Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Akaash Singh - Texas Trash
Uploaded: 2020-05-11T04:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Akaash Singh - Texas Trash' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Akaash Singh - Texas Trash' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-11. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Akaash Singh - Texas Trash

Hey, what's up, everybody? Welcome to the R.U. Garbage Comedy Podcast.
Please take a second to subscribe to the YouTube channel.
That way you get the episodes as they come out. Thanks a lot.
Welcome to another exciting edition of R.U. Garbage,
the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is R.U. Garbage, the show where we sit down with your favorite comedians
and find out if they grew up classy or if they grew up trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day, beautiful day,
here in Astoria, Queens.
My co-host, hot tail out of town, the first sign of trouble when the Rona came
to town.
He's at an undisclosed location somewhere in southern New Jersey, his mom's
house.
Give it up for Kippy, Kevin, James, Ryan.
My mom's vacation house. It pays to have a little bit of cash, you know what I
mean?
New money, baby, down here in South Jersey, living it up, playing it right, you
know, funnel cake all day,
riding the Ferris wheel, hit the swings maybe, log flume, whatever you need.
I'm your guy.
Thanks for listening, everybody.
Please take a quick second to subscribe to the YouTube channel on iTunes.
You can rate, review.
We appreciate all the comments, everything like that.
And please tell a motherfucking friend.
How about that?
Very nice.
Thank you, Kippy.
Our very, very special guest today.
We're so excited to have him.
Kind of been a mentor to us, going all the way back to the West Village days
here in New York City.
He is an accomplished and very funny stand-up comedian.
You've seen him on Wild and Out, Joking Off, Difficult People, The Leftovers,
Star Talk,
Vidiots, Clickbait, Guy Code, Guy Code vs. Gerclode, all right?
And he is the co-host of the amazing podcast, Flagrant 2.
Ladies and gentlemen, the one, the only, Mr. Akas Singh.
That is the most thorough list of credits I've ever gotten to the point that it
makes me seem way more successful.
I heard a couple of those.
I'm like, I don't even know.
I'm like, Foley might be fucking juicing this list a bit.
Three lines on Difficult People.
I don't even remember some of the other.
Starcross, the Neil deGrasse Tyson show.
I mean, it's crazy.
Clickbait, you were a narrator for 20 episodes.
That must have brought in a couple of fuzzles, you know what I mean?
Yeah, that was great.
I saw that, I was sliding off my seat.
I was like, mm, gosh, I'm looking.
I was making money.
I was on like five, six TV shows.
2018, one by one, they all just got canceled and I just got more and more
desperate.
It's one of the most sad falls from grace I've ever seen and it was mine.
It's always sad when you're in it because of how bad it is.
It's awful.
One by one.
I was like, every show, I'd be like, yeah, I still got all these shows.
And then that one would be gone.
I'd be like, I still got four.
That was good.
Then by some point, I was just there with nothing over the course of nine
months.
Now we all got nothing, baby.
To a degree.
Now Akash is, I see him.
They're breaking the social distancing rules.
Him and fucking, you guys are still recording episodes in the studio.
Yeah, man.
We're essential personnel.
We're media.
Yeah, right.
Fuck out of here.
All over at Schultz Studios.
Yeah.
What are you talking about?
You guys will be bigger than MTV in six months.
You'll be buying MTV in six months.
Thank you, man.
It's probably cheap right now.
Nobody's watching Viacom.
Yeah.
You're an idiot.
You definitely get your hands on Comedy Central, I think.
They ain't doing too hot.
Oh, man.
I'll just sell a special to them and pretend I did it on my own.
Yeah, perfect.
New executive at Comedy Central, Mr. Case Rosso.
Hello, gentlemen.
He brings all the squad in.
Everybody's running shit.
Buddy.
Buddy, show's canceled.
I'm sorry.
Case, I was thinking about doing this show.
Buddy, go nuts.
That's good.
Good stuff.
Akash, we're so happy to have you here on the podcast.
Buddy.
Want to find out a little bit about how you grew up?
I know you're a Cowboys fan.
Yeah, Dallas, Texas.
Technically, the show would be over there because you're fucking garbage.
All right.
And we can say that as Eagles fans.
Okay.
If anybody can judge other fans, it's Eagles fans for sure.
You guys are pure class.
Yeah.
If you think I've never been to a wedding in Philadelphia and people started
chanting, fuck the Cowboys.
I mean, yeah, for sure that happens multiple times.
Remember how there was one scene in Silver Linings Playbook where a
Philadelphia fan who was brown got beat up for being brown by other
Philadelphia fans?
And everybody was like, honestly, give these guys an awesome – I just – I
don't know how things get more realistic.
Yeah, dude.
That's some real shit.
That is real fucking Philly shit.
My wife is – future wife is from Philly.
Her dad is an Eagles fan, but he's sick.
He wears the pug, the turban.
So, I want to take him to a game.
But, like, I definitely won't cheer for the Cowboys if it's a Cowboy game.
I'll be quiet as fuck.
But even then, I'm worried about these animals.
No, you should be all right.
If you put a – he can wear the hat, but he also has to wear a jersey.
If he wears a Wentz jersey, it's all is forgiven.
I'll get him a jersey.
The most racist thing I thought in that scene was the people that were
defending the brown people when – right where the fight was starting
in Silver Linings Playbook?
Yeah.
But one guy yelled, hey, man, leave the Indians alone.
And the way he said that was almost more racist than the guys
wanting to beat him up.
That's as sweet as Philly can be.
Yeah, that's an ally in Philly.
That dude should run for fucking mayor on Philly.
All right, but for the record also, I'm only a Cowboy fan because I'm from
Dallas.
I get why other people hate Cowboys.
Fans that aren't from – like, I get it.
If I was from anywhere else, I would hate the Cowboys.
The thing that I think is garbage is when – and I understand it,
but when people are fans of – and it's all silly,
but when people are fans of teams where they didn't grow up –
Yeah, it's wild.
It's untrustworthy.
I can't trust you as a fucking person.
I mean, it's like – you like the team of your town or nothing.
That's all you get.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like – you meet the guy from Jersey.
He's like, oh, I'm really at the fucking – the San Diego Chargers.
Like, get the fuck out of here.
What are you, fucking garbage?
Especially when they've never been good.
Like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
And they always have, like, some bullshit story.
It's like, well, my dad went on a business trip to San Diego one time,
and he really liked the pizza.
It's like, shut the fuck up.
You know, you're a bad judge of character.
That's like – Chris Cotton was the biggest 49ers fan.
We used to make fun of them because they were terrible the last 10 years.
I remember Cotton was a 49ers fan.
Cotton was a fucking 49ers fan.
And he'd be like, what the fuck do your kid from – black kid from South Philly?
What the fuck do you care about the 49ers for?
Before Kaepernick.
It wasn't like a Kaepernick thing.
No, yeah.
It was – yeah, years, years before that.
And he was too young to remember Montana.
And then I could kind of give it to you.
But either way, garbage doesn't matter.
So you grew up in Dallas.
Are your parents – did your parents come here?
My mom moved here in 68, I think.
She was 14.
That's her listed age.
She actually doesn't know her real birthday at all.
That's wild.
But she was 14.
She was somewhere between 14 and 18, and she came here.
And then when my dad and her got in a range of marriage, he came over, and he
was 24.
So 77, I think, he came over.
Damn.
And they went straight to Dallas?
Straight to Dallas.
And I don't understand.
I think my grandfather lived here for like 10 years before he brought my mom
over.
And then at that point, he had settled in Dallas.
It was cheap.
He had a job, so he brought them over.
And then when my mom and dad got married, you're not going anywhere else.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
And then did you grow up in like a house?
Was it like a suburban house?
Did you grow up in Dallas?
Suburbs, white kids, all of that.
Yeah.
Single homes, did you have a garage?
Yeah.
The next question.
We're in the middle of serious questions here.
This is a fascinating story.
I know exactly where you're about to go with this, Kevin.
Go ahead.
Let's get into it.
What the fuck are we pussying around this?
We just heard immigrated to America, arranged marriage, and here's the first
question.
Go ahead.
Do you have a garage?
Did you have a garage fridge growing up?
No.
No, no garage fridge.
Garbage!
You need a garage fridge.
It's garbage to not have a garage fridge.
No, to not have one.
Yeah.
In that refrigerator should be like sodas, ice pops, things like that.
Beer.
Kind of summer-oriented items.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Who's hanging out in the garage?
You don't hang out in the garage.
That's where you store the excess supplies.
Why don't you keep them in the regular garage?
Your poor ass refrigerator you got in the kitchen.
Because it is kind of trashy.
It always, it's, you never buy two garage, you never buy two fridges.
It's always like an uncle's, or like you find it on the curb.
The trashy thing is, if you've ever had a bag of ice in your freezer, when it
wasn't a party,
and you know you were fucking garbage.
Or you just had alcoholic parents.
Just sitting there like a dirty screwdriver fucking hacking at it.
I want to go back to this.
So your grandfather came here first on your dad's side.
Yeah.
And then you're, so your dad was here.
No, grandfather on my mom's side.
Grandfather on my mom's side.
Because he was like trying to get the money up or whatever story he told us.
And then when my mom got married, she was visiting, and this is crazy actually,
she was visiting India for like a finite amount of time.
And they wanted to get her an arranged marriage to my dad.
But they had to decide in like two days.
My dad didn't even get to, he didn't even know he was getting married until the
day of the wedding.
Everything had to move so fast.
That it was like, yo, she's going back to America tomorrow or whatever.
So we got to get married today.
So my dad is at another family member's wedding in another part of the state.
And then he's like getting fitted for wedding clothes on the way there.
In India or in America?
In India.
And then that's your life.
So she's in India right now.
You guys are going to get married.
You're both going to go to America.
That's how it's going to work.
Your life in India, as you know, it is over.
It's done.
But it worked out.
They fell in love and they like each other and they're still together and all
that?
They're still together.
They like each other well enough.
That's fucking nuts.
That's hardcore.
Was there a big Indian community in Dallas when you were growing up there?
There is now.
When I was, when I was there, they had like a group of friends that I grew up
with that
were all Indian.
They had told me back in the day when you would see another Indian, wherever
you were, you
would like stop what you were doing and go talk to that person and try to make
friends.
Hey, over here, over here.
Let's get coffee.
Straight up.
Like, oh my God, where are you from?
Oh my God.
Like, imagine being American and then moving a fucking, I don't even know.
Yeah.
Antarctica, essentially, because that's what it was like in the seventies,
eighties.
But like, well, if you saw an American speak in English, you'd be like, holy
shit, what's
going on?
Who are you?
Let's be friends.
So they made a circle of friends that still, they're friends this day.
And then all the kids became friends.
Ah, there you go.
Founded friends like that.
And then that's, that's the community I grew up in.
So your mom wasn't born, your dad wasn't born here either, right?
Correct.
So how Americanized was the house gr