Name: Presidential Debate Reaction | The Tim Dillon Show #397
Uploaded: 2024-06-29T16:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Presidential Debate Reaction | The Tim Dillon Show #397' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Presidential Debate Reaction | The Tim Dillon Show #397' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-29. Transcript available.

Presidential Debate Reaction | The Tim Dillon Show #397

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the tim dillon show uh fresh off the heels of
the first
presidential debate of the season perhaps the last um not ideal not ideal
performance for
biden um not the worst by the way i'm in the minority here when i genuinely
watched it and i
thought it could have been worse i know that it wasn't great i know that it was
bad
i know that it was but i've this isn't new the what's very interesting is that
everybody's acting
like this is something that we've all figured out today oh my god what happened
to him this guy has
not looked alive in two years he's barely made sense he had a good state of the
union um but for
the most part he looks like he's not in his own body his skin is wrapped so
tightly around his skull
that it's disturbing he's incredibly advanced in age his voice is very soft he
seems to be in
hospice you would put a man like this if you went to visit your grandfather in
hospice and he spoke
like this and he said i love you and i love your family that that would make a
lot of sense it would
make a lot of sense if uh someone who's about to leave the earth which i
believe he is i believe he is i
believe he's almost there unless someone intervenes and gets this man to uh you
know a porch he could
maybe eke out a few more years or maybe that's when he really dies maybe you
know but it's never been
great he's a very old very confused man he's had a rough life he's had a rough
life one of his kids died of brain cancer
because he spent too much time near a burn pit which i don't even know what
that is but that's something in
iraq or i don't know what happened it's sad this is all sad his first wife died
because someone hit her with a car
right she was in a car was a car accident and then one of his sons died uh
because he got brain cancer
because he was in a burn pit something i don't know what it is his other son
who's a crack addict
tried to fuck or did fuck that other son's wife burn pit brain cancer son's
wife got fucked by the one who smokes crack
he's had a rough go of it he was just you know this is a guy who's had his rise
to pride he's from he's a senator from
delaware and it sounds like i'm doing an obituary here but i am he was a
senator from delaware the most
corrupt state when i was fucked and i had no money in the beginning of comedy i
got a credit card from gold key
credit okay and i went out and i tried to use it and it had a 250 limit and
they failed to mention that
the activation fee was like 200 something dollars so i tried to use it the
first time and it got denied
and i was like what wait a minute i just got this card and and then i looked
and it said yeah but the
activation fee of that card is 200 you have nothing left on the fucking card
the companies that do that
to people people that are eating in a mall eating a uh you know something uh
tasty high in uh sugar
drinking an electric blue margarita who are about to have their card declined
all of those companies are headquartered in delaware they're all criminal
enterprises they all evade taxes
and they all cook up horrible terms for everyone who has one of these
desperation credit cards
there's a whole subprime world of credit for people that are truly fucked you
know it's the payday loans
all of that stuff all of that headquartered in delaware his state there's
nothing else going on
in delaware by the way that's it a few nice places but that's it and he's just
been this senator from
delaware and when when he had to he got a little racist when he had to he got
out there he's like
we got super predators we're throwing them in don't worry about it uh he said
obama was the first
clean african american that he'd ever met or something or the first articulate
black had to run for office
again these are his words um but he was kind of a regular rank and filed guy
who had a you know who
was a senator was a talented politician he had a very sad kind of terrible life
uh other than the fact that he was he didn't seem to want this job and he was
on the edge of not getting
it before they completely sandbagged bernie sanders by keeping all these people
in the race and then
on the last primary totally stole kind of bernie's thunder and at the end african
american voters older
voters propelled biden to grab the nomination and then he became the president
but he's been declining
for a long time he's not you know he has moments of sharpness it's amazing
about the brain even in
his stage of decline i'm not i'm not my son's not a loser you're a loser there's
moments of lucidity
and sharpness where he can go on the attack something in him is still alive
some there's some light that
hasn't been extinguished and he goes on the attack and then he goes back in
then he recedes back into
himself and he's confused again it's very interesting to watch and you could
see it is abuse it's been
said before it's not something that i'm i'm not breaking any news it is for
sure abuse to watch him
to watch someone get confused and a little almost scared his face is confused
he doesn't know where
he is what's going on and then he remembers oh i'm the president i'm in a
debate medicare the border
he has a moment it's lucid and then he goes on the attack and some of it for a
guy in his condition
for a guy that's truly at the end of all things not just the presidency he's
not just at the end of his
political career he's at the end of all things every morning is a surprise to
him every single
morning is a surprise for a man at that point that stage of his life the fact
that he can stand
at a debate podium for any length of time is amazing and all of the people that
are freaking out about this
who've who've known about this who've known every by the way the washington
post the new york times these are not
right-wing things they've all written articles going yeah he's not really
present in meetings he's there
but he's not there he's kind of the way he was you know the other night like he'll
pop up
he'll go what is ukraine's release too much money and then he goes away again
and then they kind of go
where is he where'd he go where is he they've been leaking shit like this for
months about i forget the
right we're talking about just mainstream democrat uh institutions uh
mainstream media have been leaking
for a while that he is not at his prime and then he gets out on stage last
night he certainly fumbles
there's certainly problems and now everybody's uh ready to throw him in the
street and now the
conspiracy is was this engineered was it designed did the white house go we're
gonna put him out i was
just on the phone with louis ck and he made a good point he goes there was a
thing in the early 90s
late 80s where a gay guy would just uh who had aids was about to die would put
makeup on for his last
party you know what i mean and is that this did the did they trot him out to um
feed him to the dogs
per se did they did they bring him out to say let's see what happens we're
gonna make the debate early
we'll make the rules pretty tough for him he'll come out he'll fall on his face
or not but he did
and then if he does now we will all run and and go oh my god this man cannot be
president
he seems confused we i don't know now they everyone knew there was nothing
different about this guy
yesterday or the day before or the day before than the guy that walked on the
debate stage he had one
good speech at the state of the union where he was still showing signs of being
very old and not
getting things but nothing nothing like this this the format he couldn't handle
it he shouldn't be there
presidents don't do much i can prove it ours has been dead he's kind of dead
and the country still
you know i don't agree with their foreign policy i don't agree with a lot of
things they're doing
but the day-to-day of the country is not really run by the president it's run
by a lot of different
people that's why you have this guy who's part partially deceased and everyone's
freaking out
going he can't be the president he actually can't actually anyone can we've
proven that anyone can be
the president if he can be the president you can be the president and which is
a i mean it's a
horrible thing to say to the people of this country i couldn't think of a worse
thing to say is that
anyone can grow up to be president it's just like follow your dreams or any of
that meaningless
horseshit that has completely bankrupted and destroyed the generation that i
came from
meaningless advice backed by nothing which is what all of us got meaningless
advice backed by nothing
you can be the president but you kind of can this is the problem once you've
realized that you can be
the president you may want to be the president and then that's kind of the end
isn't it that would be
the end when my friend ryan gets the idea in his head that he should be the
president and he walks
out of uh checking people's id at gold's gym and begins his political career we
have a real problem
we you you you had to have a patina of something functioning and when you
destroy that people
people know they're being lied to people expect it people were like trump lied
they don't care
they get it he was dishonest the other night he broke the cnn fact check no one
what is that
what even is the cnn fact checker i'm sure trump lied i guarantee he lied but i
don't even know what
the cnn fact checker is i don't know if it's a machine is it a group of people
in a room what the fuck
is a cnn fact checker i don't know is it ai what is it is it a i don't know
what it is
but everyone kept saying that that he broke the cnn fact checker
trump made more than 30 false claims during cnn's presidential debate far more
than biden
the problem is that biden was too confused to lie that's why he's not gonna win
of course biden didn't make any false claims he was barely present
biden could have hit trump with abortion the big vulnerability for the republicans
is abortion
americans by their nature are not fundamentalist religious psychopaths they don't
want their four
year old kid transitioning but they also don't want an eight week abortion ban
and if if the democrats
biden had hit trump with that and said and he tried but he was so confused and
so out of it it didn't
really land the strongest issue was abortion he started talking about the lincoln
riley chick
was killed by an illegal immigrant which again is a is a is a vulnerability for
the democrats
but the vulnerability for the republicans is abortion someone on that stage and
the only one was there
was biden but whoever it was let's say it was gavin newsom let's say it was gretchen
whitmer the
woman who faked her own kidnapping i'm just saying i don't know who it's gonna
be which is kind of a
fun archetype of person to be honest a woman who faked her on kidnapping
because she's so
wants so badly to be uh you know paid attention to but whoever was on that
stage should have said
a vote for this man is a vote for an eight-week abortion ban which may or may
not be true and the
republicans may or may not have success passing that however a constitutional
amendment to ban abortion
you gotta go with what is working white women in the suburbs are swing voters
they do not want an
abortion ban they do not want endless immigration they do not want defunding of
police they want safe
communities they want schools they don't love diversity equity and inclusion
they don't love
critical race theory they don't want gender theory in schools for the most part
however they also do not
want an eight-week abortion ban they probably don't want the 10 commandments in
schools i don't think
they they they they are white people who drink wine have you ever met white
people who drink wine
i know a lot of white people who drink wine they are not by their nature they
believe not in nothing
you know why wine is nice the weather in southern california is nice pool and
patio types like a few things their pools and
their patios they don't want people running through their yard with