In the future, I, should there have been better appetizers?
Yeah.
Should there have been people passing trays?
Yeah.
I get it now.
All the food that I was criticizing.
Now I get it because.
I throw events and I throw parties and I know it does take, there is a certain
kind of rhythm and flow to things that you need.
This was very like scattered all over the place.
And I just, you know, but it was fun to be there.
And it was fun to see little militant Asian non-binary people walking around
dressed like Muslims.
If that's not a fun thing, if that's not a fun theme party, if you can't have
fun there, where can you have fun?
Tiny little non-binary Asians dressed up like Muslims in walkie-talkies running
around, if that can't, if that doesn't satiate, you know, you want a little bit
of that.
And this is what we've lost in America.
Things are terribly corporate and terribly boring.
And so when you see a tiny Asian dressed like a Hamas, it's fun.
And I think it's, it, it, it, it, um, it throws you, but in a good way.
So, I mean, those are the lessons I learned from it.
I, you know, I, I'm not gonna do much, you know, other than kind of show up,
which I think really was all they kind of did.
IG showed up for last time.
They got, all got pepper sprayed and rubber bulleted and I get it.
I get, that's the whole, you're building that cred.
You know, I get it, but it's just still not, it's, it's a long way from, you
know, Hamas.
It really is.
Um, and I'm not saying that you should be Hamas, but I'm saying like, you know,
Fox News is like, there's Hamas all over the colleges.
Like, that's not really, what's going on, um, in the same way that, uh, people
on the left think, uh, that, uh, the cops should not respond when the school
calls them in and says, we have people vandalizing the property.
They're refusing to leave certain buildings.
The cops are gonna come in.
I mean, what do you think's gonna happen?
So much of this show is telling people how things are gonna work.
And so much of it is people getting angry at me because they don't like reality
and they'd like to live in another place.
That's fine.
I don't love reality.
It's why I live in Beverly Hills.
You can choose a place to live that doesn't resemble reality.
But in reality, we are not going to let a college be taken over by tiny, non-binary
Asian little Hamas people who, again, I liked.
I liked them.
I ran into a Jew on the way in and let's say this.
He said to me, I pulled over my car, he goes, are you Jewish?
I go, no.
He goes, you look Jewish.
I said, stop.
And he goes, what are you?
And I said, Irish.
And he goes, oh, you look actually more Irish.
And then he goes, I'm Jewish.
I go, how's it been over here?
It's getting rough, right?
And he goes, well, we're certainly outnumbered.
I go, yeah.
I go, I'm a comedian.
He goes, yeah.
He goes, what's your IG?
Then he followed me on IG and then immediately he goes, I'm launching an app
for like nightlife.
I go, I'm going to put the scarf on if you keep going.
I'm going to put the scarf on if you keep going.
So without further ado, here's the episode you were going to hear.
I just wanted to update you all my journey as kind of a revolutionary and what
it was like for that half hour until I found my Bentley and I went right to Bel
Air.
Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show.
Let me say one good thing about Hamas.
And I will say it unironically.
Hamas, for all the negatives, okay, they are obviously deeply committed to a
vision of the world I do not share.
But here's the thing about Hamas.
They kind of, you know, they're willing to die.
They're putting their lives on the line.
It's hard to take some of the student protests seriously when they make these
demands and they go, we want vegan and gluten-free food.
We want lotion, no sunscreen because there are chemicals in sunscreen, which is
correct.
We want knee and elbow pads, rope and zip ties, helmet shields and wood, super
bright flashlights with strobe.
Utility gloves, canopies, rain ponchos, umbrel