Name: Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Martin Mull (S02E12)
Uploaded: 2014-07-28T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Martin Mull (S02E12)' from Norm Macdonald Live on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-07-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Martin Mull (S02E12)' from Norm Macdonald Live on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-07-28. Transcript available.

Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Martin Mull (S02E12)

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I mean, it's tough, Norm, you know?
The old man's been in a coma for about two weeks now, and every day I go in and
it's just the same story.
I don't think he's going to pull through, and I keep hoping and praying some
chance that he's going to get better and pull through.
And it looks like we're finally going to have to just pull the plug, you know?
He's my old man.
It's just, it's tough, you know?
It's really tough.
You got any fours?
No fish.
Damn!
I can't catch a break!
Got any twos?
Oh my god, this must be a luckier day.
Tonight, the full hour of comedy legend, Martin Mull.
He starred in Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, Fernwood 2 Night, and America 2 Night,
alongside Fred Willard.
He was also Roseanne Connor's boss in Roseanne, and he played Gene Parmesan in
Arrested Development.
All right, so.
That'll do it.
My trusty side, Kagan Amiga, who you have met, is in the throes of a panic
attack at the moment.
Oh, did you have a bag to breathe in?
No, no.
I had a bag of Xanax.
That'll do it.
I had a bag of Xanax.
Yeah, yeah.
So he might get sleepy.
Where do you first remember Martin Mull from?
I mean, that's a really good question.
I, um...
Josh, I don't know.
I couldn't answer that either.
I can't remember the first time I...
That would be almost impossible for you.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's tough.
Okay, I forget.
No, probably from Roseanne.
Probably from Roseanne.
See, I remember him from way before that.
Because when I was a teenager, there were two comics that I loved.
Steve Martin and you.
And you guys seemed to be the cutting edge of the new comedy.
And, uh...
We toured together.
You toured together?
We did the Steve Martin Mull show on the road.
Oh, my God.
That must have been amazing.
But I saw you alone.
Yeah.
I saw you in Toronto.
Yeah, well, sometimes he wouldn't show up.
No.
And you'd sit in a big comfy chair.
Yeah.
Where'd you get that idea?
Um, the comfy chair came from the fact that when I was in college,
I was, uh, I didn't have the proverbial pot to piss in.
No money.
So, like everybody else during the folk music scare of the 60s,
you know, I started playing music.
And, uh, I was in these rock and roll bands.
Set up, you know, the way they used to...
The Beatles used to set up with the amps about 30 yards apart,
you know, across the stage.
It was supposed to make you look magnificent or something.
And it was noise.
And it was awful.
And it wasn't anything.
And then I went home at night,
and maybe with a little help from some plants or something like that,
I would sit around with my pals, you know,
and sit in the furniture and just play.
And that was music.
And I thought, I got it.
The catalyst here is furniture.
And so from then on, I, uh, when I went out on my own,
I took literally my living room furniture with me.
So it wasn't in your rider, you would take it with you?
Later on, when I was working out of town,
it became in the rider.
You had to go to the Salvation Army,
find an easy chair, an end table,
and that kind of thing.
So were you a serious folk musician at one point?
Well, that's an oxymoron, if you ask me.
But, uh, no.
In fact, I hated the whole folk movement.
Oh, you did?
Yeah.
I actually had a song once called
Stop the War or I Won't Stop Singing,
which was my little tribute to folk music.
Do you think that Bob Dylan, uh, hated folk music?
I don't know.
I was not, I, I'm one of these rare people that-
You're not a Dylan fan.
I was once quoted in Rolling Stone,
and I guess I'll stick by it by saying
that his lyrics were the equivalent
of throwing a thesaurus out the window of a moving car.
So that's almost a trick.
Yeah.
And I, I was not a fan.
Yeah.
What about, what about the folk musicians
that were doing not as good as you,
but like John Prine or guys-
John Prine I liked.
I liked Prine.
Stevie Goodman I liked.
Phil Oaks.
Phil Oaks.
I wasn't a huge fan of his.
Bonnie Raitt was a pal.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that gets more into the blues and R&B,
and that was more where I-
Oh, yeah, yeah.
What I liked to play.
And my favorite, and we have it apparently,
but my favorite memory when I was young of you
was, you know, they've done it so much since,
like they did Lazy Sunday on Saturday Night Live
at Digital Short,
whereas white guys doing rap, you know?
Uh-huh.
And I remember you doing white man's blues.
Yes.
And we have it on the screen.
Oh, my God.
On the ukulele?
That's what they say.
I woke up this afternoon.
I saw old cars were gone.
I woke up this afternoon, old mom.
I saw old cars were gone.
Oh, yeah.
Long ago.
I feel so low down deep inside.
I threw my drink across the lawn.
There it is.
There it is.
I threw my drink across the lawn.
Yeah.
That's a great, great line.
Thank you.
Thank you.
It was supposed to be learning the blues
on the deltas of Lake Erie.
What were you using to...
Well, I claimed that part of my show,
we'll call it a show for now,
that I learned this when I was very, very young.
So I had to get my original guitar,
my original slide bottle.
That's why it was a baby bottle.
Yeah, a baby bottle.
And I used to actually take it on the road.
You're almost using it as a steel guitar, kind of.
Yes, exactly.
And I wanted it to look like it had milk in it.
So you can't carry milk on the road.
It gets bad.
And so I did.
I put powdered sugar in it.
And one time coming through an airport,
some guy found this thing.
And I was...
I missed that flight.
Yeah, but it was...
You looked like Jeff Foxworthy in that clip.
I know.
I look like a young hippie.
But how did that happen?
So it was you and Steve Martin.
You guys were the kings of comedy at that specific moment.
His reputation preceded him when I first met him.
And this is kind of amusing to me.
And isn't that really what's important?
The first time I met him,
we were playing at a place called
the Great Southeast Music Hall in Atlanta.
And it was kind of a dump.
But at any rate,
so I'm going back to the dressing room.
And there's a very narrow hallway.
And Steve is sitting out there
tuning his banjo.
And I didn't know what to say to him.
For some reason,
I was absolutely tongue-tied
because his reputation had preceded him.
I'd seen him on the Smothers Brothers and so on.
So I just said nothing.
I just walked about five or six paces past him.
And I hear,
Oh, pretty good.
How are you?
And it made me laugh so hard.
And we became great friends
and still are to this day.
Oh, you are?
Oh, yeah.
God damn, that's cool.
One of my best friends.
Wish I was friends with somebody.
You've got to work at it.
I know.
I went to Martin Short.
Uh-huh.
And I said,
How about me?
And you become friends.
Yeah.
And he agreed to it.
Marty did?
Yeah.
And he said,
You know,
I have a place.
I have a cottage in Ontario.
We can go there.
Yeah.
But I can never get out of my apartment and stuff.
It's tough.
Yeah.
It's hard.
But I find he would be a fantastic friend.
Marty's very funny.
Just make you laugh all the time.
Very smart.
All the time, right?
Real smart.
Gosh.
And then,
because one time,
I was at,
they have this comedy festival.
Is that Just for Laughs?
Yeah.
It was an Aspen.
Oh, an Aspen.
I met your friend.
What's his name?
Norman Lear.
Norman.
Yeah, what an insufferable guy.
So,
he comes out.
This is,
so he comes out.
He's coming out of this theater.
And I go,
Hey,
Mr. Lear,
I was wanting to say,
All in the Family.
I loved All in the Family.
And Mary Hart,
Mary Hart was great.
And he's like,
Well,
what about,
Where's My Car?
That's what he said to me.
Where's My Car?
So,
I go,
No,
I'm in show business also.
But also,
even if I wasn't,
what the fuck?
Why don't you say thanks?
Well,
I thought,
Where's My Car was a show he had done.
That's what I got.
Like,
My Mother the Car was a spin-off.
He did a show.
He thought you were the valet?
Yeah.
He did a show I saw once.
It was on YouTube.
And everybody was a dog.
Dressed up as a dog.
Okay.
And it was,
No,
He's a great guy.
High concept.
Yeah,
He's very high concept.
But he's a great,
He's all right.
Yeah.
He's 90-something now.
Is he really?
Yeah.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
And his wife
writes a magazine.
His ex-wife.
Yeah.
Oh,
are they split up?
Well,
his first wife writes a magazine.
I don't know if it's new.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I find him a deeply uninteresting man.
Really?
Wow.
He's always been very kind to me.
But I know that,
yes,
he'd put you on everything.
Yeah,
he sure did.
Which makes him not only uninteresting,
but tasteless.
No.
He has an eye for Conor.
My God,
without Carol O'Connor,
you know,
how would that have worked?
Yeah.
But,
on the other hand,
all the family I found
didn't work,
because my dad was racist
and loved all the family.
Uh-huh.
And I think
that Archie Bunker
was a much more likable
character than Meathead,
and if you just watched that show
from a neutral position,
you'd take Archie's side.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
He made sense.
It was a failure.
Yeah.
He failed.
But he didn't fail
with Mary Hartman,
Mary Hartman.
That was an insanely good show.
That was awfully good.
Yeah.
My God,
I remember watching that.
I was like,
I thought I was the only guy
watching at some,
like,
people use that word
surreal all the time,
but it did seem surreal.
Well,
I was on the road
doing my little live act,
and I came home once
and I'd heard about that show,
and I turned on the TV,
and just in time,
the first thing I saw
was Grandpa Larkin,
the old guy,
come in the kitchen,
and he says,
where's the peanut butter?
And the first place he looked
was in the friggin' dryer.
And I thought,
good,
they're dealing with,
you know,
Alzheimer's and serenity
and so forth.
I like this show,
so I mean,
I had some contacts,
so I went and met Norman Lear
and wanted to be a writer
on the show.
And we talked for about an hour,
and he said,
oh,
it's been nice meeting you,
interesting,
but we don't need any writers.
That was it.
And then like six months later,
I got a call to come in
to read for something.
And I thought,
read, actor?
I'd never acted in anything
except for my draft physical.
That was it,
you know?
And I went in,
and lo and behold,
I got the damn thing.
Wow.
It was really fun.
It's funny how much luck
plays in shows.
So much luck.
Absolutely.
Like when people ask how to,
you can't just go get lucky.
No, people say,
well,
what's the key?
You know,
just be friggin' lucky.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
It's funny because
I had a similar experience
but opposite kind of.
Roseanne saw me.
It's always like,
you know,
but anyway,
she liked me.
And she said,
you want to be an actor
on the show,
Roseanne,
on Roseanne's show.
She said,
you can be Jackie's boyfriend.
And I said,
I can't act.
I don't know how to act.
I should have said
I do want to act.
But I said,
I don't know how to act.
So she said,
well,
why don't you write?
And I'm like,
she's like,
you got jokes?
You wrote those, right?
And I'm like,
yeah.
So then I wrote
and then I was like,
holy God,
like going from stand-up
to a sitcom
when you're a writer,
you go,
oh,
this whole fucking script
is going to bomb.
That's it.
because the jokes
are so weak
compared to what a joke
has to be on stage
in front of a paying audience.
Well,
what I found was
I did a stint
as a writer too,
myself and a gal
named Max Lapidus.
I don't know if you know.
Maxine Lapidus.
Yeah.
She and I wrote an episode
and I thought this thing
was just as clean.
You could eat off this puppy.
This was so good
all the way through.
And we went into the,
we finally brought it in,
sit down in the meeting.
There's like 26 writers
sitting there.
They went,
okay,
page one,
act one.
First line,
Roseanne says,
hi, honey.
Anybody beat it?
Oh, yeah,
they all sort of beat it.
And they went through
and I don't think
there was anything left
that we had written.
Yeah.
Nothing.
I just thought,
j