Name: Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Kevin Nealon (S01E07)
Uploaded: 2013-05-07T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Kevin Nealon (S01E07)' from Norm Macdonald Live on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-05-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Kevin Nealon (S01E07)' from Norm Macdonald Live on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-05-07. Transcript available.

Norm Macdonald Live w/ Guest Kevin Nealon (S01E07)

hello everyone
norm mcdonald here with a message about audible.com audible is the internet
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norm live
for your free audio book and now the show
our guest tonight the great kevin nealon an old friend of ours but he's a
vegetarian and here i
have been eating chicken with gravy more gravy than chicken i'll be honest yeah
the gravy was good
it's a kentucky fried chicken which i loved when i was a young boy then when i
grow older it tasted
gross right and now i can't get enough of it since when i don't know last week
when i we did a little
bit where i was supposed to be eating kentucky fried chicken right it was a
little joke yeah and then
so at the end i ate the kentucky fried chicken like one bite now you're hooked
and then after the show
was over i was like where's that kentucky fried chicken everyone else had eaten
it they devoured it
how you doing i'm doing all right yeah how about you man good man i'm excited
oh i know what you're
excited about yeah one week one week until what until my one year of sobriety
yeah he is an alcoholic
there's no shame in it no but uh what what uh but the good thing about it is
you have been sober for
almost a year yeah and in one week you get a chip yep i get a chip and uh and a
piece of cake and a
piece of cake it's symbolic but it's very important yeah my one and you're
gonna get something else too
why i don't want to spoil the surprise or anything but we're all excited around
the podcast here and
everything so we're gonna have a big party for you ah whatever you guys are the
best whatever thanks
i mean i mean it's that you did it actually for this long frankly because this
has been a tough year for
you yeah you know we can't go through everything because uh of the son of sam
law no we can't go
through everything that you've been through but you were working at the at the
world famous comedy
store and then you lost your assistant manager and then your day manager you
had to fill in for the
rest of them and then you had trouble with uh women problems you know yeah and
uh all sorts of things
and then of course the podcast came and so you're working now at the world
famous comedy store and doing the
podcast and you're not used to be on tv and that's causing you stress and you're
not sleeping at all
and so it's an amazing fact that you've kept sober because i understand people
go back to the booze
when they have trouble with it it's tough thank you for noticing it is tough we
work hard and people
don't know that you work hard on this podcast yeah it appears i do very little
it appears bigger but
that's the uh the beauty of it isn't that the artlessness of art you don't know
what the
fuck that means no but uh like think of last night we were working like hell on
these blue joke cards
with jokes writing jokes all night yeah yeah these aren't from steve o'donnell
no so we were up all
night and uh we were in the edit bay and stuff like that and uh we uh it's like
it reminds me of the
old days of saturday night live that's why i like it yep stay up all night and
uh and we have a little
couch there right where we crash out we just take shifts there if we're too
tired we crash out it's
exhausting work but we we try and have fun we keep it light like last night uh
brent and i pulled that
that prank on you oh yeah it wasn't funny yeah it was a little funny not funny
at all uh i beg to differ
we have video beg to differ is a thing that uh mostly gay men say
and there's nothing wrong with being gay i mean we've learned that this week in
the world of
basketball yeah we've covered that over and over again regardless i think it's
funny brent thought
it was funny let's let the people at home decide let the people at home decide
yeah that's worked so
far it's gonna work well for me but i think it's i think it was a hilarious
prank it was a stupid
prank it was funny let's let the people at home let's show the let's show the
clip of uh the prank
okay so norm fell asleep we're totally gonna prank him it's the classic shaving
cream and feather prank
let's go
he's he's going to put the shaving cream on his hand now and then and now i'm
gonna go in with the feather
we got you good what the fuck was that shaving cream
we got you good no it's a stupid prank or whatever it was funny yeah but i
pulled a prank on you me and
brent you don't even know about that you do it yeah yeah you guys what'd you do
you watch what did you
do watch this man what okay we're ready to pull the classic vodka and funnel
prank
yeah you swallow that you you drink that down you don't
fucking spit that out yeah you like it you drink it what the fuck what the fuck
it
it's just like over it was always a week away i was i was a week away what
about you and your stupid
fucking shaving freak fucker you think i like the taste of anyway there's more
we have more video of you
what is this this is you this is you for norm mcdonald here and this is my
guest uh tree
i gotta call my sponsor we got a sponsor no no no my sponsor argus argus hamilton
oh that's
guy you're you're my sponsor explain to the folks what a sponsor is he's
supposed to help me uh stay
off the booze yeah his name's argus hamilton he's a great guy yeah he's a great
guy he's from the
comedy store i want to tell you a little uh secret i found out about argus hamilton
what he was a huge
fucking drunk too you take my advice i don't drink i'll help you out you know
what i say oh fuck that is
there any more that vodka left no you don't want vodka come on man one day at a
time oh fuck that
shit one day at a time you've been off now how long of an hour yeah about an
hour apparently yeah well
it's just one day at a time one hour at a time no it's over and i'm gonna tell
you i'm gonna give you
something a little piece of i'm gonna give you something that'll help you get
through this anytime you
think you want a drink right yeah is that what i think it is i don't know do
you think it's
it's cocaine yep well you're partly right it's a cocaine and it's it's also a
lot of baby laxative
so you might watch it it burns like hell just a couple just give me a couple
couple minutes yeah
i'll be be careful because it burns like hell when yeah yeah yeah yeah uh-huh
we'll be back with kevin nealon
we're back and we are with kevin nealon the amazing kevin nealon i felt guilty
doing that big chicken thing because in the midst of it i remember that you're
a vegan or a vegetarian
i don't care what anybody else eats anybody have a cigarette
you don't care what anybody else eats so you're not ethically against it it's
just a health thing
um no it's it's not even a health thing for me i just don't like the shape of
it that's all
the shape of meat yeah no it's for ethical and health reasons and but i don't
like to impose upon
other people i usually lead by example yeah that's a good idea yeah it's like
the christians when they
impose their beliefs upon people like like i'm a christian right i don't like
that are you a christian
yes do you go to do you watch the gladiators and things like that what the fuck
does that mean
christians no i just go to fucking military funerals and go fucking faggots no
no no no no
no you haven't changed one bit no no really no listen how much fun was it just
hanging out
it was fun but let me say so i don't think i remember the westbro back but no i
what do you
care what people say i don't uh i don't even though i believe jesus is the only
way to heaven
i don't tell other people because personally i don't give a if they get to
heaven like i think
you go to church yes i go to church but my idea of heaven is being up in a
cloud with a harp and
shit and watching all my friends being raped by the devil this guy goes to
church's chicken
that's about it but what were you gonna say i was gonna say that i don't mind
church uh anymore because
when i go i pretend i'm jesus while i'm there yeah and it's just everybody's
talking about me
i think that's nice that's nice i could do this for another hour you know what
i'm saying that's a
great idea take a break yeah take a break stay around oh stay in here okay okay
i thought you'd take
a break did some of my eyes say we should take a break yeah yeah you ever go on
a talk show with
yeah i've seen you on before but when you're talking to the host let's say i'm
the host and they're
going like the things i've never like this you're talking to me you're the
guest on the talk show
host and then they're looking off at the camera game oh that's the worst while
you're talking yeah yeah
while you're telling is that right is that right all right we're gonna we're
gonna take a break
yeah as i'm barbara walters never listens to me i have to talk to sherry shepard
fortunately we share
views on dinosaurs but i can never get that lady uh the old lady what's your
dream view
the show the view yeah the guest what four or five ladies would you want in
there oh that's a great
question um susan yegwick that's your wife you didn't even recognize her name
it's your it's your betrothed my betrothed i recognize your name no i would
like to see
who do i like on that show that's good coffee where's our waiter god i'd like
to get a coffee
i don't know that's a good question though thanks remember when you had that
show do you still have that show at the laugh factory yeah every tuesday i
enjoy that show
did you ever do that because on tuesday for a long time i would drive by the uh
laugh factory and say john lovitz so i'd go i know what not to do on tuesday
but then you came and i said i guess go see uh neilan and then i found out you
you do a talk show
as well as a great it's not really a talk show it's it's new material night
where comics come in
they do about seven minutes of new material supposedly they don't always do new
material
because they get a lot of laughs that's when i know it's old material exactly
and then i come
up and i just we try to jam some more on their topics to try to come up with
new material yeah that
sounds fun it sounds fun you have some favorite comics that have done it like
uh no i don't enjoy
any of them got it they're not that good actually no there's a lot of it i like
about the laugh factory
it says god says uh when a guy dies yeah like didn't a comic die recently like
uh jonathan uh
jonathan winters so then they'll say make up make god laugh what does it say
make god laugh jonathan
winters jonathan winters make god laugh yeah so anyways one time i was talking
to jamie masada who's the
owner of the the laugh factory and i said that's nice you put names he goes i
only put names of people i
can't do an impression on him he says i only put names of people that have
performed at the comedy
store a comedy at laugh factory so then one time i'm driving right and uh it
said uh bob hope make
god laugh so i stopped at him like hey jamie bob hope never played the fucking
laugh factory and he's
like oh yeah i'm like what and he's like one time he came in man and he said to
me uh can i do five
minutes i say can you do five minutes you bob hope is he chinese i know i can't
do him every time i do
him people say that sounds like a chinaman and i go that's not a nice thing to
call asians
you know why do people do that i understand but you know what it is nice of him
to put that up there
and the only reason i'm doing that on tuesday nights is to get my name up there
i usually never
show up you think it's nice that they say make god laugh no i'm saying to get
your name up on
mark marky on sunset you know i always wanted my name on the on the comedy
store why don't you come
down into the store i've done it a lot this guy's