Name: Qatar, Kanye, & The Gift Of Luxury | The Tim Dillon Show #444
Uploaded: 2025-05-17T16:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Qatar, Kanye, & The Gift Of Luxury | The Tim Dillon Show #444' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Qatar, Kanye, & The Gift Of Luxury | The Tim Dillon Show #444' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-17. Transcript available.

Qatar, Kanye, & The Gift Of Luxury | The Tim Dillon Show #444

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show.
Special report right now.
The Free Press just put out an article how Qatar bought America.
And they come to the conclusion, which I vehemently disagree with,
that Qatar is spending money to influence things that are happening in America.
Now, if that were true, there would be signs.
And I think it's irresponsible for the Free Press to come out
and just baselessly claim that Qatari money is flowing, you know, out of the spigot.
And we're all drenching ourselves here in it.
That's completely untrue. I have not been bought.
Does this look like a man who's been bought by Qatar?
Do I seem like someone who's been bought by the Middle East?
I don't think so.
We must really think about, before we start leveling accusations about,
oh, so-and-so is getting a jet or now you have a tiger,
you have to really think about the hurt you cause
when you baselessly attack people and claim
that they were purchased by a foreign country.
It's not the truth.
It's just simply not true.
It's just simply not true.
Yes, Trump is going to accept the jet.
Number one, what kind of piece of shit do you have to be to not accept a gift?
Truly, to be very honest, how do you even go about not accepting a gift?
When it is a plane?
When it is a plane?
Can we get up something about the plane?
Because I think they call it like a mansion in the sky.
Yeah, a $400 million plane.
Now, the Daily Beast is attacking it for being tacky.
The people that read the Daily Beast are elderly hipsters with glaucoma
who wear dirty shoes and hang around Williamsburg, Brooklyn
and have the aesthetic of somebody who lives under a bridge.
These people are attacking a jet from Qatar.
That's everything I've seen about it is that it's fucking beautiful.
And these people, I mean, look at that.
Look at that jet.
That's tacky.
Are you out of your fucking mind?
It's a beautiful palace in the sky.
It's actually understated.
To be honest, it's kind of understated.
I was expecting it to be a little more over the top.
But this is an incredibly beautiful aircraft
that is being given to the President of the United States as a gift,
which he will use, and then eventually it'll go in his presidential library.
That's the plan.
Trump loves luxury.
One of the things you have to understand about Donald Trump is he likes luxury.
He understands luxury.
He understands what an aspirational figure is.
He happens to be one for a lot of people.
He understands the value in having a luxurious, beautiful way to travel,
to live well.
This is the entire thing, is to live well,
to work hard, and to reap the benefits of working hard,
to accept a gift from...
Now, is everyone in Qatar perfect?
I imagine not.
I imagine everyone in Qatar is not perfect.
Yes.
Are there people in Qatar who have, you know,
participated in funding of terrorism,
organizational support for terrorism?
Yes.
Does that mean the plane's not fucking nice?
No.
You gotta separate one thing from the other.
Also, a lot of people in this country,
when they think of the Arab world and planes,
have a negative view.
Because of a couple of things that happened.
Now, if this plane becomes the image,
when we think about Muslims and planes,
or the Arab world and planes,
and we're not thinking about that thing that happened,
and we're thinking about a luxurious palace in the sky
given as a gift to a president,
I think we can all admit that's probably a good change
from the way that we usually...
Because usually,
when you think of that thing that happened,
it's a bummer.
It's a big bummer,
what happened in September.
Many Septembers.
It's actually a bummer.
And, you know,
I think a lot of people are ready to move on from that.
Moving on from that,
the future is forward.
And the past is the past.
So, now people go,
oh, yeah, Arab world, planes,
let me tell you this,
we got a beautiful plane.
And this is what a...
Is this a 747?
Yeah.
It is a 747-8.
It's 13 years old.
12 or 13 years old.
747-8.
Jumbo jet.
747s are being decommissioned,
and nobody's using them
because of the fuel efficiency standards.
They are double-decker planes.
It was listed for sale
several years ago,
$400 million,
has three lounges,
two bedrooms,
nine bathrooms,
five galleys,
a private office,
and enough business class seating
to accommodate dozens of guests.
while Trump
is redoing Air Force One,
because I believe
they're doing a reno
on Air Force One,
like a renovation,
he's accepting this
gift
to use.
Now, of course,
the United States government
is going to have to
retool it
to make sure
that it fits
all the specifications
that Air Force One
needs.
Now,
the officials
are saying
it was a security problem,
these people,
the officials,
are saying
it's a security problem.
How about that rally
in Butler, Pennsylvania?
Was that a security problem?
Where were these
officials then?
Anyway,
the Wall Street Journal
first reported this month
that Trump had
commissioned
defense contractor
L3 Harris
to retrofit
the Qatari plane
in Texas.
It's lavish.
It's a lavish plane.
People
don't want
their president
on Southwest.
They want
the president
of the United States.
Now,
if I were Israel,
I would now
think of a gift.
That's the way
this works,
baby.
If I'm Israel,
I'm Bibi Netanyahu,
I'm thinking
of a gift.
For example,
there's an island
in the French Virgin Islands
that no one's using.
Maybe give that.
I'm just saying,
I'm saying
gift
is important.
If Qatar
is going to give
$400 million,
a beautiful plane,
Israel should say,
hey,
and go over the top.
Go over the top.
Have you ever been
in a family
with siblings?
I have not,
but I hear
that around Christmas
or Mother's Day,
there's a little bit
of a competition
to see
who's going
to give mom
the best present.
so I'm Israel
right now,
I'm thinking
how do we top
a $400 million
Qatari plane?
I don't know,
I don't have the answer.
Supposedly retrofitting
the 13-year-old aircraft
to current Air Force One
requirements
would take years of work
and billions of dollars.
Current and former
U.S. officials say
such a task
would be impossible
to complete
before Trump
leaves office.
Securing a new
modern Air Force One
is such a priority
for the president
that he has on display
in the Oval Office
a model
of one or two
of the planes
Boeing was contracted
to deliver,
finished with his
preferred dark blue
paint trim.
After debuting
the model
during the first term,
Trump displayed it
at Mar-a-Lago
after leaving office
before returning it
to a coffee table
in the White House.
At his
Commander-in-Chief
inaugural bowl
in January,
Trump cut a saber
into the cake
atop which rested
the model plane.
This is part of the fun
of being president.
You get a cool plane.
You get to fly around
in Air Force One.
You know,
we have to stop
being anti-gift.
It's actually petty
to be anti-gift.
To basically say,
oh,
someone's getting a gift
and they shouldn't
accept it.
Well,
if you were getting
a gift,
you would feel
differently about it.
Okay?
People say to me,
they're like,
are you a wash
in Qatari money?
Clearly,
look at me,
the answer is no.
The answer is no.
I'm not anti-gift.
I'm a human being,
okay,
that believes
that other people
can have nice things.
It's not just me.
Other people
can have nice things
even if I'm not
getting it.
Okay?
Well,
they fund Hamas,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Five galleys,
multiple bedrooms.
The Middle East
is moving in the direction
of, you know,
they're moving
in a direction
that's maybe
a positive direction.
Not all of it,
but maybe it's moving
in a positive direction.
They're trying to do things
like the World Cup.
You know?
They did the World Cup.
Now,
obviously,
there's,
you know,
there's a lot of
policies in the Middle East
that are not good,
and there's a lot of people
that harbor
anti-American sentiment.
Okay?
But I think the way
to kind of move
things forward
is with elaborate
giving of gifts.
That feels like
the right way
to do it.
That feel,
I don't think
we should constantly
litigate
the past.
No, no,
I mean this.
This is like a big theme
of mine.
I don't think
we should constantly
keep unearthing
and digging up
every problem
we've ever had
with a group
of people.
Moving forward
seems to be
the best move.
Moving forward
with gifts.
Luxurious,
beautiful
gifts
that can be
appreciated
by everybody.
You know?
Part of the problem
with this P. Diddy thing,
other than the rape,
is that
I bet he didn't
give these people gifts.
I bet P. Diddy
was stingy
and didn't give
a lot of these people
gifts.
And I think
the problem with that
is it builds resentment.
People go,
hey,
I go to these parties,
I let everybody
pee on me,
and I don't get
anything out of it.
There's no gift,
there's no gesture.
I come,
all my holes
get blown out
for three days
and I don't get
anything from it.
There's nothing
from it I get.
Gift giving
makes people
forget
the negative past.
Yes?
Yes or yes.
You know?
I do not agree
with Hamas.
I think they've been
a bad custodian
of Gaza.
I think they've
done terrible things.
Obviously,
they've done horrible,
terrible,
terrible things.
And
I don't agree
with their policies
or their beliefs.
I don't agree
with anything.
But if you said
to me,
what is the one
thing
that you and Hamas
like,
we both like
the Four Seasons
hotel
brand.
Do we
start there?
If we want
to come together,
do we start
there?
If you
and somebody
are not seeing
eye to eye,
you don't get along,
you don't like each
other,
but you both
like the same
band,
you start
there.
Oh,
I hate you.
You hate me.
We like the
Goo Goo Dolls.
Let's start
with that.
Baby's black
balloon makes
her fly.
Start there.
I like the
forces.
So if I
met Hamas,
of course,
I wouldn't
start with
our areas
of disagreement.
I would
say,
I love
the hotel
you love.
And they
would say,
well,
let me tell
you about
that hotel.
We know
a lot
about
it.
And I
would say,
well,
that's
actually
great.
Have
you
been
to
the
four
season
surf
side
in
Miami?
It
looks like
the
capital
of a
Latin
American
city.
It's
absolutely
stunning.
And they
would go,
we've not
been to
that one,
but we
hear it's
actually
very
beautiful.
I
say,
it's
one
of the
top
four
seasons
properties
in the
world.
Get
up the
four
season
surf
side.
Take
a
look
at
that.
It's
a
stunner.
What's
so good
about it
is they
kept the
old
building
where they
have the
restaurant
and the
lobby,
but the
rooms are
all
glass,
so you
can see
the ocean.
And that's
what I
would say
if I
met
Hamas.
I
wouldn't
go into
these,
I don't,
you know,
what's that
rule?
No
politics,
no
religion,
and what
is it,
no baseball?
What's
that saying?
No race?
No,
it's not
no race,
Hitler.
Get the
saying up.
It's
something at
the dinner
table.
It's
no,
you can't
have a
politics or
at the
dinner
table,
there's
something,
no
politics or
no
religion or
no
baseball,
no
talking,
no
talking
anything
controversial.
Yeah,
okay,
maybe it's
just
religion or
politics,
yeah.
No
politics,
no
religion at
the
dinner
table.
So if
I met
people that
I disagree
with,
my first
thing would
be,
can I
find
common
ground?
Donald
Trump
has found
common
ground with
the
Qataris.
They both
really,
really like
money.
They like
luxury.
They like
planes.
They like
hotels.
They like
the good
life.
Now,
maybe
some of
their
religious
fundamentalism
might be
tempered by
the fact that
they want to
move in a
more westernized
direction to
attract people
from all over
the world.
You know,
Dubai,
I talked about
it on the
last episode,
they're spending
a lot of time
and effort trying
to get people
from all over
the world to
live in
Dubai.
And I think
Qatar is going
in a similar
direction.
Trump is
building a
bridge,
a golden
bridge,
to Qatar
through this
plane.
And he's
going to
basically be
able to
influence them,
you know,
and it'll
work both
ways to a
degree.
But I think
closing the
doors is
not the
move.
The move
is to
find that
area of
common
ground,
okay,
that we
can all
agree on.
You know,
and that's
that it
is nice
to have
nice
things.
And if
we forget
that,
and if
we don't
internalize
that truth,
we all