Name: Twerk For Your Supper & The KHive | The Tim Dillon Show #403
Uploaded: 2024-08-03T16:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Twerk For Your Supper & The KHive | The Tim Dillon Show #403' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Twerk For Your Supper & The KHive | The Tim Dillon Show #403' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-03. Transcript available.

Twerk For Your Supper & The KHive | The Tim Dillon Show #403

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the tim dylan podcast the tim dylan show it's
different now
it's the tim dylan podcast for tax purposes we're calling it the tim dylan
podcast we're not
calling it the tim dylan show anymore it's a tim dylan podcast or live with tim
dylan
we should have a new name every six months there are restaurants in new york
and a lot of chinese restaurants i'm not saying anything about it i'm just
saying a lot of them
for tax purposes change the names um it'll be like new green bow and then it'll
be like nice
green bow and then it'll be like green bow and you go what's going on here but
i believe a lot of it's
taxes that's what it seems thank you to everyone who came out to wise guys in
vegas we announced
a show about four days before we did it and then we did um shows out there at
wise guys in las vegas
a lot of fun i went to the sphere you know my my you know you know the sphere
the dumbest people in
the world on social media are talking about the sphere i gotta see the sphere
and the sphere is fun
i guess the sphere is uh it's you know when i was growing up we had imax movie
theaters the sphere is
like this big orb made of it's a big led screen in the middle of vegas that is
shaped like a planet
like a sphere and you see it when you land the plane and they have concerts
there like you too
bono comes out and yells about aids or whatever he's still doing and the dead
and co and everything
and so you know and i'm not saying smart people aren't talking about the sphere
but i i've specifically
noticed on my own feeds the dumbest people that i have ever met um you know are
are on and on about
the sphere they cannot stop they want to go see it they need to see it there's
a special kind of dumb
um that will say will alert their social media feed that they are planning to
go to this sphere
as if to say look at what i'm about to do they'll they'll go on they go i gotta
check out this fear
and they post a photo of it or they they share a video and they're like
definitely checking this out
when i'm in vegas as if everyone was worried that they would go to vegas and
somehow miss this
um yeah they do a big eyeball it's fun so a friend of mine goes we got to go to
the sphere we got to
see the sphere it's at the venetian we got to see the sphere we got my attitude
about vegas is i like
high-end asians and that's it because most of vegas now is just bags of shit it's
bags of human shit
from america they come to vegas and they don't gamble they don't have the
attention span or the
money to uh play cards so they just kind of wander around these spaces and they're
herded into
restaurants and then the younger people will obviously go to nightclubs and
then many of these
uh bags of shit are herded into the sphere because it is a big so the darren aronofsky
the guy who did
black swan and requiem for a dream they produce this very weird uh like climate
uh you know like kind
of i don't know it feels like it's a little bit of an eco-terrorist perspective
on like
the you know it's like this weird movie that they have at the sphere right now
i believe it's called and
you can maybe look this up postcards from humanity or something like that i don't
know if there's a
trailer that we could play but the movie is uh you know it's about how human
beings have destroyed
the earth and that we i'm not kidding and we yeah can we play this trailer yeah
all right
this is the sphere
so this is part of the movie that he has uh postcards uh from
so now this right so he's got all these you know vibrant colors and it's you
know
they do this you know they're like spiders jumping out and
okay
that's uh kamala harris's
birthday party
so now darren aronofsky does this film
and darren aronofsky is supremely talented so i don't know why he's doing crap
like this but
apparently they're paying him enough money to do this which i i will take the
money too so anything
that i've ever and this is why i think people like the authenticity i bring
anything that i
criticize i will also do for money because guys like darren aronofsky realize
that who cares he's
done a lot of great shit anyway let's make this crap for fat people from ohio
who are herded into
the sphere which is a movie theater when bono's not on the stage singing about
aids and they'll watch
this movie about how they have destroyed uh the earth which is the film so and
then the film ends
where it's the creepiest thing you've ever seen
because it takes you through
civilization
and then of course you know
we got too many people
the buildings are too tall
we can't see the sun all that
and and and you know and we've destroyed
and it's a voice and then by the way
so this message by the way could not be
more lost by the way this is hilarious
it's in vegas this message of we've destroyed the planet with uh you know
wanting more and more was never enough and we built buildings that were so this
is happening at the sphere
in vegas at a hotel that's meant to look like italy
you're in this big movie theater and you're watching
this you know whatever it is 45 minute film about how
that uh the earth has been destroyed by people
and at the end of the movie i swear to god they go
but because the end of the movie it goes we can
we just need balance
and we're out of balance
we're building too much
we're using too much energy
we're destroying the planet
so at the end of the movie they go
some of us can come back
but not all of us
not all of us can come back to earth
the end of the movie
is that
we need
no i'm not kidding
go see this
the end of postcards
what's it called
postcards
yeah
the ends of uh
the end of postcards from earth
is
they
there
it talks about
we need a pretty
go see it
we need a pretty
significant
we need to eliminate a significant number of people on the planet
to make it nice again
that's kind of the message
at the end
they're like
but not all of us could come back
and then you have this like native american chick
and this black guy
or this indian chick
and this whatever
i don't know
two non-white people
god bless
love it love it
love it love it
love it love it in the k-hive
not commenting on it
i'm just saying
they land on another planet
to terraform that
and make it nice
but the end of postcards from the earth
is this
and this narrator going
and not all
we understood
that not all of us could go back
like that
that is the
ending message of this movie
in the sphere
that you're watching
is that
you know
that like
you know
so i go with
with my friend
and they're all like
we gotta see the sphere
and we go
and you walk into the sphere
and i buy the two best tickets
they're vip tickets
this cost me six hundred dollars
okay
vip director's tickets
director's tickets
cost me six hundred
three hundred each
two seventy eight
i believe
per ticket
to see this
imax movie
it's what it is
without the 3d glasses
so then they go
oh sir
actually you're entitled
to go to this vip lounge
where you get free merch
and my friend's a garbage person
so i go
no no no no no
we're not gonna do that
we're just gonna go to our seats
and my friend goes
no dude come on
we're gonna get the merch
and i go
what is wrong with you
he goes
dude i want the merch
so so
i'm with this animal
who wants to go
to the free lounge
to get the hat
and the sphere shirt
so me and this animal
go to this
then this woman goes
we're gonna give you a tour
of the sound
in the sphere
the sound system
i go
i don't
hey
i don't want any of this
and i'm being
and they're all shocked
by the way
at how
i'm like
they're upset
by the way
i've worked at these types of jobs
when someone says
they don't want you
to do your job
you're supposed to
take a breath
smile
kind of wink
and go
thank you
these people
are offended
they're really
really offended
that i do not want
to take a tour
of the sound system
at the sphere
let me tell you
why i don't want
to take the tour
i don't give a fuck
what the sound system
of the sphere
i don't care
will it be good
will it be fun
that's all i care about
i don't care
how many megawatt
i don't care
they're deeply offended
that i don't want to do
so then i
i relent
i go let's do it
i'm so disappointed
in myself
i go
all right
let's do it
because they look
horrified
one of the most
terrible
whatever you want
to call it
developments
of late
has been
you have
this cult
like
weird devotion
that certain
people have
to their
jobs
you either
have people
that don't
care at all
about their
jobs
and treat
you like
you're some
type of
obstacle
to their
own personal
fulfillment
when you walk
into a place
or you get
the other
extreme
there's nobody's
in the middle
anymore
you get the
other extreme
where people
have this
cult-like
devotion
they feel
very lucky
to be able
to share
with you
the sound
system
at the
sphere
and how
and here's
what we
did
and so
I'm standing
there with
my friend
this animal
who wants
to get
a shirt
and a hat
okay
so we go
we get the
shirt and a hat
we take the
tour of the
sound system
and then we go
to our seats
and then our
seats
we're sitting
there
and then they
play this movie
you know
let's kill
humanity
or whatever
they call it
postcards
from earth
and the
movie
is
you know
it's just
scenes of
different kinds
of people
doing different
things
right
um
it's weird
it's weird
it's kind of
weirdly racist
in a weird way
like
we're all just
watching these
different scenes
of like people
doing that
and then all of a
sudden it's just
like black people
in Africa
picking fruit
I'm telling you
and this is
and we're all
just sitting there
kind of
and you know
people are just
kind of like
but they have
like fun hats
I don't know
how Aronofsky
chose the
different slides
that go in
this
whatever he did
I don't know
if he staged
this or if he
whatever
so that the
premise of this
is that cities
and civilization
uh has destroyed
planet earth
we're out of
balance
and the only
way to get
back into
balance
is to get
rid of people
this is the
the thing
that Americans
are just
sitting in
the theater
watching this
it's like
weirdly like
the Obamas
have this deal
with Netflix
they made that
you know
kind of boring
movie with
Julia Roberts
and Mashahara
Ali about
which is an
okay movie
it wasn't
terrible
but it was
somewhat boring
and it was
that movie
on Netflix
it was in
the Hamptons
actually
and it was
called
Leave
uh
what was that
called
it was
Leave the
World Behind
Leave the
World Behind
and it's
this movie
about a
civil war
in America
and it's
this ominous
movie where
the majority
of it
you don't
really know
what's going
on or why
but you know
that there's
a civil war
in America
and by the way
that movie
was produced
by the
Obama's
production company
it's very
strange
it's odd
it's odd
that the
an ex
-president
is producing
a movie
about the
overthrow
of the
government
that he
led
it's odd
in the same
way
it's a little
strange
like
I understand
that Earth
is out of
balance
to a degree
and I
understand
that
you know
we've done
a lot of
damage to
the planet
but
the end
of the
thing
where they
go
and by
the way
not all
of
and we
understood
it's such
a creepy
line
and we
understood
not all
of us
could return
so then
who get
who returns
who gets
to
we understood
that not
all of us
could return
and then
afterwards
at the
end of
this
all of
these
bags
of human
shit
that visit
Las Vegas
they stand
up
now by
the way
people are
just watching
because of
the colors
so no one's
really
understanding
what the
what the
premise
or the
thesis
of the
short
film is
because
people are
just
they're
they're
it's 112
degrees
there
they just
sit in the
chair
that they
barely fit
in
and then
they watch
just colors
they're just
watching colors
like children
it's like
children
they're watching
colors
and they
watch
like a
an insect
flying
and you
can see
them
they go
like they
point
it's like
my godson
does
he's three
they point
at the
insect
these guys
40 50 60
years old
doesn't matter
and they're
sitting in
their seats
and they're
like look
at the
insect
and then
the women
some of
them jump
because the
