Name: Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Bob Saget (S02E08)
Uploaded: 2014-06-30T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Bob Saget (S02E08)' from Norm Macdonald Live on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-06-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Bob Saget (S02E08)' from Norm Macdonald Live on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-06-30. Transcript available.

Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Bob Saget (S02E08)

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Tonight we speak for the full hour with Bob Saget, a man who has been seminal
in my career at many different points.
This is a book he has written. It's called Dirty Daddy.
We'll be speaking to him momentarily, but first I will have a few words with my
trusty sidekick, Adam Egan.
Why are you wearing a scarf?
I've been bitten with the acting bug.
You're acting?
Yeah. I think that some producers saw my work that I've been doing here on the
show, and I've been cast in a film.
You're in a film?
Yes.
A film?
Yep.
That's amazing. Have you ever done any acting at all?
Other than the work I've done here with you on the Video Podcast Network, this
is my first real feature role.
Well, this is incredible.
It's a great opportunity. I've just jumped in with both feet, and I've just
really immersed myself in the acting world, and it's going pretty well.
I've never seen a career with so much propulsion behind it. My goodness.
Well, the...
You're the manager of the comedy store.
Yes.
Then you come and you do a podcast, and then a producer sees you, and you're in
a film.
The producers told me that they saw some raw talent, and they put me to work
almost immediately, and I've just really taken to it.
I actually brought a clip.
You brought a clip?
I brought a clip. I'd love to show it.
That's incredible.
Yeah, sure. We can show you a clip.
Well, let's roll the clip.
Okay, let's take a look.
Yes. Oh, oh, oh, right there. Oh, my God, that's a huge...
Oh, right there.
Adam, you spineless little jellyfish.
That's where a clitoris is.
Oh, right there. Right there. Adam, you might want to watch this and learn a
thing or two.
I'm watching.
Oh, this is great sex, not with my husband.
I don't know what that is. What is that?
Well, that's the latest film I've been working on. It's called Cuckold Sessions
No. 7.
I've done several. I've done several since the break.
Cuckold. A cuckold is a man whose wife is promiscuous to his face, and
everybody knows it.
Exactly. Exactly. In this particular scene...
And this is a genre of film?
Yeah, yeah, a very popular genre.
I've, like I said, I've done several of these.
And you play the cuckold.
I do. I do play the cuckold.
I've had a lot of success with this.
Again, they feel like they see some real raw talent in me.
I've been...
This is hardcore pornography.
Oh, yeah. It's hardcore pornography, but it's got a real following.
I was just recognized for an award at the AVN Awards for Best Cuckold Film.
And in this particular scene, my wife is shaming me.
Now, who plays your wife?
Oh, my actual wife.
That's Debbie?
Yeah.
You can't see with...
You can't see her entire face.
He's a pretty big guy.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
There's an African-American man making love to your actual wife, Debbie.
Yeah.
While you sit on the...
Mandingo is his name.
Mandingo.
Mandingo.
Hell of a guy. Real nice guy.
Nice guy.
Yeah, nice guy.
So he has sex with your wife and ridicules you as he's doing it.
Exactly.
Well, it's all just...
It's a film.
My motivation, you know, I really get into the character.
I've noticed...
I take a lot of time to get to know the character and really immerse myself in
the role and think,
how would I feel if my wife...
Let's say Debbie, for instance.
Well, it is Debbie.
Well, yes, but, I mean, her character...
Yes, it's Debbie.
Who does she play?
Her name in this movie, I believe, is Ruby.
That sounds a lot like Debbie.
Oh, yes, but it's just a film.
It's a film, Norm.
I mean, this, you know...
No, I understand what you're...
Citizen Kane was only partially based on reality, you know.
But Citizen Kane didn't have...
People are calling this the Citizen Kane of cuckold genre, by the way.
Not to toot my own horn.
The words of AVN monthly, not my own.
Well, let's not blaspheme the name of Orson Welles, because Orson Welles, you
know, never had...
Johnny Cockhammer, the gentleman...
What?
Johnny Cockhammer is the gentleman...
Johnny Cockhammer.
Cockhammer.
It's two separate words.
But the gentleman who directed this film, in the industry, they're referring to
him as the Orson Welles of the cuckold genre as well.
A real wonder kid.
Now, I was just over to your place for a lovely dinner party.
That was nice.
It was nice to have you.
We really appreciated that.
It was just you, me, Debbie...
And that...
Mandingo.
Yeah.
And now I know it's Mandingo.
I spent the whole time trying to talk about 42, the movie 42.
I didn't know what to do.
Was that other guy...
Was that Johnny Cockhammer?
Yes.
The other guy that was there?
Yes, yes, Johnny Cockhammer.
The guy who brought the brie.
That brie...
Delicious.
Oh, suspicious.
Well, I thought it was divine.
It paired well with the Pinot Noir, I thought.
So you're going to continue these?
Oh, most definitely.
They're calling me the Philip Seymour Hoffman of the genre.
Well, hopefully you'll meet the same end.
We'll be back with Bob Saget.
Savi Sar...
S-A-V-I-E...
Oh, they'll put it on the screen.
Savi Sar wants to know,
can Dan Harmon freestyle rap when he's high?
Oh, my God.
Can I not?
Yeah, that's an option.
I just...
It's more...
No, I mean, can you find a way to stop me?
Oh, okay.
I'm like David Banner asking,
is there a cure to this science that I'll drop him?
Steve, do you have a beat?
That can keep going.
Yo.
Boom.
Yo.
Yo.
Boom.
Yo.
Green leafin', hangin' with Doug.
I'm like a motherfuckin' being a thug.
I'm sittin' in freak, stylin', smokin' pot.
I fucked your mama in Salem's lot.
There was a vampire.
Came out with teeth.
I said, what the fuck?
I'm in a sprony with teeth.
You're gonna suck my dick like a bowl of soup.
I said, eat my tea.
Drink my poop.
Coz poop is liquid and pee is solid.
When you're like me and your life is squabblin'.
I got health problems livin' in a tent.
Fucked your mama for the rent.
I was wondering.
I was wondering.
I was wondering.
Our guest tonight for the full hour, Bob Saget.
You know him.
But wait, isn't it on the other camera now?
What happened?
It didn't go to the other camera.
Oh, I know.
It's because that, is that red light always on?
Okay.
I thought I was gonna switch.
No.
Okay.
We have it all.
Okay, I'll start again.
Our guest today.
No, wait a minute.
Let me start one more time.
I'm just gonna shift my chair.
Yeah, shift your chair.
Oh, it's so good.
Are you okay?
Yeah, my colostomy bag's all fucked up.
Oh, no.
You heard what happened to me, right?
Should we start?
Sorry.
Our guest tonight for the full hour, as Larry King says, Bob Saget.
You know him from Full House Entourage, his years of hosting America's Funniest
Home Videos,
the voice of Ted on How I May, your mother, and the director of the movie Dirty
Work.
His new book, Dirty Daddy, The Chronicles of a Family Man, is in stores now.
Bob Saget, welcome.
I'm happy to see you, Norm.
It's good to see you, man.
Really happy.
And you've met my trusty sidekick, Adam Egert.
Good to see you, Adam.
Good to see you again.
Do you know Adam?
I do.
We know each other.
From where?
From a comedy store and other comedy-sorted places by trash bins and recording
devices.
Adam Egert used to be the manager at the Tempe Improv, which I considered the
best club in America.
It was one of the best clubs.
Is it again?
Well, forget about that.
Did I know you back in the day?
Yeah, I met you a few times.
You didn't do anything bad with me, did you?
No.
Okay.
No.
Good place to, like, people partied back then.
Remember that?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, anyway, we only have an hour.
All right.
We only have, like, 58 minutes now.
No, no.
Two minutes.
What the hell was that?
So, we were talking right before the break about how you've been a seminal
figure in my life.
Seminal meaning the Indian tribe or having semen?
It comes from semen.
Right.
The word seminal is Latin.
Semino, which is also the root for semen.
It means nascent, beginning.
So, what happened was, when I was a young boy, and this is chronicles in your
book, although you make me older for some reason.
Well, I know you're younger than me.
By many years.
But when I was a very young boy, I was 15, 14, I snuck in to this comedy club
called Hiccups in Ottawa.
Hiccups.
I forgot.
And this was before the comedy boom.
Right.
And there you were, and you had a guitar, and you talked very fast and sang
songs, and then you picked me out of the audience because I had wild hair.
Epstein the animal, like, caught her hair.
That's what you said.
And then you sang a song.
Take your ribbon, you know that song?
Take the ribbon from your hair.
Shake it loose and let it fall.
Shake it loose and let it fall.
And then you're like, and there's Roger the Dodger, and he's going.
And you just talked to everybody.
I was, I guess, afraid to hold still and just let silence happen.
Is that when you were the best?
I've never gotten better than that.
No, but when you first see a comedian in a club, you think he's the best
comedian you've ever seen.
Yes, and were you 17?
I was 14 years old.
Wow, jeez.
I was 22.
You were a kid, yeah.
And who was the first comedian?
Do you remember live?
I mean, was there a club?
Yeah, I was working in Philadelphia.
Murray Langston, the unknown comic, was the first comic.
And I won a radio contest the next night there when I was 17, WMMR in
Philadelphia.
But do you know what I'm talking about?
That when you see a comic live, you think it's the best thing you've ever seen?
The best thing ever.
So you obviously had a stilted view of me.
No.
If you'd have known me years later, you would not have liked me as much as you
had.
Well, perhaps.
I don't know.
You can't know that.
No, you can't.
But you were fantastic, you know?
You were super fast, incredibly witty, quick, and you dealt with the audience
almost constantly.
You know what?
And you played the guitar.
Why don't you play your guitar anymore?
I do.
Oh, you do?
You still do?
I do.
I did a special last year.
I was nominated for a Grammy, but Kathy Griffin won.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
But he's good, so.
But I, oh, never said that.
But yeah, I still do music.
I'm not very good at it, but I never grew quite past the amount of chords you
heard me play.
No, no, but you do it, it would help the comedy, the flow, the timing.
It's fun to do it.
You were incredibly fast, I remember.
Well, you were really nice.
Right?
Yeah.
Did you slow down, or are you still that fast?
A little bit.
A little bit to try to listen.
When you go on stage, do you have an idea of what you're going to say?
I have a, like a, well, you have a, you do it in a list way?
This is what I do.
I have, like, punch lines, and then I ramble around.
Knowing I have real strong punch lines, I ramble around.
Right.
Until I get to the punch lines, because I find if I do it word for word, which
I started,
when I started, I did that, it just sounds rote.
Yep.
And it's sort of like, you know when you repeat a word over and over again,
and you forget what it means, kind of?
A lot.
Yeah, so it was like that.
So now I ramble around, knowing I can hit a punch line.
It's a journey.
You're getting somewhere.
Yeah, yeah.
I do the same thing.
I have a few hundred things that I know I want to do that hour.
Yeah.
The last half, if I'm doing a show show somewhere, I'll do, like, a half hour
of music at the end.
So I kind of know that.
Yeah, yeah.
That becomes music.
But the first-
And that's great.
Ending with music is fantastic.
You could juggle or swallow a sword, or that would be good.
Anything that's different, because all my jokes are equal.
No, you do different.
You weave them different.
You peter out.
Not necessarily.
I've seen you do.
I tend to peter out.
I've seen you get more graphic.
Sean O'Connor has seen it.
Well, but I've seen you go for, like, 20 minutes, and then the next 20, you get
into a darker
place, which is, for 