Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Sean Donnelly - Hitting on the Bartender
Uploaded: 2020-03-16T02:39:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Sean Donnelly - Hitting on the Bartender' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Sean Donnelly - Hitting on the Bartender' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-16. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Sean Donnelly - Hitting on the Bartender

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast,
Are You Garbage?
I'm your host, H. Foley. Sitting to my immediate left is the fucking brains
behind the operation.
He's the Tony Mantoya of the podcasting world. He put this whole thing together.
My number one, ladies and gentlemen, gonna hit you with a little bit of
business, Kevin Ryan, everybody.
Can't be telling them what they need to know.
I'm excited and offended by that intro. Happy to be here, everybody.
Real quick, thanks for tuning in. Thanks to everybody that left reviews and
shared and everything like that.
We really appreciate it. Thank you. Awesome.
We are going to get to the game in a minute, but first I want to introduce our
guest this week.
Super excited to have him here.
Ladies and gentlemen, check this out. Ready?
This guy has not only been on The Late Show once, but he's been on it twice.
Once with David Letterman, once with Stephen Colbert.
He's been on Conan. He's been on Last Comic Standing.
This guy's got a fucking Comedy Central half hour.
He's going to be on the new season of The Last OG.
He's got a brand new show on Sirius called Celebrate and went to the Combine in
the NFL last year.
Broke every fucking record.
Told him to fucking stick it.
I'm staying with comedy.
Ladies and gentlemen, Sean Donnelly.
Yeah.
The big dog's in the billow.
Happy to be here, fellas.
Buddy, that is a resume.
The only question is, is he garbage?
Am I garbage?
And I say, I've been thinking about this all morning.
I say no.
Sounds like a long day for you.
Is there a...
We're going to play a game.
We're going to play a game.
Yeah, I know.
Is there a situation where somebody turns out not to be garbage?
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
For sure.
So far in this endeavor, no.
We had Mike Cannon.
We had Nate McIntosh.
I saw Mike.
Canadian garbage.
Yeah, but Nate grew up as garbage, no longer garbage.
Exactly.
So you can phase out of garbage.
You can turn to garbage.
Okay.
But I also, I'm not sure.
I want to know what you think.
You, if you think you are, because growing on paper, you got a couple of, a
couple of blemishes.
You know what I mean?
Here's the thing.
He's old school Irish.
You're an old school Irish.
We think we're Irish.
This guy's fucking Irish.
I am pretty Irish, but I'm, yeah.
You got Long Island.
Long Island, yeah.
That's a fucking, I mean, dude, is that...
Red flag!
Long Island, like, I understand there's nice...
Sir, we got one on the radar.
This guy's from Long Island.
He ain't one of us.
Long Island.
What about your attempt to escape where you're from?
Yes, yes, yes.
I don't think I'm not, I'm not garbage anymore.
I still have garbage qualities, but, like, growing up, we were pretty trashy.
I'm garbage.
He's still, he's still through it.
I'm sneezing my hand, wiping my hand on my sweatpants garbage.
See, that's more Irish than me.
You're a shanty Irish.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's a dainty, dainty people.
Wait, so let me ask you this.
Sure.
But, like, blue collar as well.
Blue collar as well.
Blue collar upbringing, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, my dad was a jail guard at Rutgers Island.
Does that...
That's...
I don't know.
That's just...
That's fucking badass.
Probably never used moisturizer once in his life.
Never?
No.
Not even...
No, no way.
And I've only used it maybe three times.
And every time he felt like a lady.
I'm like, what is this, a spa day?
I gotta go to confession.
What is it, my birthday?
What's going on here?
You hear Sean's putting lotion on now.
I hear the Donnelly boys using hairspray.
His mother must be so embarrassed.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I come from a place where it'd be like, weird to use lotion and weird to go to
therapy.
And now I do both.
Do you know what I'm saying?
You can't escape...
You try to escape it, I guess.
You try to.
I get...
Yeah, well, I don't know.
Like, I have a lot of family members and a lot of people like Rose that just
lean the fuck
into it.
And they're like, this is what I am.
Like, there's no...
You know what I mean?
I'm joining the fucking union.
I'm getting a show house.
You know, all that shit.
I was an inch away from being that dude.
I was that dude, and then I kind of...
You still are.
I guess you can't...
If you escaped your background totally, I think you're kind of a piece of shit.
Do you know what I mean?
Yes, of course.
If you cut your...
If you cut it off completely...
Oh, of course.
And you're one of the people that takes dialect classes and get rid of your
accent.
Huh?
What did you say?
Whatever.
What are you talking about, Mr. Donnelly?
One of these people that just gets rid of whatever accent they have in the
front of them.
Oh, man.
That's fucking crazy.
Yeah.
So I feel like that can...
If you're shaking everything from your past, you don't...
Sure.
You kind of don't deserve everything that's happening.
I don't think I shook everything.
I think I...
Unless you have like a...
Sorry, I'm going to interrupt you.
But unless you have like a sleeper's background.
You know what I mean?
Something like that.
Yeah, you really...
You know what I mean?
If you're fucking...
If you ever killed a guy with a hot dog cart, yeah, you can fucking...
You can shoot for the stars there, pal.
Julia Roberts from Sleeping With The Enemy had a reason to fucking change her
accent and
move to Charlestown.
Yeah, absolutely.
Sure, sure, sure.
Just Affleck from the town.
Yeah.
Just robbing back.
Dude, speaking...
I was reminded...
Speaking of accents, we were in Philly.
Philly has...
You know, it was known for their fucking...
Philly, Long Island, you know...
It's all the same, yeah.
We should talk about that, though.
What do you think's the trashiest?
Austin's tough, but it's also...
See, it's always like the outskirts...
Staten Island is pretty garbage-y.
Staten Island's tough.
And I was born there.
Wait, Staten Island's different to New York?
The accent...
But I mean, it's like Manhattan...
Oh, you mean...
The Manhattanites don't have the accent.
No.
You know what I mean?
It's the outer, like...
But same with Philly.
Like, if you grew up in Center City, you don't really have that thick.
It's like Northeast, Delco, you know.
It's like the surround...
It's always like the more impoverished surrounding areas.
Yeah, and that's Long Island, too.
The farther you go out of Long Island, the more...
You know what comes out?
Dude, that's another world out there sometimes.
Dude, I was out there once, and this actually makes no sense.
I was at a Burger King in, like, Satalkit, or, like, whatever it was called.
Like, way out of East...
Well, that's not the social echelon.
It's not like you went to the fucking museum.
Yeah, you weren't at the plaza, dude.
Come on.
But what happened was the girl behind the counter had, like, what sounded like
a Southern...
Like, it was that...
Dude, it gets that thick.
It gets that thick.
I used to have it really bad.
It's gotten way better since I've moved up here, and I just...
What he's doing...
What he's doing later?
He's going down here, you know, like, over on Street Road, two for one, you
call it.
It's all night long.
My six-year-old niece will say something sometimes, and I'll literally just be
like, ugh.
Well, people used to come up to me and go, what part of the South are you from?
I used to work...
What?
Yeah, I worked at Macy's in Center City.
That's a racist.
I was saying the N-word a bunch.
No, they were...
And people were like, what part...
Where are you from?
I'm like, Philadelphia.
They're like, no, originally.
I'm like, no, Philadelphia.
And they're like, oh, I thought you were from the South.
It's got, like, a weird draw to it.
It does have a weird draw to it.
But this one time, we were walking down the street in Philly.
We were down there doing shows, and remember with the little girls?
Doing shows.
Doing shows, yeah.
Doing shows.
When I go back, it's like you start dropping your R's, you know what I mean?
Hanging your A's.
So, we were down there, and the girl was talking.
She was walking in front of us.
She goes, hey, mom.
Remember when we...
Yo, mom.
It was yo, mom.
Remember when we went to the aquarium and saw the hippo poop in the water?
And I was like, what?
I was like, you need to be the mayor of Philadelphia right now.
That's a fucking trap.
Yo, mom.
Yo, mom.
Yo, mom.
See, Long Island, if you have it, it's how you say where you're from.
So, like, for me...
Where are you from in Long Island?
No, no, I mean just saying Long Island.
Oh, Long Island.
So, you say Long Island, you say it as one word that you're from.
Long Island.
Long Island.
Philadelphia.
People say Philadelphia.
The Philadelphia Eagles.
Oh, do they really?
The Philadelphia Eagles.
It's all mumbled together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eagles.
Eagles.
I'm from Nassau County.
I'm from by, like...
I found this out last night.
Nassau County is the nice one, right?
Yes.
I was talking about this the other night with somebody.
There's Nassau and Suffolk?
Yeah, but Suffolk...
Put it this way.
Suffolk is so bad that Hamptons wants to break free from Suffolk like it's
Quebec.
Trying to shake it.
The Hamptons wants to be their own county because of how shitty Suffolk is.
They should.
I mean, they probably put all the money into it.
Well, the Suffolk cops are, like, the second highest paid cops in the country.
Because of the Hamptons?
Because of the Hamptons, yeah.
Wow.
It's pretty crazy.
So if you're, like, in the Hamptons, you're, like, either somebody who's from
somewhere
else and your family owns a house out there.
Sure, sure, sure.
But if you're from Suffolk, you are Suffolk.
You're trapped.
Yeah, it's your...
Yeah, there's nice areas.
Of course.
Yeah, but, like, you know, most of the time it's, like, it's a thing, man.
And it's also, like, when I go out and do the clubs out there, I'm, like, this
is
part of me.
Sure.
Like, you know it.
Well, it's Seinfeld sense.
No matter how big you...
He's, like, it's every part of yourself you hate looking right back at you.
Yes.
Not attractive people.
I embraced it a little bit because I went to the brokerage once, but one of the
first
times I, like, closed there, like, headlined there, and I was talking to the
girls after
it, and I was, like, I am so attractive.
I know.
Oh, dude, if you go to the road sometimes, and there's just, like, a trashy
bartender,
I'm, like, you're everything I thought I could ever get, ever.
Like, you are, like, as of now, you've gotten better, you're, like, oh, I'm, I...
But, like, that's the top of the tank.
When you're, if you're just, like, a roofer or a pub, you're living in Long
Island...
You want to take her out of there, you want to give her a better life.
You want to get Janine or fucking Catherine.
You're a Bruce Springsteen song.
Exactly.
You're, like, if I could get her.
If I could get Jamie down there, I'd be at the, behind the bar at the pub.
Oh, my God.
See, that's, like, if you get a hot bartender when you live in a small town,
that's it.
I had a hardcore crush on the bartender in my neighborhood.
Oh, of course.
And she's gorgeous.
And she's so cool.
And I, like, for years, my early 20s, I was, like, I'm in love with you.
I'm, like, in my head, I'm, like, oh, my God, I want to marry this bartender.
Dude, we always just, we used to go to the pub.
It was the pub, you know, in our hometown after, like, we got out of college
and stuff.
And, like, we were, it's, like, where the locals go.
Yeah.
And every, like, year there would be, like, a new fucking, you know, smoke show
small town girl in there, you know, fucking slinging your bud lights all night.
And every time.
We're in, like, a tight referees uniform.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, how you doing, sweetie?
And you're, like, oh.
Just a smoke show.
Tan.
Probably got a kid.
The whole, the works.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Got a townhouse a couple