Name: AYG Comedy Podcast: Kyle Kinane - Midwest Garbage
Uploaded: 2020-09-07T01:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Kyle Kinane - Midwest Garbage' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-09-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG Comedy Podcast: Kyle Kinane - Midwest Garbage' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-09-07. Transcript available.

AYG Comedy Podcast: Kyle Kinane - Midwest Garbage

Hey, gang, it's your old pals, Uncle Hank and Kippy.
Just want to thank you for tuning in to Are You Garbage?
Yeah, guys, make sure you subscribe.
That way you get the episode as they come out.
And you can also go to gasdigitalnetwork.com.
Use promo code AYG to get bonus content
and get the episodes before they come out and HD streaming.
Do it.
Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Oh, baby, here we go.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
The show where we sit down with your favorite comedians
and find out if they grew up classy or if they're absolute trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful, absolutely beautiful day
here.
New York City, the East Village, Manhattan, alive and well.
Gas Digital Studios in the fucking big room for the big guest.
My co-host is coming at you right fucking next to me, sipping on a Poland
spring.
Ladies and gentlemen, don't forget, the next time you're reaching for a best
pal,
you make it a kippy.
This guy tastes great, and he's less filling.
Give it the fuck up for Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, what's up, everybody?
Thanks for tuning in.
Real quick, a little bit of business.
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Use promo code AYG.
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We get to wet our beaks.
It's a fucking win-win.
Yes, sir.
Do it.
And, gang, we could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest
here with us today
via satellite gas digital technology, 78G.
I don't know what we got, but we got him.
We could not be more excited.
He is an incredibly successful stand-up comedian, actor, and voice actor.
You've seen him in Funny People, Workaholics, Aqua Teen, Hunger Force, Bob's
Burgers, Comedy Bang Bang,
The Lucas Brothers Moving Company, Adventure Time, Love, Teachers, Those Who
Can't, Paradise PD.
He has his own Comedy Central Presents.
You've seen him on The Tonight Show.
This is not happening.
Not safe with Nikki Glaser.
Drunk History, Carson Daly, Hot Ones, four appearances on fucking Conan.
His specials include Loose in Chicago, I Like His Old Stuff, and Whiskey Icarus.
I don't know if he's garbage or not, but I know he's got a little bit of
fucking cash on him.
I'll tell you that right now from that rap seat.
Give it the fuck up for the one, the only, Mr. Kyle Kinane, everybody.
Yeah.
Wow.
Wow.
You don't know how much day rates are and how many of you are.
This guy was in a honey wagon for 100 bucks a day.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah, this guy did a lot of non-union animation work.
$80.
Kyle, thank you so much for doing the show, man.
Good to see you.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah.
Thanks for having me, man.
What's going on, fellas?
Not much, man.
We're chilling.
Yeah, so what we're going to do is we want to hear a little bit about your past,
how you grew up,
and then we'll launch into some questions.
You're a Midwestern guy, right?
You're Illinois.
Yeah, I grew up.
I mean, I don't know if it's like a game at the end where we find out if I'm
garbage or not,
but probably the backstory is going to give it away real quick.
That's what we like.
I grew up in a town called Addison, Illinois.
It's about 20 miles outside of Chicago.
And, you know, I was like, let's see, from the start, I don't know, I was just
like a shy kid.
And then I thought, then I'm like, somebody laughed at a joke in high school.
I'm like, oh, being funny is how you get attention.
And then that just made me an asshole because you look back at how often you
thought you were being funny.
Oh, yeah.
And the percentage of you being funny versus the percentage of you just being
real obnoxious and louder than anybody else was real lopsided.
I was just a real loud jerk for a long time.
Yeah, trying too hard, man.
Everybody experienced that in junior high.
Trying way too hard.
So desperate.
So desperate.
Just look at me.
Look at me.
Please, please.
What about brothers and sisters?
Did you grow up in a big family?
Small family?
Small family.
Mom and dad are still kicking, still married.
And I had one sister.
She lives down in L.A. now.
And she's, like, close in age.
And we were pals.
So, like, her group of friends and my group of friends, we were all, like, one
big crew going together.
And, like, yeah, as you're talking about, like, you know, knowing the Menzingers
and everything, you know, it started going to see, like, all ages punk rock
shows in the suburbs.
Yeah.
And just, yeah, that was, like, that was my every weekend once I turned 16 was
just going to see bands.
And, yeah, trying to be in bands.
And, like, just some old footage somebody just sent me back in the day where I
clearly had this Mike Ness fascination and had hair to have a Mike Ness fascination.
So, I was trying to pull off this whole social distortion, bad boy, rockabilly
vibe, which is tough when you live with your parents until you're 26 years old.
It's kind of hard.
I don't need anybody.
Except my mom and dad.
Yeah, you're just singing Prison Bound from your car.
Like, oh, man, I'm from the mean streets.
But, oh, shit, my mom's making pop roast tonight.
I got to get home on time.
Canceled band practice.
So, you were in a band growing up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, nothing of note.
It was called the Grand Marquis if you did some real – okay, here's the first
–
That's a pretty good name.
That's a not bad name.
That's pretty good.
The Grand Marquis.
That's what we thought because me and the singer and other guitar players, we
both drove our parents Grand Marquis.
Now, we thought it was a cool name, but we wanted a the in the name, so we're
going to be called the Grand Marquis, but we wanted it to be plural, but we
didn't know how to pluralize Marquis.
It's a French name.
It's a French word that ends in S. And so, like, everybody's like, so you're
the Grand Marquis. We're like, that's the Grand Marquis. How do you spell that?
We're not real sure.
So, we never made Marquis. We didn't know how we were going to spell the name.
So, we never even got around to making T-shirts or anything.
The Grand Marquisies. Check them out this weekend.
What is the Grand Marquis? Is that the wagon?
No.
No, it's a big boat. Big Mercury boat. I think it's the Ford. Ford LTD was the
Ford.
Oh, okay. Holy shit.
I remember one of those doors would kill you. Those doors were huge on those
cars.
That was a pinky steerer. Just put the pinky in the power steering. It was
light blue as my grandparents, so it was a hand-me-down whip.
And just, I remember, like, that was the one car that had, like, enough room to
have the halfway reasonable sex in.
You know, like, when you're, like, in a Ford Escort or something and you're crammed.
A Tercel or something.
You know, six ships going up your asshole or something. But this thing was like,
there's hotel rooms smaller than this.
You know, let me get this car. It has beautiful plush seats. It was a beautiful
ride, I'll tell you.
I was trying to get laid in a fucking Datsun when I was a kid. Fucking good
luck with that.
Yeah. I had a Chevy Lumina. Same thing. It was a big fucking, you could put 15
people in that bag.
You could have an orgy if you wanted to. It was a big fucking boat.
Chevy Lumina. They promoted that one heavy after the movie Days of Thunder came
out.
Once again, am I garbage? Yes.
Deep cuts on Days of Thunder.
I love it.
Cole Trickle. Shout out to fucking Tom Cruise.
Cole Trickle fucking knew how to fucking drive a fucking car. I'll tell you
that.
You know what's trashy, too, is that, you know, the one guy that's in that
became a senator, the guy that played, the guy that owned NASCAR, ran NASCAR? I
can't think of his name, but he went on to become a senator.
I don't know.
You know what I'm talking about?
He was also the bad guy in Fletch.
Yes, that's exactly what he wanted to show up on, like, Law and Order or
something later on.
That's exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's funny.
I can't pull it.
The grand marquee.
Right off with a fucking Days of Thunder fucking reference.
Yeah.
I love it, man.
Get into it, man.
Yeah, let's get into it.
Let's get into some fucking RU Garbage questions.
Talk about growing up at the fucking Kinane House.
So, small town in Illinois, right near Chicago.
So, basically, the suburbs of Chicago, correct?
The most suburb you can get.
The most suburban, like, you know, you had the McDonald's and the Burger King
across the street from each other.
And he's like, you divided families by choosing one or the other.
There was never a stray.
There was never a stray of, like, let's get Burger King today instead of
McDonald's.
You'd have to sleep in the yard if you said something like that.
What were you?
Were you in a McDonald's family?
Yeah, what was your family?
I was at McDonald's at McDonald's because we'd go there.
And then somebody took me to Burger King once.
I'm like, look at this place.
I know.
The burgers.
I like Burger King.
We had a Taco Bell that was across.
I miss the old Taco Bells that were shaped like churches.
Yeah, they were great.
And the old Pizza Huts.
The pizza huts?
Yeah, it had the flat roofs.
The big roofs.
The Taco Bells were like little iglesias.
Yeah.
And then we had a Long John Silver's across the street when it still had the,
like, you had
to walk up the dock to get into Long John Silver's.
And I'd always make the joke, like, you'd walk out of Long John Silver's like
you just
got into port somewhere and then you'd see the Taco Bell.
Oh, we're getting deep into the, somewhere in South America, apparently.
I don't remember going through the canal, apparently.
Yeah, I was like white trash Epcot Center down there.
Your dad's drunk at the whole thing.
I'll tell you, man.
Fucking Long John Silver is the most trashiest of all fast food.
And that was my favorite, our favorite growing up.
Wow.
Wow.
I'm going to, I'm going to, you're going to skip over White Castle or Crystals
and go
right to Long John Silver's.
You're going to take down.
I don't even know.
Yeah, Crystals.
I don't know.
Crystals is just the same, like, no, what is it?
Hardee's and Carl's Jr.
Oh, gotcha, gotcha.
Okay, there you are.
You're right.
White Castle are more or less the same thing.
Or somebody's going to get pissed off because people get real defensive about
their garbage
food.
Oh, yes.
We found out.
Yeah, White Castle, they're a little slot.
Well, you know what White Castle is.
You guys are East Coast.
I had them on Sunday.
You get, you get the Crave case.
You get the cardboard suitcase full of, full of sliders.
What's all the questions here?
I thought we were interviewing you.
Buddy, he looked like he was, he was going away for the month.
We got the two suitcases walking out of fucking White Castle.
Yeah, we got the Crave.
Hands up to your wrist.
He's like, he's carrying jewels.
Like it's a nuclear phone.
That's fucking great.
It's a nuclear football.
You get the chicken rings.
You slide them into the burgers.
Oh, yeah, man.
I know all about it.
I know the moves.
Oh, that is fucking garbage.
Anything open 24 hours becomes your new favorite fast food.
Yeah.
The White Castle's here, though, because there's not that many.
There's not.
There's not that many left.
So it's like, they look wet.
They look like old war vets.
They're like, you know, they're all grizzled.
And there's like tumbleweeds of fucking trash blowing through.
They're tough to see now.
But it's like what you're saying.
I like the fact that they kind of like retain their identity from the 80s.
Like, I hate like what you're saying.
I like the Taco Bell, the way that look and the Pizza Hut's and like the Wendy's
and all
th