Name: India vs. Pakistan, Portnoy, & Jennifer Aniston’s Stalker | The Tim Dillon Show #443
Uploaded: 2025-05-10T16:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'India vs. Pakistan, Portnoy, & Jennifer Aniston’s Stalker | The Tim Dillon Show #443' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'India vs. Pakistan, Portnoy, & Jennifer Aniston’s Stalker | The Tim Dillon Show #443' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-10. Transcript available.

India vs. Pakistan, Portnoy, & Jennifer Aniston’s Stalker | The Tim Dillon Show #443

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show.
Thank you all for joining us again.
And I'm making a sign for Dave Portnoy's bar in Philadelphia
that says something nice about the Jews.
And I'm just going to put that up because just to even it out.
Because that guy, that guy, Mo Khan, he went out and he did a,
he had one of those signs that the, you know, like they hold up at the bar.
You know, it's like, usually it's like happy birthday or go Lakers.
And this time I believe it was fuck the Jews.
And Dave Portnoy was upset about that.
So now him and the, and he said he was going to,
he was going to pay for the kid to go to Auschwitz.
He was going to send him to Auschwitz, which is kind of nice.
It's kind of a nice thing to pay for a trip there.
But then he reneged on that.
And now him and the kid are like in a legal battle.
And then the kid started like a GoFundMe.
And he's got like 15,000 in the GoFundMe.
Which I don't, I don't know what's going on.
But the kid like, obviously it's stupid to do that.
The internet's not real life.
You can't, you can't, it's not, you can't do that.
But he's raised 15 G's.
I don't know what's going on.
I'm telling you, if you think, supposedly the kid's like,
hey, I'm in a fight with the Jews.
And he raised 15 G's.
I'm telling you this right now.
If you only got 15 G's, that's not going far.
They're going to win.
I'm telling you right now, they're going to win.
One of the fundraising pages, Justice for Muhammad Adnan Khan,
was organized by Temple graduate and free speech advocate Alex Morris,
hopes to raise 75 thou.
Okay.
Well, whatever.
Don't make a sign that says that.
That's not nice.
Dave Portnoy's going a little hard too.
Here's the thing with the isms.
Semitism, anti-Semitism, all the other ones as well, right?
The other ones are phobias, homophobia, transphobia.
What are the other isms?
There's anti-Semitism, misogyny, that's an E.
Phobia, transphobia, homophobia, racism.
Semitism, racism, nativism, jingoism.
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Here's the thing.
The more you talk about the discrimination, the more you get it.
It's like one of these laws that no one realizes.
The more you talk about the thing, you just get more of the thing.
If you just talk about something all the time and people are, it's just, you're
going to manifest it.
You're going to end up seeing more of it everywhere.
You're going to react.
People are going to troll you with it because people like that.
You're showing them how you're going to react.
The only way to defeat a lot of that is to ignore it, which is like the hardest
thing in the world to ignore it.
I'm not saying like you ignore the kid with the sign.
Like, obviously, you're like, hey, fuck you, man.
But like, I don't know if going on like a massive campaign because this dumb
kid made a sign is going to like make anti-Semitism go away.
That's the thing.
Like, if I wanted homophobia to go away, if like somebody called me a faggot
and I spent three weeks talking about it.
Can you believe he called me a faggot?
Well, I'm going to pay for a trip for you to go to Africa and see AIDS because
there's AIDS there.
It's not gay.
I mean, there's just AIDS.
And that's where I would send a person.
Send them to Africa to see AIDS.
Go see what AIDS does.
After a while, people would just kind of get upset.
They'd be like, all right.
All right.
All right.
I think that's the way to deal with bigotry is to ignore it and pretend it's
not real.
And then it kind of goes away because it loses its power.
If you endlessly talk about it, if you bring it up all the time and if you keep,
you know, like talking as victim and all this stuff, it's like people just,
people turn it off.
They get, they shut it off.
They change the channel.
It's, it's, it's enough already.
I get it.
I get, you know, also it's like, you know, I like the important, but it's like,
you, you're, you don't have to defend the whole of the Jewish people.
They can handle themselves.
Like, he's like the guardian of, you know, like I'm doing this to, it's like,
all right.
That's the way I feel about it.
That's my opinion.
It's those words.
All right.
In exactly that way.
All right.
All right.
Like, how long does this go on is my question.
It's already been multiple days of this.
How long does this go on?
How long must this continue?
I'm asking how long must this continue?
How much, like how many press conferences do is this, do we need for this?
The kid's an idiot.
He got suspended by Temple University, which I don't know anything about that
school, but it's not great.
It's not a good school.
It's not like he's going to a good school.
He's going to have a, it's whatever.
It's Temple.
It's fine.
Who cares?
The president of the university issued a statement condemning antisemitism and
suspending one of the students.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I get it.
Did anyone think the president of Temple University was for that?
Like, did anyone think like the president of Temple University, like, this is
what I mean about everyone has to disavow everybody.
And like, if I was the president of Temple University, they're like, one of
your kids did this.
I go, I don't, I don't even know the people here.
I don't even know the people here.
Who are these kids?
I don't even know.
I'm just here.
I'm doing the administrative shit.
I don't know these people.
How many kids go to Temple?
A couple, a few thousand?
Look it up.
Why do we, what is he?
I get, I get the political reason you have to come out and say it.
All these people.
Because there is real anti-Semitism at some of these schools, you know, like
Colombian stuff.
Everybody's, yeah, what?
Temple has an enrollment of 30,000 students.
Like, if I was the president of Temple University and they're like, hey, you
know the, you know Dave Portnoy's got a bar?
I'd go, what?
Yeah, okay.
Yeah?
Yeah, well, some student went in there with a sign that said, fuck the Jews.
Who?
Mohammed Khan.
I don't know.
I'd go, they're all named Mohammed.
And I'd hang the phone up.
That's what I'd do.
I'd hang the phone up.
I'd go, I'm not.
Well, don't you want to make a statement?
About what?
I don't even know this kid.
I don't know this kid.
I'm not hanging out with this kid.
I'm an adult.
He went to a bar and put up a dumb sign.
Portnoy's offer to send the perpetrators, perpetrators on an educational trip
to Auschwitz
is a more lavishly funded version of a common educational response to incidents
of Jewish
hatred.
Isn't that weird to go on a trip when you've done something like that?
Because it's still a trip.
He's still going to enjoy the trip.
That's still a trip.
Yes, the Auschwitz of it will be sad, but the rest of it is a trip.
Portnoy's just sending this guy on a trip.
Can you imagine that?
He's on a plane.
He's on a phone with somebody.
He's going, yeah, I'm on the way to that.
Dave Portnoy is sending me to Auschwitz.
Can you imagine that sentence?
That guy's got it.
He would say that to someone.
He'd be on the plane.
He's like, listen, I got to go.
We're about to take off.
Yeah, Dave Portnoy is sending me to Auschwitz.
Yeah, the guy from Barstool Sports.
I'm going to Auschwitz, Poland.
Yeah, he's sending me there.
After admitting responsibility and accepting Portnoy's offer to go to Auschwitz.
By the way, I didn't even write a sign.
I'll go to Auschwitz on Dave Portnoy's time because it's an interesting
historical trip.
And I didn't do anything.
If Dave Portnoy wants to send me to any tragedy, I'll go.
What do I have to do to get tickets for Dave Portnoy to send me to a tragedy?
Send me to go.
After admitting responsibility and accepting Portnoy's offer to go to Auschwitz.
According to Portnoy, Khan did a total 180.
In a separate video posted to social media, Khan said he had nothing to do with
the sign or spreading hatred, but was acting as a citizen journalist.
That's a bit of a stretch.
Mo.
And was documenting anti-Jewish animus based on Israel's actions.
That's an odd way to do it.
Wait, what?
Khan said he had nothing to do with the sign or spreading hatred, but was
acting as a citizen journalist.
Wait, what?
In the video, Khan offered his own explanation of the event and its larger
stakes, invoking radicalized violence by likening Portnoy's campaign against
him to a lynching.
Khan said he only admitted responsibility for the sign to Portnoy under duress,
he said, due to an asymmetrical power dynamic.
Okay, this is so gay.
Just admit it.
You did it.
And go to Auschwitz.
Just go to Auschwitz.
You'll have fun.
Not at Auschwitz.
But the trip is you're going to, where?
It's Poland, right?
Yeah.
You can visit other cities in Poland.
I would ask Dave Portnoy that if I was this guy.
I'd go, I will go to Auschwitz.
Can I also visit some other cities in Poland while I'm there?
Polish foods, interesting, pierogies, kielbasa, things like that.
It's a nice trip.
A damp, yes, Auschwitz will put a damper on the trip.
You get some good food.
You think he's going to fly in their economy, probably.
Imagine he's not going to fly in first class.
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Show this guy that crashed into Jennifer Aniston's house.
Everybody's saying it looks like me.
Because it was me.
And the reason I was crashing into her house was to kill her.
I was going to kill her.
That's all.
I was going to kill her.
I wanted to go to Auschwitz with her.
I wanted to pay for Jennifer Aniston to go to Auschwitz with me.
No one would give her that message, so I had to do it.
Let's watch this.
By the way, let's just go through some of my predictions.
Number one, celebrities, Kanye, Bieber, whoever, there's going to be more
public kind of melting down.
Kanye has a new song.
We can't play it.
The beat is fire.
But the words are indelible.
Now, we're going to see a lot more of these celebrities because celebrities now,
again, remember, Hollywood's gone.
It's been gone.
A lot of it.
There's some of it left.
Every show that Hollywood makes now, from, like, that show Hacks to the show
The Studio, every show that they're making is just to prove that it exists.
Hollywood exists.
That's all the premise of Hacks is that, like, this 70-year-old woman gets the
first, she's the first female late-night host and the studios.
But it's, like, the premise of all these shows, they're just making shows now
to prove to you that it's still there.
It exists in whatever capacity.
But a lot of celebrities have been publicly losing their minds, and you watch
it now because they can just pick up a phone.
Celebrities, there's no more, you know, no more layers between a celebrity and
the public.
You know, you can't stop them.
You can't lock up the phone.
Agent, manager, lawyer, publicist, all that stuff.
They just, they just, they wake up and get th