Name: Joe Biden & Something Different | The Tim Dillon Show #398
Uploaded: 2024-07-06T16:39:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Biden & Something Different | The Tim Dillon Show #398' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Biden & Something Different | The Tim Dillon Show #398' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-06. Transcript available.

Joe Biden & Something Different | The Tim Dillon Show #398

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show.
Happy 4th of July weekend.
This period in American history is just to be enjoyed.
And I'm upset because I don't see people enjoying it
the way they should be.
I don't see full panic.
You know, they use those words in the headlines.
They go, it's panic, it's full panic, it's a breakdown.
But when you see people out, people should be ebullient and happy
because you have to sit back and enjoy this particular period in our history.
A senile man refuses to abdicate the presidency.
He's being encouraged to stay in the race by his wife,
a woman who at 55 years old got a doctorate of education
and makes people call her doctor.
She's not a doctor.
She's no more of a doctor than I'm a doctor.
His son, a crack addict who was just convicted on a gun charge,
is encouraging him to stay in the race.
His wife is saying, stay in the race.
Everybody else is pulling out.
Big money's pulling out.
Abigail Disney, and I mean, fuck her too,
but that big money, you know what I mean?
What did she ever do?
But she woke up with a bunch of money
and she doesn't want to give it to this corpse anymore.
And a lot of these people, a lot of these big Democratic fundraisers
are pulling money from Joe Biden and he still refuses to leave.
The senile president refuses to leave.
You must enjoy it.
You must sit back and enjoy it.
You, you, this is...
Everyone saw this coming from not only a mile away.
You know when you're landing in an airport and they say visibility is 10 miles?
That means that from 10 miles away, you can see the landing strip.
You can see the airport.
You can see the runway.
It's going to be okay.
When visibility is two or three miles, everybody better focus.
Visibility nine or 10 miles.
Nine or 10 miles out, you can see the runway.
It's good.
You're fine.
Everybody could see this coming from 10 miles out.
The media has been covering for Biden because they thought if they just covered,
lied, shut up.
And the campaign just dribbled him out for a press conference here, a State of
the Union there, very scripted, very tightly controlled appearances that he
would never reveal the extent of his dementia.
And the country could be continued to be run by the people around Biden,
primarily his advisors, people that we've heard of, people that we haven't
heard of, but that the country would be run by people in the Democratic
leadership, people behind the scenes, the military, interests that are defense
related.
And all of these people would be just, they were allowed to do whatever they
wanted because the face of the operation, Scranton, Joe Biden from Scranton, PA,
would be kept safe by the fact that everybody was lying.
The media was lying.
The citizenry was lying to themselves, which they have no problem doing.
They're quite good at it.
And that's what all the poison food is for and the drugs and all the
entertainment and the booze.
All of that is to help you lie to yourself and go, well, he's actually not that
bad.
He's actually pretty good.
Well, for his age, he's pretty good.
It's actually fine.
It's good at that.
I'll have another one.
Get another one for him too.
We'll have another one.
So they're very good at it.
And we know the media is good at it.
And then he came out and all open mouth, mouth agape, staring into headlights,
just completely not there.
A hollow husk of a person who had been that way in private for a long time and
who, you know, they juiced him for the State of the Union and it worked.
And drugs don't always work.
I was a drug addict for many years.
They don't always work.
Do a nice close up on that.
This is the expression when drugs don't work.
I've paid for a lot of drugs and they haven't been effective.
And that's actually exactly how you look.
I would be sitting somewhere on a couch in some crack house looking like that
going, why isn't this thing working?
Why isn't this pill working?
You ever buy bad ecstasy in the early 2000s?
I'm not talking about this liquid Molly or whatever the fuck these kids are
doing now at Coachella.
I'm talking about a pill with a little Mitsubishi logo etched in it and it
doesn't even work.
How does this not even work?
Because you got fucked.
So whatever they shot him up with, whatever fucking Pulp Fiction adrenaline
shot they gave him through the fucking heart plate, chest plate, breast plate,
whatever.
As I said, I'm not a doctor.
Jill is.
But whatever, that didn't work here.
It did for the State of the Union.
He wasn't great.
He was still showing signs of, if we were an honest society, we are not.
But if we were, you would watch the State of the Union and go, he's too old.
But even me, watch the State of the Union and go, they have got him on supersonic
drugs, something.
Whatever technology that DARPA has, that alien technology that they're going to
use against China in, I don't know, two months when we get into a war.
But whatever they have, I imagine that the pharmaceutical industry had things
that were similar to that that we didn't know about.
Drugs that, you know, and I was thinking that they were going to put him on
those.
It didn't work.
He's gone.
He's gone.
He's not even there.
So I was at a barbecue.
I was at a few barbecues out in the Hamptons talking to people.
And I was basically, you know, the Hamptons is largely lots of Democrats.
Andrew Schultz, very nice having me there.
And little Mabu, who's a rapper, drill rapper, nice guy, doing very well.
And he said that it's less violent, the drill rap now.
I asked him, I said, is it still a lot of the killing?
He said it's less of that.
And then he said, because life, he goes, because that life, he's like, yo, it's
like it's either death or jail.
That's how, like, it ends.
And I'm like, good point.
So, but there was a woman there, a white lady at the barbecue.
She goes, I love drill rap.
And I don't like, I think it's, Eric Adams doesn't like drill rap.
He blames the drill rap.
But I like, I love her rap.
Just a white lady, a liberal white woman with a glass of wine.
I like drill rap.
It's good.
It gets people, these kids from the Bronx, it gets them exercising.
And it's important.
But drill rap, of course, is, you know, has its benefits, I'm sure.
But also is quite violent.
It is.
And, you know, unfortunately.
But I was there and I was talking to people and I was talking to people and
these, this couple had gone to the Biden fundraiser a few days after the State
of the Union.
He had a fundraiser in the Hamptons and they went to it.
There was like 150 people, big money, big Democratic donors out in East Hampton
at a house.
They all show up.
They show up early.
They're standing there in the humidity.
Jill Biden goes up on stage and does a meandering speech about nothing, about
how him and her used to date and how he, I mean, this is, it couldn't be less
relevant to what's going on.
And Joe Biden gets up in the backyard of a humid Hamptons estate and starts babbling
about how, you know, Joe, Joe, when he, you know, asked me out the first time.
And all these sweaty billionaires are standing there.
And, you know, the Hamptons is not, you know, Malibu.
It's not like all these ripped retards.
It's actually quite smart, somewhat chubby, sweaty billionaires, you know, guys
in pink shirts sweating through them that are kind of angry, you know, and, and
they're standing in the back with their wives and their wives are, you know, it's,
again, they're doing the best they can.
Everyone's doing the best they can.
They're, some of these people are attractive for sure.
And a lot of them are, you know, rich and they're, they're standing there in
this humid Hamptons backyard.
Maybe they're eating a lobster roll or maybe they're staring and they're
sweating in the humidity.
And then Jill Biden, can you imagine this?
Because by the way, none of the people in this backyard think the Bidens.
Imagine, remember student council, no one respected the student council
president and no one cared.
That's the way they feel about the actual president.
They don't really care.
It doesn't mean anything to them.
These people have billions of dollars.
They travel privately.
They have businesses.
They, they, they're not in, it's not, oh my God, it's the president.
They all want something from the president.
They're concerned about the optics of the way the country looks because they're
doing business as an American.
So they don't want the president necessarily, you know, drooling or something
like that.
But they're not, they're not impressed by the sheer fact that the president,
you know, maybe Obama, because he was cool.
And they were like, whoa, he's cool.
He's young and he's cool.
This is, no one respects these people is what I'm saying.
You know, they're from Delaware.
They, they're from Pennsylvania, but they live in Delaware.
Everybody's nervous and worried here.
And all of these guys are, it's like student council.
It's like, okay, we got to sit through this.
We have to sit through this.
And what the fuck's this going to be?
Because they all just saw the debate.
It's not the quarterback.
The president's not really treated like the quarterback.
You know, out there, it's like the student council president where you go, this
guy, we need it.
Kind of.
We don't know why.
They don't really know why.
Those people that are so rich out there are kind of like, we need the
appearance of a president, but they don't know why.
It's like, if you're a really cool, popular, if you're anyone really in high
school, you don't really know what the student council does.
But you know that it goes on some kid's college letter that he was a student
council president.
So these people in the Hamptons are, they're kind of confused as to why we need
a president in general, let alone one with dementia.
They don't really get it.
So they're standing in the backyard, but they, they understand the, what they
all understand in that backyard.
150 of them in that sweaty, humid backyard in East Hampton, they all understand
one thing.
And that thing is lying.
They understand the importance of lying.
There's an art to it, how it needs to be done.
What lies people can swallow, big lies and little lies.
They're all well-versed in that.
They do it to their wives.
They do it to their shareholders.
They do it to their children.
They do it to their investors.
They do it to other people.
They do it to everyone they meet.
And in large part, that's why they're successful.
They're able to create a version of reality that works for them.
And then they give it to other people.
They go, this is the way it is.
They give it to them.
They go, here it is.
Chew on it.
And most people know it's kind of a lie, but they give up.
You give up halfway through.
You go, well, it doesn't really seem like it's true.
They're chewing.
I guess it's fine.
He's got reasons for saying what he does.
Like, so they're all standing there.
Jill Biden comes up, gives this meandering speech about nothing.
She doesn't, you know, she's not a compelling speaker.
She's a very vicious woman to keep her husband in this race, to keep him doing
this.
She's parade.
She's just, he's a puppet.
And they're just taking him out of Air Force One and putting him on a stage.
And the reason they all want to do this, by the way, is this family immediately,
when he steps down, Kamala steps up.
It's a bloodbath.
Trump wins.
And the rest of their lives, the rest of these people's lives are scorned and
deservedly so.
He could have given a speech two years ago very patriotically and said, I will
not be seeking re-election.
And Kamala, he could have stepped down.
She would have been the president.
She could have said, I'm not going to seek re-election either.
And then they could have had an open Democratic primary.
Whatever you think of the Democratic Party or him or her or whatever, all of
this was avoidable.
The reason that he has to stay in the race, and they are hoping that he just
wins, is because the other side is unfathomable to these people.
They are, for