Name: Gaza Famine, Brigitte's Hog, & The Happiness Survey | The Tim Dillon Show #455
Uploaded: 2025-07-26T16:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Gaza Famine, Brigitte's Hog, & The Happiness Survey | The Tim Dillon Show #455' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Gaza Famine, Brigitte's Hog, & The Happiness Survey | The Tim Dillon Show #455' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-26. Transcript available.

Gaza Famine, Brigitte's Hog, & The Happiness Survey | The Tim Dillon Show #455

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show.
Earlier this week, 30-year-old teenagers and elk boys
received a massive amount of backlash
for their interview with Benjamin Netanyahu.
And although Netanyahu is widely reviled,
he does maintain some support with people across the world,
and even a few people in Gaza.
So here to comment is Nassab from Gaza,
who is a big supporter of Netanyahu.
Yes, thank you for having me.
Thank you for coming on, Nassab.
So now, tell us your story.
What's happening in Gaza, and why do you support Benjamin Netanyahu?
Yes, Tim, so you know, like many people in Gaza,
I have every reason to hate Israel.
Shortly after October 7th, my family was sheltering under a donkey,
and Hamas decided to dig a tunnel under the donkey.
And use the donkey as a human shield,
taking out not only my family, but my head and arms and torso.
And I put that blame on these barbarians that make up Hamas.
Because Israel is very good and merciful.
And right before they bomb our donkey, they send out a text,
and they say, we are going to bomb your donkey in 20 seconds.
But unfortunately, I forgot to charge my phone.
Well, I mean, that's, Nassab, I'm sorry to hear that.
But what about now?
There are reports from over 100 human rights organizations
that Israel is orchestrating a famine in the Gaza Strip.
Tim, that is simply also not true.
Israel send all kinds of wonderful Israeli cuisine to Gaza.
Pita bread, hummus, falafel, and baba ganoush.
And Hamas is stealing the food.
Do you know what is true about Hamas?
All of their wives and girlfriends are obese.
They are chubby chasers.
They are-
Hold on.
Now, I have a little trouble.
This is-
I have a little trouble believing that.
What about the baby food?
Are they stealing the baby food?
Yes, Tim, this is what is sick about these monsters in Hamas.
They pretend that they are babies.
So under the tunnels, they steal the baby food and the baby formula,
and they dress up like babies,
and they drink formula from bottles,
and they wear a diaper,
and they make their plus-size women change their diaper.
These are very sick people.
And when they have to just ask for food,
they say, we do not know.
What are you talking about?
We are just little babies.
You will have to ask my parents.
Well, I had-
Nassab, I had no idea that this was happening,
that Hamas were pretending to be babies
and stealing the food.
It's actually amazing.
Are there a lot of Palestinians who agree with you?
Well, Tim, you also probably do not know this,
but Palestinian is not real people.
Did you know Yasser Arafat, he was from Egypt?
That's why when you think about it,
it's okay to kill us and even put us in an oven.
And you might not know this,
but many Arabs, they actually enjoy being killed.
The Koran says they will go to heaven,
so that is why they love being shot and droned and burned and crushed by rubble.
I just don't, I can't,
no, I can't co-sign that.
I can't really agree with that.
That sounds really, really insane.
It sounds like Israeli propaganda.
It seems crazy.
And what about the anti-Semitism on the college campuses and in New York City?
You are about to elect a terrorist for your mayor.
Yes, but it just feels, it's so surprising to me that you feel this way because
you're a leg.
You're just a leg.
I mean, they've taken everything from you.
I mean, you're just a leg, but you're still supportive of this.
I guess I just really like the techno music and everything that come out of
that beautiful country.
All right.
Noab, everyone.
That's from Gaza.
He supports Netanyahu.
I want to talk about a few things.
Netanyahu on the Nelk podcast, brave of him.
Brave to sit down like that.
Truly brave.
And to express opinions like that, take a look here.
Netanyahu on the Nelk podcast.
By the way, saying something I said on Are You Garbage months ago, but whatever.
Netanyahu.
What's your go-to at McDonald's?
No, I'll tell you Burger King.
We did the, you know, the double, you know.
Whopper?
Yeah, the double.
I haven't ripped Burger King in a long time.
It's not.
Burger King kind of sucks.
Yeah.
No, you're wrong.
The BK Lounge can hit.
I disagree completely.
You like Burger King over McDonald's?
That's your worst take, I think.
Absolutely.
That's a crazy take.
No, that was fine.
I mean, I like Burger King.
The answer is yes.
Here's the thing about it's tough.
Obviously, I am a human and want to live.
But our civilization does really deserve to be destroyed.
Like, that is the hard, that is the really tough thing about it all, is that if
there
was ever a civilization that deserved a cataclysmic, and again, not rooting for
it, don't want
it to happen.
Don't want it to happen.
But just statistically, I mean, could there be a better example?
I mean, we just do, I mean, this guy is committing a genocide, truly.
I mean, I don't think anyone's even, I don't think anyone's even denying that
at this point.
People are like quibbling about certain components of it.
Like, I know that, like, people are like, well, yes, they're starving Gaza, but
did you see
that video of that guy from Hamas stealing a banana?
Did you see that?
There's a guy from Hamas eating a banana, and people are like, well, he stole
the banana
from the people.
And they're like, Hamas is stealing the food.
In this whole thing, Israel has no culpability, by the way, at all.
They've actually done nothing wrong.
It's all been Hamas.
Hamas has done everything.
There's not been what, they stole the food, they're shooting the people who
were in line
for the food.
Israel's doing nothing.
And you have to trust Israel, because otherwise, the only people that are
reporting out of Gaza,
they're not letting journalists in, or they just say are Hamas.
So if you report anything contrary to what Israel says, you are Hamas, or you
become Hamas.
So, I mean, I just, you know, I mean, the starvation, the photos of the
starving, number one,
we're the fattest country in the world.
For the fattest country in the world to fund the starvation of a group of
people is insane.
Look at this.
Here we go.
This is the thing they keep showing is that Hamas has bananas.
All right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they got bananas.
This is the, when I ask why we're funding, why we're starving people, we're
funding a famine.
People say to me, well, maybe take a look at that video of the guy in Hamas
with the grapes.
The guy in Hamas with the grapes.
And you go, we're the fattest country in the world.
Okay.
Nobody is fatter than us.
We are now funding the starvation of a group of people halfway across the world,
or all the way across the world.
I'm bad with geography, but far away.
And if you bring it up, or if you chat about it, or if you talk about it, you're
immediately called anti-Semitic or whatever.
And it's completely absurd and insane.
And this is nuts.
Get up Randy Fine.
Get a photo of Randy Fine.
Now, this is the guy who literally said, starve away.
He said something like, release the hostages, which again, the children of Gaza
did not abduct the hostages and cannot release them.
Randy Fine.
Genius.
Randy Fine.
No, get a fat picture, my producer.
Don't get a picture when he was thin.
You're going to treat Randy Fine like that?
Go get a photo of me when I was eight.
Then, by the way.
Get Randy Fine.
Look how fat Randy Fine is.
Randy Fine literally said, starve away.
This guy is out there telling the Gazans to starve while looking like he's,
like, full of fucking marshmallow fluff.
It's the cruelest thing to just have a fatty boom baddie telling the beat.
Get that quote up where he says, starve away.
There's a quote where Randy Fine, who is a congressman from Florida, who has a
lot of the rhetoric of, like, the Smote Rich and Ben Gavir and these crazy far-right
Likud psychopaths in the Israeli government calling these kids in Gaza Amalek
and the children of the devil or whatever.
Randy Fine has basically, I believe, said, if you look up, starve away.
That's what he wrote.
Those were the quotes.
He said, tell your fellow Muslim terrorists to release the hostages and
surrender.
Until then, hashtag starve away.
Randy Fine.
I mean, there he is.
It's crazy that we are providing the material support to Israel to continually
engage in this kind of barbarism.
We have to cut all funding.
We should.
We should absolutely cut all funding to Israel immediately.
Cut all funding.
A hundred percent.
I don't know why that's even controversial at this point.
This is going to be, this is like the worst humanitarian crisis we have, we see
it witnessing unfolding.
It's crazy.
For the fattest country in the world to be involved in, in, in this starvation
of people is insane.
It's nuts.
And there are people defending this with getting DoorDash.
They're, they're getting full meals.
They will develop, they will deliver a seafood tower to you on DoorDash broken
up in ice.
Don't, I'm not going to tell you how I know, but in, in ice, they will deliver
shellfish on ice to you.
DoorDash will deliver that.
And you get it at your front door.
You get a lobster at your front door and eat it and then defend how children in
Gaza are.
And I mean, you can see these photos.
I don't want to show them on the show, but they're so disturbing.
And it's like, it's crazy.
Even some of the way the magazines are reporting it.
Like one of them was like, well, they're not dead.
They're like half alive, half dead.
And they're wandering around like ghosts.
Like I was like, what is this?
I mean, it's incredibly, it's incredibly disturbing to watch.
What will the next phase be?
I mean, I don't understand.
Like, what will Israel do next to them?
Like, will it start to melt them?
Like, will it use some type of like device to start melting the people of Gaza?
And then will people start defending that?
Oh, well, these are at least hostages.
Until then, hashtag melt away.
And you go, wait a minute.
Hold on.
But you're melting people.
Yeah, well.
So what?
October 7th.
Yeah, yeah.
But they're children.
They're women.
They're not.
They didn't do that.
Melt away.
So what?
They're going to melt.
I mean, what Stephen King horror movie penalty will be enough at this point?
We have now crossed the line.
Like, I said Final Destination a couple of weeks ago.
We're like even, we're past that.
Those deaths were quick.
We're like fully into like some crazy long thing.
It's, it's completely barbaric.
And we should just, we should just stop the money.
Take all that money that we're funding Israel with and give it to Candace Owens
so she can
fight her lawsuit against Brigitte Macron and Emmanuel Macron.
And here's what I'm saying.
Show the puss.
Show the puss.
Show the clit.
And I'm not trying to be a problem.
And you know I never am.
Show the puss.
Show the clit.
I'm not saying she was born a man.
I don't know.
There's a very easy way to put this to bed.
Number one, have Brigitte Macron go on the Nelk podcast and have her show the
clit to, what are their names?
Kyle and Stiney.
Have her show the clit.
Take the pussy out on the Nelk podcast.
Brigitte Macron, put your bush in Kyle from Nelk's face.
And let's get justice.
How about justice?
Even people starving in Gaza want to know this.
Even the starving children in Gaza want to see, where is the clit?
Let's play a little bit of Candace.
You're responding to this lawsuit from Brigitte and Emmanuel Macron.
You were born a man and you will die a man.
That's the point I'm making.
So give us a sample.
By the way, I wish my father said that to me at like any point in my life.
I wish I had that kind of support in my own household.
You were born a man.
You're a goddamn man.
What?
We have Candace Owens here.
She's being sued by Brigitte Macron, who's the first lady of France.
And Candace has said, Brigitte was born a gentleman.
And now I have challenged Brigitte to go on the Nelk Boys podcast and show her
clit.
And let's do this thing.
End the war in Gaza.
Show your bush.
Show your clit to the Nelk Boys.
You're the first lady of France.
If you're afraid to show your pussy 