Name: Emilia Pérez & The New Gaza | The Tim Dillon Show #430
Uploaded: 2025-02-08T17:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Emilia Pérez & The New Gaza | The Tim Dillon Show #430' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Emilia Pérez & The New Gaza | The Tim Dillon Show #430' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-08. Transcript available.

Emilia Pérez & The New Gaza | The Tim Dillon Show #430

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show.
I am here in Los Angeles.
I'm in the new movie Busboys with Theovana David Spade.
I've had makeup on my face for the last four days in a row,
three days, and it's been my face is like,
I have very sensitive skin and it's insane.
The chemical makeup that is used is, you know,
such a horrible thing for fair Irish white Hitler skin that I have,
and it's been very, very tough for me.
And I've been dealing with that, but the movie is hilarious
and very funny and very excited to be a part of it, you know,
and, you know, it'll come out, I don't know,
but we've been doing it and it's a lot of fun.
And, you know, Spade's a legend and Theo's a legend.
These guys are just the best.
So it's great to be working with them.
Yeah, there's a variety article about it.
Spade and Theovana star in Buddy Comedy Busboys.
And it's really funny.
It's an old school comedy.
It's really like a, you know,
throwback to when things were really, really, really,
you know, movies were funny.
Set in a border town in Arizona,
the movie follows David and Theo,
two friends who think becoming waiters will solve all of their problems.
It is great.
It is really funny and really enjoyable.
And that's where I'm at here in L.A. right now.
And it's raining here.
And the rain has hopefully cleared the air.
The concern with L.A., the very health conscious L.A.
was the air.
After the fires, what is the air quality?
Everybody was debating it and calling their doctors.
Is it okay?
What about the air?
People wanted to make sure they could go outside.
And the carcinogens, cancer-causing chemicals,
the batteries from the burned-up Teslas,
the lithium-ion, all of that stuff,
the toxic, the toxicity is out of control.
So people are correct to wonder if it is safe.
I think now there's going to be mudslides a little bit,
maybe, perhaps, and toxic ash.
So there will be rivers of toxic ash
and mudslides and things like that.
So another joy, another blessing for Los Angeles,
the city of Los Angeles.
Another win, another W.
People here, man, I hope they're resilient.
I mean, I'm leaving.
But I hope the rest of you are resilient.
That's the way I feel about areas, by the way.
I leave.
I love that you all fight for it.
I'm fighting for it.
It's my home.
Good for you.
I go.
I leave.
I leave.
I leave.
I believe in me.
That's what I believe in.
I believe in me.
I don't believe a zip code is my worth.
I don't believe I am connected to a landmass
more than I am connected to my desire to live.
So while I will visit Los Angeles,
you know, I enjoy it, you know, from time to time.
I've never really lived here full time.
I've always been, I hop around.
And I, and I, my heart goes out.
And my, I will say this.
I respect the people who feel rooted here,
who feel like this is their home
and they want to stay and fight for it.
I personally am leaving.
I will leave.
I'm going to go.
But the people here
that feel like the mudslides and the fires
and the toxic ash
and the earthquakes
and the crime
and the taxes
and the evaporating industry
and all of that,
I get it.
Hey man, the guacamole is good.
It is good.
That's the reality.
It's good.
And the sushi is good.
And it's a great city.
And it's a great place to live.
By the way,
newsflash,
nowhere is great to live
for your entire life.
You have eras in your life.
Taylor Swift said this.
And there's an era to be here.
There's an era to stay put.
There's an era to flee.
There's times to,
you know,
you got to know when to hold them,
know when to fold them.
And I think there are just times
when an area is beating you down
on every level.
It is not a mark of strength
to stay.
It is a mark of stupidity.
Do not confuse stupidity
with strength.
Fire debris and ash contain,
quote,
harmful substances
such as asbestos,
heavy metals,
and toxic chemicals.
The Los Angeles County Department
of Public Health Director,
Dr. Barber.
And they wouldn't even let me drive
down the PCH.
because I called Nobu Malibu
and I said,
I want a reservation
and I want to see some devastation.
And I wasn't allowed.
I wanted to take
a little survey
of the damage myself,
see if there's any land
buying opportunities.
That's my main thing now.
Can I get in?
Can I get in?
I want to sponsor
an event
at the City Hall
or whatever.
Maybe not City Hall,
but somewhere official,
a government building.
And I want to call it
how do we buy
burned land
and it's going to be
for investors.
It's going to be
a,
and maybe we'll book
like a hotel conference room
and we do
a little summit.
We do a little talk
for the members
of the investment community.
How do we buy
Altadena?
How do we buy
the charred land
from out from under
these people
and turn it
into something?
How can we do it?
Because god damn it,
I'll be damned
if Gaza
is going to get
a resort
but we're not going
to throw one
in the Palisades.
Gaza's going to get
a couple of new
outdoor malls
in a Four Seasons
but we're not going
to do it
in the Palisades.
Again,
people were messaging me
going,
I can't believe
you called it
on the Gaza thing
and it's like,
guys,
that's not even
an incident
where I called it.
That is the most
obvious thing ever
if you're a sentient
human being
and you've paid attention
to anything ever.
It's obvious
they were never,
the plan for Gaza
was never
for the Palestinians
to go back
and play soccer there.
That was never
the plan
for Gaza.
The plan for Gaza
was redevelopment.
Now,
a lot of people
are angry
at Donald Trump.
Do we have the video
of the President
of the United States
suggesting
that perhaps
the United States
should occupy Gaza,
rebuild it,
and have a presence
there indefinitely.
Now,
I know what he meant.
A lot of people
don't.
And a lot of people
are judging his plan
without even looking
at the renderings.
When a new condo
is built,
you have to look
at the renderings
first.
What are the finishes
going to be?
Is it a light
or a dark color palette?
Trump didn't get
into specifics.
There may be gyms
and pools,
a port-a-cachere
you can pull your car up.
There may be services.
There may be
a private restaurant
for the residents.
We don't know.
We don't know.
This is a very ambitious
new development project.
New dev
is the term
in the biz.
And our leader,
Donald Trump,
our president,
is suggesting
a redevelopment
of Gaza
and people are flipping out
and screaming
and they have not seen
one rendering.
It actually might be stunning.
Now,
I know what you're saying to me.
Tim,
hold on.
Nothing ever really looks
like the renderings.
The brochure
and the online renderings
usually show you
the penthouse.
They show you
the sky collection,
the tower residences.
And you,
the $4 million condo
is a little closet
somewhere like
on floor seven
right after
the amenity floor.
But what I'm saying
is you cannot judge
Donald Trump's plan
to fill Gaza
with nice
high-end shit
until you've seen
the fucking renderings.
You have not seen
what this man
is proposing.
You're judging him
because you're all,
it's knee-jerk reaction time
all the time
with people.
I bet he's got
something,
you know,
for example,
the Grove
in Los Angeles
which Rick Caruso
owns who should be
the mayor,
but these fucking
psychopaths
that live here
don't want that.
This guy developed
these outdoor malls
that are nice.
They're really nice.
I don't know
what people think
we have left
in America
but all we really
have left
is an outdoor mall.
But I don't know
in what fantasy land
they think
that instead of
having outdoor malls
we should have
indigenous drum circles
or whatever these people
think is coming.
He developed
all these nice
outdoor malls
and one of them
has a train
going through it
on Christmas.
So what if
Donald Trump's,
what if that
was part of the plan?
Let's listen
to Donald Trump
in his own words
discussing his plan
to turn Gaza
into a luxury resort
which I bet
people would like.
It would cheer it up
and I'm being serious.
Now obviously
I don't like
an open-ended
commitment in the Middle East
for American soldiers
and troops.
I don't like it.
I don't think
the Palestinians
should be kicked
out of Gaza.
What I am saying
is that
a farmer's market,
a couple of outdoor malls,
some nice condos,
a boardwalk,
an amusement park,
a couple of
a driving range.
This is not
the worst idea.
Now it was,
he did not present it
well.
He's shooting
from the hip.
It's off the cuff.
America doing it,
I'm not necessarily
in love with.
But let's hear him.
Let's listen to this man
because again,
I think we're all
jumping the gun here
and we're not realizing
there could be,
it could be nice
to have
like
more of a global area
with a few
Palestinian restaurants,
which I think
is what they're getting.
Like a few
Palestinian restaurants,
because they love
the olive oil,
so you do some of that.
But you make it more
of a global hub
for money laundering
and kind of
a corporate,
empty corporate shell
of a place
that moves people
in and out of it
quickly
and sucks their money
away from them.
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So, all right,
we're going to listen
to the president
of the United States
talking about his plan
for Gaza
which has gotten
many people upset.
Not a lot of people
are supportive of this.
People don't want
a commitment
in the Middle East.
They don't want
a U.S. face
on the rebuilding of Gaza.
Saudi Arabia
came out and said,
we're not going to
normalize relations
with Israel
as long as this
is the plan.
I think Egypt,
other allies,
other people,
whatever,
people, you know,
regional actors
don't want this.
But let's let
the president speak.
Give him,
give him the floor
here because
we don't know
what they're planning.
We don't.
You know,
I feel this way
about most development
where you don't know
what's going to happen.
Are there amenities?
Is there a pool?
Is there a private restaurant?
Is there a house car?
Is it one of them
that will only take you
three miles?
Because there's not
a lot of stuff
in the vicinity
of three miles, right?
Is there a portico share?
Do you pull in?
Are there valets?
Is it a 24-hour valet?
Is it a full-service building?
Is it a fake?
Is it a virtual doorman?
Or is it real?
These are the questions.
that we must ask here.
Is it luxury?
Is it uber luxury?
There is a difference.
What's going to happen?
This was always
going to be a thing.
There was never
going to be a si