Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Funny Fan Questions (2020)
Uploaded: 2020-08-13T01:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Funny Fan Questions (2020)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Funny Fan Questions (2020)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-13. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Funny Fan Questions (2020)

Hey, gang, it's your old pals, Uncle Hank and Kippy.
Just want to thank you for tuning in to Are You Garbage?
Yeah, guys, make sure you subscribe.
That way you get the episode as they come out.
And you can also go to gasdigitalnetwork.com.
Use promo code AYG to get bonus content
and get the episodes before they come out and HD streaming.
Do it.
Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Woo, baby!
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
The show where we sit down with your favorite comedians
and find out if they grew up classy or if they're a complete piece of shit.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a glorious day here
at Gash Digital Studios in the East Village.
Gang, it's fan appreciation day.
All right?
It's fucking bat night.
It's free hot dog night.
Get your bobbleheads, everybody.
That's right.
It's fucking casual Friday.
It's just going to be Uncle Hank and Kippy and the gang.
That's it.
We're going to be reading all the emails.
We're going to be in the live chat.
We're in there right now, baby.
It's going to be a good time.
We want to extend our deepest appreciation to everybody out there for
supporting the podcast.
So this is just for you guys, baby.
We love you.
My co-host is sitting directly across from me.
He's currently in panic mode right now.
Trying to secure an apartment.
It's so bad that he came to me to co-sign where I had to cough up my fucking
tax statement,
my bank records.
I do a lot of shady shit late at night.
This guy's all over me.
Gang, he's everybody's best pal.
Give it the fuck up for Kevin, James, Ryan.
Hey, everybody.
A bit of a tense day here in the war room.
Yeah, put this away, by the way.
Oh, hey, all right.
Hey, covering up.
Get your fucking lease agreements out.
Got your social security number floating around.
Hit the zoo.
Somebody zoom in on that.
Get yourself a pre-owned Civic.
I got enough Nigerian princes on the payroll.
Buddy, I love this shirt, by the way.
No boundaries.
Is that the name of the brand?
That's the name of the brand.
No boundaries.
Where'd you get it?
Woodstock?
That thing is fucking tight.
Smoking doobies.
Listening to Hendrix.
Foley Garcia over here.
Look at him go.
This is my co-host Foley.
Got really into the 60s, and no one ever saw him again.
Far out, man.
Buddy, happy to be here.
Good to see you, pal.
Speak in his shirts.
You need one.
You're trying to take the one off my back.
Buddy, I just threw a Hail Mary for a fucking cosigner.
If anybody in the live chat wants to be a cosigner for an apartment in
Washington Heights,
let a brother know.
Let's get into this real quick.
Let's talk about a little garbage right here.
Hold on.
Let's get some business out of the way.
We got fucking shirts to sell.
We got merch to peddle, baby.
What the fuck are we talking about?
Change that tax form.
What do you mean?
I got merch money coming in.
Let's go.
Yeah, guys.
So we're doing a one-week exclusive sale of, we have four shirts.
We have a Garbagio shirt.
Garbagio.
In black and white.
One in black, one in white.
We also have a clean living shirt.
One in black, one in white.
They're going to be available from August 16th,
and only for one week.
One week, baby.
One week.
You have.
So get those fucking orders in,
because then they're never available ever again.
Fucking going out of business sale.
Everything must go.
All sales final.
Kippy needs gauge.
I'll sell you this shirt, all right?
No boundaries.
It's also at Walmart, by the way.
If you're shopping in the area for big and tall, check it out.
Yeah, guys.
So they'll be available on podcastmerch.com.
That's what it is, right?
Podcast Merch?
That's the name of it?
It's Podcast Merch?
Yeah.
They'll be available on podcastmerch.com for one week only.
Get those crack open to piggy banks.
Head to a coin store.
Do whatever you got to do.
Start rolling, change, what?
We need this!
Sell your Bitcoin, whatever you need to do.
Kippy's getting kicked out of his apartment, for God's sakes.
Things are tough.
When does that start?
August 16th, so Sunday to Saturday will be a one-week run.
Sunday to Saturday.
Very nice.
Check it out.
Yeah, so that's that.
Now, back to the...
All right, so this is how garbage I am.
I had to ask Foley to be a cosigner on the car ride over here.
I almost fell out of the car with this question.
It came out of fucking his.
No one has ever asked me.
And I didn't even qualify, because we just went over my bank statements, and it
ain't good.
Well, hold on.
For the listener, in the car ride down here, Foley's throwing out some roundabout
figures
that sound pretty good.
The things there, there's commas, there's a bunch of zeros involved.
He's talking about offshore accounts and everything.
I got to talk to TurboTax.
Somebody's fucking up over there.
I made 50 grand last year.
I'm telling you.
When the rubber hits the road, he gave me his 2019 fucking tax return.
It was for $14.
I said, buddy, you don't even make the monthly payment.
28 grand is what it says.
I had to talk to this accountant.
Something's fishy.
I don't know what he's doing.
Jesus Christ.
But anyway...
And now you're not going to use it.
Now I'm not going to use it.
He also gave me his...
I needed a bank statement, and it had all of his ATM charges on there.
And let me tell you, Foley has a frequent flyer's card to the McDonald's and
Blue Bell.
Shout out to Tina.
Work in the window.
I love you.
Do they know you're a fucking order when you pull up?
Big man's here.
He's got a new shirt on.
Hey, you want a quick tip for that, by the way?
When you go to the drive-thru so you get fresh stuff, always change something
up a little bit.
Nah, that's a garbage move.
Yeah, that's why I'm telling everybody to do it.
Yeah, I'm trash.
Yeah.
Yeah, you can't order...
You can't go off-menu at a McDonald's.
Yes, you do.
You order a number and keep it fucking moving.
Now, what I do is I'll get...
My usual order, if I'm alone, is two double cheeseburgers and a filet of fish.
Okay?
Two double cheeseburgers and a filet of fish?
Two dubs and a fish.
Take the wax out of your ears, poor guy.
Surf and turf, man.
I like it.
How are the oysters doing?
Yeah, but I get no pickles, no ketchup on the double cheeseburgers, extra
onions, the chopped up ones.
That's a fucking key ingredient at Mickey D's.
I don't know who the fuck came up with that, whether it was Ray Kroc or who,
but the diced onions at Mickey D's are fucking on point.
Yeah.
I get extra of those and a little mac sauce on a double cheeseburger, and I add
pickles to my filet of fish.
Oh, do you?
Get your vegetables in for the day.
And also, nine pounds of fries.
Keep them coming.
Lightly salted.
I'm watching my weight.
No skin on those pickles, huh?
Oh, man.
Off-do.
Going off-menu at a fast food place is pure fucking trash.
That's how you know you get it.
They make it right there.
It's so much fucking better.
Whatever.
So that's where we're at presently.
Yeah, guys, you talk about bottom of the barrel.
We are scraping it.
Whatever.
Mickey D's Surf and Turf.
That's going over well in the chat.
Is it?
Yeah, that might be the shirts next month.
Surf and Turf and Mickey D's.
Oh, that's pretty good.
Shout out to everybody in the chat.
Guys, yeah, this is a very special episode.
Honestly, I mean, from the beginning of this, we've gotten fucking thousands of
submissions for questions.
And we can't always use them based upon where the guest is from.
Some are regional.
Some of them, you know, whatever don't apply.
Some of them just flat out fucking stink.
Racial vernacular.
Yeah, some of them aren't too good.
So, but we've compiled a list.
And if you're in the chat and you have a question, we're definitely going to
get to it.
And also, we have a list of, I don't know, a few hundred that people have
emailed in and we'll pull out the best ones and get to it.
Yes, and if you're listening to this and you're not a subscriber at Cash
Digital, you should.
Because there's a shitload of fucking awesome content on there for, what, seven
bucks a month?
Yeah, and you get like fucking ten years of Legions of Skank episodes.
It's like, come on, what are we doing here?
And so when we do the next one of these, you can be a part of it in the live
chat.
Yeah.
So, it's all good stuff.
All right.
Let's fire off some here.
I got some appetizers.
I mean, everybody, you guys, I mean, you guys knew we were trash coming into
this, right?
You didn't think we were sitting up here on our fucking high horse every week
judging, but we're fucking garbage.
Oh, yeah.
I shop at Walmart.
I eat at Walmart.
I sleep at Walmart.
I get my blood pressure taken at Walmart.
Yeah.
All right.
By the way, I didn't tell you, this is something not garbage.
Uncle Hank, I got health insurance.
Oh, good for you.
Yeah.
There you go.
Geico, no big deal.
Got the general.
I got Metro.
I don't like this.
Metro Plus.
I like a Blue Cross, Blue Shield.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
How'd you get health insurance?
I got an email saying that if you need health insurance, you can sign up.
Was it that Nigerian print?
My deductible's 25 grand.
No, not a bad deal.
All right.
Well, good for you.
I'm happy for you.
I'm going to go to the doctor.
I'm going to get the works.
$2,000 deductible.
I'm getting the full package.
Check the oil, everything.
I figured I need to go to-
Guy needs a new dipstick.
Can I get a new piece put on?
Can we stretch out the bottom half of me a little bit?
I'm going to go to the cardiologist.
I'm going to get a chest x-ray.
I'm going to get-
Also, you know how garbage you are?
You texted me when you got it.
You texted me and Tom Cassidy going, hey, guys, I just want to let you know I
got health insurance.
And we're like-
You're like-
Big deal.
We're like, yeah, okay.
Well, you guys always break my balls about me dropping dead.
I'm letting you know I'm doing something.
Yeah, the doctor's not going to stop that.
I mean, they'll just take care of you once you fall.
A couple of perks, though, huh?
From my bad back.
A couple of school buses, if you know what I mean.
I was in a car accident.
Used to drive a plow.
Go in there in a wheelchair, fucking pretending I'm blind.
Oh, man.
What do we got?
All right, let's get into it.
A couple of easy peesies just to start it off.
A little, you know, get the gears going.
It is fun that, because, you know, sometimes people hit us up directly, you
know, on Instagram or whatever.
Is that we think the same-
They think the same way we do.
Oh, yeah.
A lot of the questions, like, oh, yeah, we've already asked that, or that's
pretty, you know, that's great.
Sure, well, some of them, actually, one came in on fucking Twitter.
I forget what it was, but I did write it down.
One came in on Twitter, and I had a private, I didn't want to like it or
respond to it, because I didn't want you to see it.
I'm like, I've been wanting to ask this, I've been wanting to ask Foley this
for fucking months.
Is it, will I co-sign an apartment for you?
Did you make $1,200 last year?
I felt so bad, man.
The disappointment in your face when I was looking that over.
You were like, oh, well, all right.
You're like, yeah, I made fucking $400,000 last year.
I was feeling really good in that car ride, man.
I was feeling like a million, helping my buddy out.
I got a money market account while push comes to shove.
He asked me for $10.
Yeah, my dad told me the other day, he's like, you got to start a Roth IRA.
I was like, I don't know who the fuck that is, but he ain't getting a dime on
my money.
Oh, Roth IRA.
I don't know much about him, but I know that's the thing.
That's what you got to do.
You're going to be homeless in a week.
What do you think?
I'm taking my financial advice from you.
I got someone's taking care of it.
There's a little bit of quiche in my family.
I called my rich u