Name: Russian Influencers & Dying At Work | The Tim Dillon Show #408
Uploaded: 2024-09-07T16:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Russian Influencers & Dying At Work | The Tim Dillon Show #408' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Russian Influencers & Dying At Work | The Tim Dillon Show #408' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-07. Transcript available.

Russian Influencers & Dying At Work | The Tim Dillon Show #408

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the tim dillon show it is the last week i
believe with the summer
background that we really have not used only a few times um i spent a lot of
time this summer
in la shooting a show that comes out a special event that comes out on october
1st on netflix
i'll say very little about it i'll say more about it later um but it's uh about
um trans israeli volleyball players in russia no it's about it's a resurrection
of a genre of
television i believe the country deserves again that is my belief we will see
that is my belief
it is a genre of television i believe the united states of america at its
current moment deserves
and i have provided it for them um and that will be out october 1st on netflix
so i wasn't in new york
to use our beloved summer background the lovely northeastern beach but we will
be replacing it
yes and the lobster we will be replacing it with a fall autumnal background
very soon and uh we're
going to find an autumnal creature i don't know who it'll be but because it's
seasonal and as you get
older you are you're more cognizant and aware of the seasons because uh like
all things they signify
death all things after you are at a certain age you signify death everything
all things everything
you see a new decoration go up at target you go i'm gonna die have i done
enough that's what you
think when you walk around target and they start putting the pumpkins out have
i done enough have i done
enough have i done enough have i done enough will they remember me they don't
remember anyone will
they remember me have i done enough have i done enough will they remember me i'm
39 in january i
turned 40 and then you just at every moment everything you see becomes a signifier
of your own mortality
uh no matter how insignificant it is well we have pumpkin cheesecake now we're
all gonna die have i done
enough have i done enough there's so much pressure to make every moment count
it's exhausting and
that's why i went to the u.s open i go i gotta go to the u.s open because oh
god what if i don't
what if i don't go to the u.s open then what can i say that i've lived can i
say that i've lived
if i don't spend a disgusting amount of money on tickets to go see the u.s and
here's the thing
with the u.s open by the way let's get this out of the way and i don't this is
gonna sound uh you know
uh people are gonna read into this some type of racial thing and it's not you
know or or or a class
it's really about class more than it is about race man do i remember when i was
a kid and my
grandfather would get tickets to the u.s open and we would go as a family my
mother my father and myself
they give me a little cup of hagen daz and we got these amazing seats and once
i handed martina
navratilova that big hulking dyke i handed her a towel great great uh you know
tennis player and uh
and that was a you know great era right uh pete sampras and agassi and uh steffi
groff and martina
navratilova monica sellis the one who got stabbed the whole thing whatever um
my parents put me in a
tennis clinic when i was young there's this idea that your kid's going to be a
tennis player like
people did because what a nice thing right what a lovely thing that would be to
have your kid be a
tennis player so they all put them into you know everybody on long island goes
why don't you give
this a shit they put me in a little tent you go on the clay court and you whack
the ball around didn't
take didn't take but they in in they would we'd go to the u.s open and i
remember you could hear a pin
drop it was silent it was silent it was quiet the u.s open used to be really
quiet now the u.s open is
loud it's very loud it's very loud it's become a bit democratized if you get my
drift there's a lot
of people and they don't understand it's supposed to be a quiet sport you're
sitting and even on the
court side where we paid an ungodly amount of money for tickets and people
behind me are like
they're just talking drunk and eating chicken nuggets with caviar on them they
have a hundred
dollar set of chicken nuggets you dunking caviar i mean it's like what is
happening what is happening
by the way can anyone explain that it's just it's not nearly as civilized as it
once was
i don't know what's good there's people screaming and yelling bring up the caviar
nugget there it is
i tried it's too salty the chicken nugget is salty the caviar is salty as well
who's who's planning this but this is what's going on by the way you don't get
that much caviar you get
the idea that you get that much caviar you just don't you you you put a little
caviar in each
nugget the point is this the point is this we're lost now in the weeds tennis
has become you know and
then you're there people are like screaming they're trying to get chance going
like the with the foam
finger it's like guys that's not it then you're there and then there's people
there i bumped into
some twink who i knew and then he's like he's talking about this guy yannick
sinner who's like
the top ranked in the world i was like oh who's this guy he's like you don't
know he's the top ranked
in the world i go yeah yeah no one cares about this i don't care about this no
one cares we're just
going it's us open it's a fun thing to go this this guy's the center goes hot
and he's very talented
but no one cares so what do what do we mean and then the the people that really
care about tennis
are weird there's something wrong with them like the people that are really
good like i love watching
it the athleticism you want you know you sit close you know the but who cares
like what are we doing
you don't know he's the number one ranked what go away go away i want to find
out here and then forget
you just told me now i know this this idea that people who are they that are
like really into it
like really like really into this do you pay attention before it gets to the
grand slam level
well how do you even do that i guess i guess you'll watch it i don't know i
just find it disturbing
that people are they're like upset that i don't know who the rankings of the
people
i don't know you you don't oh well you don't you didn't you don't know that you
don't know this
he's actually not this one's she's number three in the world what what is this
i'm sorry i didn't look
at the sheet of who's number three no i'm just here it's just fun it's just a
fun thing to do the
climate is nice the weather is nice you can eat a heinous caviar nugget and
look at anna went tour
that ghost she's still around
katie couric i saw katie couric these people must be so fucking bored with life
already they're all
ready to go to another planet katie couric's just sitting there she's been
there she's been going to
this thing for 25 30 years i mean it's just they don't care anymore they're all
just that's the thing
you start to realize about these money new york people they're just so bored
you get to a certain
point they just want something to happen go up who was by the way they put um
they put people on
the uh jumbotron now no one knows who anyone is no one has a clue who any
person is at all
anymore so there's there's there's like three people they they've heard of it's
like kevin hart
jason sudeikis no one like literally no one knows who anyone is anymore so it's
so awkward
it's so awkward for the person on the jumbotron because they're just like they
they go on the
jumbotron no one cheers and there's just a rustling of like
and the person on the jumbotron is doing this
you go
you know have a little fun with it if you're on the jumbotron say something
wild you know
say something fun nobody nobody no nobody's excited to see anyone anymore that's
not our society
anymore by the way it's like very rarely like sudeikis got an applause kevin
hart like
there are people that like but it's also such a new york
no offense a little bit of a libtard media circus where like we know who's
gonna get the applause
we just do it's a certain it's you know oh there's bath bethany who i went with
one of the
she's on tiktok all the time talking about chicken salad fun woman very funny
she's they hop they threw her on the red carpet
she had no problem with that she likes that
i don't understand why there's a red carpet at a u.s open tennis match
what is this who's this for
by the way apparently everyone in the world's been getting money to talk about
russia and i've been defending them for free for 18 months
i have the worst ad people in the business no literally i have the worst ad
people in the business they are the worst i cannot get any i am here
literally defending russia for free on the show and apparently they are
throwing money
and it's not necessarily i'm being facetious i'm not necessarily defending russia
but i'm looking at the conflict in a nuanced way
and saying that the united states played a role in kind of provoking this
by talking about admitting ukraine into nato and that's not an opinion that i
that i have and no one else has it's shared by a lot of people and that's all i've
said
i've said let's look at it and let's not let's not go to a nuclear war
with russia that's all i've said but apparently russia has been throwing money
around
and creating fake media companies and i can't even get a taste
i can't even get a fucking taste
do you know how depressing it is to wake up and read a story
that people are getting stuffed with money from russia and i can't get nothing
and we don't know if any of this is true by the way this just came out u.s
officials
allege russian operatives illegally provided 10 million to fund videos by
american right-wing
social media stars god can you buy off the right-wing cheap huh 10 million no
offense what do you even
do with 10 million dollars in our country i'm not even kidding what can you do
with 10 million dollars
right now i mean i guess some of you could find something to do with it but
frankly
you're gonna risk uh this for 10 mil tennessee-based tenant media was
identified as a target of the rt scheme
according to media reports basically supposedly they funded a bunch of they're
buying influencers
russia's going out there buying influencers and apparently allegedly to get uh
to uh wield power
they are accused of carrying out a secret influence campaign in the united
states this is kind of a new
uh world that we're living in it's uh we're basically instead like they you
know all countries including us
games with the media and we influence the media of other countries and we play
games on the internet
we've been doing that for a long time we set up little sites for you know you
know to feed the chaos
going on like who we did the black lives matter protest everybody goes let's do
a couple let's have a little
fun right also all of these bots you know enrage people and exploit uh any type
of anger that's out
there and they try to create division amongst the people and now they're really
going directly to
influencers and they're buying those influencers uh directly this that i think
they paid tana mojo to put that
brooke scoffield back on after she dropped the n-bomb that's my guess i think
that was russia
or potentially china i don't know it might have been china did china i'm going
to allege right now
with no evidence just a hunch that tana mojo is being paid by china
to to bring brooke scoffield back on her canceled podcast it's a hunch i have
it's an instinct
and by the way this is a message for the brooke scoffields of the world who i
don't know i've met
once lovely lady i guess i don't know i don't i love tana tana who cares but i
do love her
can i make a comment on these youtubers getting canceled being racist at 13
i actually kind of agree with that and let me tell you why
you're not supposed to be racist at 13 you freak you're supposed to be racist
at my age when you've
met people and you've learned and you've been able to look at patterns that's
the whole point
who's racist at 13 what kind of hate monger you have to be to hate people as a
child
you're supposed 