Name: Back To Iran, Gaza Reborn, & A Happy New Year | The Tim Dillon Show #477
Uploaded: 2026-01-03T17:15:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Back To Iran, Gaza Reborn, & A Happy New Year | The Tim Dillon Show #477' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Back To Iran, Gaza Reborn, & A Happy New Year | The Tim Dillon Show #477' from The Tim Dillon Show on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-03. Transcript available.

Back To Iran, Gaza Reborn, & A Happy New Year | The Tim Dillon Show #477

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the tim dylan show it is the first show of the
new year 2026
it's all new it's new now netanyahu went to mar-a-lago to try to get trump to
bomb iran
it's all new all the stories are new we're turning over a new leaf netanyahu
raises possible round two
strikes on iran new doesn't it feel new doesn't it feel like we've moved into a
new era
it all feels new putin ukraine new zelinski new it's all new putin not quite
happy with
the peace deal that has been proposed which would give which would leave the ukraine
intact as a state
with the military and a you know uh defense capabilities and security
guarantees from
america and other western countries putin not so much doesn't love that um so
putin is basically
going hey we want to kind of dismantle what's left of the ukraine there's been
hundreds of thousands
of casualties on the russian side more than ukraine it's been a prolonged
bloody war
which up until recently we have not shown a huge interest in stopping
in the beginning we were telling zelensky don't negotiate and this thing spiraled
out of control
into a multi-year bloodbath where now we are now trying to do what we did
knock on wood maybe in the middle east some type of peace deal
well i don't know what's going on in gaza now is it good
is everything good now it doesn't feel like everything is good
for my you know it doesn't feel like everything's good get up this smart city
that jared kushner is uh gonna build over there he's heavily involved in the
smart see everybody's like jared kushner did such a great job with the peace
deal and
whitkoff he's done he's done such a great job of the peace that's what his
interest is peace and
what a great job they've done bringing peace to the middle east jared kushner's
out there just
he wants the best for those people in gaza now let's bring those renderings up
you know me i like real
estate i love a rendering let's get that rendering up of a modern smart city
like a futuristic
maybe a blend between uh miami and it has elements of vegas a lot of hotels let's
look at what they're
doing over there what they hope to do they hope to build this really um
advanced city
and turn that as kushner said incredibly valuable land over there into like a
paradise
where you can go you can go you can go to a resort you can go have a meeting
with a tech company if
you'd like you can have fun you can do whatever you want you can invest you can
go over there and
get a condo by the beach this is what they're trying to do there it is get that
up
there it is so this is the future of gaza according to kushner netanyahu whitkoth
this is
the beautiful shining city on a hill that they want to be now so here's my
question who lives there
is that being built for the people in gaza i think i think you know and again i
don't want to
cast aspersions on on people's motives or whatnot but i'm i'm thinking to
myself now i don't know i
have no inside info but i'm looking at this and i'm thinking to myself i don't
think this is being
built for the people in gaza i'm just throwing it out there i know that maybe i'm
wrong i've been wrong
before about many things dairy is bad for my skin i've been wrong about a lot
this doesn't seem like
this is being designed for the people that currently live in gaza it almost
feels like you would have to
move them out and in order to build this i mean i don't know much about
construction i'm not that guy
i can't tell you how to build a home i know a little bit but i think in order
to build this
you would have to build this if i ran
the you know all the world's problems come from iran you know all of your
issues come from iran
it's why you can't afford a house it's why you don't have health care i ran it's
because of hezbollah
in lebanon or it's uh the houthis in yemen these are all the groups that are
preventing you from
living the life you want all of those groups the houthis uh hezbollah al shabab
is back
al shabab from somalia we've resurrected al shabab has returned this year there's
a big scandal
in uh and i'm not saying that there isn't fraud i'm sure there's fraud but the
money is going back
to al shabab so now al shabab is returned and um you know we've got the houthis
and we've got hezbollah
and and israel's uh basically saying to trump we got to go back into iran and
we got to decapitate
the iranian regime which there's a lot of protests right now happening in iran
people are taking to
the streets they're protesting and trump basically has said if you start
killing the protesters
will uh this is donald trump's tweet if iran shots i think he meant shoots but
whatever if iran
shots and violently kills peaceful protesters which is their custom the united
states of america will
come to their rescue we are locked and loaded and ready to go thank you for
your attention to this
matter now here's the other thing he's threatened to kill protesters in our
country i mean we had the
national guard in cities he basically has basically said if you start
protesting in a way we don't like
we might we might kill you so now i'm against riots i'm obviously all that's
crazy but like he literally
is concerned with the protesters in iran
this is the concern the concern is the safety of the protesters who are in iran
it seems weird but
whatever whatever you know it's an odd it's a tweet a a truth social whatever
you call it a truth
when he's doing stuff on truth social he's truthing um it feels like they're
about to go to war
it feels like we're on the eve of a war where he goes hey man if iran harms a
hair on the head
of one of those protesters we're going to come to their rescue and coming to
their rescue means
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i know israel is going to build this beautiful city and they're basically like
well listen we can't build
this city if we have iran backing all these proxies right we can't do that we're
not going to build this
beautiful city for the palestinians remember it's all for them we're not going
to build a futuristic a
futuristic tech hub for the young boys and girls of palestine without knowing
that iran could send
proxies over and ruin it so for the people of gaza for the good of the people
of gaza we must decapitate
decapitate the regime in iran so that we can safely build a futuristic tech hub
for the children of gaza
you're welcome children of gaza in order to give the children of gaza a
futuristic tech hub the ones we
didn't kill the ones that are left limbs they may not have all their limbs and
their parents might be dead
but when they see this futuristic tech hub they are going to love it these
buildings of steel and glass
the most modern architecture i mean all of these buildings climate control biometric
identification
i mean it's gonna be big
and the kids of gaza are going to look at this city and go you know what my
mother starved to death in
front of me but i'll tell you this that's a beautiful fucking bridge that is a
beautiful bridge trump
administration reps have just revealed a grandiose 112 billion dollar plan to
rebuild war-torn gaza
into a futuristic international destination dubbed project sunrise it's a new
day it's a new year
what did i tell you project sunrise isn't it nice and the people from gaza now
this will probably take
you know this is going to happen in phases it's going to be a decades-long
thing but you know
eventually the kids from gaza are going to be so impressed by this city that it's
going to it's
going to be an international destination an international destination the 10-year
development plan which is
pretty ambitious when you look at what they want to do but you know what they've
cleared a lot they've
already done the clearing they've already done the clearing a big part of
construction is doing the
clearing they've done it 10-year development plan drafted by jared kushner u.s
special envoy
steve whitkoff who was a real estate guy before he got into this
and the two top white house aides and two top white house aides is currently
courting investor
countries with a 32 slide powerpoint presentation detailing the bold plan to
renovate burning rubble
into beach resorts
i mean can you imagine they go and they do the plan
they go thank you everyone for coming to the investor presentation thank you
thank you thank you
we really appreciate you guys coming we have an opportunity for you opportunity
we are presenting you with a unique one-time chance to be on the ground floor
of a massive redevelopment
in gaza that's right gaza that one the same one the one you've all read about
and saw on the news
gaza's not gonna be what you remember it we're gonna see luxury hotels high-speed
rail
ai optimized smart grid features that revolutionize the mediterranean coastline
into a bustling metropolis
and you could be involved you could be involved here's a quote gaza's
destruction has been profound
but we believe what lies ahead is not just restoration it's a chance to develop
a gateway
of prosperity in the middle east with state-of-the-art infrastructure urban
design and technology
wow this is the executive summary of one of the slides gaza's destruction has
been profound
so you know when they say that everyone in the room kind of nods they go by the
way what an interesting
word to use profound it's been profound what an interesting word not tragic
not terrible not regrettable even profound gaza's destruction has been
profound profound what an odd way to say it and then all of the investors in
the room they nod because
you know there's got you got to have that solemn nod that solemn nod before you
start licking your chops
and getting really excited about all the opportunities that are going to arise
you know
gaza's just we know gaza's destruction it has been profound but what we are
seeing now is not just
restoration we're seeing luxury luxury the opposite of death is luxury listen
to me
the opposite of death is luxury it is a life forever it is an ai driven city a
smart city which washes the blood away
with ai smart grid features you will forget these people ever lived here no
more olive oil we're going
high tech reimagining gaza as a smart city with tech driven governance and
services tech driven governance and
services and it's coming to a theater near you by the way tech driven
governance oh sounds lovely doesn't it
modern telecom and satellite solutions for enhanced connectivity secure digital
identity and trust
frameworks this is part of their core infrastructure package now by the way i
want you to picture this
they're in a hotel and there's a bunch of people sitting around the room they're
drinking coffee and water
and they have folders the folders have been handed out
by an expressionless woman who was handing the folders out to all of the
different billionaires in the room
sent to millionaires people t