Name: Cancelling Kimmel, Fired From Riyadh, & The Prison Housing Market | The Tim Dillon Show #462
Uploaded: 2025-09-20T16:45:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Cancelling Kimmel, Fired From Riyadh, & The Prison Housing Market | The Tim Dillon Show #462' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Cancelling Kimmel, Fired From Riyadh, & The Prison Housing Market | The Tim Dillon Show #462' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-20. Transcript available.

Cancelling Kimmel, Fired From Riyadh, & The Prison Housing Market | The Tim Dillon Show #462

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show.
Let's address it out of the gate.
Let's talk about the biggest free speech issue right now in the world.
Let's tackle it head on.
Everyone is talking about it.
Everyone wants to know what it means.
I was fired from the Riyadh Comedy Festival.
It is the most important free speech news.
Everybody has a take.
Everyone has an opinion.
It's inescapable.
Go to a lunch.
It comes up.
You're at a christening.
You think you're safe.
You're not.
Did you hear comedian, podcaster, Tim Dillon fired from Saudi Arabia's first
comedy festival?
Shocking developments.
What does it mean?
What does it mean?
I'll tell you how it went down.
And then we'll address that thing at ABC with Kimmel.
I also heard that there's an issue there, but my agent called me and told me,
first of all, I'll lay out the whole thing.
I was supposed to perform in Dubai.
I mixed up Dubai and I said Abu Dhabi.
Apparently, this is a big deal over there.
This is like a real problem.
My agent called me and he goes, you said on Joe Rogan that you were performing
in Abu Dhabi and you're actually performing in Dubai.
They're cities and they have a rivalry.
And I go, dude, who gives a fuck?
What do I stop?
I made a mistake.
This is not a malicious slander.
It's a mistake.
He goes, well, they're very angry and they sent an email that you need to be
controlled.
I said, well, good luck.
Whatever.
I don't have to do it.
I don't care.
And then he called me a few days later and I thought he was going to talk about
the Kimmel thing.
I thought he was going to talk about the Kimmel thing.
But he called me and he said, they heard what you said about them having slaves.
And I said, I was being positive about it.
I was defending them.
He goes, well, I know that.
I know you were defending them.
I said, I was defending them for having slaves.
I literally said, slaves are probably hard workers and for the most part, agreeable.
But they didn't like that.
You can literally support somebody too much.
I've learned this.
You could actually, by the way, in life, this happens.
Too many compliments.
Too much.
Too much support.
And then they turn on you.
I was saying that slaves were proud of some of the buildings they built.
That's what I was saying.
I was saying that if I was a slave, not that I want to be, if I was a slave,
and I built a really nice thing, I might say to my slave children, daddy built
that.
That's what I was saying.
That I would have said, hey, daddy built that.
When my slave children said, ooh, look at that.
I'd say, you know, daddy built that.
I was going that angle.
Apparently, this got to the people in Saudi Arabia, and they were unhappy about
it.
They're huge fans of comedy over there.
Now, I am very clear about the way I will do a gig.
If I accept a gig, I am not going to break the rules of the gig.
Meaning, Amish people call me.
They go, Tim, we're going to pay you a lot of money.
We want you to perform in the Amish, Pennsylvania, Dutch country.
But we're Amish, so we don't want to hear about iPhones or Calci, which they
should hear about.
It's phenomenal, this Calci.
We'll get to it later.
But if that was a rule, I would respect it while I'm there, while I'm in
Pennsylvania, Dutch country, eating shoofly pie, respecting their culture.
You have a culture.
You've got Sharia law.
Would I like Sharia law?
No, I don't want it.
Actually, I don't want it.
I'm good.
But you have it.
So, it's not like I have bits in my act about the prophet anyway.
So, I certainly wasn't going to show up in your country and insult the people
that are paying me the money.
One, it's illegal.
So, I wasn't really planning to go to a Saudi jail.
But on my own show, in my own country, where I have the freedom to speak and
say the things I want, I'm going to be funny and I'm going to be who I am.
And if you're not buying that, you don't have the right to tell me on my own
show.
People were coming up to me saying, why would you go to that country?
They have slaves.
In Tribeca, they're assaulting me, these people.
I'm just leaving a lunch and they're coming out.
They have slaves, they say.
And of course, I addressed it in a funny way and they fired me.
And then they told me, they go, my agent, they all call me, you don't have to
talk about this, they say.
Don't talk about it.
Remember when you talked about choker, I said, what?
They go, it hurts you to talk about these things.
In what?
What is, in what is even left, you bums?
This, the only thing left is what I'm doing.
Nobody, what?
What are you talking about?
So, and what I mean by that is, like, there's, the business doesn't have any
teeth anymore.
They can't tell me what to do or say.
They're not even offering anything.
They're not even offering anything.
We don't want people thinking you're a problem.
But they already, how do they not think that?
How could they not think that?
How, a Google, a Google of me and a read, a 60 second scroll.
You buy me, you buy what I'm going to do.
Joker was a bad movie.
Why would I lie and say it's good?
Everyone thought it was bad in the world.
Okay?
Every article that came out was like, hey, this thing sucks.
What was I supposed to do?
By the way, I was in it for a second and I made no money.
What loyalty am I supposed to have?
And the director was mean to me.
So I'm supposed to go out there and talk about how great it is?
Well, you're actually just misunderstanding the movie.
It's actually really good.
The Joker doing dance numbers is good.
It's good that it doesn't have a plot.
It's actually good.
It doesn't work.
Who the fuck wants to watch that?
You know?
So, you know, they were like, well, you don't have to tell people that you're
not going because, you know, we don't want people thinking you're that person
that gets fired.
Yeah, whatever, think it.
What do I give a fuck?
I mean, what?
Who cares?
I'm going to get fired again.
I'm going to get fired again from people that are not even Saudis.
I'm going to get fired by people who don't chop hands off.
I'm going to get fired by reasonable people.
I'm going to get fired by people that don't practice Sharia law.
I will be fired by many races and religions.
I'm going to be fired by others.
I will.
This is the most controversial the people who fire me will ever be.
Let me relish in this.
Let, let, let's take this win.
The future people that fire me will be good.
Mothers and fathers, family people who probably fire me for a completely
rational reason.
You know?
I, you know, I just rolled out of bed and I just decided to do something they
didn't like.
And that's completely fine.
It is what it is.
This is the first time I've been fired by people that actually do really bad
things.
So let's take this win.
Let's take this win.
I'm now with Iran.
Iran's against them.
I'm with Iran now.
You've pushed me into the bosom of Iran.
Do you understand that?
I'm going to Tehran to do their comedy festival.
I don't care.
I'm being pushed into the arms of Iran.
Those types of Muslims.
What are those ones called?
Shia.
I'm Shia now.
I was going to be Sunni.
I think Saudi is Sunni and Iran is Shia.
Right?
Yes?
Maybe?
I'm Shia now.
Shiite?
Right?
Shia.
That's what I am now because you've done this to me.
You fired me and created a Shia problem.
I'm a Shiite problem now, biatch.
So, who cares?
By the way, I get to keep, my agent knows this.
He knows often if you represent me, you're going to get calls that people are
unhappy.
He just thought it would be like the usual suspects, the people around this
town, this dispiriting dump called Los Angeles.
He thought it was going to be those people at the, you know, whatever, the Riviera
Country Club calling me going, we don't really, this guy's like, what is he
doing?
Why did he have Candace Owens, why does he open his mouth?
What's wrong with him?
Why is he dressed up like a Muslim, then a Jew?
What's going on?
I don't get it.
That's the normal calls.
He didn't think he was going to get a call from the Middle East.
He didn't think I was going to get fired by a theocracy in the Middle East.
Neither did I, but I'm with Iran now.
That's what happens.
This is geopolitics.
Do you understand?
This is why the Middle East is so effed up, because there's no fucking unity.
There's no goddamn unity.
That's all.
So I will be with Iran.
I don't know what to tell everyone.
Now let's talk about Jimmy Kimmel, which, by the way, I think is much less
interesting than what happened to me.
But, as usual, it's dominated the headlines.
Jimmy Kimmel, I don't know Jimmy.
I've never met Jimmy.
I don't watch his show.
My friends know him and really, really like him.
As a guy, he's like less annoying in real life than he is on television.
This is what I hear from people whom I trust.
I think Jimmy was a funny guy.
I don't watch what he does now.
It's very political.
It's very, like, kind of annoying to most people.
Even to people that are in the middle, it's annoying.
To people that are apolitical, it's annoying.
It's way over the top.
Colbert, him, everybody went way over the top.
Doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter.
He should still be on the air, and I'll get to why.
But setting the stage here, they all went way over the top.
Johnny Carson said, years ago, I'm not political.
I'm here to put Americans to bed.
These guys went fully the other way.
They alienated half the country.
It's their right, by the way.
It's their right.
Is it a great business move?
Probably not.
Probably not.
You know, if you opened the pizzeria, you wouldn't call it, like, you know,
fuck Trump pizza, unless it was, like, in Portland or something.
You know, if you're trying to appeal to a demographic of people that is of many
political stripes, but they're not.
They've given up on that.
That's fine.
That's their right.
It's their right to politicize their show to a point where it's unwatchable.
And by the way, that's anyone's right.
Okay?
I'm going to play the joke he made.
It's a weird joke, and it's a not factually correct thing.
But here's why I'm going to not only defend it, but I think it is ridiculous
to pull this guy off the air.
I think it's ridiculous to pretend it was about money.
I think it's ridiculous to pretend that it's not a political hit shop.
It's a political hit shop, and we know it.
Was ABC, is it the cash cow it was, 10, 20 years?
Absolutely not.
We know late-night TV is dying.
We know all of that.
That's not why this show got yanked.
And pretending it is is an insult to people's intelligence.
Okay?
It's an insult to people's intelligence.
This was a hit.
Politically motivated hit job.
Okay?
It's something that most people who talk for a living should care about if you
talk for
a living.
If you're making money, entertaining people, informing people,
whatever it is you think you're doing out there, anybody who's doing that
should care a little
bit about this.
Let's watch his joke, and then let's talk about the fallout.
We hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to
characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of
them and doing everything they can to score political points from it.
In between the finger pointing, there was a grieving on Friday, the White House
flew the flags at half-staff, which got some criticism.
But on a human level, you can see how hard the president is taking this.
My condolences on the loss of your friend Charlie Kirk.
May I ask, sir, personally, how are you holding up over the last day and a half,
sir?
I think very good.
And by the way, right there, you see all the trucks?
They just started construction of the new ballroom for the White House, which
is something they've
been trying to get, as you know, for about 150 years, and it's going to be a
beauty.
Yes.
He's at the fourth stage of grief, construction.
Demolition.
Construction.
So, so here's the thing.
Not a bad, you know, it's a fun joke.
The setup to the joke where it's like they're doing everything they can to
pretend this guy's not a MAGA 