Name: Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Bill Hader (S03E02)
Uploaded: 2016-09-26T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Bill Hader (S03E02)' from Norm Macdonald Live on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-09-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Bill Hader (S03E02)' from Norm Macdonald Live on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-09-26. Transcript available.

Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Bill Hader (S03E02)

Tonight, the full hour devoted to Bill Hader.
Writer, comic, impressionist, actor,
now has a program on HBO.
But before that, me and my trusty sidekick, Adam Egott,
will proceed with our opening remarks.
You know, I'm still getting my footing here,
interviewing people and stuff,
because we were off a long time.
Long time? Oh, two years, I think.
Two years, that's ridiculous.
That's quite a sabbatical, yeah.
We should never take two years off again.
Yeah, so we have to keep finding our footing.
That's what I find.
Just when we have our footing, we lose our footing.
I know, and it seems like the more time
that we spend in between seasons,
it's even harder to get back on that bike.
So we're back in our real life,
and I see you at the comedy store,
I go there to do sets,
and I gotta tell you,
I feel like you've been down lately.
You know, that's a tough job.
It's a tough job.
It's just in its essence.
In addition to all of the day-to-day mundane bullshit
that you have to deal with,
on top of that,
to also have people disrespecting you constantly.
They disrespect you.
Yeah.
Well, it may be that you don't have
a lot of formal education.
Well...
You dropped out of school,
and what was it?
Very young.
Fourth grade?
I think it was about fourth or fifth grade.
So that might be part of it.
Yeah.
And so I've actually thought about this,
and what I've been doing very recently
is every day I find a new word.
A new word every day.
A new word every day,
and I incorporate it into my everyday vocabulary.
So if I asked you today
what your new word is,
you would be able to tell me.
Absolutely.
Today's word for me was erudite.
Erudite.
It's learned in arcane subjects
and widely read.
Erudite.
Yes.
I'm familiar with that word.
Do you know sesquipedality?
Sesquipedality.
The use of long words
sometimes applied as a derogative
to connote pretentious
and overbearing posturing.
Sesquipedality.
That's a good one.
What about this one?
A repricusative.
And that's basically,
well, let me tell you what it is.
It's a bitter, ignorant person
who, entirely unaware,
sees his own faults projected
onto the behavior of others.
Repricusative.
Hazardling.
A lowly sniveller
who risks his position
by making clumsy innuendos
about a great and virtuous person
who is clearly his or her better.
Hazardly.
Bumquacious.
Adjective.
In the manner of a desperate coward
whose last resort
is to make veiled threats
to someone he envies
and probably fears
because they're younger
and way more sexually potent.
Bumquacious.
Dimmatoid.
A feeble-minded asshole
who is a failure at everything
but he deludes himself
into thinking he has one small talent
which he doesn't even have.
Dimmatoid.
Canuckadile.
Canuckadile.
Yeah, it's a migratory
Canadian rodent.
Canadian?
Yeah, often found rummaging
in the dumpsters around Hollywood
for toxic scraps
to stuff in his
leering, hideous face.
Canuckadile.
That's you.
Coprogustiak.
The noun.
Vulgar.
A half-recovered drunk comedy club manager
who subsists entirely
on the foul-smelling sweepings
from the fetid floor
of animal cages
and
who is a hair's breath
away from a brutal beating
with a Louisville slugger.
Coprogustiak.
No.
No, Norm.
I haven't heard that one.
It's a good word.
It's a great word.
It's a great word.
When we return,
Bill Hader.
Tonight, the full hour
devoted to Bill Hader.
I'm told he's a deeply funny man.
And he'll be with us.
He's a writer.
He's an actor.
He's an impressionist.
He's a producer of everything.
And you probably know him
from Saturday Night Live
because once you've done
Saturday Night Live,
then that's going to be
on your obituary.
everything else is borrowed time.
Yeah.
Bill Hader is with us.
We have a studio audience
for the first time.
Oh, this is the first time
you're doing this?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
It's not working.
It's like when Tom Snyder
and Rona Barrett
did the show together.
They put in 12 people.
But my trusty sidekick, Adam Egan,
is here as always.
He is the gatekeeper
of who becomes stars
because he chooses
whoever goes up
on the world famous
comedy star stage.
Oh, really?
So you're constantly
bumping people
for Judd Apatow
to do a lot of stuff.
Perfect example.
Did Mulaney talk to you?
This is directly from Mulaney.
You're constantly
having to be like,
Judd wants to do this.
He's polite about it.
Yeah, he's very polite about it.
I've been there
when he said to bump people.
There is a funny thing
about people that are rich
because I remember
Bill Murray said
if you have the choice
between being rich and famous
and rich,
just take rich
because he doesn't like the fame.
But there's a lot of guys
I know that are very rich
but they want to be famous.
I knew a guy
that developed
The Simpsons,
Sam Simon,
and he hired
Matt LeBove.
He hired a guy, right?
So a guy
a guy generally costs
$10,000, $20,000
of the sobs.
He paid the guy $50,000.
He said,
just make me famous.
They can't make you famous.
They can just hang around
and go to parties.
Matt LeBove,
who was my guy,
he was like,
I did the ESPYs
and everyone hated my guts.
And afterwards,
I said,
hey, where's the party?
And the guy goes,
I don't think you should go.
And then Matt LeBove goes,
can I go still?
I'm like, yeah, I guess.
Tell me about it tomorrow.
But listen, man,
this is not,
this show is not about
Adam Egett.
It's about Bill Hader.
Thank you.
Yeah, absolutely.
And we were talking just,
I think you guys
were talking earlier
about documentaries
because along with
the genius Fred Armisen,
Bill has made
a bunch of faux documentaries
that are fantastically funny.
Is that why you were talking about it?
Yeah, we were talking about that
and the band.
I love that goddamn band.
I went to go see
Sleater Kinney
at the Palladium.
I think it was Sleater Kinney
that you were opening for.
Oh, yeah, I think Fred opened for,
yeah, yeah.
But I saw the behind the music
pair, it was fantastic.
Yeah, yeah,
Blue Jean Company.
Glad to show fun for you.
Oh, yeah, yeah,
it's a blast.
No, and it's also just like
the attention to detail
those guys do on those
are so,
it's just,
it's kind of nice
to just,
so much of it
is kind of like
oh, real quick
and disposable
or whatever
and these guys,
Rhys and Alex
who direct them
are really crazy.
Like SNL you mean
where it has to be messy.
Yeah, SNL,
well they do the SNL thing,
yeah,
but like on SNL
when it was like super messy
and you're always just like,
you would close a door
and you would watch
the wall shake.
Although if they do the film,
they just dump money into it.
I know.
It was amazing.
I know,
you would show up
on those sets
and you would have
a dumb idea
like on Tuesday night
with a friend
and go,
what if we did a thing
in outer space
where whatever,
you know,
and then the next night
there you are
on like this,
yeah,
this huge thing
and I'm like,
oh my God,
I feel so,
and it's not very good
and the guy's hammering.
I know,
and you're like,
oh,
this thing's dumb.
It's a dumb idea,
guys.
I remember I did
the Vincent Price
on SNL
and I remember
before we did it,
Lauren was like,
this is the most expensive set
we've ever had.
Oh,
wow.
It did look amazing,
that set.
And I was like,
oh,
okay.
He goes,
I like Vincent Price,
but why now?
Why now?
Vincent Price,
when I was on the show.
Mark McKinney.
Mark McKinney.
No,
no.
Michael.
Michael McKinney.
That's right.
And he did
like a perfect
Vincent Price,
but it wasn't
as funny as yours.
That's an interesting
thing about impressions,
you know,
like Tom Snyder
was portrayed
by Dan Aykroyd,
but then later
Harry Shearer
portrayed him
and Harry Shearer
is like dead perfect,
but not funny.
Yeah,
it was hard.
I would get that
sometimes.
I learned that
learning curve
where I would get
someone perfect
and then you're
very rigid
while you're playing
them because it's
balancing a bunch
of plates
where you're
thinking,
well,
his eyes are like
this and he kind
of holds himself
like this.
And then it's
Jim Downey
actually was the one
that's like,
loosen up,
man,
make it stupid.
Like,
it's a skewed
version of that
person,
you know,
so.
Yeah,
like the most skewed
I ever saw
was Dana Carvey
doing Robin Leach
and he'd just go,
I'm talking loud
and I don't know
why.
He'd say it
like 10 times.
But I also was
amazed at Dana
that he could do
George Bush
because I remember
when George Bush
became president
I was like,
well,
nobody can do him.
Yeah.
He has no,
not going to do it.
Yeah,
he did,
when he did
Mickey Rooney.
Oh yeah.
I remember Jim Downey
explaining to me
the handles,
that was what he said.
You could find the
handles on an impression.
That was the thing
and that was,
like,
you would just do that
over and over again.
You would find.
Tell the folks at home
who Jim Downey is.
Oh.
He's the late writer,
no.
Jim was a writer
on a SNL
back like
in the beginning
and he's,
I think,
within the people
there,
he's kind of
the almighty
god of writers there.
Great guy
and he wrote
with you on an update.
Yeah.
Very sweet guy.
I think the best
stretch and update.
You know what I like
about Jim
and I like this
about you too
is that you laugh a lot.
Yeah.
And I find
some people don't laugh.
Like,
I remember guys
would go through,
I won't say who they are
but they go through
the sketch.
Okay, okay,
that'll work,
that'll work.
Yeah.
I'm like,
you're not laughing?
You don't think it's funny?
Like,
you're just this,
it must be a power play
or something.
Yeah,
sometimes I would see that.
Sometimes I realized
it was like,
I said it to someone once.
I was like,
you never laugh at anything.
Kind of just,
like,
oh.
And then they started
laughing at stuff
and then I was like,
well,
now I don't know.
Are you just trying
to make me feel better?
That was one of the things
I love so much
is that Mulaney,
I heard that Mulaney
would write all the stuff
for Stefan.
Tell the folks at home
who Mulaney is.
John Mulaney.
The comeback kid.
Yeah,
John Mulaney,
the comeback kid.
The comeback kid.
It was like six months later.
Yeah.
He's like,
I'm back.
Bam!
Go ahead.
He's a brilliant
stand-up comedian
and he wrote on SNL,
I know,
with you.
Yeah,
yeah.
He created the
character for Stefan.
So I read that
you would not read it
until you went.
Well,
I did.
I did read stuff
and we would write it
and then what he would do
is because
I do laugh a lot
but I am a soft touch
when something is just
like a little different.
Do you know what I mean?
It's not like a huge difference
but if just one word
is different,
that would make me laugh
because and it was
such a personal thing
because I'm like,
oh,
John just finds that funny.
So like he changed
one thing I was like,
I remember a guy's name
was it was a two-year-old
ultimate fighter
Julie Lips Jackson.
He's got fists
like empanadas
and he's addicted
to ecstasy.
That was what we wrote.
So I was expecting that
and he was so smart
that he always put
the thing I hadn't seen
on the next card,
you know,
so it would flip over
and there would be
a new thing there.
So it would be like
two-year-old
ultimate fighter
Julie Lips Jackson,
he's got fists
like empanadas
and he's my best friend.
So I would go
and he's my best friend
and then it was
this slow burn
like that's so dumb
and I was there laughing.
That's really smart
because it goes
the other way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Usually they,
when it's like
too big of a thing
it wouldn't make me laugh.
Sometimes you put
a new joke in there
and you're kind of
more in your head
like wait,
I got to deliver this right
and I'm more like
wait, what the hell is this?
But it was just like
the rhythm didn't break.
It was just like
oh fuck,
you know.
How did you become
on Saturday Night Live
an impressionist?
I don't know your history.
You were not a stand-up.
No, I wasn't a stand-up
and I didn't really do
impressions of famous people
until I got,
I had to do my audition.
I just did impressions
of like friends and stuff.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
But when you were a kid
did you do like
guys that rich little did?
No, I mean
I would do like
Dana's stuff.
I'm not just,
we were huge fans
of your Burt Reynolds impression.
We would 