Name: Lame Duck Donald & The Immigration Nation | The Tim Dillon Show #470
Uploaded: 2025-11-15T17:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Lame Duck Donald & The Immigration Nation | The Tim Dillon Show #470' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Lame Duck Donald & The Immigration Nation | The Tim Dillon Show #470' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-15. Transcript available.

Lame Duck Donald & The Immigration Nation | The Tim Dillon Show #470

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the tim dillon show from our uh um temporary
studio here for
one week here in miami at the move uh whatever it is what's it called move the
move miami the
move miami so if you are a creator in miami god only knows what that means if
you are a creator
here in miami um and you want to come use your studio this is a great studio if
you are an only
fans chick who wants to start a podcast because people really enjoy your
personality or if you're
a struggling rapper and you want to start building your brand or you know
whatever the case may be
come on down here to the move and get get yourself on camera because people are
waiting to hear from
you that's the whole thing that don't you realize that that people are you you
you need to be heard
that's what's happening what is where's miami at that's what we're all thinking
where are they at
um i've been thinking a lot recently about the mom donnie win in new york city
because like
all of the all of the people that i talked to in florida are like everybody's
coming to florida
and i don't know if that's true it's i don't think it is i talked to realtors
in new york contracts are
up in new york city they're going crazy in the hamptons meaning people are
still buying real estate
in new york this idea that like everybody's come gonna come down to a phone
party with marco rubio
and plot the venezuela invasion while railing lines of coke off someone's cock
which though it sounds nice
isn't the best foreign policy the idea that people are going to just do that
because we elected bin
lot in new york doesn't necessarily ring true i think there's going to be you
have to get people are
going to get they have to get a little wet on the subway first got to be a
couple of stabbings couple
of shootings a little couple of stickings you're not just going to pick up and
head down to miami unless
someone you know gets slashed people used to get slashed all the time in new york
if slashing comes back the
thing about a good slashing is you wear the scar so it comes up it's not like
just a mugging or
something that you can forget or you lost money on bitcoin or whatever this is
like an actual scar
you show up to a place and people it people are horrified by the gash in your
face if that starts
happening on the subway again you could you could see a world in which people
come down here to miami
to hang out with marco rubio and the people that want to uh invade venezuela
whatever venezuelan
expats he met down here uh in miami that think we need to be there in venezuela
invading venezuela
which is of course insane but i was thinking about it the new york affordability
and i was thinking
about why it is so expensive to live in new york it's always been expensive but
why it's gotten so absurd
why has it become so ridiculous and i think part of it and if i was somebody
who is the mayor of new york
city and get the average condo price up right now in new york get the average
one bedroom rent
and get the average condo price the average price to buy in new york city all
of new york city not just
manhattan we're talking about the five boroughs of new york city we got to do
new york um we don't
want manhattan we want the average condo price in new york city that's five boroughs
it's not just
manhattan and that's going to i don't know what that number is i know in manhattan
it's around two
million dollars you know 2.6 million or something silly you don't have to live
in manhattan okay um
i don't know that they have i don't know that they have that number do they not
have that number
they keep showing us manhattan but i'm wondering if there's an average one what
about average one
bedroom rent in new york city we know that the median condo price in manhattan
is about a million
dollars that's the middle of the market and the average condo price is oh is
about two and a half
so the average rent for one bedroom apartment in new york city is around forty
four hundred and fifty
dollars a month four thousand four hundred and fifty dollars a month okay that
is psychotic now it varies
a little bit some people are saying it's closer to 35 and some people are
saying 42
neighborhood apartment size amenities can can cause these average averages to
fluctuate but
that's what you're paying for a one bedroom apartment in new york city now that
it's not a large apartment
you know in most cases it is a uh entry level one bedroom apartment you cannot
have a guest you cannot
have friends over for dinner you really can't raise a child in a one bedroom
apartment i know some people
are going to say well i have all right frank okay it can be done anything can
be done you can raise
people in a hut um but this is an incredibly expensive uh one bedroom apartment
now i want you
to get up this i want you to find the statistic for how much real estate in new
york is owned by foreign
nationals i want you to look at that by percentage i want you to look at it by
percentage i wonder if they're
going to have that how much real estate in new york city is owned by foreign
nationals meaning people
that do not live in america
okay so here's our ai overview okay it says
um
um while it's difficult to pinpoint an exact percentage recent estimates
suggest foreign nationals
own a small fraction of new york's real estate with foreign buyers accounting
for about seven percent
of all residential purchases in the state and about 27 of all real estate
values so number one that's not
small 30 is absolutely not small the percentage of value that they own
and i believe it's much higher than seven percent because i don't think this is
taking into account
shell corporations where you cannot trace who owns the property the one of the
entire
one of the big reasons that new york city is not affordable is because new york
city like other
cities has become a a vertical money laundering scheme and there are people
that are buying
real estate in new york for the sole purpose of laundering money to get it out
of the country that they live
or to wash it in new york city real estate because they earned it smuggling
drugs arms children women
people across borders and the way to wash that money is to buy real estate in
new york city
under a shell corporation in llc and disguise the ownership interest in it and
if you own real estate in new york
you have a number one it's a good investment because the city is it is the
largest
gross national product gross domestic product of any city in the united states
second only it flips with tokyo usually for the number one in the world
so it's a thriving economy people are always going to want to live in new york
and you can always rent
real estate if you own it in new york city and usually for a high value but a
lot of these people
are not renting they're not renting they're owning they're owning these condos
because they don't want their money to be
taxed or in a bank account where they live now you can get up shell corp start
looking this stuff up
shell corp
owners in new york city these this is the biggest problem that we have this is
a problem that nobody i
don't think mom donnie will do anything about this okay i don't think he will
do anything about
all of the different ways you can purchase a realist real estate
right new data this is from september of 2023 37 of manhattan properties owned
by secretive llc
shell companies 37 now we're finding the real number they said seven percent it's
actually a
relatively small fraction now we're seeing what it really is 37 of properties
in manhattan no one knows
who the fuck owns them that's 40 of the city no one has any clue who owns them
because they're owned by
secretive shell corporations now you might say for example why would people buy
with a a secretive
corporation is there any logical reason for yes i've done it because you want
privacy i don't want
people showing up to my house trying to kill me because they found out where i
so people that are known
people use shell corporations absolutely because they don't want people to know
where they live i'm one
of those people i don't want you to know where i live you're all crazy and if
you're all not crazy
if one of you is crazy that's enough so i don't want you to know where i live
if i was a regular person
a finance person and i made money and uh nobody knew who i was i wouldn't care
so there's a
legitimate reason to use a shell now if you're really determined to kill me i
have you can come
kill me wherever because i advertise where i'm going to be publicly but there's
a lot of people
whatever degree of privacy they're looking for you have a shell core but most
of this isn't that
that might account for half a percent of the 37 maybe a quarter of a percent
the vast majority of
these people okay are trying to hide the fact that they own property in new york
a lot of this property
is empty why in new york city do you walk down a street like billionaires row
and there's no lights
on any of the buildings because no one lives there they don't rent any of these
properties out all of
these properties are essentially banks they're a store of value for somebody's
money and it's usually
ill-gotten gains a lot of it's illegal money some of it isn't but who does that
help it's a great
question who does it help if billionaires from all over the world just buy real
estate in new york city
well michael bloomberg billionaire who ran new york city was quoted as saying
we want all the world's
billionaires why wouldn't we want the richest people in new in the world to launder
their money in new york
after all maybe they'll spend a week or two a year in new york city they'll go
to a restaurant or two
maybe they'll stash their kid at nyu or columbia why wouldn't we want that it's
a global city it's
part of new york city's character why wouldn't we want the wealthiest people in
the world to
use new york city as a vertical money laundering scheme where they purchase
large amounts of real
estate and drive the cost of real estate up for people that actually live in
new york people that
actually live there but this again is the promise of great of globalization is
the great promise
of globalization that money can cross borders people can cross borders you have
an endless supply of
labor if you want you have an endless supply of capital it can go all over the
world it's a free market
everything's free there's no tariffs goods are moving services people why
shouldn't people be able to
come into a city buy all the real estate make all the buildings empty and then
drive the cost up so
that no one can afford to live there it's a great idea this was the idea that
we all grew up with
the magical idea of globalization the magical idea that the entire world was
going to be flat like
thomas friedman said at the new york times everybody was going to be happy and
everybody was there's not
going to be any more wars it won't be wars anymore because we're going to live
in a globalized
interconnected world where because of the internet everybody's going to be able
to fight it out online
so there'll be no more wars how'd that work out how'd that work out for
everybody in gaza do they feel
like there's no more wars but this was the promise of the global system the
idea that we had to take
in people and trump's even saying that we have to do from china the h-1b visas
they got to come in
we got to have people come in from india because we don't have those skills in
america well whose
idea was it to not build those skills in america whose idea was it to bring
people in from china and india
that can do the tech jobs that we're not training americans to do i had an
argument with my aunt this
summer about immigration and i said well you know legal immigration also is
something that should
be regulated and maybe curtailed and she goes well who's going to be your
doctor she goes my doctor
is from pakistan are we importing all of our doctors from pakistan does that
make any sense to
anyone that in the united stat