Name: Elon’s Salute & The Inauguration Bishop | The Tim Dillon Show #428
Uploaded: 2025-01-25T17:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Elon’s Salute & The Inauguration Bishop | The Tim Dillon Show #428' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Elon’s Salute & The Inauguration Bishop | The Tim Dillon Show #428' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-25. Transcript available.

Elon’s Salute & The Inauguration Bishop | The Tim Dillon Show #428

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show.
We are here again for your viewing and listening pleasure.
Thank you, everybody, for all the birthday wishes.
Very kind of many of you.
Very nice of you to reach out and wish me a happy birthday.
I do not love birthdays.
My mother never liked them.
The running joke in our home was that she was turning 29 again every year.
She was 29, and then 29, and then 29.
But she was actually a 40-year-old schizophrenic.
So that was the bit.
That was the joke.
That was, like, the running bit.
It's like she was, not only was she not 29, she was severely ill.
But I don't love them.
And the reason I don't love birthdays is because the Irish don't like to be
celebrated.
It's not in our nature.
Arabs like it.
The Jews like it.
The bat mitzvahs, the bar mitzvahs, things like that.
Let's be honest.
They love it.
Certain cultures are better at it.
Italians like it.
Like, the Irish don't necessarily love to be celebrated.
So even they did a big cake for me last night, and all this stuff was very nice.
But I made a joke.
I went, oh, this is for the ceasefire.
And I blew out the candle.
Because the pomp and circumstance is not, because I have the DNA of an Irish
person,
that is not second nature to us.
Um, so birthdays, like, everybody going, happy birthday.
Like, it's your day.
It's like, it's, number one, it's fake.
It's not my day.
It's not my day.
I can't do anything on my birthday that I, if I went and I threw hot coffee in
a barista's face,
and the cops came, and I went, it's my day.
Like, that doesn't work.
It's actually not your day.
It's not.
So, I did a party at the stand comedy club and restaurant, and, um, uh, a
favorite of mine.
And I want to thank the owners for, um, uh, going all out.
You know, they had a nice sculpture of me and a sword swallower and a contortionist,
and I paid for it all.
And I want to thank them for that.
Because initially I wanted an open bar and a couple of pizzas,
but they said, listen, let's bang them over the head.
And I think that is important.
It is important to bang people over the head, by the way.
Because there was probably a thought process in their mind.
They were like, you know, maybe, and this is my friend Dan said this, Dan St.
Germain.
He goes, they were probably thinking, like, maybe, you know, this guy's career
is going well.
It's on the rise.
Maybe one day he brings us on as a production company.
And then they started laughing, and he went, that's not happening.
Bang him over the head.
Get a sword swallower.
Get a fucking, uh, a bust.
I have an ice sculpture bust of my set.
It was Saddam Hussein's party.
Like, it was a, if you didn't know who I was, you probably walked in and went,
this guy's a psychopath.
You know?
It looks like I, I mean, it was a dictator's birthday, for sure.
And I didn't, you know.
But I thanked them for doing it.
It was nice of them for doing it.
And I appreciate it.
And everybody that came out.
A lot of people I hadn't seen in a long time.
And those things are never that fun when it's your birthday, because you're
walking around talking to everyone and saying hello.
And it's not that you don't want to do that.
It's just that it's a lot of work to go around the room and say, oh, it's good
to see you.
I haven't seen you in a while.
One guy said to me, he goes, when did we stop, when were we stopping friends?
Was it 2008?
And he said that.
There's a guy I went to high school with.
I go, yeah, I guess.
I mean, I don't, you know.
So that's what you get.
I mean, look, that's Saddam Hussein's birthday.
That's literally what the Stan got for me.
That's literally a photo from my party.
And let's address the Elon thing now, too, because I think there's a big
misunderstanding.
And I like to clear it up for people, because I don't view the show as a news
show.
I view it as a show where I'm having fun and then occasionally interesting
things happen.
And you may learn something you didn't know.
But I don't view it as I'm not here to educate you.
If it happens, hey, it happens, right?
People are mad at the salute that he did.
Show what he did.
And I'm going to go into this because people are, I think they're off base.
You know, there are elections that come and go.
Some elections are, you know, important, some are not.
But this one, this one, this one really mattered.
And I just want to say thank you for making it happen.
Thank you.
Yeah.
So people are mad at this gesture.
All this gesture means is Heil Hitler.
This is all this gesture means.
This is a gesture signifying your support for Hitler.
Hitler was a politician in Germany in the 1940s.
People had varying degrees of, you know, some people really liked what he did.
A lot of people were not into it.
And that's fair.
And I think when we look back on history, a lot of, you know, now, you know
what I mean?
It's like things that happened then, like we'd never do now.
And I think that's Hitler, that we run into that a little bit with Hitler,
where it's like, like at the time, you know what I mean?
It's like the word oriental.
It's a no-no now.
But back then it wasn't, you know?
So I think this Hitler thing is just one of those things that, you know, he's
just heiling Hitler.
And people seem really upset about that.
I think they think that means something else.
He's just saying, I like Hitler.
That's not, he's not saying, like, I love everything Hitler did.
Or maybe, maybe, he's not saying, like, oh, Hitler was, like, let's go down the
list of what he did.
Oh, good, good, good, good, good.
No.
No, he's just saying, overall, I happen to like Adolf Hitler.
And fine, and he did.
So, people that are upset about, I can't help you.
I just can't help you.
Of course, um, of course, they're, they're, what, what did I predict?
Why am I always right?
Did I not predict there was going to be a fallout with the tech people?
Vivek Ramalamalam is already thinking about, and that's not racist when I do
that, is his name.
That is his name.
Ramalamalamyang!
Samawamia!
He is, he is now going to run for the governor of Ohio.
He's at a doge, the Department of Government Efficiency.
Elon and Vivek, everybody, everybody in that MAGA world was a little sick of
Vivek running the mouth.
Stop running the mouth.
Take the gulab jam and put it in the mouth.
That's a little fat, round little pancake that the Indians make, and they do it
in a sugar syrup, and it's actually really cool.
But he's out already.
He's thinking about running for, the guy was in for hours.
Vivek Ramalamalam was in for hours.
And then he started saying Americans are fat, lazy pieces of shit.
Fair.
But you own it!
And I did a whole rant on that, and I was right.
I was correct.
He was basically making the argument that we needed to bring in talent from
other countries because Americans weren't up to the task.
The exact argument made for years by both Democrats and Republicans, the Koch
brothers, the Chamber of Commerce, most billionaires in America.
They, too, believe that Americans are not up to the task, which is why they
continually ship their jobs overseas, bring in cheaper labor here.
And so now Vivek is out.
He's trying to run for governor of Ohio.
I don't think that will work.
I don't know.
I don't know.
But he's out.
I called it.
The reason this isn't working, I called it, and I can even find the clips for
you.
There are a bunch of people in Trump's orbit who believe they are using Donald
Trump, that they are going to get something out of Donald Trump.
And listen, they may get something out of Donald Trump because he's the
president of the United States and he has the power to give people things that
they want.
Grants, funding, access, the things that all presidents can give people.
The mistake these people are making is that Trump does not see them coming a
mile away.
He does.
You may love Trump.
You may hate Trump.
You may think he's vulgar.
You may think he's a dictator.
You might not like his policy.
It's all whatever you want.
That being said, his political instincts, you even have to admit, even if you're
his enemy,
you have to admit that his political instincts are, for the most part, pretty
damn good.
He sees these people coming a mile away, and then he keeps them around.
A lot of them are fall guys.
They're fall guys.
You need a fall guy.
When you're doing a lot of stuff, when you're moving through the world, pissing
people off, going left, going right.
I don't mean politically.
I just mean, you know, literally making lefts, making rights, going through to
town, driving around, screaming, the radio's on.
You need a fall guy.
You need somebody to share the burden.
When people get angry at you, you have to deflect that anger because you have
to keep being productive.
This is the meaning of Teflon Don, meaning like what they said about Gotti,
what they say about all these guys.
You have to refract the light off yourself, the heat that you're getting for
whatever, and it's got to go somewhere else.
You know, so all of these guys who think they're using Trump or that they're
going to get one over on Trump, and they behave in these ways, and you're mystified
by it.
You go, why is he keeping some of these people around?
My belief from watching him, you need a fall guy.
He needs somebody to turn around and go, that guy's out.
I mean, this is, you know, The Apprentice, you're fired.
This is where he comes from.
He comes from the world of reality television, the reality spectacle.
The reason nobody's been able to beat him is because he understands that world
better than everyone else, which is our world now.
When you see Mike Tyson sitting, you know, Jake Paul and Mike Tyson, and Mike
Tyson is sitting on Jake Paul's shoulders at the inauguration,
you realize that everything is now the internet.
Everything.
Everything is now the internet.
Nothing has survived.
The old world is in ruins.
It's in ruins.
It's just spires of churches.
I'm not saying anything about religion.
I'm just saying it's all different buildings.
It looks, the old world looks completely destroyed because it is.
And the old world, I mean, the media, I mean, the legitimacy of scientific
institutions, academic institutions, the government, the media, entertainment
business, the world.
The world in which we all lived for many, many years has died.
And the people that cannot accept that or are confused by that, there's a lag.
They don't quite get it.
They're talking about the future of CNN, the future of CNN.
Well, what will come of CNN?
They don't get it.
They're unaware.
Trump understands this world, this new world that he helped create.
And the people around him created, they created it with reality television, and
then they created it with social media.
And those are the two big cultural forces that have changed the way people
behave and the way people process information.
And the people that had a monopoly on information don't have one anymore.
And now everybody can get into the game for better or for worse.
And Trump understands all of those things.
So this new world that has been created where you have Jake Paul and Mike Tyson
at the inauguration, they just had a big fight, and they might have another one.
And the spectacle of this, Trump understands full well the value of that.
So these guys that are around him, these tech guys, you know, for example,
Trump's AI project with Sam Altman, where he gave Sam Altman, I believe, an
investment of $500 million.
Don't quote me on that, but I believe it is $500.
Is it $500 billion?
Mm-hmm.
$500 million.
Look at me.
$500 billion to Sam Altman with this AI project.
And then Elon Musk and Sam Altman start fighting on X because Elon feels like
he's been pushed out a little bit.
President Donald Trump on Tuesday talked about joint venture investing in about
up to $500 billion for infrastructure tied to artificial intelligence by a new
partnership formed by OpenAI, Oracle, and SoftBank.
The new entity, Stargate.
Wasn't that a good movie, Stargate, with Jodie Foster?
Was that th