Name: Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Jerry Seinfeld (S03E09)
Uploaded: 2017-08-29T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Jerry Seinfeld (S03E09)' from Norm Macdonald Live on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Jerry Seinfeld (S03E09)' from Norm Macdonald Live on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-08-29. Transcript available.

Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Jerry Seinfeld (S03E09)

Today's episode is brought to you by Audible.com, MeUndies, Bowl & Branch,
Dollar Shave Club, and Texture.
This episode is brought to you by Dollar Shave Club.
Get a great shave at a great price.
Conveniently delivered right to your door.
I know you've done it.
Oh yeah.
And I know you liked it.
I love it.
It's an awesome life hack.
Now what that means is a no-brainer choice.
You no longer have to schlep to the store to buy a cheap disposable razor that
will give you a cheap disposable raise.
And when I use my DSC Executive Razor with their Dr. Carver's Shave Butter.
Oh, the blade just gently glides, giving me such a smooth shave.
They're Dr. Carver's Shave Butter, which is really, really what we're looking
for.
Transparent for a more precise shave.
It helps prevent ingrown hairs.
Have you ever had those?
Oh, the worst.
And fights razor bumps.
I personally use Dollar Shave Club because I like my face to be as smooth as
grape skin.
You, too, can make the smarter choice by joining Dollar Shave Club.
I forgot you joined.
I did join.
Yeah.
You, too, can make a smarter choice by joining Dollar Shave Club, just like
Adam.
For a limited time, new members get their first month of the executive razor
with a tube of their Dr. Carver's Shave Butter.
For only $5, with free shipping.
After that, razors are just a few bucks a month.
That's a $15 value, $5.
In your first month box, what do you get?
You get an awesome weighty handle, full cassette of four cartridges, and a tube
of their Shave Butter.
Shave Butter.
After your first month, replacement cartridges ship automatically at their
regular price.
And there are no hidden fees, no commitments.
You can cancel anytime you like.
You can only get this offer at DollarShaveClub.com slash norm.
DollarShaveClub.com slash norm.
Seriously?
Four, three, two, three, two, one.
Every number?
Wow.
He co-created the greatest sitcom of all time.
Thanks.
Seinfeld.
He created the greatest digital thing of all time.
Comedians in cars.
Thank you.
Who drink coffee.
And he is with us for the full hour.
That's a Larry King phrase.
Yeah, of course it's Larry King, yeah.
Of course it's Larry King.
Did you ever take from your predecessors?
Sure.
Who?
I don't use the word take.
Well.
We prefer influence.
Influence.
Yeah.
I saw this guy, because one night I was reading in Rolling Stone, and I go, my
God, we were
greatly influenced by Gate Mouth Brown.
So one night I was doing a stand-up, right?
And next door there was a basement, and it said, tonight, Gate Mouth Brown.
So I go down, there's about eight people in the audience.
The guy's the greatest guitarist I've ever seen in my life, right?
So I talked to him later, I go, you know, but the Rolling Stones really said
the influence.
He's like.
But, you know, they didn't give him enough money.
Why should they give him money?
Well, because he influenced them.
I know, but if you're the greatest guitarist of all time, make your own money.
Now, so who influenced you?
Who is your greatest influence?
No.
Here's what I miss about Larry King.
Yes.
It's just there.
It's nine o'clock.
You look at your watch.
It's there.
Yeah.
And you don't particularly want to see Larry King.
No.
But the dots.
I felt the black with those colored dots.
It made a very nice.
Here's the key to TV.
You want the key?
The background.
That's right.
The place.
People, if people like, TV is a place medium.
If people like the place, they like the show.
The people are not as important as the place.
This is my theory of TV.
It's also my theory of why sports are so popular on TV.
Because it's just that airy, open, outside environment that looks nice on your
wall.
Huh.
That's my theory.
That's just some of the stuff I've got.
I've got more.
So who is your serious influence in comedy?
Mine?
Yeah.
Robert Klein.
Uh-huh.
I took everything from Robert Klein.
He was the guy when you were starting.
Well, it was just, he was that first guy that you saw.
Hey, this guy's kind of like me.
Yeah.
You know, that's what you need to get you going.
Who did you see that went, hey, I'm kind of like that.
Maybe I could do that.
I don't know.
Nobody?
Were there comedians in Canada when you were a kid?
Well, they're Americans, comedians, yeah.
You must have seen somebody.
I love Bob Holt.
I thought he was the greatest comedian ever.
I think Bill Cosby's the biggest comedian of all time.
Oh, do you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't think anyone will ever match his production and quality of material.
Mm-hmm.
Do you like Bill Cosby?
I love Bill Cosby.
Yeah.
Did you listen to those records when you were a kid?
Sure.
We went and saw him.
You know, I had maybe the greatest Bill Cosby story ever.
Really?
And now it's not in the top 10,000.
Because I'll tell people the story.
Right.
And I'll constantly be interrupted by it.
And then, did he rape you?
You didn't ever rape me?
It had nothing to do with the story.
How much are you bothered by the fact that this comedian who you really thought
was great
turns out to be this person doing horrible things?
Do you separate his work from the person?
Does it taint it at all?
Not at all.
Not at all.
Because, listen.
Not at all.
Listen, suppose...
Well, there's nothing else for you to do, but listen.
I don't know nothing about these old fellas.
But you hear, hey, Beethoven.
Yeah.
Raped his own daughter.
He did?
Well, let's say he did.
Would you give a good God damn?
Would you give her rats?
Yeah, I would.
That's pretty bad.
Pick up different crime.
Different crime.
Okay.
Knocked over at a liquor store, let's say.
Here's something he was guilty of that a lot of people don't know.
Yeah.
He was deef.
Yeah.
Now, that's not a crime.
No.
But it's true.
Yeah, but that doesn't affect...
That makes...
Some people say it makes it even better.
It does.
I don't understand that.
See, I think if he could hear, his music would be better.
Yeah, probably would.
Yeah.
Did you ever...
What about these comedians that have some God damn horrible affliction and then
come up
and talk to you?
You ever have that happen to you?
On stage or in life?
No, off stage.
Some multiple sclerosis or muscular dystrophy, something like that.
Yeah.
And then they roll over to you and...
It makes you feel...
It's not easy.
...uncomfortable.
And it hurts timing.
Yeah.
It's a hell of a thing, huh?
But when you get a guy close to you like that...
Yeah.
I don't excel in those type situations.
No.
And I feel very bad about myself.
Sure.
Maybe more than any other time is when I'm taught dealing with someone with an
affliction.
And I'm not sure what I'm supposed...
It's like if you're walking down the sidewalk and there's somebody coming the
other way in
a wheelchair.
Yeah.
Do you have a look or do you...
So, I don't know.
I'm going to act normal.
I'm sure he wants me to act normal.
How do you...
What do you do?
Well, I try to...
I look at the guy and I hope to God my face isn't making all kinds of twitches.
I like to hedge my bets.
I don't want to ignore him.
So, I'll look at him, but I'll like scowl or something.
Really?
Yeah.
It's the same joke.
Oh, it's a owl.
Yeah.
You can't do the same joke twice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a comedy rule right there.
Just shattered.
But he does have a question for you.
Great.
I did.
My trusty sidekick, Adam Meagut, by the way, who runs the world-famous comedy
store and chooses
the comics.
So, how do you manage to do this at the same time?
You must have chose a bunch of them in advance.
It's surprisingly easy.
And then you make the trip.
Now, we're telling the audience, this is your first Norm Macdonald live in New
York.
Yeah.
That's why we have the fancy Skyline backdrop.
Yeah.
That's right.
That's great.
Yeah.
Adam Meagut, this fella.
Yeah.
Did you ever work at the comedy store?
No.
Mitzi didn't like me.
What?
She didn't care for me.
Yeah.
That's what I wanted to know about.
I wanted to hear about your history with the store.
I was there a few months ago and you popped in with Sebastian.
Yeah.
I think it was your first time on stage there since 1979 or something.
Man Cow.
What's his name?
It's Maniscalco.
That's it.
You got it.
Yeah.
Man Cow.
Sometimes he just goes by that as by himself.
Yeah.
He interviewed me with him.
So, you had a question, though.
Yeah.
I wanted to hear a little bit about your history with the store and Mitzi in
particular.
Well, look.
Not everybody hits it off.
Right.
You know?
And we just didn't hit it off.
I was a very independent fellow in those days.
A lot of comedians, as you know, have that broken wing bird thing about them.
And I was not one of those people.
Still not.
Not damaged.
No.
I'm not the damaged type.
You're a bird on a wire.
Right?
Yeah.
I'm the eagle.
And even when I was young, I had that attitude.
And you're the eagle.
And if you see a bird with a wing.
Broken wing.
Boom.
You're on.
Yeah.
Right?
So, anyway.
You ain't going to be doing sets.
No.
So, I remember I had a meeting with her.
And I asked, how come, you know.
Now, where are you in your career at this time?
I was just a few years in.
But I was pretty good.
I came out from New York.
And I auditioned there.
And I did well.
And then I put in for spots, as you do.
And I would get, like, one spot in Westwood.
And then I kept putting in and putting in.
And no spots.
And eventually I asked her for a meeting.
And she told me, didn't care for my attitude.
Your attitude on stage?
No, maybe I think as a person.
Or your attitude off stage.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah.
That's fine.
Everyone's entitled to that.
Yeah, sure.
It was one of the greatest benefits to my career of anything that ever happened
to me.
Because it made me very angry and very hardworking.
Yeah, motivated.
Yeah, I got very motivated after that.
I thought, oh, so I've come out to L.A. to perform at the comedy store every
night.
That's why I moved there.
Right.
Much like a breakup or something, where just you want to, it's a revenge.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He jumped off the hotel next door.
And survived.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a great story.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you remember that guy's name?
Yeah.
Gary Mule, dear.
Something like that.
No, I don't remember his name.
Yeah.
But you remember his name.
Steve Lubetkin.
Steve Lubetkin.
Great guy and a good friend of Richard Lewis.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
Now, when I say Richard Lewis, it's like you didn't even know.
Who were your contemporaries?
My contemporaries were Larry Miller, Paul Reiser, Jimmy Brogan.
Jay Leno was a few years ahead of me, but we became friends when I came out to
L.A.
Those were the guys.
I don't know how big the generations are in comedy.
I think it's about...
Mark Schiff.
Mark Schiff.
You remember him?
Sure.
He's still around.
We still work together.
Barry Marder.
Barry Marder.
Yep.
He was a funny guy.
Yeah.
Funny guy.
I saw Jimmy Brogan one time, and he was like, you wouldn't curse.
Right.
And heckled mercilessly at the Laugh Factory.
And so the guy was like, you fucking cocksucker.
He was like, very nice.
Yeah.
Very good.
Yeah.
Did you talk to your mother like that?
Yeah.
Why don't you suck my cock, you fucker?
Very nice.
Yeah.
Good.
Good for you, then.
That's a funny way to handle that, isn't it?
Good for you, then.
Good for you, then.
It was kind of nice.
I mean, he wouldn't break down, you know?
He wouldn't lower himself.
And sometimes when I was a little blue on stage, and then afterwards, I'd just
try to avoid
Jimmy, because he'd seek me out and go, you know, you're a funny guy.
You got some good jokes.
You don't have to do that.
That's a funny impression.
Well, the reason I'm here is because I like the show.
Well, that's very kind of a job.
And I feel that you've really got something good here.
Well, that's very true.
That I hope you stay with it.
So we fly in from Los Angeles to New York City.
And, you know, now they have funny things that they tell you.
Did we just switch into David Brenner's act?
A little bit.
No, we're actually going to talk about where you're at.
Because they say in the funny virgin thing, they say, for those of you, I don't
know if
you