Name: Tim Dillon Hears Israel's Crazy Eurovision Song #392
Uploaded: 2024-05-23T16:00:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Dillon Hears Israel's Crazy Eurovision Song #392' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Dillon Hears Israel's Crazy Eurovision Song #392' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-23. Transcript available.

Let's talk now about Eurovision
because I'll tell you right now, folks.
Eurovision is something I've paid very little attention to
in my life, and I am sad.
Eurovision has, like, Dutch rappers.
They have, like, Ukrainian ska bands.
You have, like, Swedish.
Like, Celine Dion won it in 19, I believe, 1988 or 1998.
I forget, probably 88.
But Eurovision is a contest.
It is a contest of bands from all over Europe.
They banned Russia last year or a few years ago,
and they were like, you cannot compete
because you invaded Ukraine.
Now, what has happened is Israel's in it,
and Israel advances to the finals.
People are getting mad.
They go, you banned Russia.
Now we're mad at Israel.
And this woman, Eden Golan,
and we're going to play her song later for you.
But there's a lot of tension in this contest.
It happened in Malmo, Sweden,
which is a town with a big Muslim population in Sweden,
and they're doing Eurovision here,
and the Israeli singer Eden Golan needs all the security,
and it's, you know, backstage, it's tense.
Now, they're all dressed up in crazy ways.
Get the win.
Now, this winner is Nemo, this guy who wins Eurovision.
This is Nemo right here.
This is Nemo.
Now, Nemo is from Copenhagen?
Switzerland.
Switzerland.
He's from Switzerland, and Nemo,
can we play any of these songs?
Can we play any of these songs?
Can we?
It's copyright, so it's tough.
God damn it.
Well, Nemo does a rock opera about their journey
discovering they were non-binary,
which doesn't exist.
But still, there's a journey to it,
and it's Nemo is up there.
They're up there singing about being non-binary.
Now, they break the award.
Can you play the press conference where they break the award?
Israel was actually doing really well.
There was this demonic fawn from Ireland who really hated Israel.
This demon, this Satan fawn from Ireland,
which I kind of liked,
because, again, Eurovision,
they wear these crazy costumes.
It's insane.
You really thank God for black people after you watch Eurovision
because you're like,
man, I mean,
this is what happens to white people in music
when they have nothing else going on.
They're dressed up like fawns,
and some of them are dressed up like,
I don't even know,
like mythical creatures from Middle Earth.
It's like the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.
They're just,
they come right out of Nornia.
Play the press conference.
This is Nemo,
the person who won Eurovision,
doing a rock opera about the journey of finding out
they were non-binary.
Oh, this is clearly like a double standard,
and as I said,
like I broke the code
and I broke the trophy.
Maybe the trophy can be fixed.
Maybe Eurovision needs a little bit of fixing too
every now and then.
Because this person broke the trophy.
When they handed them the trophy,
they broke it or something.
Can we play a little bit on Twitter
of something that they did?
I mean, here's him breaking the award.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's like an idiot.
The person's like an idiot.
Breaks the award.
I mean, it's like...
They kicked out this guy,
Juiced Klein,
who did a song called Euro Papa,
and they kicked him out
because he started with the Jews backstage, I think.
And Juiced Klein is like this rapper
from Amsterdam or something.
I don't know.
He's a Dutch rapper.
And he does a song called Euro Papa.
And all the songs are like,
I live in Europe.
I like it.
I will die in Europe.
That's the words.
Literally.
Can we play a music video on here?
It depends on who is the publisher of it.
It's Juiced Klein from Eurovision.
He's a rapper.
He's a Dutch rapper.
Is he going to sue us, Juiced?
Are you suing us?
Because as a critic of Israel, Juiced,
if you sue me,
that's a pretty Israel move.
But he does a song called Euro Papa,
and he's like,
we all live in Europe.
I like to go Europe.
And you realize how terrible music is
in many cases when you leave America.
It's like crazy bad.
Get up the Irish demonic fawn.
Because she was upset.
They were like,
what happened when Israel advanced to the finals?
And she's like,
oh, I cried.
I cried.
I cried.
There she is.
Irish Eurovisit contestant cries after Israel makes the final.
So now people in Ireland are mad at Bambi Thug.
Bambi Thug is the satanic Irish fawn.
And the Ireland of a very Catholic country,
a Protestant in the north,
but Bambi Thug was a vocal critic of Israel.
And when Israel advanced,
Bambi Thug was upset and cried.
She's like,
I cried.
Oh, I cried so much in Israel.
Oh, I just cried.
Now, this Eurovision contest has been very controversial.
We explained why.
We get it.
And, um,
but this young woman,
this Eden Golan,
she's a pretty woman,
attractive young lady,
and she has a song.
And I don't know why everyone's angry.
Let the woman sing a song.
She's not the defense minister of Israel.
So I'm like,
let's play this song,
which I believe to be,
I think kind of a poppy love song.
Yeah.
I don't know what they do at Eurovision,
but again,
I think it's like poppy love songs and stuff like that.
So without further ado,
and we got special permission to play this song from her people,
which by the way is nice because a lot of people don't grant special permission
to play a song like this.
We could not clear Juiced Klein's song apparently,
but this is,
the song is called Hurricane by Eden Golan.
and this is her entry to Eurovision.
Let's hear this woman out a little bit here.
This is a regular nice song.
Before she recorded this,
she said she wanted to bring everyone together to music.
This was her hope.
Eden Golan Hurricane.
Kill them all.
Kill them all until they're dead.
And then when they're dead,
kill them again.
Kill the babies.
Kill the teenagers.
Kill the old people.
Kill their dogs and cats.
Kill them if they're thin or fat.
Kill them in the hospitals.
Kill them in the schools.
Kill them while they're playing soccer.
Kill them from above.
Kill them from below.
Kill them from the left and from the right.
Make them into vapor, make them into dust. Make them into a science experiment.
Bury their bodies in the dust, bury their bodies in the dust. And drag them
back from hell and kill them again.
Kill them again, kill them again. I'm gonna burn you with a righteous fire. I'm
gonna burn you alive and then I'll burn you dead. I'll burn you dead. I'll burn
you in my house.
This is my house and you are in my house. Get out of my f***ing house. You didn't
live here before me. Do you like the taste of my gun?
Do you like the taste of my gun? Do you like the taste of my gun? Do you like
my gun in your mouth? My gun's in your mouth. My gun's in your baby's mouth.
I put my gun in your little baby's mouth. Kill them all. It's not genocide. It's
a song. It's not genocide. I'm here with pride. Do you like the taste of fire?
Do you like the taste of blood?
Blood is coming through. Rivers of blood. There are rivers of blood. Eurovision.
I want to win. Eurovision.
It was Eden Golan Hurricane. An entry to the Eurovision. You know, after
hearing the song, I do understand why it was controversial. You know, I do
understand. You hear some of those lyrics. Some of them are quite violent. A
little suggestive. But art is art.