Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Drop Out Trash (2020)
Uploaded: 2020-08-20T01:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Drop Out Trash (2020)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Drop Out Trash (2020)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-20. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Drop Out Trash (2020)

Hey, gang, it's your old pals, Uncle Hank and Kippy.
Just want to thank you for tuning in to Are You Garbage?
Yeah, guys, make sure you subscribe.
That way you get the episode as they come out.
And you can also go to gasdigitalnetwork.com.
Use promo code AYG to get bonus content
and get the episodes before they come out and HD streaming.
Do it.
Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Ooh, baby, a little bit of a late start here.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
Well, apparently not almost everybody.
This is Are You Garbage, gang,
the show where you sit down with your favorite comedians
and find out if they grew up classy or if they're complete trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you
on a little bit of a livid day here at Gas Digital Studios.
You got a couple of Irish guys that don't process things well.
We just got stood up.
We just got stood up for the first time, gang.
We apologize to everybody watching live right now
on Gas Digital Network and in the live chat.
First time it happened, we were holding out,
trying to get them here, and nothing.
It's fucking me and Kippy sitting here with our corsages
and our moms waiting to take pictures.
Speaking of Kippy, Kevin James Ryan, everybody,
give it up for my co-host, coincidentally by the same name.
Hey, gang, what's up, everybody?
Thanks so much for tuning in.
The guests, huh?
Who needs them?
Jesus.
Hit the fucking bricks with this shit.
Getting stood up.
Second time, too.
Just going to say with this individual.
Listen, for the listeners, too, by the way,
me and Foley put on a good show for you guys.
Oh, happy-go-lucky fucking fatso and a bald man.
When the cameras go off, we got a little bit of an attitude problem,
which this is a thorn in my side,
but I'm trying to be a bigger Kippy and move on.
That's the, yeah, it was really hard not to send a pass
We play it like fucking morning zoo DJs on here.
Waka-waka, boom, boom, boom, got your nose.
You never loved me!
You dumb whore!
I'm a idiot!
But, yeah, what's up, guys?
Happy to be here.
We're going to do a fucking,
we're going to do another fan question episode
because we have so many,
because you guys are so fucking awesome,
you've been writing them in like crazy.
So we have a whole fucking list of them that we'll get into.
We appreciate the sport.
First things fucking first.
All blood feuds aside,
forget about the fucking guests not showing up.
We're selling fucking merch, baby.
Yeah, guys.
We've got hot tees.
Hold on, we got an issue here.
We got a tech issue.
Cole, you unplugged.
Yeah, there you go.
Nope, oh my God, there we go.
We're in.
Johnny on his spot.
I tell you what, thank you, B, our fantastic producer.
I tell you what, when it rains,
it fucking pours around here.
Next thing you know, I'm going to have a fucking heart attack.
Then Kippy's going to be doing the show by himself.
Can't get right over here.
At this point, if I had a hearty right now,
I go down.
Are you continuing?
What?
Get the ads in real quick.
Check out Yo Kratom, everybody.
Got to wet my beak one last payday.
Gang, the t-shirts are fucking moving.
Make sure you fucking get yours one week, one week only.
Yes.
So you only have a couple more days when you hear this.
Yes.
On a Thursday.
This comes out on Thursday.
Yes.
You only have Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
They're done on Saturday.
I don't know what time.
So don't wait till fucking Saturday.
They might pull it at noon.
They might pull it at 3 p.m.
I don't fucking know, but don't fucking wait for it.
Who knows when the feds are going to pull a no-knock?
You know what I mean?
Get the merch out the door.
You get a friendly judge.
You get a signature on that thing.
Been watching a lot of billions.
Shout out to Axel Rod.
You got to pay off the wise men like in training day.
Go get the fat man in Kippy.
So guys, you can go to podcastmerch.com.
You can get the Garbagio t-shirt or the Clean Living t-shirt.
They're both available in white and black.
And fucking so many people have fucking hit us up already.
So many people have bought them.
We got the numbers in today.
It's a good week.
Thank you.
Shout out to everybody.
But also, these are never going to be available again.
They're only available for this week.
Out back.
Here we come.
And also, go subscribe on YouTube and iTunes.
But we're fucking back, baby.
Rubber band, man.
You can't hold me to fuck back.
Let's go.
That's right.
We're feeling good.
This is actually going to work out.
We're going to have a good time together.
Me and Kippy haven't seen each other in a couple of days.
You've been off fucking hiking somewhere.
Yeah.
What?
Haven't you?
No.
I was with you on Friday.
I got blackout drunk for my birthday party.
What are you talking about?
By the way, Foley, it's not garbage.
He comes in.
He rolls in fucking late wearing sweatpants like a fucking.
Wait, where?
To the party?
Yeah.
I was fucking business casual.
I had just.
A little emphasis on the casual.
I had shorts on, though.
Yeah.
I tell you what, man.
He comes in and buys me and my wife a shot of Jameson like we're two fucking
sailors at
the end of the bar.
Who's wife drinks Jameson like that?
You say, hey, sugar tots, take a warm whiskey.
I figure whatever trash bag you latched up with down the aisle probably enjoys
a good warm
whiskey on a Friday night.
I look over, like, these are from Henry.
I'm like, what?
The fuck's going on here?
I'm like, for real, you're like, and then you're like putting your wallet away.
Yeah, if it used to.
If it used to.
Like, you're the.
I'm at another table with Joe Pesci and Don Rickles.
Ask me to be christened his kid.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Bit of a bit of a.
It was a good birthday.
Happy birthday, buddy.
Thanks, buddy.
Thanks for coming out.
I almost bailed you out last week, and then I wanted to cap the weekend off
because I
couldn't help you out with the lease.
I figured, you know, wet your whistle a little bit.
Not to mention, they got this rule in New York City for all my fellow dirtbags
out there
that when you order liquor, when you order some booze, they got to give you a
food item.
You got to buy a meal.
Yeah, not a meal.
That's what they're considering.
I didn't see any coleslaw and pickles with my hot dog on Friday night, I'll
tell you
that.
But that Patty's putting out a mean steamed hot dog.
Yeah.
No sauce, no nut.
You didn't need anything.
No, I think they were Hebrew Nashies, or I don't know what they were, but they
were.
Hey, let's leave politics out of this.
They were kosher, I'll tell you that much.
Kippy likey.
Oh, buddy.
Yes.
Happy birthday, my friend.
Thanks, pal.
I appreciate that.
You know what I wanted to bring up?
What's that?
Speaking of the fans and everybody, something that fucking took Twitter by
storm this week,
hot button issue, was fucking brushing the teeth in the shower.
We got a video from a listener that was actually brushing his
chompers in the shower.
Looked like a clean cut guy.
I don't know if I've ever gotten the official ruling on you, what you think
about.
What do you think I think about that?
Well, I'll tell you what.
If you knew what I did in the shower.
You wouldn't want your mouth anywhere in that fucking building.
No way.
Dude, if you're brushing your teeth in the shower.
No, that's a cool thing.
I'm sorry.
What?
Yeah.
No, let's get it clear.
You are 100% pure cut Colombian garbazio.
Dude, that fucking, that's gross.
Some people leave their toothbrush in the shower.
Yeah.
You're talking to one right now.
Crossing the nice wooden table.
Oh, dude.
While you're fucking, you know, people are in there with, you know, cleaning
their fucking
butt cracks and shit.
I'm not fucking brushing my teeth at the YMCA.
It's me and my girl.
Oh, a couple of drops.
We can have a special guest.
Look out.
The kid's behind the ones and twos.
Yeah, dude.
No, it's fucking gross, man.
That's insane.
So what'd you, that's like licking the fucking, the floor of the tub.
Stop with that shit.
No, that's what it's like.
No, it's not.
The particles in the air.
You sit.
Don't you feel fresh when you come out of the shower after you brush your teeth?
No, I've never done that.
I never will do that.
Do you pee in the shower?
Yeah.
What am I?
Do you masturbate in the shower?
Today?
For sure.
See?
Ew.
Gross.
Boo.
Yeah, that's why I'm not brushing my teeth in there.
That's where you do your wet work.
You know what I mean?
What are you, a conditioner guy?
Kippy's kids are on the wall.
Meanwhile, you're fucking getting the, you're getting your bicuspids.
Working up my fucking chompers.
Yeah.
What do you use in the shower?
Are you a conditioner guy to pull your little?
No, I just go, just high quality H2O.
Running through the Brita first?
You have sparkling in the back?
No, you just get that.
You get it as hot as you can, real steaming.
I don't know if we've ever discussed this.
Burn the tip off.
It's like you got to sterilize a needle before you take the splinter out.
You know what I mean?
Have you ever heard like old school guys saying that if you're ever worried
about like STDs
or something like that, as soon as you get done having sex, to dip your dick in
like
a bunch of alcohol?
Old guys are your dad.
I think you kept your mom so long.
It's a clean whistle.
Kept him off the pap smear, you know what I mean?
No, that's what I know like porn stars do that before.
They like wipe down with alcohol and it'll burn if you have any nicks or cuts
or little
holes or sores.
And let you know what's up.
Yeah.
Don't do it to mine.
Kibbe's got a couple of fucking rumble strips on the side.
This kid's all Pringles over there.
What do you think?
I wanted to ask you.
What do you think is the trashiest of all toothpaste?
Because that video made me think of it.
I don't know.
I go.
And I'm curious what he was using.
He looked like an Aquafresh guy to me.
Can I just say that?
Aquafresh is what if you're going name brand, that's OK.
I would say Aquafresh.
I would say I don't think they still make it.
Yeah, trust me, they do.
The bottom of the bar.
I don't know.
Aquafresh at least has some flavor.
It's got some tang.
It's got some good marketing behind them.
I'll get on board for sure.
Those guys over at Grant and Wheeler, they know how to sell some paste.
But if you're using fucking aim, dude, that shit might have.
That's like fucking whiteout, that stuff.
What's going on with that?
Did you ever sleep at a fucking uncle's house and he bust out the aim like you're
in fucking
nom?
Dude, that shit's.
I don't even think they sell full tubes of it.
They sell it like half empty, rolled up.
Yeah, you either get the travel size or industrial.
There's nothing in between.
I always thought close up was pretty trashy.
I don't think that would never came across my radar.
I imagine your mom was used when your mom was single and hitting the mixers and
the happy
hours.
She was using close up.
No, we were.
No, we were.
We always do.
We've been a crest.
Trust me.
She had a separate cabinet for Friday nights when she went out and left you and
your bozo
brother with pizza money.
No, you know, it was real nice, though.
I'm talking you want to separate the fucking the men from the boys.
Wait, hold on.
What is the class from the garbage toothpaste?
I'm talking there's a fucking upper echelon up there that'll knock your socks
off.
Hell of an artist to Rembrandt.
Oh, who's got that?
Dude, that's like fucking like the freezer section at Whole Foods.
Dude, that's Rockefeller stuff.
That shit is.
I don't even know anybody that's ever used it.
I remember my buddies growing up, his dad had and we weren't like you slept
over.
You were not allowed to touch his shit.
You had to use the like his the Rembrandt was it was like a fucking only break
during
an emergency case of a case above the mirror.
That doesn't do it for me.