Name: A Police State, Candace’s Lawsuit, & The La Quinta Promise | The Tim Dillon Show #458
Uploaded: 2025-08-16T16:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Police State, Candace’s Lawsuit, & The La Quinta Promise | The Tim Dillon Show #458' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Police State, Candace’s Lawsuit, & The La Quinta Promise | The Tim Dillon Show #458' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-16. Transcript available.

A Police State, Candace’s Lawsuit, & The La Quinta Promise | The Tim Dillon Show #458

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon episode, the podcast.
I'm going on not too many hours of sleep.
I had a lot of fun with Tony Hinchcliffe and Joe DeRosa last night in Manhattan
at the Stand Comedy Club and Restaurant.
Free ad for those dirtbags whom I love, who own that club.
And we had a great time.
Best comedy club food in the world, by the way.
If you haven't been to the Stand Comedy Club and Restaurant,
owned by two criminals who are endeared to me,
go, because it is excellent.
The food is excellent.
It is.
And the comedy is happening.
Food is excellent, and the comedy is provably going on.
It's there.
It is happening.
And some of it is quite good.
Some of it is quite excellent.
Truly.
And we had fun with DeRosa and Hinchcliffe just talking shit.
Having fun.
Had a couple of cigarettes, which I no longer do, but the throat.
And tomorrow opening for Louis at Forest Hills Stadium.
Louis was very nice to ask me to open for him on his tour.
He's on a crazy tour all over the world with P. Diddy.
And they are touring, and he asked me to open it up.
And I will.
And I am.
So how about that?
So it's a lot of fun.
Turning our attention to Gaza.
No, I'm kidding.
Every week, you know, with this.
Every week.
I mean, it really is.
I mean, the situation is worsening, and I don't want to talk about it every
week, but then I feel bad if I don't talk about it.
But who really cares?
I mean, I do a show in front of an inflatable cactus.
I mean, not now I have the summer backdrop.
But you know what I mean?
Like, what are we doing here?
But also, you got to say something about it because it's not good.
But I've been saying things about it for a while.
And it doesn't need to be that game.
We don't need to play that game of who was first.
But I have been saying things about it for a while.
Many people in the entertainment industry, the industry that I am in, are now
saying things about it, like, today.
And I'm not saying I was, I was kind of like, I wasn't, I, right after October
7th, was like, take a minute, obviously respond, you know.
I wasn't one of those people either.
I wasn't, like, on October 8th going crazy in the quad of Columbia campus with,
like, a burka on, screaming and yelling.
I wasn't doing any of that.
I am a rational adult who just kind of, like, you know, you wake up, you have
an oatmeal, you know, or whatever.
And then you kind of go about your day.
But there's a lot of, you know, killing on the social media now.
Sorry, there is.
And I don't like that.
So, I say, no, cut it out.
And people say to me, well, you don't understand.
And I don't.
And I actually don't.
So, that's the statement.
We got, we got to go back to this country fighting about, like, the Minnesota
Vikings hired a dude to be a cheerleader.
Every fight in America now is existential.
It's not about dumb crap.
We always used a fight about dumb shit that didn't really matter.
Like, that fat bitch is trying to get gay marriage overturned.
Kim Davis, that court clerk they tried to make certify a whatever.
Look at this twink jumping around with Minnesota.
Now, by the way, you think this is the biggest problem Minnesota has?
Don't they have, like, lots of problems?
But anyway, this is the stuff as a country we were, like, designed to fight
about.
We're really good at that.
But now we're fighting about, like, is the election valid?
Is the CIA in a war with the president?
Is the president federalizing the police?
Like, are the states going to declare war against the federal government by not
letting ICE do whatever?
I'm just saying there's, the problems now are not fun.
They used to be kind of fun.
No.
I mean, really.
Obviously not for everyone, but we've gotten to a point now where everything we
fight about
and everything we're having an argument about is of the utmost importance.
And, like, when everything's at an 11, nothing is.
Really.
So it's like everybody's so tired of everything that we need this.
We need the Minnesota Vikings to do something like this because we need to go
back to arguing
about something that we can't even wrap our heads around.
We can't even wrap our head around half of this.
Like, Gabbard's out there, Tulsi Gabbard's out there with Russiagate.
And that's a real thing, to be sure.
But it's hard to wrap your head around that as a person that isn't, like,
familiar with, like, whatever.
Layers of the layers of power.
I mean, what?
I mean, we do this every week, you know?
I mean, but at least with this, at least with this, people immediately go,
oh, it's a guy doing something a girl did, and we don't like it.
We're mad about it.
Thank God.
Thank God we have this.
And more things like it.
Please.
More things like it.
More, like, food items that we don't like, or they're very contentious.
People getting angry about, like, a food item.
Like, I remember years ago, Burger King did a bacon sundae, and people were
like,
this is over the line, you know?
Things like that that make, you know, cultural conversations and moments.
Yeah, remember the bacon sundae at Burger King?
People are like, God damn it.
Every now and then, a fast food restaurant puts out something so grotesque.
The KFC double down.
There's a history of these.
There are a history of moments where fast food companies push.
Push it over the line.
And it makes us all think about what's going on in our lives and what we've
allowed to happen.
You know?
I'm not saying Russiagate's not worthy of looking into.
I'm just saying, for the regular person out there, it is easier to see the
problem in a bacon sundae than it is Russiagate.
They don't understand.
They don't know who John Brennan is or Clapper or Hayden.
Yes, maybe they could all start reading books, and they don't know about the Dulles
brothers.
But they know that bacon on a sundae isn't good, unless it's like a very weird
thing at a fancy restaurant.
Everyone takes one bite of it and goes, ooh.
But you shouldn't get it through a drive-thru.
There's been a long history of these things, the Double Down, the Burger King
bacon sundae.
Egregious thing.
So I would like if a fast food restaurant were to do something egregious so
that we could start fighting about that.
Arguing about that, something really like, you know, it's the falls coming up.
So maybe something, maybe like, maybe it's a burger, and the bun is on a cider
donut, or something like an apple cider donut.
Or it's a whole pumpkin sundae, where the whole entire pumpkin is filled with
ice cream and candy for Halloween.
Something that is so heinous that most people say, wait, stop it now.
Stop it now, you're trying to kill us.
You know?
It was good that the Minnesota Vikings hired a male.
They should go, they should do all fat cheerleaders.
You know, that nun that was on Tucker, that woman, put her as a cheerleader.
Get the photo of that lovely nun up.
Put her as a cheerleader.
Get people talking, is what I'm trying to say here.
By the way, these frogs over in France are mentioning me in the Candace Owens
lawsuit.
What did I do?
Is it my fault your wife has a dong?
Who cares?
What does Patrick Bet-David, what did he say to Anthony Weiner?
He's like, you trying to get, I'll show you your ding-a-ling.
So what, Brigitte McCone, she may be, may be allegedly as a ding-a-ling.
So what?
I mentioned in the lawsuit, on April 26, Owens appeared on the Tim Dillon show.
And then they do my whole, he's a comedian, podcaster, actor.
They have a better bio for me in the Candace Owens lawsuit than my agent does,
by the way.
The bio in the Candace Owens lawsuit is actually better than anything CAA has
done for me.
Tim Dillon started the show by telling Owens he was asked about the series
while checking into a hotel and said it has blown up.
Owens replied, oh, everywhere.
I mean, it's the most international thing I've ever done.
So the McCrones are suing Candace and her appearance on my show is in the
lawsuit.
I mean, it's just a moment of pride.
If you've been a fan of this show for a while, and a lot of you have, I meet
people all the time that have been, you know, listening since 2016 or the
beginning.
A lot of people are new, but to think about this, to be named in a lawsuit is a
mark of pride.
The president of France's wife is suing Candace Owens, who said she was a man,
and I'm mentioned in that lawsuit.
And that's actually, because you start this business, you don't know where it's
going to go.
I don't, I didn't know where it was going to go when I started it.
And that's what I'll tell people out there that are young and are walking down
an uncertain path to this moment in their life where they realize it's all
actually been worth it.
There's a lot of people that are going, am I on the right path?
Are the sacrifices worth it?
And the answer is yes, because I'm sitting before you today named in a lawsuit.
The president of France's wife may or may not have a cock.
We're all going to court to figure this out.
We're going to court to figure out whether the president of France's wife has a
cock.
We don't know.
We don't know.
No one knows.
And I'm mentioned in that lawsuit because I helped further the conversation.
And that, to me, is something special.
Is it a big movie?
Who can't?
No.
But what?
What?
No.
Who's doing that?
What we're doing is advancing an important conversation on this earth.
Does the president of France's wife have a cock or not?
That's what people are thinking about as their kids are laying in a hospital
bed.
They're not thinking about how much the bills cost.
They're going, does she have a cock and what's it like?
I mean, I'm just saying it's a proud moment as an American.
Dylan discussed MKUltra and similar programs.
By the way, this is in a lawsuit.
It's truly amazing.
Like, I read through it.
I read the pages where I was mentioned.
And it is amazing that this, just take a minute, just zoom out for a minute.
Okay?
Because, by the way, and even though I was being facetious about movies,
weapons is amazing
and Naked Gun is great.
I saw Naked Gun and that's great.
So, I am not as black-pilled on movies as I was.
I do believe, and I'm working on stuff, and other people I know are working on
stuff, very talented people.
I think there's a, there's more to this than just, hey, there's people on the
internet all the time, which is great.
But there's also the ability to execute and do things well on other platforms.
And I'm not giving up on movies.
I don't think anyone should.
I don't think anyone should, contrary to what I may have said last week.
I'm not always right.
Well, when we look at how big podcasting has gotten, weirdly, I don't know why
this one did it for me.
The election and the dumb interviews on CNN, none of it mattered.
My friends are in arenas and stuff.
That didn't matter.
It was this lawsuit.
I just thought it was very funny.
I just started laughing.
I said, isn't that funny that the president of France and his wife are
mentioning my show in a court case about whether his wife has a cock.
And that, to me, is making it.
That's what it is.
That's what it feels like, and it feels good.
I'm in this thing.
I'm in this thing, and we're riding until the wheels come off here.
I'm in deep now in this thing of whether or not this man's wife has a cock.
They brought me into it.
They brought me into it.
You start a podcast because you think you're going to have a travelogue on
Comedy Central.
That's what I thought.
I was going to get paid to travel around the world and eat things.
and then make jokes about them on television because that's what every comedian
wanted.
Between the years of 2010, I'll give you a little comedy history that no one
cares about.
Between the era of 2010 and 2015, most comedians were pursuing a travelogue.
Everybody had been living in hellish apartments in Brooklyn or in Los Angeles.
And everybody, their dream was to travel around the country because Dave Attell
had one called Insomniac.
And Bourdain, who wasn't a comedian, obviously had the most famous one called
Parts Unknown.
And we 