Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Mike Feeney - Suburban Garbage
Uploaded: 2020-04-13T05:00:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Mike Feeney - Suburban Garbage' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Mike Feeney - Suburban Garbage' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-13. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Mike Feeney - Suburban Garbage

Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is R.U. Garbage. I am your host, H. Foley.
This is where we sit down with some of your favorite comedians,
and we find out if they grew up classy or if they grew up trashy.
My co-host coming at you from an undisclosed location down there somewhere
in the southern part of New Jersey, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
Hey, what's up, everybody?
Still down here in the bunker living to fight another day.
You know what I mean? Gathering my canned foods, my cured meats.
We're doing it.
He was the first man on the lifeboat, folks.
Did not wait for women and children. He was out.
Yes. Dude, I had an inside tip from a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy.
And back in, like, you know, early January, he's like, get the fuck out of town.
So I needed his fucking, his insight.
But happy to be here. Thanks for, shout out to all the new listeners,
all the new reviews, all the new subscribers we're getting.
Driven a lot by Luis J. Gomez. We appreciate it.
Make sure you rate, review, subscribe.
You can subscribe on YouTube for all the full videos of the episodes and stuff
like that.
And we appreciate the support, guys.
Absolutely. Thank you so much.
And we got another big get here on the podcast today.
Our good pal, very funny stand-up comedian.
He has an album out right now called Rage Against Your Routine.
He's on the Irish Goodbye podcast.
He performs all over the country.
And let me tell you kids something else, too.
This guy's got a TikTok account with a fucking flamethrower on it.
He's hot on TikTok.
He's big.
Ladies and gentlemen, our pal, Mike Feeney.
Wow, what an intro.
I mean, just, you know, I always know you to be one of the best hosts in terms
of bringing
me up on stage when we, remember when comedy existed?
And then even now, it translates.
Your skills translate very well.
That's right.
I like how you said you're a good host when you bring people on stage, not when
you're
performing comedy.
Listen.
Once your attempt to comedy is through, when you then bring up the other actual
good comedians,
then you're great.
Once you build us up in earnest, we really appreciate it.
I tell you what, I may bomb up front, but I'll never launch an intro, baby.
Yeah, I think it's a tonight show.
I'm waiting for the band to strike up.
Mike Feeney, everybody.
Yeah, I do have some observations right now.
First thing, is your name, is your middle name really James, Kevin?
Yes.
Yeah.
You're really Kevin James.
Is it really?
Yeah.
What are you, fucking shmishmarted?
Of course.
Dude, yeah.
You've been enjoying me as Kevin James Ryan for literally seven years.
I thought it was because of Kevin James.
Yeah, you're just trying to ride that wave.
I'm trying to get into Grown Ups 19.
No, yeah, no, it's Kevin James.
Yeah, Kevin James Ryan.
Wow.
And Foley, if anybody should be going by Kevin James to try and ride the wave,
I feel like you should be the heir apparent, you know?
Paul Blart Mall Cop.
All right.
This time he's an astronaut.
He works in Space Force.
Foley, what I do love about your setup is you're in like pseudo darkness, but
you have
one plant that you're making staring at itself in its own reflection and it's
growing towards
itself.
Do you notice that?
It's very true detective.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I got eagle eyes, baby.
I'm scanning everything here.
Yeah.
I see you checking out the headboard and all that kind of stuff, scoping around.
Oh, that's the headboard.
You got a yoga mat back there.
You got a nice picture, nice dresser, nice bed.
Everything's all set up by my girl.
She does a good job.
This is great.
You got the guitar hanging up, which means I'll never come to a dinner party at
your house.
The good part is, is I'm not, I don't know enough guitar to, I learned like
four chord.
I don't know how to bar chord.
I've hit a wall in my learning and I'm really not breaking through that
threshold.
All right.
That's good.
It seems like you stopped the learning as you, after the purchase, you were
like, all
right, I learned as much as I know I have to buy one.
After that, I'm done.
I can play Free Fallen by Tom Petty and that's all I need, pal.
Because have you ever been over at somebody's house and there's like a little
bit of a party,
some people around, and all of a sudden someone just starts playing the guitar
a little bit
and then all of a sudden they're singing.
You're like, what?
They're missing chords going back.
You're like, come on, dude.
Now, can I throw this out there?
Trying to get coke over here.
Can I throw this out there?
Trying to get fucked up.
There's chicks here, dude.
What are you doing?
Hit the bris with the incubus cover.
What the fuck?
Can I throw this out there?
There's two things.
That only will bother me if the guitarist wants to be the singer and have
everybody stare
staring at him.
I don't mind if a guitarist comes out and has everybody else sing like campfire
style.
Okay.
That's fun.
I'll tell you this.
That might be okay, but this is the adult version of one that's great.
You're at a party and the party has a fucking piano and somebody sits down and
starts fucking
tickling the ivories.
Are you kidding me?
Yeah, but if somebody can play the piano, that's a lot different than some schmuck
trying to
play fucking no woman, no cry on an acoustic guitar.
If you can fucking play the skins, baby, you got talent.
First off, the piano is the only instrument that gets cooler as you get older.
When you're a kid, the piano is a nerd instrument.
Dude, we had one growing up and we were like, I'm like, what the fuck is this?
And now I look at it, I'm like, man, if I could fucking tickle those ivories.
Wait a minute, you had a piano in your house?
Yeah, well...
Not the full one.
You had, like, one that was in, like, a speakeasy, like,
dood-lood-lood-lood, one of those things, like an upright, John.
Yeah, I mean, I didn't have a fucking grand piano in the foyer,
you fucking idiot.
Of course it was a fucking stand-up piano.
What's the fuck kind of question?
Yeah, have you been to the left wing of my home?
Who has a grand piano?
Kippy's, like, Liberace coming down the steps.
Yeah.
Holding a chandelier.
Hello, mother.
But I always wanted to play it, and then...
It was kind of...
It played itself at one point, I remember that, too.
Like, it would just, like...
You could, like, turn it on to play a song, and it would...
You just had a player piano from a mall that you guys stole one time?
What are you, an old western or whatever?
I was dressed as the bartender.
Kippy grew up in a ghost town in the old west.
I was supposed to play piano when I was a kid,
but then my parents started price-checking a couple of pianos,
and that got 86 real quick.
You landed on the recorder real fucking quick.
For six bucks.
Apparently, I wanted to learn how to play piano.
I expressed interest in that,
and my grandmother went so far as to get me, like, a keyboard.
You know what I mean?
Just, like, a keyboard thing, and then I just never learned or tried.
The keyboard was garbage.
The keyboard was really...
We had the Casio keyboard, and, you know, with the button.
You hit that fucking Samba beat?
That's as far as I could go.
Dude, let that Samba beat run?
Woo!
The 90s were a good time.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That was pretty trashy, man.
Because you never...
I never...
Nobody ever had the stand.
You had it on your lap.
Yeah.
The stand was an extra, like, $49.99.
No fucking way was my mom springing for that.
That and the warranty were left at the store.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Dude, I don't know if it's garbage, but I have never bought a warranty in my
life.
No, no.
It's the opposite.
Warranty is garbage.
You think?
Because warranty is a piece of shit trick, so the only people who buy warranties
are poor
trash people who don't know any better.
Okay.
I always felt like it was more of, like, an educated thing with money of, like,
you hedge
your bets.
I'm like, yeah, I'll give you the $39 just in case anything happens.
That's what they want dumb people to think.
Because I had...
This whole time, I've been a fucking genius millionaire over here not buying
warranties.
I had the insurance for the phone for a long time.
What was it called?
Like, insure or something like that, where I paid, like, $50 a year or
something.
And at the end of it, like, when I finally needed it, they were like, okay, you
got to
send us the broken phone, then we'll send you a new phone for $200.
I'm like, $200?
What about the fucking money I've been paying into it?
It's always that way, dude.
We had...
What did we just buy?
I bought...
Oh, so I had, like, a sound bar for my TV for, I think, six...
I had it for six years and one month.
And the warranty expired after six years.
I had a couch that has, like, motorized, like, legs.
Like, it's like, you know, like, the feet will come up.
And the motor on it broke right...
Did you not put gas in it?
What the fuck?
Yeah.
Wait, what?
I picture Feeney, like, I got to take a nap.
Yeah.
I didn't do enough oil changes on it.
But you got robotic furniture?
That's garbage, Feeney.
Well, here's even more garbage.
It broke.
So now one of them is, like, permanently up.
Like, you can try and, like, use your leg power.
But then once you stand up, it kicks back up again.
And we don't want to throw it out because it's a three-seat couch and it's very
comfortable.
And otherwise, it's completely fine.
But they told me that not only is it out of warranty, but that the motor has
stopped working.
So...
And they don't make the part anymore.
So the guy just basically was like, you're out.
It sucks.
I don't know what to tell you.
I was coming in here to defend you as a classy individual.
And then you hit me with that story.
No.
What?
Dude, he's fucking Long Island trade.
I think he has, like, a Mets tattoo or something.
He's fucking trash.
No, I would get Yankees.
First off, Yankees.
Don't ever besmirch my name.
But I would get a Yankees tattoo at all of them multiple times.
Yankees farm team.
That's real garbage.
Yeah, yeah.
You got a triple A team tattoo.
The Scranton-Wilkes-Barre.
Yeah.
Scranton-Thunder.
Yeah, the fucking Iron Pigs from Bethlehem, PA.
Now, I say Feeney's classy, and I'll tell you why.
No.
No way.
Dude, no fucking way.
He's Long Island trash.
Everybody we've had on from Long Island has never made it past, like, the
second question.
And that was literally one of my...
And he just said he's got a broken couch with the legs sticking in it.
Come on, man.
It's a very nice couch.
I should have called you beforehand, told you the 80s.
We should have got our story straight before we went up against Kippy.
You're my go-to guy.
You know that.
He even doubled down on the garbage.
He goes, well, it's a nice couch.
That's a garbage thing.
You don't want to throw out a nice couch, even though it's fucking broken.
And what the fuck is a sound bar?
What's that?
Is that like a Sunday bar?
Sound bar is a very fancy thing to have.
It's because your TV audio is so shitty.
It's like just a sound.
It just plays the sound from your TV and video games.
It's like the thing that goes under the TV or above the TV.
It's like a long sound system.
Like a woofer.
Is it a woofer?
No, woofer is just bass.
Don't keep saying woofer like that.
It's fucking, that was so weird, right?
Is that a woofer?
A woofer?
Is that a woofer?
What the fuck was that?
Did you, literally, what was that?
I've never seen anybody get so weirded out over a word.
I like a woofer.
I don't know what to tell you.
Not at all.
Big woofer guy.
You're not even saying the full word and it's infuriating.
Yeah, that's what's annoying.
You see, that's why.
That's why I don't think he's garbage.
Because he always calls me out of my garbage stuff.
And I think I repulse him.
Fat guys can all other guys fat.
It's not mutually exclusive.
All right.
Well, let's find out.
Let's get into it here.
Let's get into it.
Are you garbage?
We got Mike Feeney on the line here.
As we know, album out right now called