Name: Sen. JD Vance | The Tim Dillon Show #414
Uploaded: 2024-10-26T16:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sen. JD Vance | The Tim Dillon Show #414' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sen. JD Vance | The Tim Dillon Show #414' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-26. Transcript available.

Sen. JD Vance | The Tim Dillon Show #414

Senator, thank you so much for coming on.
I appreciate it.
We're similar age.
We have similar accomplishments.
And that's...
We're like the same people, actually, yeah.
No, it's good to have you here.
You wrote a book.
I pretended to.
You're running for vice president.
I have a podcast.
So, but no, thank you so much.
I appreciate it.
How has it been running at the pace you're running,
introducing yourself to the public?
How has that felt with a family and a life?
Sure, sure.
Well, yeah.
Thank you for doing this, first of all.
No, thank you.
I know it's tough to rearrange your schedule,
and I appreciate it.
It wasn't that tough.
It's honestly just the craziest experience of my life, right?
Because, you know, I ran for Senate once before in my life,
a couple years ago.
We won, obviously, or I wouldn't be here.
You know, you drive around the state of Ohio
and, like, the back of a used Subaru
because that's what your staff is driving.
And you just, you know, it's, like, really cool
because you see the whole state.
Right.
This thing, you see the whole country.
Right.
Right.
And, like, we had some of my closest buddies
from high school join us on the campaign trail
a couple of days ago,
and it's, we go to Dallas, we go to Arizona,
we go to Nevada, we go back to Washington,
we go back to Ohio, like, in two and a half days.
Yeah.
We're in all these places.
So it's just really cool to see the country.
I mean, obviously, like, in some ways, it's exhausting,
but in other ways, it's, like, the most energizing thing
that you're doing because I'm one of these people
I, like, feed off the crowd
and I feed off the people that I meet.
And so, you know, the energy level
is off the charts right now,
which is one of the reasons why I think
that we're going to win.
And so, like, yeah, you don't sleep as much
maybe as I'd like to,
but then on the other hand,
you're just, like, so high on adrenaline
that I feel like I could do this for a lot longer.
Right.
The good thing, I mean, so we have three little kids, right?
We have a seven-year-old, a four-year-old,
and a two-year-old.
And we've been able, with a lot of family help,
to just make this kind of a family affair.
Yeah.
So for Trump's big rally in Madison Square Garden
in a couple days,
my cousin is going to fly up with our kids,
and then me and my wife are going to go up.
And so we'll, like, hang out in New York together.
It's amazing.
But then also do this rally at Madison Square Garden.
Like, my son, he's seven.
He's the oldest.
And it's very funny because he's, like,
really into Trump, even though he's never met him.
And so he's, like, when am I going to meet President Trump?
And the answer is at this rally at Madison Square Garden.
But do you know Don Jr. at all?
Yeah, we chat on Instagram, for sure.
Don's a really good dude.
He's one of my closest friends in politics.
Well, he met my son at an event in Charlotte
a couple weeks ago.
And Don was, like, you know,
hey, who do you think is better looking,
me or my dad?
And my son, just, like, deadpans,
definitely the real Donald Trump.
So I call President Trump and I tell him that.
And he's, like, that's good to hear.
Yeah.
That's good to hear.
Your son's now in the cabinet.
Yeah.
He's being vetted for the Secretary of State.
That's exactly right.
So you're traveling around the country,
and I'm sure you're meeting a lot of people.
Yeah.
What about it has anything,
any perception that you had changed
when you were out there?
Because as a comedian,
I've gone around the country,
not as much,
but a good amount.
And you see things,
and you do have a little paradigm shift.
Sure.
And you go 20 or 30 minutes
out of any major city,
you do see more poverty
than you would think.
Yep.
You do see areas
that have been kind of abandoned.
Sure.
Or forgotten.
Sure.
In many of our cities,
you see drug addiction,
a lot of homelessness,
a lot of kind of vacant spaces
in the downtown area.
Yeah.
You don't feel great about it.
That's right.
And then there are areas
that are beautiful,
and there are areas
where you can see people
are trying to hold on
and conserve the community
that they have.
Sure.
But there's a lot of areas
that you see that are struggling.
Of course.
Is that more evident
when you're traveling around?
I think it is
because you talk to people
a lot more.
I mean,
one of the paradigm shifts
that I've had is,
you know,
four months ago,
I'd been a senator
for two years.
I was, like,
very frustrated
with the policies
of Kamala Harris
and of Joe Biden, right?
I'm sort of pissed off
about that.
Well,
the thing that I think
that sometimes leads into
is you kind of get
this tunnel vision
about, like,
policy
and not about the people
who are actually affected by it.
Right.
And it also,
I think, honestly,
being out there
has made me more
fundamentally optimistic
about our country, right?
Because you're right,
there is a lot of poverty
and there's a lot of problems
in our cities
and I'll talk about that
in a second,
but, like,
you also,
you know,
I met this woman
really affected me
about a month or so ago
and usually what we'll do
is we'll do these rallies
but then we'll, like,
you know,
do photos with volunteers
and just people
who are helping out
the campaign
in some form or another
before we do these rallies
and this woman
comes up to me
and she's like,
I can't afford groceries.
You know,
I've been, like,
working my whole life.
Things are really tough.
She tells me that
for, like,
20, 30 seconds
and then she spends
three minutes
talking about
how she says a prayer
every single night
for me,
my wife,
and our three kids
by name.
She's memorized
the names of my children,
a guy she's never met
so that she can pray
for their safety
and you're like,
okay,
there's a generosity
of spirit out there
that, yeah,
we can be pissed off
about the policies
of Kamala Harris
and we should be,
frankly,
because she's a disaster
but we can also be,
I think,
more hopeful
about the country
and that's,
that's like a paradigm
shift that I've had
and the second thing
that I realized is
you talk about cities,
right,
so obviously
you're usually flying
into a city
even if you're not.
Has that woman
who can't afford
the groceries
seen any of the dancing
at the rallies?
Because to be,
no, no,
to be honest,
it is not nothing,
the dancing is going on.
There is a lot
of good dancing
and if she were
to perhaps see that,
she could stop
kind of being ungrateful
and kind of,
yeah,
you know,
I don't think this woman
Or heard about
Tim Walsh's time
in China?
That's interesting
that he's in China.
That's good,
I think.
I don't know
that Kamala Harris
dancing at the rallies
makes this woman
feel better
about not being able
to afford groceries,
right?
Dude,
there is just,
the thing that's different
about the Trump rallies
versus the Kamala Harris rallies
is the fake joy
of the Kamala Harris rallies
versus like,
we're actually having fun.
I mean,
people say,
like the media says,
all these Trump rallies
are so dark
and then you watch a Trump rally
for 90 minutes
and 30 minutes of it,
and this is the way
in which running
for vice president
is kind of like
being a stand-up comedian,
30 minutes is just
being funny as hell
because he has a great
sense of humor
and you realize
people actually are
having a good time.
Yeah,
they're pissed off
about the policies
of Kamala Harris,
but they're actually
really having fun
and we're having fun
out there.
when I watch her rallies,
I'm a terrible actor
and I was just in
one of the worst films
ever made,
Joker 2.
Well,
that's a commonality
of Kamala Harris.
Yes,
well,
you see the people
at her rallies
and they'll be kind of happy
and then the face drops
and they go back to this
immediately
and you go,
oh yeah,
something feels off.
Something's not authentic
about it,
you know?
That's definitely true.
I've tried to like
put my finger on
what it is about
Kamala Harris's
like the very fraudulent laugh
that I find so off-putting
and it's like the laugh
of somebody
who just made you
really uncomfortable
but then tries to
over-correct
by saying,
oh,
I'm just going to laugh at it
and then that's somehow
going to make it better
that I just like,
you know,
stepped on your foot
or like ran into your car.
Yes.
Right,
that's like the laugh
of the Kamala Harris.
Or bankrupted the country.
Yeah,
or bankrupted the country.
All shapes and sizes
are problems.
Open the border
and flood it.
Yeah,
it reminds me like,
you know,
I think I've caused
one car accident
in my life.
I was like 16.
Yeah.
And,
you know,
it was late,
it was dark,
you know,
it was really like
it had been raining.
Sure.
And so I like,
it was like a fender bender,
you know,
ran into this elderly couple
probably going five miles per hour.
Right.
And then I get out of the car
and I'm like,
ha ha ha,
you know,
like trying,
oh,
it's okay guys,
we're all fine.
That's the Kamala Harris laugh.
Come on,
to me,
it's the laugh
of somebody
who just ran into your car
and is trying to make it okay.
It's also when a reporter
asks her a question,
it's a substitute teacher
giving you homework.
And the class is going,
we don't want this.
Oh no.
Why are you doing it?
You don't want to do it.
We don't want you to do it.
That's exactly right.
Play the video.
Let's not do it.
That's right.
Let's just watch
where the red fern grows
rather than read the book.
We've heard from Kamala
for four years.
She was not
a vocal vice president.
That's right.
You know,
we barely heard from Biden.
We didn't really hear
from Kamala.
Biden had a very tough
debate performance.
He was replaced
in a way that's,
I mean,
I liken it to somebody
knocked on his door.
A threat to democracy?
Right.
Maybe just to throw
a turn around?
2 a.m.
they knock on his door
and he has a sleeping cap on
and he opens it
with a candle
and it's Pelosi and Obama,
I think.
This is what I imagine happens
and he opens it up
and then they go,
you're out
and she'll invoke
the 25th
and Kamala's right behind him
laughing
like the joker
and now she's the nominee.
Yeah.
Yeah,
that's basically
how I imagine it to.
Yeah.
It's,
man,
I honestly think
Biden is pissed off
about it.
He seems angry.
There are all of these
weird little ways
where he helps us.
He wears a Trump hat
at the firefighter.
He does this thing
where,
you know,
a couple weeks ago
she was starting
one of her big rallies
and he decides
to have a press conference
30 seconds into it.
Right?
So they're all watching
Joe Biden
and not Kamala Harris
or he'll say something nice
here and there
about Donald Trump.
Yeah.
It would not shock me
if Joe Biden
votes for Donald Trump.
I like that he's kind of,
he's ornery.
I do too.
And he's showing
his teeth a little bit
and he's having fun
because he's not running anymore
and he's an older guy
but he's having fun.
He's putting on the Trump hat.
He's getting in little fights
with people at the rallies.
Yeah,
that's right.
Well,
you know,
President Trump said
at the Al Smith dinner,
he was like,
when I was running
against this guy,
I really hated him.
Now I kind of like him.
And I kind of feel like that
about Biden
because,
yeah,
the policies have been disastrous
but he has these flashes
of honesty
about Kamala Harris
and man,
okay,
you talked about,
we gotta go back to something,
you talked about Kamala Harris
as like getting an assignment
from the media from school.
Yeah.
There are all kinds
of weird high school vibes
running through
the Kamala Harris campaign,
right?
So the biggest one is,
did you see this rally
that she did
with Liz Cheney
a couple of days ago,
right?
No,
but I love Dick Cheney
and the whole Cheney family
and to me,
when I think about democracy,
I personally think about Dick Cheney.
He's a figure from my childhood
that I love and respect.
Yeah.
Some of the greatest years of my life,
Iraq, Abu Ghraib,
Dick Cheney,
shout out to Dick Cheney
and Liz.
If you really care about
human rights and democracy,
Dick Cheney,
he's the guy.
Nobody better.
He's the guy.
So they do this event
with Liz.
Yeah,
I thought maybe you were say